Version User Scope of changes
Aug 3 2009, 3:54 AM EDT (current) Cassi090 9 words added
Jun 3 2009, 10:20 AM EDT pellia

Changes

Key:  Additions   Deletions
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DID YOUR EX LEAVE YOU FOR A VAMPIRE?!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Baby Got Bite: Signs Your Ex Is a Fangabanger
Click EasyEdit above to share your warning signs.
New to wikis? Visit the Help section for tips on getting started.
SURE SIGNS OF FANGBANGER ACTIVITY:
  • Turtlenecks in the summer or collars any time of year
  • Buying Vitamin D, TruBlood and iron supplements by the case
  • Avoiding garlic
  • Sucking on your neck really, really hard
  • Starts looking really hot, with a strange glow about him/her
  • Only wants to go to Fangtasia or Dracula's Ball
  • Sleeps all day and... er, works all night?
  • All of a sudden their wardrobe mostly consists of black lace and leather (see also: Did Your Ex Leave You For A Biker?)
  • Becomes frighteningly knowledgeable about vampire lore (often dropping it into normal conversation)
  • Asks significant other to wear fake fangs or have canines shaved to a point
  • Has a new tattoo of a blood drop, fang puncture, or vampire bat
  • Has MySpace/Facebook status set to "bitten"
  • Replaces bed with a king-size coffin
  • You wake up with a tiny ache on your breast, where you find two delicate puncture marks.
  • they tend to be able to smell things that they shouldn't be able to.
  • You go down on him and find it's been used as a straw
  • Her tampons no longer make it to the trash
  • They keep saying "Blah, Blah, Blah, do you want to suck my blood"
  • Her name is Lorrena Fangit
  • His nickname is Juice Box
  • Comes home after a long night and says "Sorry honey, I feel drained"
  • Asks you to bite them repeatedly during sex
  • Hangs a bat box in the attic
  • Always wants to have sex!
  • The only way to reach him is with the "bat signal"
  • As the sun is setting, his member is rising
  • Repeats "bright light, bright light" when sunbathing
  • While fighting with him he says "One of these days Alice, slurp, I'm gonna drain you dry"
  • When your fangbanger says "I'm gonna run out to the store" and has returned before you turn around...
  • When you suspected he has psychic vampirism abilities
  • preferred profanity includes "fang it!!"
  • "Bite me!!" Is no longer shouted only in anger
  • You star saying "bite me" any time you see an attractive man/woman....and it's not because you're angry...but more a dare/invitation.
  • He gets a boner at the sight of your vericose veins
  • He leaves you.. and everything you've got in the blood bank.
  • When your friend asks you, "What is your type of guy/girl?" and you reply, "O Positive!" . . . you might be a fang-banger.
  • When the phrase, "Drain the Main Vein" takes on a WHOLE new meaning . . . you might be a fang-banger.
  • When you say that someone "sucks", and the other person replies, "Yeah, but not enough to kill ya." . . . they might be a fang-banger.
  • When the sex last longer than 15 min. & he can actually find the right spots to bring you pleasure!
  • When someone says that they like a girl with nice 'jugs' and they are referring to their jugular vein, and not their . . . well, you know . . . they might be a fang-banger.
  • When you ask someone if they want a Bloody Mary shaken or stirred, and they reply, "Ehh, just jostle her a little bit.". . . they might be a fang-banger.
  • When you hear the phrase "T & A", and your buddy asks you, "Transfusions and Arteries?" . . . they might be a fang-banger.
  • When you hear that someone has given their child the middle name "Dialysis" . . . they might be a fang-banger.
  • If you respond to a personal ad that reads, ". . . seeking hemophiliac for friendship and much, much more . . ." . . . you might be a fang-banger.
  • They drink anything red and their turn on is bite me
  • If you get a paper cut, and your lover gets that 'special, tingly' feeling in sensitive areas . . . they might be a fang-banger.
  • If you read in your local newspaper that someone caused a traffic accident while DRINKING and driving, but their BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) was 0.00 . . . they might be a fang-banger
  • If the term 'nocturnal emissions' no longer applies to you . . . you might be a fang-banger.
  • If the term 'heavy flow days' no longer refers to a woman's menses . . . you might be a fang-banger.
  • When the phrase "Sunday, bloody Sunday" no longer refers to the U2 song.
  • When they ask for a bloody mary, and it isn't something that makes them drunk.
  • If they are not in the medical profession, but have a wide knowledge of arteries and their names
  • If they loathe shape shifters no matter the kind.