Know ThyselfThis is a featured page



Hello there! Thank you in advance for taking an interest in this, my long and twisting tale of Sookie, Eric and the rest of our beloved SVM gang. The first few chapters are infused with some unapologetic fluffy moments, very PG at most. The rest of the story is perhaps not quite so light, with more mature themes, but it's my sincere hope that it's still entertaining! Thanks again! xoxoxo

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KnowThyself



It was just past dark.

I was standing in front of my fire enjoying the warmth. I had just added another log and I took a moment to watch the flames. I heard the familiar and comforting pops and crackles as the embers sparked and danced. It was almost the end of the year and the recent temperatures had been unusually cold. There had been chatter at Merlottes the night before that we were probably going to get some snow. A few of the old-timers had talked of aching knees and backs and hands - apparently those maladies were better predictors than the weather channel. Most people in Bon Temps weren't too excited about the prospect of snow.

I felt a smile curve on my lips.

I knew at least one person who would be thrilled if the white flakes arrived.

My smile faded.

That person...vampire, I corrected myself...had been incognito for months. At least to me. Eric Northman, large and in-charge head honcho of Area Five, owner of Fangtasia and a big pain in my butt most of the time had fallen off the face of the earth as far as I was concerned. Oh, he was still around, doing whatever it is he does over in Shreveport. I saw ads for Fangtasia in the newspapers and his second-in-command, Pam, had checked in with me a few times via phone. I knew their Vampire bar business was booming and things were starting to get back to normal (normal for them, which is still a far stretch from my definition of normal) since the take-over of the state by the Nevada vamps. But despite his assurances that he would call me when his work allowed, Eric had not made so much as made a whisper in my direction. And that was two and half months ago. Head-rolling Vampire boss or not, no one is that busy. I hated to admit it, but his silence kind of irked me. And it irked me that I was irked about it. I needed to think about something else.

I glanced at the clock. It was nearly 7:00. Most nights I would be slinging drinks and making small-talk with the patrons at Merlottes at this hour, but tonight I was free. And alone. It felt odd in a way, it had been so long since I had had the house all to myself. What to do....what to do....

I went into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of sweet tea. I headed back to the warmth of the fire, sat the glass on an end table and plopped down heavily on the comfy sofa. I grabbed up my latest mystery book, curled my legs up underneath me and settled in for a relaxing evening of doing absolutely nothing. I smiled to myself. Maybe in a little while I would take a bubble bath and re-paint my toe nails. I was way overdue for some 'me time'. As I started to read I felt myself begin to relax from the inside out and a feeling of joy began to spread in my chest. I felt happy and safe and warm.

The knock on my door was so sudden and unexpected that I jumped.

I pushed myself up from the couch with a little sigh. I should have known something would happen to disrupt my quiet evening. I wondered if maybe Bill had decided to pop over for a visit, as he sometimes did in the evenings. Jason maybe? But that seemed unlikely considering we really weren't on speaking terms. Well, I thought to myself, whoever it was would just have to keep on trucking down the road. My plans for the evening did not include company and as much as I hated to be rude I had things to do. Chapters to read, nails to paint and tea to drink. My night was full.

I peeped through the peephole (go figure) to see who was coming to call on me. I felt my eyes go wide and I took an involuntary step back, my mouth falling open in a most unbecoming fashion as I registered the identity of my guest.

Eric.

I rolled my eyes at the ceiling. I should have known I wasn't getting the warm fuzzies just from the fire and solitude. I hadn't seen Eric in so long I had forgotten how he affected me. No no no....I couldn't let myself think like that. It wasn't Eric that affected me so profoundly. It was the blood bond we shared.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. Eric was standing there in all his glory. His tall, gorgeous, striking, blond glory. With a tight T-Shirt that stretched over his broad chest and powerful arms. And jeans that fit just as nicely. An expensive looking dark jacket, open so I could see the shirt, completed the ensemble. And his eyes....wow, had they always been that blue?

Okay...maybe it wasn't just the blood tie thing that affected me.

"Sookie," he said, his deep voice familiar and comforting despite the months I hadn't heard it.

"Eric," I responded hesitantly. What was he doing here? "This is a surprise."

"May I come in?"

He said that like I had a choice. Nice touch.

I nodded and stepped back to let him pass. He stepped by me as he entered, very close, and I noticed with some wariness that he smelled absolutely wonderful. When he was in the light I saw that his hair was braided in an intricate fashion, in a way I had admired once before. He was pushing all the right buttons with me and I wondered if he was doing it on purpose. I suspected strongly he was, since Eric rarely - if ever - did anything by chance.

He gazed down at me with those blue eyes that seemed to shine. I was suddenly and acutely aware that he and I were alone. All alone. In my house. Alone. And did I mention we were alone?

The situation was a little uncomfortable. The last time Eric and I had been alone in this house things had happened. A lot of things. Multiple times. Then he lost his memory of that time. Then his memory came back. Ta da! He told me we were going to have a talk about that - about our time together, now that he could remember it. But that was months ago. Could that be the reason for his unexpected visit? Did he somehow know I was off work tonight and that my roomies were off having fun elsewhere? I searched his face for a clue but found nothing useful. His expression was unreadable. I stretched out further, trying to get a read on him via our bond. Nada. And he hadn't spoken a word yet since he walked through the door. That in itself was telling. Eric was nothing if not direct. When he had something to say he said it, generally without preamble.

I felt my shoulders relax in resignation. Yep. This was it. Big Talk time. Leave it to Eric to pick the time and place without letting me know. A little warning would have been nice. Though I had gone over possible conversational scenarios at least a hundred times I still felt nervous as hell. Scared even. And that bothered me more than I wanted to admit. After all....what was there to be nervous about? What happened happened...and it was wonderful and perfect. But it was over. And the beautiful, memory impaired Eric I had been with was long gone. Or at least securely buried.

The silence dragged on for a bit until I realized I was still standing there with one hand on the still-open door. Idiot! I turned slowly, shutting the door purposefully. I took my time, hoping he would say something.

He was looking at me when I turned back around. I shifted uncomfortably.

"So..would you like a TrueBlood?" I asked him, falling into my southern hospitality routine easily.

"No, thank you," he said after a moment. The way he was staring at me I felt very.....stared at.

"So what brings you out here anyway?" I asked him, moving past him towards the fire. I busied my hands by grabbing the old poker and prodding a few logs, causing the flames to rouse a bit.

Eric came to stand right behind me. I could feel his presence. It was comforting, and a little frightening. It had been quite some time since our last blood exchange and I thought for sure this thing we had, this bond, would go away. Or at least weaken. But it was as strong as ever. Maybe even stronger, but since it had been so long since we had seen each other I couldn't be sure.

"I brought something for you," Eric said softly, reaching into an inside pocket of his jacket. He handed me a white envelope with the Fangtasia logo in the return address spot.

Well, whatever I was expecting, this wasn't it. I felt a little embarrassed at my assumptions. Maybe Eric was here on business, not for other, much more personal reasons. But some part of my brain registered a pang of sadness when I contemplated that. I shook off the feelings as a took the envelope from his hand. I flipped it over. It wasn't sealed, the back flap was just tucked in. I looked up at Eric with curiosity.

"What's this?"

"Your payment for services in Rhodes."

