| SURE SIGNS OF FANGBANGER ACTIVITY: |
- Turtlenecks in the summer or collars any time of year
|
- Buying Vitamin D, TruBlood and iron supplements by the case
|
| |
- Sucking on your neck really, really hard
|
- Starts looking really hot, with a strange glow about him/her
|
- Only wants to go to Fangtasia or Dracula's Ball
|
- Sleeps all day and... er, works all night?
|
- All of a sudden their wardrobe mostly consists of black lace and leather (see also: Did Your Ex Leave You For A Biker?)
|
- Becomes frighteningly knowledgeable about vampire lore (often dropping it into normal conversation)
|
- Asks significant other to wear fake fangs or have canines shaved to a point
|
- Has a new tattoo of a blood drop, fang puncture, or vampire bat
|
- Has MySpace/Facebook status set to "bitten"
|
- Replaces bed with a king-size coffin
|
| - You wake up with a tiny ache on your breast, where you find two delicate puncture marks.
|
- they tend to be able to smell things that they shouldn't be able to.
|
- You go down on him and find it's been used as a straw
|
- Her tampons no longer make it to the trash
|
- They keep saying "Blah, Blah, Blah, do you want to suck my blood"
|
- Her name is Lorrena Fangit
|
- His nickname is Juice Box
|
- Comes home after a long night and says "Sorry honey, I feel drained"
|
- Asks you to bite them repeatedly during sex
|
- Hangs a bat box in the attic
|
- Always wants to have sex!
|
- The only way to reach him is with the "bat signal"
|
- As the sun is setting, his member is rising
|
- Repeats "bright light, bright light" when sunbathing
|
- While fighting with him he says "One of these days Alice, slurp, I'm gonna drain you dry"
|
- When your fangbanger says "I'm gonna run out to the store" and has returned before you turn around...
|
- When you suspected he has psychic vampirism abilities
|
- preferred profanity includes "fang it!!"
|
- "Bite me!!" Is no longer shouted only in anger
|
- You star saying "bite me" any time you see an attractive man/woman....and it's not because you're angry...but more a dare/invitation.
|
- He gets a boner at the sight of your vericose veins
|
- He leaves you.. and everything you've got in the blood bank.
|
- When your friend asks you, "What is your type of guy/girl?" and you reply, "O Positive!" . . . you might be a fang-banger.
|
- When the phrase, "Drain the Main Vein" takes on a WHOLE new meaning . . . you might be a fang-banger.
|
- When you say that someone "sucks", and the other person replies, "Yeah, but not enough to kill ya." . . . they might be a fang-banger.
|
- When the sex last longer than 15 min. & he can actually find the right spots to bring you pleasure!
|
- When someone says that they like a girl with nice 'jugs' and they are referring to their jugular vein, and not their . . . well, you know . . . they might be a fang-banger.
|
- When you ask someone if they want a Bloody Mary shaken or stirred, and they reply, "Ehh, just jostle her a little bit.". . . they might be a fang-banger.
|
- When you hear the phrase "T & A", and your buddy asks you, "Transfusions and Arteries?" . . . they might be a fang-banger.
|
- When you hear that someone has given their child the middle name "Dialysis" . . . they might be a fang-banger.
|
- If you respond to a personal ad that reads, ". . . seeking hemophiliac for friendship and much, much more . . ." . . . you might be a fang-banger.
|
- They drink anything red and their turn on is bite me
|
- If you get a paper cut, and your lover gets that 'special, tingly' feeling in sensitive areas . . . they might be a fang-banger.
|
- If you read in your local newspaper that someone caused a traffic accident while DRINKING and driving, but their BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) was 0.00 . . . they might be a fang-banger
|
- If the term 'nocturnal emissions' no longer applies to you . . . you might be a fang-banger.
|
- If the term 'heavy flow days' no longer refers to a woman's menses . . . you might be a fang-banger.
|
- When the phrase "Sunday, bloody Sunday" no longer refers to the U2 song.
|
- When they ask for a bloody mary, and it isn't something that makes them drunk.
|
- If they are not in the medical profession, but have a wide knowledge of arteries and their names
|
- If they loathe shape shifters no matter the kind.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Share this