I felt my eyes go wide. I looked down at the envelope, then back up at Eric. He nodded toward the envelope with a ghost of a smile. I pulled open the flap and couldn't keep back a sharp intake of breath as I looked at the check. It was more money than I made at Merlottes in six months. It was money I had well earned, but I had written it off when the Queen, Sophie Ann, had died and the King of Nevada had taken over the state. I checked the signature on the check. It was signed by Felipe De Castro himself.

"Eric," I started to say something but then just shook my head. My brain was spinning. It's not every day a barmaid in Bon Temps is presented with this much money.

"I'm sorry it took so long to get to you," Eric said.

"I didn't think I'd get it at all, to be honest. Not after..." I let my voice trail off, not sure if the subject of the take-over was a sore spot. But Eric just smiled.

"When a take over of a Kingdom occurs it's much like a business venture. The new regime gets the territory and all the income and personnel that go with it. They also assume the debts."

I couldn't help but grin.

"Tell the King I said thanks," I said as sat the envelope up on the mantle above the fireplace, leaning it against some knick-knacks. "I appreciate you coming all the way out here to bring it to me. I know you're probably real busy in Shereveport." My voice sounded just a tad accusing I thought. I hadn't intended that, but the truth was, I was a little hurt that Eric hadn't called me since the night he and Pam brought news of the new King's offer of protection.

Eric paused, then nodded. "It has been quite busy, yes. But the King and Sandy finally departed two nights ago so I was able to make time to deliver this to you personally."

"No more being 'overseen'?" I asked him, trying to very hard to lighten my voice lest any more unintended emotion seep through.

"Not as much."

I started to say something else but then Eric took a step towards me. He reached over and placed his hands on my arms and moved in very close. I looked up into his face. It felt much like he was going to bend over and kiss my cheek, as he had done several times in the past before departing. Again, I felt the sudden tug of pain in my heart. I realized with some irritation that I didn't want him to leave yet.

As it turned out, he didn't either. Instead of kissing my cheek, he bent down and gently touched my lips with his own. It was a delicate kiss, gentle, but the effect on my body was instant. I shuddered involuntarily and felt a surge of want. It was ridiculous that such a small contact could arouse such feelings inside me. But, I reasoned with myself, it had been quite a while since I had enjoyed male company and I'm a flesh and blood woman with desires and needs. And Eric was gorgeous. And I liked him. Plus that darned blood bond wasn't helping matters.

Eric stepped back, moving his hands down my arms to take both my hands in his. I felt a curious need to say something to fill up the silence, but I kept my mouth shut. After all, Eric had come to me. I figured it was his turn to think of something to say, if he wanted to.

And he wanted to.

"I am very sorry I have not contacted you before tonight. These past weeks have been a crucial time for us. For me, and for those under my charge. I had to - what is the phrase? 'Keep my head in the game' to secure our position."

I nodded. I got that. Vamp business wasn't like human business. In my world, when one company takes over another, workers might have to worry about losing their jobs and pensions. With vamps, they have to worry about losing body parts. And Eric had a lot of lives to account for. Vamps and humans both that worked for him and depended on him to keep them safe. It was a daunting task I imagine. One I didn't envy. But Eric was apparently very good at what he did - whatever that was. Good enough that he was the only Sheriff in Louisiana the new regime hadn't decided to kill straight out. His abilities saved him - and all those that worked under him. I might very well be included in that. Lord knows Eric saved me directly more than once.

I felt a little light blink on in my head as I realized the very things about Eric that had always warned me to keep him at a safe distance were the very things that made him such a hot ticket in the Vamp world. As if I needed another reminder of just how different we were.

I noticed that Eric was gazing into the fire now. There was something in his face I couldn't get a read on. I felt a sudden urge to reach over and put my arms him and I had no idea where that was coming from.

Things were feeling a little wierd. Okay, a lot wierd. Here we were, an ancient Viking vampire and a Telepathic Barmaid, alone together in a house where we had sexed up every room, taking turns staring into a fire and not talking. My patience level was starting to get low. Maybe Eric had centuries ahead of him to wait for the perfect time and the correct words, but I sure didn't. I took a deep breath and exhaled.

"Do you need to get back to Fangtasia?" I asked, pleased with myself at my calm delivery of the question.

To my suprise, Eric answered immediately.

"Yes, I do need to get back. There is still much work to do and I can't allow myself to become complacent just because the King has left. Victor is still here to keep watch over the Kingdom. And me. He's capable but I don't trust him. And he certainly does not trust me. Not yet. I need to keep well ahead of him."

I nodded and started towards the door, intending to walk him out. An arm around my waist stopped me. I froze as Eric came to stand behind me, his right arm pulling me against him, my back to his chest, and his left hand wound into my hair. Uh oh. I felt my breathing quicken at the proximity, at the closeness. I felt Eric lean down, felt his lips brush my skin. He spoke into my ear quietly, though there was no one else around to hear him.

"Just because I need to get back doesn't mean I'm going."

His voice was smooth and warm, like hot butter. I could feel the vibrations in his chest as he spoke all the way into my bones. He kissed my neck just below my ear, sending a chill down my spine. I could feel his smile against my skin and he trailed a few more feather light kisses down my neck.

Ok, that just about did it for me. I shut my eyes for a few seconds, trying to steel my resolve. I tried to remember why it was I was annoyed at Eric. Oh, right - he had been avoiding me for months, he had promised to call me when he could and he never did, he was a master manipulator Vampire boss. He.....my train of thought came to a sudden stop when I felt his tongue dart into my ear very lightly. Oh, who cares!

My self-righteous indignation melted into something more akin to self-serving lust. I was close to surrendering, so close. I felt beautiful at that moment. Beautiful and wanted and needed. I leaned my head back against Eric's broad shoulder, closing my eyes and just enjoying the moment. Then I remembered the moment wasn't real. All these emotions were by-products of some kind of spell, whatever magic was held in our so-called blood bond. As real as it felt, I knew deep down it wasn't. The way a few too many beers sometimes made weak men feel tough and invincible, this blood thing made me feel close to Eric in a way that was wonderfully blissful. I wondered if he was under the same spell. I wondered when the buzz was going to wear off. And it would, right? And when it did wear off and I was seeing clearly again, I knew I would have major regrets for anything stupid I did while I was drunk with this bond.

With effort, I opened my eyes and pulled away from Eric. He kept me pinned against him for a few seconds longer, like he was making sure I was serious in my attempt to move away, the he let me go slowly. I turned to face him.

"Eric," I began to say before he interrupted me.

"Why do you always pull back from me, Sookie?"

He looked quite serious. He took one step forward and I took one back. He stopped.

"I remember a time you didn't mind so much." He wasn't smiling but his eyebrows raised slightly. Yep, definately felt the Big Talk coming on.

I shook my head. "That was almost a year ago, Eric. And it was...different then. You were different."

"Tell me how I was different, my lover."

Oh hell, why did he have to call me that? Just hearing the words made my body start to warm.

"You know very well what I'm talking about. You got your memory back now. Isn't it obvious?" I was not going to stand here and give Eric a scene by scene analysis of all the things he said and did while he was cursed that were contrary to his normal personality.

"You took care of me. It was quite late. You were very tired. But yet you took me into your home and cared for me. You cleaned my wounds, dressed me and allowed me to lay by your side while you slept."

I rolled my eyes. So, this was about me now? I thought we were talking about him. Way to deflect the conversation, Eric. I was beginning to feel handled.

"Yes, Eric, I did all those things for you. What's your point?"

"Why would you do that for me?"

"Well, I am in your retinue, remember. Maybe I thought I had to." There. I was proud of that one.

Eric actually had the audacity to smile.

"No," he said simply.

"No?" I was getting a little irritated. If he had something to say, he needed to just say it.

"If you have something to say, Eric, just get on with it." There we go. Thoughts into action. Hear me roar.

Eric glanced around for just a moment, then walked over and sat on my couch. He leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. He looked up at me.

"Do you still have feelings for me, Sookie?"

Well, sure. Irritation, lust, fear, friendship. Not always at the same time and not always in that order.

"Do we really have to talk about this?" I asked him, averting my eyes.

"I think we do." His tone was gentle, but I knew there was no way he was going to give up. I searched through the conflicting thoughts racing in my head trying to get a grip on myself. I had been dreading this talk, but also impatient for it. It upset me that I there was a part of me that was hopeful...but for what, exactly?

Eric raised an eyebrow, waiting. Did I have feelings for him, that was the question, right?

Ok, that threw me a bit when I really thought about it. Eric - the cursed Eric - and I had voiced our affection for each other. I felt my face redden as I recalled the events that took place after those declarations. We never admitted love, thank heavens, but something close to it. As I stood there looking at him, I knew I couldn't deny that even now, yes, I did have feelings for the big Viking with the bigger ego. Eric was amusing, he made me laugh and he was an incredible lover. He was a decent guy as far as vampires go. He could even dance. But with the blood bond thing constantly humming in the background, I wasn't sure how much I could really trust what I was feeling when I was around him.

"Eric, I don't know."

Honesty is good, right?

His expression changed. He looked....well, I would have said he looked disappointed if it was anyone else. But with vampires it was hard to be sure.

"I think you do know, lover."

"Oh, so now you're going to tell me how I feel?" I knew I sounded sarcastic, but I didn't care. Eric was always tossing out little predictions as though he was a gypsy with a crystal ball. Telling strangers I was his 'future lover' (ok, that one did end up being right) telling Quinn I would be his, telling me I would enjoy the blood tie. He said it like it was already set in stone, like I had no say in those events at all. I wasn't about to be one of those women that clung to a man like a lifeline just because he was handsome or had a good job or a nice car. Women that felt downright honored just to have a man's approval. I saw enough of that in this town.

"Here's the deal, Eric," I took a breath, feeling a rush of honesty bubbling up. "I do like you." Most of the time, I added silently. "Like I already told you, those days that you spent here were a lot of fun. You were very sweet to me, and you weren't prancing around like you were God's gift to the world. You weren't always on the phone scheming and plotting with 'your people'," I raised up my fingers when I said that, making little quotations. "You just wanted to talk, and laugh and have sex with me. We were in a little bubble of an alternate reality and it was nice to escape the real world for a while. But that's gone." I felt some pain as I said the words. I hoped fervently that I wouldn't start crying, as I sometimes did when I was angry or confused.

Eric looked at me for a long moment, then stood up and moved close to me. He took my hand and I let him pull me to the couch. We sat down together. I pressed myself into the soft cushions and shut my eyes, trying to calm myself. I was mad at myself for getting so worked up while Eric seemed completely calm. It wasn't fair.

"My feelings for you are not gone, my lover," Eric spoke quietly, sitting partially turned toward me on the couch. I looked at him, quite stunned, and saw his eyes were glowing like blue gems, warm and intense. I looked down, not sure what to say. I saw he was holding both my hands in his, something I hadn't even noticed before. Eric continued speaking, but I kept my eyes on our hands. "I had forgotten what it was like to feel such happiness. To have someone care for me unconditionally, as you did. You asked nothing of me. You gave yourself over to me willingly. You didn't pull back from me, you weren't afraid of me. I would like very much to feel that happiness again."

I raised my eyes to meet his. I could almost feel the truth in his words. He wanted me. And I had a powerful desire to give him what he wanted. I felt myself drawn to him like a magnet. I felt the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions slipping away like sand through fingers. It felt so good to be here with Eric, to have him close to me. I saw him shift position slightly and he leaned toward me for a kiss. My heart rate rose in anticipation. Our lips touched, gently at first then stronger. He lifted his hands to place them on my neck, his mouth working in earnest. I felt myself drifting away at his touch. It was perfect. Nothing in the world could ever be as natural as being in Eric's arms...

Natural.

The realization of what was happening hit like a lightening bolt. I pulled back as much as could with Eric's strong hands holding me. He knew I was trying to disengage from him and he whispered 'No," into my mouth and kissed me even harder, his right hand moving down my side, brushing my breast slightly on the way down. I was hanging on to sanity by a thread. It would have been so easy to yield to my desires, so easy. I wanted to, wanted it more than anything else in the world. That's why I knew I had to stop.

I pushed as hard as I could against his chest and finally got a reaction. He broke off the kiss but only moved his face inches away, looking into my eyes. His fangs were fully extended and I was pretty sure other parts were, too. I shut my eyes against the thought. I couldn't let myself think about that.

"Sookie, " he began what I assumed would be a protest and I cut him off.

"This isn't real, Eric," I blurted out without thinking. I pushed as far away as I could from him, giving myself a few more precious inches of space. I shook my head but he didn't move.

"It feels quite real, my lover" he said with a very Eric-esque grin. I could almost taste his need in the air. I was doing my best to look anywhere but at his face, afraid my will would crumble. "I want you. I want every part of you. I want you to trust me and talk to me the way you did when I stayed here with you. I want to..." he stopped, waiting until he caught my eyes again before continuing. "I want to love you."

Ok. Didn't see that one coming! I was now more certain than ever that it wasn't just me who was in a very large, very confusing emotional pickle. Eric Northman does not declare intentions of love to human women. He might seduce them, feed from them, even like some of them, but no way would he consider loving them. It was arrogance or blind stupidity to entertain the idea that I was different from any other woman he had known in the past thousand years. I was done deluding myself, and I figured it was time Eric was, too.

I wriggled away from him and stood up and crossed the room to stand by the fire. I turned to him. He hadn't moved.

"Did you ever stop and think that maybe all the happiness you say you felt had nothing to do with me?"

His brows closed together. "No."

Oooookay. He liked that word a lot it seemed. I sighed.

"Eric, you spend all your time being the boss. I know you said you liked it, but you also said it was nice to have some time to yourself without being surrounded by people always wanting things from you. When you were cursed, you were free from all of it. All that vampire political stuff had disappeared for you. Maybe that's where the real happiness came from. It was kind of like...like you were on a vacation that was long overdue. The fact I happened to be there wasn't the most important thing."

"Is that what you think?" he asked, his voice almost amused.

"Yes, I do." I'd had a lot of time to think about the events and as much as I sometimes enjoyed fantasizing that Eric really did love me and really did want to stay with me forever, I knew it was just that - a fantasy.

Eric looked thoughtful, not an expression I was used to seeing from him.

"Perhaps you're right. I admit that there are times I grow weary of the realities of my existence." He sat back on the couch and shrugged. "But the fatal flaw in your theory is that I am here, right now. And I know what I feel for you has nothing to do with my needing a vacation."

How weird was this? Always in control Eric the viking was calmly spilling his emotional guts while I was jumping up and down and pacing the room like a scared rabbit.

"Why do you have to fight me so hard, Sookie?" he asked.

"Fight you? I'm not fighting you," I answered immediately, a little taken aback. Was that what I was doing? I wasn't sure.

"Do you not enjoy being with me?"

The big elephant in the room just made it's presence known.

"Yes, Eric, I do enjoy being with you. That's the problem!"

"Excuse me?"

I put my hands over my eyes and let out a little growl.

"I hate the way I feel around you! It drives me crazy! I feel warm, and safe and beautiful, and I can always feel where you are. It's not normal. It's not natural. I keep hoping it will fade or wear off, but it hasn't."

"And it won't," Eric said simply, leaning forward. He looked concerned. "Many women would welcome the feelings you described."

"I am not 'many women'. You ask me how I feel about you and I tell you I don't know because I don't! I can't know how I really feel. And you can't know how you feel about me, either!"

"I can, and I do," Eric stated emphatically.

"Well, if that's true then I guess this blood bond thing only works one way." I sounded exactly like I felt. Despondent.

"You know that's not the case. I feel much the same when we are together. Not exactly, of course, but similar. With the exception of occasional bomb scares, I enjoy our tie. Very much. I wish you would, too."

This much honesty from Eric was almost frightening. I didn't know what to make of it. But that wasn't the real issue. The problem was he wasn't understanding what I was trying to tell him. Maybe he was content to live in a non-reality but I wasn't.

"Look, this is the thing; I am sick to death of being jerked around. First, there was Bill who was apparently ordered to dump me and go running off to Lorena." Saying her name still caused me pain. "And he did it," I snapped my fingers, "just like that. That isn't how people in my world treat each other. It isn't right. But for you - your whole life is one big mess of Kings and Queens," I waved my hand at him, "and Sheriffs. Everyone is used to either being ordered around or giving orders or both."

I was pacing the floor now, and I new I was starting cross the line between explanation and rant but I just didn't care. "That isn't how it's supposed to work. Not for me. Ever since I met Bill, I have been pushed into things I wanted no part of. And the kicker is that the whole mess, everything, started on false pretenses. Bill was ordered to find me and seduce me. For political gain! Since that moment I have been manipulated and lied to and coerced in one way or another more times than I can count. God gave me free will for a reason. I hate seeing it being taken away piece by piece. And now I'm being pulled around again against my will because of this blood tie. It's not fair!"

Well, there. I said it. And if I sounded like a petulant two year old I guess I just didn't care.

I risked a glance at Eric. He was looking at me intently. "Is that what you think is happening here? You think I'm forcing you to do something through our bond?"

"No, I don't think that," I answered slowly, choosing my words carefully. "Not exactly. You aren't doing anything deliberate," Jesus Christ Shepherd of Judea, I hoped not. I couldn't take another blow like that. "But the blood bond makes me feel things that aren't there. Who knows? Maybe I really would care for you even if we hadn't exchanged blood so many times. Maybe I would still feel warm and safe and all. But I don't know. As long as this blood tie is here I can't be sure if what I'm feeling is real. And that scares me. I'm surprised it doesn't scare you, too. You like to be in control of things, and this blood bond is kinda like a curse, like an illusion."

"Sookie my lover, I think you are overestimating the power our bond has on us."

"I think you're underestimating it."

We stared at one another for a long moment. The silence went on long enough that I felt like I should say something but, honestly, I was just plain talked out.

It was Eric that finally broke the silence.

"Am I correct in understanding that you won't acknowledge any feeling you may or may not have for me so long as we are bonded?"

I thought about that quite seriously. Was that what I was saying? Blood bond or not, I had always had a fondness for Eric, and that fondness had grown into deep affection after our time together while he was cursed. I remembered how it had hurt me when our relationship had changed in the months after the curse was lifted before he regained his memory. I had, quite simply, missed my friend. And what if the bond was always there? Was I really prepared to say that I would never admit affection or love for Eric? No, I knew I wasn't ready to say that.

"I do care for you, Eric," I said softly. "I don't know how much is due to the bond, but it is something I won't deny."

"That is a start," he smiled.

Chapter two


I was starting to relax as I warmed up a blood for Eric in the microwave. I was a little surprised when I asked him (again) if he wanted one and he said 'yes'. After our emotional (on my part) and (as yet) unresolved Talk, I had expected him to leave; to return to Fangtasia and finish up his evening there with Pam and the motley crew of fangbangers that frequented the bar. But he was still camped out on my couch, showing no signs of leaving or of having any awkward discomfort at being here.

The microwave beeped at me and I removed the bottle slowly, my thoughts still spinning. I felt strangely disoriented. I thought a pretty good grasp on what I wanted and didn't want in regards to Eric. But seeing him again was churning up feelings I had tried very hard to forget. And it wasn't helping that he wasn't acting like the guarded Eric I had come to know. He was calm, subdued and, dare I say it? Open. It was nice in a way, true, but it was different and it was throwing me off.

I headed back in, found Eric exactly as I left him on the couch. Almost exactly. He had removed his jacket and it was lying neatly across the back of a chair. He thanked me and patted the seat next to him as I handed him the bottle. After a moment of hesitation I did sit. My suspicion meter was working overtime, as it tended to do whenever Eric was around. I wondered if the reason for his non-departure was because he was still expecting something else to happen here tonight. I wasn't getting that vibe from him right at the moment, but I knew from experience things could go from zero to orgasm pretty darn fast with this particular vamp.

"Why do you work for the shifter, Sookie?" he asked after taking a long drink from the bottle.

The question took me by surprise and I'm sure my face betrayed that. I shifted a bit, trying to get comfortable as I pondered the question, finally choosing to turn to the side and press my back into the corner of the couch. I pulled my feet up and crossed my legs. It was a comfy positions for me, plus it put some room between myself and the big Viking who took up a pretty substantial portion of the couch.

"Sam is a great boss," I told him honestly. "He's also a good friend." And a pretty good kisser, I added very silently to myself.

Eric frowned. "I guess what I meant to ask is why you would choose to work in a bar. With your ability, I would think it would be extraordinarily difficult for you to be surrounded by so many people. There are many professions that would offer you a more relaxing environment."

Well, that stunned me on a few levels. Eric had never really asked me how I felt about my job. He had never really asked me how I felt about anything. Well, except how I felt about him. I remembered quite well the time I had been having a particularly bad night and Eric had bluntly told me he cared nothing of my mood. What was he after with this line of questioning? I felt the familiar twist of suspicion start to build, but I pushed it down. I really hated feeling like I had to be on guard all the time. The Christian thing to do, I decided, was to let Eric have the benefit of my doubt. For now.

"I had a few other jobs before Merlotte's," I told him, trying to sound casual. He was looking at me intently, like he was quite serious in wanting to hear my answer. "But I actually really like working there. I mean, yeah, it gets old sometimes; hearing what everyone is thinking. But I have gotten used to it over the years. I can tune it out when I need to, when it gets to be too much. I guess I'm lucky 'cause most people here are pretty decent. Some of them have some pretty scary thoughts, but I've heard lots worse." I thought about my first night at Fangtasia. Every thought was nothing but sex sex sex.

Eric looked thoughtful. He took another drink. "What were you planning to do tonight before I so rudely interrupted your evening." He smiled gently, a nice, normal, non-fang smile that made my heart skip a beat. I found I had to smile back.

"First, maybe your coming by was an interruption, but since you brought that big check from the King it would be pretty ungrateful of me to call you rude, wouldn't I?"

"So what was I interrupting?" he asked.

"I really hadn't made any plans to speak of. I was going to read for a while, I thought about taking a bubble bath and painting my nails. Maybe watch a movie. I dunno, just girl stuff I guess."

"This is how you usually spend your nights when you are not at work?" He didn't sound accusing or judgmental when he asked, just curious. I filed that away under 'Things that make you say Hmmm' to ponder later.

"I've been working a lot of extra hours lately." I have nothing else to do, I thought to myself, having a brief moment of self pity. "And when I'm home my roommates are almost always here, so tonight is not really a usual night for me." Especially now that Eric was here and I was several - several - thousands of dollars richer!

"Pretend I'm not here," he said, with a little glow in his eyes.

Riiiiiiight. I'll get right on that.

"Excuse me?" I laughed. "I don't think that's possible."

"You mentioned you were going to do that feminine ritual of taking a bubble bath."

Okay, here we go. I knew all this bizarre line of questioning had to be building up to something. Eric and I spent some very enjoyable time in that bathroom. (still numero uno on my list of great showers!) I suspected he was about to offer his, uh, grooming services again and I had a rebuttal poised on my lips when he stood up and walked into kitchen with what was now an empty bottle.

"Take your time, my lover," he called to me from the kitchen. I heard the water start running. Was he rinsing out the bottle? "You have no need to worry, I promise you I will not intrude. Perhaps I will step outside and enjoy the evening air until you are done."

"It's freezing outside!" I protested, not really knowing what else to say.

"Sookie," he said, stepping back into the room, but pausing in the doorway. "I assure you, this weather is nothing compared to what I have lived through. I find the chill quite enjoyable, actually. Now, scoot please. Enjoy yourself." He raised a hand and motioned towards the hall leading to the bathroom.

I sat there with my mouth hanging open for at least ten seconds. Eric watched me with an amused expression. Why did I feel compelled to do as Eric suggested? Did I believe him when he said he wouldn't bother me? I stood up slowly. A bath really did sound good, I had to admit. I had spent a big part of the day cleaning and doing laundry and I felt a little musty. And, I decided, if he broke his promise I could always rescind his invitation. And I would, too. I think. Yes, I would definitely kick him out. Maybe.

"Okay," I said slowly, still feeling more than a bit hesitant. "Feel free to warm up another drink if you want. And you can watch some T.V. or do whatever." Eloquent. I could have smacked myself.

Eric didn't move from the doorway as I turned and started down the hall. I glanced at the fire on the way out and saw it was flagging a bit. I made a mental note to put another log on when I was through with my bath. I made a stop in my bedroom first to grab some fresh clothes. I decided since it was getting late and I was going to get cleaned up, I might as well just put on pajamas. I grabbed some new undies and then chose a very modest two piece flannel pajama set with long pants and a long sleeved shirt that buttoned up the front. It was bright blue and had little snowflake designs all over it. Eric would probably like that. I hesitated. Did I really just think that? I shook my head. Whatever.

I grabbed a towel and shut and locked the door to the bathroom. I decided to forgo the full bubble bath and just take a shower. I soaped up with some lilac scented body wash, the good kind I really liked but rarely splurged on; then I ran a razor over my legs and under my arms. The hot water beating down on my back was loosening all the knots and tension that had been forming during the evening. I tried to concentrate on relaxing, so that meant not going over and over all the things that Eric and I had said and done tonight. There was plenty to think about, no doubt there, but I decided I would think about that tomorrow. I smiled. Thank you Scarlet O' Hara!

I found myself peeking around the curtain every so often as I lathered up and washed my hair, half expecting to see Eric sliding into the room. He never did. I found myself disappointed. Bah! What was I wanting here? Was I really hoping Eric would break or ignore his promise to me? What was that about? I had a pang of nostalgia and longing as I dried off with one of my white fluffy towels. Was this the same towel Eric had used to dry me after our infamous shower scene? Was it the one I used on him? I squeezed my eyes shut. What was I doing? If I let myself think about those things for too long I might convince myself that walking out into the other room and jumping Eric was a pretty good idea. But then I would be in for a world of trouble. Eric would probably assume I was giving myself to him, to be 'his.' I would have an even harder time trying to break through the mysterious spell of our blood bond. Sex with Eric, as perfect and amazing as it would no doubt be, was just not in my best interests right now. I had to get a grip on myself. I needed to figure out where my feelings began and ended and where his started, and vice versa. Right now this blood tie was getting everything mixed up and our emotions were weaving together in a way that was driving me insane.

I got dressed, brushed out my hair but didn't dry it, brushed my teeth and opened the little door under the sink where I kept my basket of nail polish and manicure supplies. I unlocked the door and tred barefoot down the hall as quietly as I could. I could feel Eric (joy joy) so I knew he was in the house. I entered the living room to find the fire raging again (he had apparently put on another log) and the vampire himself was standing over my small assortment of books and movies. He was picking through the selection, looking at the covers curiously, flipping a book over from time to time to read the back cover. I felt my face redden. I knew I had a lot of romance novels over there. Some of the covers didn't leave much to the imagination as to what the book was about. What can I say? I might be a telepath with an assortment of supernatural buddies but I'm still a girl. I walked closer, still clutching my little basket of nail supplies. I choked back a giggle as Eric picked up a book, one of my few in hard back, and furrowed his brow in confusion. He looked at me curiously.

"There are some very interesting things you read," he said with some amusement. He held up the book in his hand. "What is this one about?"

I'm sure my face was pink as I answered. "That is actually about a teenage girl that falls in love with a classmate who turns out to be a vampire."

Eric chuckled, a deep rumbly sound as he scanned the back cover. Vampire stories and movies and reality shows were all the rage now, as he was no doubt aware.

He glanced again at the front cover then slid the book back into it's proper place. "I thought it might have been about a seller of fruit."

He turned to face me. His face was pink and full; he had probably helped himself to another bottle of blood while I showered. He stepped closer to me and his nostrils flared. He bent his head slightly, then shut his eyes. "Lilac," he whispered.

"Is that bad," I asked.

"Your own scent is much more enjoyable, but it's pleasant."

Not sure what to say about that I nodded to the selection of movies. "Want to watch something?"

"What would you have chosen to watch this evening?" he asked me, stepping aside. I almost answered honestly - I did in fact have a small group of so-called 'chick flicks' that I watched on my 'me' nights. But I reigned myself in from answering. This was getting to be too much. One, Eric was really starting to spook me with all this unselfishness. And I was also feeling like the world's worst hostess. I was a good southern girl and was raised properly. One did not leave guests to wander the house and get their own drinks while the hostess was off taking a shower and padding around the house in her pj's. And now I was about to choose a very girly movie, too? I very much doubted Eric the vampire boss would enjoy Steel Magnolias or Bridget Jones Diary. Maybe I hadn't asked him to come over, but I had invited him in and that put him squarely under my hospitality. My Grandmother would have rapped my hand with a wooden spoon!

"No way," I said strongly. "You pick something. I insist." I turned on my heel and plopped down on the carpet in front of the fire with my little basket of nail supplies. The heat from the fire would help dry both my hair and the polish. I pointedly ignored Eric while I took a little pad and dabbed it with some nail polish remover and started rubbing my toenails one by one. The existing polish was chipped and faded. I hoped Eric hadn't been paying too much attention to my feet.

"Where is that move you told me I should watch?" He asked suddenly. He had his back to me and was bent over, hands on his knees looking at movie titles. Lord have mercy, the view!

"Huh? What movie?" I'm sure I sounded a little rattled.

"Something about wind, I believe."

My eyes went wide. "Gone with the Wind?" I laughed out loud. Yes, I did once say something to Eric about him having to see that movie. I had a big stake jabbed in my side and had been loaded down with pain killers at the time, though. Did he really remember that?

"Ah," he said, apparently finding it. It was an old copy on a double VHS tape set. He looked at the box and his eyes narrowed.

"Eric," I said slowly "That's kind of a long movie."

"Are you wanting to go to bed? Or am I..." He paused a moment and seemed to be searching for the right words. "Wearing out my welcome?"

"No, not at all!" I answered immediately and was a little surprised that I really meant it. Eric's presence wasn't wearing on me at all. Quite the opposite, I was actually enjoying his company now that we were apparently past the heavy chit-chat and sexual overtures. "But I thought you would be wanting to go soon, you know, keeping ahead of Victor and all."

He smiled. "Pam knows how to reach me if there is a need. She is quite capable to keep an eye on things in my absence, as she has proven before."

Yeah, before when her boss was cursed and having wild sexual escapades off in Bon Temps with a barmaid.

"OK then. I'm warning you, it might be a little, well, not boring - at least not to me - but it's not really much of an action film." I had a feeling Eric was more of a blood and guts movie kind of vamp, but he just nodded and started up the first tape. After adjusting the sound to a good level for both watching and talking he came over and sat down in front of the fire with me. He sat with his long legs stretched out in front of him, leaning back on his arms. He wasn't uncomfortably close to me and I realized with some shock that his proximity, which sometimes made my nervous, was actually soothing. I sighed. Oh, thank you almighty blood bond! Not!

And there we sat, me playing pedicure with Eric hunkered down beside me watching Gone with the Wind. In the past few years I had come to know about vampires, werewolves, shape shifters, fairies and even other realms of existence. But somehow tonight seemed more crazy than any of it.
Chapter Three

About half an hour had passed quickly and uneventfully. Eric seemed to be genuinely fascinated by the staple of southern culture we were watching. He laughed easily and loudly at points (some things he laughed at weren't really intended to be funny) His laughter warmed me. Eric had such a vibrant way about him. He never seemed to do anything half-way. He laughed, flirted, fought and made love with everything he had. I liked that about him and, I made a mental note to myself, that was something I had always liked about him. Ha! Get thee behind me, evil blood bond! This one is all mine.

My toenails were painted and were slowly drying. (Eric had picked out the color for me. He had chosen a deep red. Surprise Surprise!) I was starting to feel the heavy chip on my shoulder start to diminish as the night wore on. I had to admit I was having a good time with my...well, whatever Eric was to me now. He was a friend, but more than a friend. A former lover but not really because we still had some pretty intense physical moments together even if they didn't always lead to the bedroom. He wasn't a boyfriend, or an ex, like Bill. He was just Eric. I told myself some relationships didn't need to be categorized, just appreciated for what they were.

I felt my hair, it was getting pretty dry. I would need to brush it out again so it wouldn't tangle up. I rose up to grab the brush from the bathroom. Eric watched me. "Be right back," I told him and hurried down the hall, walking a little awkwardly on my heels as I tried not to smudge my new toenail polish since it hadn't set yet. I was back quickly. I sat down carefully, again mindful of the tootsies. I started to run the brush through my hair and noticed Eric was still watching me.

"Bill used to do that for you," he said quietly.

I paused mid stroke. How did he...? Oh, I remembered. He was there one night when Bill helped me with my hair. I felt a wave of anguish. That was the night I had ordered both Bill and Eric out of my house, the night my relationship with Bill had really, truly ended. Thanks for bringing it up Eric, I thought irritably. While you're at it, maybe you can pull off one of my fingernails, too.

"I'm sorry," he told me. Whether he felt my sudden mood change through the bond thing or just saw it on my face I wasn't sure. Maybe both. "I should not have said that." He sounded quite sincere. I was really a tad stunned he had mentioned Bill at all. He had made it clear on more than one occasion that he was quite content with the dissolution of my relationship with the younger vampire.

"It's okay," I told him after a short pause. I hoped my voice didn't sound as sullen as I felt. I didn't meet his eyes. "Bill and I have been broken up for a long time. It actually makes me angry that it still hurts sometimes."

Eric looked away without comment. I started brushing my hair again. We sat in silence for a bit, just watching the movie.

"Do you not trust me, Sookie?" he asked suddenly after about ten minutes. I glanced up and found his blue eyes boring into me. He shifted his position, bringing one leg up and leaning forward to rest his forearm on his knee. Darn, but if he wasn't one good looking vamp! I couldn't help but notice how the firelight played on his pale skin and hair. I stopped the thought in it's tracks. I was wandering again, wasn't I? Yeah, I really was. Stay on target, I told myself firmly. What was the question again?

"I trust you," I said slowly. It wasn't exactly the whole truth, of course. I trusted Eric as much as was possible, what with him being a vampire and all. But, now that he had openly declared his intentions for me in such a direct fashion, I was even more wary. Eric was nothing if not determined and I wasn't sure to what lengths he was willing to go to achieve his goal.

"I think that perhaps Bill's deception has tainted your opinion of vampires. Of males." He shrugged. "Of me."

I felt rocky seas ahead. I really, really wasn't wanting to tred back into a deep conversation with Eric. But the way he said it, with a strange mix of anger and sadness, I didn't feel as though I could dismiss him.

I had to admit that my relationship with Bill had taken away my innocence (in more than one way) I wasn't sure I was ever going to be able to look at someone again and feel like I really, truly knew them. I thought I knew Bill. I thought I knew why he had moved to Bon Temps and I thought I knew how he felt about me. Wrong, wrong and wrong again! I knew it was a sinful act to cast judgment on one for the wrongs of another; I had heard that in church from before I could even understand the words. But was that really what I was doing? Or was I just a wiser person now?

"I don't think it has anything to do with Bill," I told him, hoping it was the truth. "He was my first boyfriend." I rolled me eyes. "You know what I mean." It sounded ridiculous calling a civil war veteran 'boyfriend' but that was the best title I could come up with for Bill.

"I have always been honest with you, you know," Eric stated, his tone lighter. He looked back at the movie. I puffed out a short, barking kind of laugh. He was kidding, right? He looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"You've always been honest with me?" I repeated his words back to him, smiling a bit at his affronted expression. "I will remind you of this conversation the next time you absolutely need me to suck a bullet out of your arm!" I really couldn't bring myself to be angry with him about that even if if was a big, fat lie. The fact was he did take a bullet that would have certainly hit me. Okay, he had taken quite a few bullets for me. But only the first one did he need me to suck out; the others all popped out quite nicely all on their own, thank you very much. I wasn't trying to start an argument, really, but I did get a moment of satisfaction when he realized I was calling him out on his bullshit. He kind of bobbed his head and even had the decency to look a little embarrassed. Very little.

"I did do that, didn't I?" he asked softly.

"MmmmHmmm"

"I found you interesting," he explained. At least he wasn't going to try to deny it. "I wanted to know you better."

"You wanted to get your blood in me and you wanted to get me in bed." I looked him right in the eye. He looked right back.

"That, too." His eyes sparked and he gave me a lopsided Eric-y grin. "But a bed would have been optional. Any surface would have sufficed." He glanced around the room "Kitchen table for instance, fireplace rug, front porch..." He let his voice trail off, turned back to look at me and winked. I turned away so he couldn't see me smile. He never, ever gave up. I found my mood suddenly lifted, and the slight tension that had been mounting the past few minutes seemed to fizzle away.

I shook my head and made a supreme effort to pay attention to the TV screen. I knew this movie forward and backward; I could probably say every single line right along with Scarlet and Rhett and Melanie. I wondered what Eric was thinking. I risked a glance in his direction. He seemed involved in the story; if he was faking interest he was doing a darn good job at it. I filed that information away in the 'brownie points for Eric' section of my brain. Hard for a born and raised southern gal not to like a man - or vampire - who appreciates Gone with the Wind! Maybe next I'd dig out a copy of Old Yeller and see if he cries.

As I watched Scarlet in her beautiful dresses doing what she did best, my mind drifted and wandered. My toes were definitely dry now so I tucked my feet up under me and sat crossed legged. I started in on my fingernails, filing them slowly one by one. A thought popped into my head and I suddenly thought about Pam. She grew up near the time of the Civil War, even though she lived in England. She told me about her layers of clothes, her hair, even the underwear she wore back then while she was still human. I wondered if her life had been anything like what I was watching. I said as much out loud and Eric gave me a long and unreadable look.

"What?" I asked him.

"Nothing," he said, turning away from my gaze. It was most certainly not nothing, though. I felt suddenly angry, but I knew it was just some spillover coming through from Eric. I cursed the bond again. I was sitting here all relaxed and doing my nails and thinking trivial but pleasant thoughts and then Bam! I feel angry for no reason at all. And there was nothing I could do to stop it and I couldn't shut it off. And knowing it wasn't my anger didn't make it feel any less real. I was tempted to let it go, but maybe it was the warmth of the fire, or the friendly-type feelings Eric and I were suddenly sharing but I found myself honestly interested in what was on his mind. If I had upset him in some way it sure hadn't been my intent. I wanted to make it right, if I could. And, most of all, if he was happy then I would be, too. Jesus save me, how twisted was that?

"Did I do something?" I asked him. I knew I sounded irritable. Well, now I felt irritable. Blood Bond strikes again! "You're angry." It wasn't a question and he knew it. He glanced at me then looked ahead.

"You told Pam you thought I killed her," he answered after a moment. His voice was flat, unemotional.

This angered him? I should have known he would have insisted (demanded) that Pam tell him everything she and I talked about that night she came to visit me at Merlottes. And I should have known Pam would tell him; of course she would. Or maybe he had simply overheard our whole conversation. Who knows? Well, it wasn't a big deal, at least not to me. She told me a little about her human life, about how Eric turned her. And yes, I did point out that Eric had in fact killed her. She didn't seem to mind that one little bit.

"Didn't you?" I asked him directly. "She is dead, correct?"

"I took one life and gave her another." He said it simply, still staring straight ahead.

"I guess that's one way of looking at it," I said quietly, not sounding the least bit convinced.

"You think I was wrong." Now it was his turn to not ask a question.

I grimaced inwardly. Pam loved being a vampire; she told me so herself. It was easy to say killing an innocent person is wrong, but if that person wanted to die...? If that person was truly happier dead, was it still wrong? Was it less wrong? A different wrong? Well, now we were getting into some heavy gray areas and I wasn't about to pretend I was smart enough to sort it all out.

"I don't know, Eric." And that was certainly the truth. "Pam told me she's very happy. And she cares for you very much." I don't know why I felt the need to add that last little nugget, but I did.

Some of the vicarious anger I had been feeling started to melt away. Eric looked at me and gave a little nod to the screen. "Pam was a lot like this Scarlet," he said with just the barest hint of a smile. I'm sure I looked taken aback, because I was. Eric was sharing. Again. Wow, was that one of the neighbor's pigs that just flew past the window? I blinked.

"She was beautiful, of course," Eric went on, his voice full of affection. "But that wasn't why I chose her." He stopped suddenly and looked at me. I think he was making sure this was something I wanted to hear. It was. I nodded at him to continue.

"I had been on my own for quite some time. I had already decided to create a child, a companion for myself, when I first saw her. I watched her for many nights before I was sure she was the right one. She came from a wealthy family with servants, maids, tutors. She was educated, for a woman." His voice soured a bit. "She had been groomed from birth to be part of the 'society' crowd, as it was called." He paused, his lips turned up into a small grin. "She had many suitors." He stopped, his eyes focused on something far, far away for a moment. He looked at me. I'm sure my eyes were round as saucers. I was speechless, as much from Eric's sudden openness as from the tale. I was utterly fascinated.

"It didn't take long at all for me to see she felt stifled in her role. I had observed humanity for a very long time. Pam wasn't cut out for the life they were trying to force upon her. She told you about the boy?"

"The boy she had run off to meet the night you..." I didn't finish. I didn't have to. Eric nodded.

"He was nothing to her, that much was clear to me. She wasn't running to him so much as she was running away from her future. She was a rare woman for her time. She had courage and spirit. I waited for her that last night." He paused a moment. "I glamoured her before I took her. She felt no pain."

And that, as they say, was that.

I felt like I should be repulsed by what he just told me. I should feel righteous anger, shouldn't I? Eric had just admitted pre-meditated murder. This wasn't just an impulsive act borne of loneliness, as Pam had thought. Eric had chose her, stalked her and took her life. But I just couldn't muster up the least bit of rage or contempt. Whatever I was feeling about Eric's decision to take Pam's life, it was a shadow of what I was feeling about his willingness to share this piece of information with me. He knew I thought he was a killer and that angered him, though I wasn't really sure why. (he had called himself such before.) He could easily have just ignored or dismissed my view but he didn't. He explained to me why he chose Pam, why he turned her, even though I hadn't asked. He knew there was a chance I might be repulsed when he told me, that I would pull farther away from him and that would have been the exact opposite of what he was wanting from me. He had allowed himself to be in a position of vulnerability with me, at least on an emotional level. I felt like a big strobe light was flashing in my head. This was huge.

With a start, I realized he was waiting for me - waiting to see how I would receive this token he had given me, this piece of himself. He wasn't holding his breath, because he didn't breathe. But he was doing the vampire equivalent, I was sure.

I looked him full in the face and smiled. "Thank you for telling me."

He looked pleased at my reaction. "You don't find me monstrous?"

I rolled my eyes. "No more than always" I mumbled, turning back to work on my nails. I knew he heard me. I tried quite unsuccessfully to hide a grin.

There was a brief pause but then Eric burst out in rolling laughter. He stood up, stretching his long body. From my position on the floor he looked absolutely huge as I peered up at him. Was he leaving? I glanced at the clock. It was getting late but not terribly so. I felt a pang of sadness. I would miss him when he left, I realized.

"You mind if I have another drink?" he asked me. I felt my face flash with pleasure when I understood he wasn't getting up to leave. Did he notice my reaction? I hoped not. But I'd bet he had.

I pushed myself up. "I'll get it for you. I'm not being a very good hostess if you have to ask me for a refill."

I was no sooner on my feet than two strong arms caught me around the waist and spun me around. I looked up into Eric's eyes; they bored into me and his hands moved to cup my face, tilting it up. He moved very close. "I don't want you as my hostess." His voice was husky. I found my own arms linked around his neck before I even realized what I was doing. In the next moment we were sharing a long, deep and very intense kiss. In a heartbeat, every nerve in my body lit up and I felt myself melting into him. For a few moments I forgot about my stoic determination to fight back against the false emotions the blood bond created between us. I allowed myself to enjoy the warmth, the feeling of closeness. It seemed much too soon when Eric slowly and gently drew himself away from me. I couldn't take my eyes off his face. The air around us was flickering and humming with electricity. A small portion of my brain registered dead silence around us.

"The tape needs to be changed," I said softy. My voice sounded strange. As if on cue the tape in my old VCR popped out with a groaning protest from the eject mechanisms. Eric stepped back, putting some space between us. After taking a moment to make sure my legs had stopped shaking I walked over and knelt in front of the television. I pulled out tape one of Gone with the Wind, popped in tape two and hit play. Eric's presence was very strong just behind me.

Without warning my own body decided to embarrass me by letting out a little rumble deep inside. I shut my eyes, hoping beyond hope that Eric hadn't caught that.

He had, of course. Vampire hearing for the win!

"I've kept you from dinner," he stated, sounding concerned. I stood up, shaking my head.

"No you didn't. I ate earlier. Probably just snack time." I shrugged. I had some fresh fruit in the refrigerator I could grab, but right now I needed something else. "I'll be right back."

I turned away and walked down the hall to the bathroom. Nature's call wasn't urgent but I needed a moment to regroup anyway. I found myself pushing my hair back with my fingers again and again. What was happening to me? I finished up, washed my hands in the sink and took a quick check in the mirror. I gasped when I saw my reflection. I looked pretty, I noticed pleasantly. The warmth from the fire - or perhaps from Eric's kissing expertise - had infused my skin with a pink glow and my eyes were clear and bright. I looked rosy and healthy. And very happy.

Uh oh.

Admittedly, there was something different about Eric tonight. And I don't mean in a bad way. It was nearly like I had Cursed Eric with me again, the way we were sitting around laughing and talking. But in another way he was still the Normal Eric, the one with many lifetimes of memories, the one that remembered all his power and control and who knew he was too sexy for his shirt. But Normal Eric wouldn't ever have considered giving up any part of that control, especially not to a human woman. And Cursed Eric had the luxury of not even knowing what it was he was giving up so it had been easy for him to offer it freely. Nope. What I had on my hands right now was a different Eric altogether; some bizarre hybrid between Eric the Cursed and Eric the Normal.
Maybe this could be....
I could barely bring myself to even acknowledge the words that popped into my head.
My Eric.

Whoa.

I shook my head, gathered myself and opened the door. I walked back down the hall and saw part II of Gone with the Wind had already started. I heard the microwave beep from the kitchen and a moment later Eric strode back in with a bottle of blood in one hand and a little bowl of grapes in the other. He handed me the bowl with a smile. I managed a small 'thank you' and watched as Eric lowered himself back onto the rug in front of the fire. He looked up at me expectantly, then turned back to the TV.

"What did I miss?" he asked, taking a big drink of blood and licking his lips.

I parked myself beside him in something of a daze. I looked down at the little bowl in my hands and popped a grape into my mouth.

Whoever this Eric was, I found I was really, really starting to like him.

Chapter Four


I found that watching Eric's reactions to Gone with the Wind was almost as entertaining as the movie itself. He was soaking it up like a sponge, tossing out questions here and there and listening intently to my answers. Not at all to my surprise he liked Rhett Butler, the bold and dashing rogue of a hero. We had settled into an easy banter void of expectation and innuendo and I was enjoying myself more than I would have thought was possible. A few times I even found myself reaching out and touching Eric's arm or hand as we talked and laughed, such was the aire of companionship that was forming between us.

After my little epiphany concerning Eric's sudden change in behavior towards me (the words 'my Eric my Eric my Eric' were still pounding through my head like drums of battle) I had decided to just let things roll for a bit and see what happened. I mean, people can change, right? (people in this case meaning vampires, of course) Every day people do extraordinary things for often times unfathomable reasons; they start working out, they leave bad relationships or stop smoking. What kind of cynical person would I be if I dismissed Eric outright? And there was the little part of my heart that reminded me that I did have a very real affection (and attraction) for Eric. My brain however- the rational part of me, I suspected - told me I was being a complete idiot and needed to stop daydreaming. The trump card in the whole tangled mess was that Eric was a Vampire with layers upon layers of motivations that were completely foreign to me.

Right now I was happy to set aside all those considerations - both the good and the bad - and just enjoy the evening with a gorgeous male who had known me inside and out, saved my life on countless occasions and who really seemed to 'get me'. Maybe I was lost in in lala land, but hey, everyone enjoys a trip once in a while.

It was only about twenty minutes into tape two when a reality check landed smack on top of our evening in the form of a phone vibrating in Eric's pocket. He pulled it out in one of those vampiric quick motions that was almost too fast for me to see. He glanced and the number and stood up swiftly, then looked back down at me where I was still sitting on the floor in front of the fire. He had an almost apologetic expression; I'm sure he remembered my earlier jab about his always being stuck to his phone with his peeps.

"I have to take this call," he told me. "Shouldn't be long."

I nodded and stood up myself, stretching my legs. I tried not to be irritated about the phone thing. Eric was what he was, after all: Sheriff of Area five. I'd never specifically asked, but from what I knew about vamps in general they were always more or less on-call to those above them in their odd hierarchy. I wondered absently if Eric ever got vacation days.

My little bowl of grapes was empty (I guess I was hungrier than I thought) and I carried it with me as I walked over to the VCR and hit the pause button. Eric had flipped open his phone and walked about halfway down the hall. I wasn't sure if he was wanting privacy for the call or if he was trying to escape the distraction of the TV. With his ridiculously good hearing I suspected it was more of a privacy thing. Vampires and secrecy went together like peas and carrots! I smiled to myself. Forrest Gump was one of my favorite movies.

I felt awkward just standing there trying not to listen in on Eric's call so I headed into the kitchen and rinsed out the bowl, leaving it in the sink to wash later. I turned and leaned against the counter for a few minutes to collect my thoughts. One of the last scenes we watched was when Scarlet shot and killed a Yankee soldier that had broken into her home. It hit the mark a little too closely for me, with the fast approaching anniversary of the night I had shot and killed an intruder of my own. Of course I hadn't had a choice, and I would most certainly be dead now at the hands of Debbie Pelt if not for Eric and his uncanny ability to shield me from flying bullets.

I shook myself out of my reverie and headed back to the other room. Eric, still engaged on his call, was leaning back against the wall in the darkened hallway, head tilted down speaking quietly into the phone. His strong form was in silhouette from the lights in the living room and I took a moment to just enjoy the view, letting my eyes drift, admiring his broad chest and strong arms, long legs. I found my gaze lingering a bit at areas south of Eric's face. Definite eye candy, I was thinking to myself as a warm rush of lusty thoughts popped into my head. Was it getting hotter in here or what?

With some effort I pulled my eyes back up and had a definite Oh Shit Moment when I saw Eric was looking me dead in the face, a little smirk on his lips. Oh, hell. Busted! I felt color flood into my face. But then Eric, never removing the phone from his ear and never missing a beat in his conversation, pushed himself away from the wall, tossed his head back, shaking his hair around like Fabio in a shampoo commercial. He turned his back to me, striking a very male-model-like pose with one hip cocked to the side and his free hand reaching back to rest lightly on that award winning butt he knew I liked so much. He turned his head and looked at me over his shoulder, cocking an eyebrow and giving me a look that was pure sex. He topped it off with a wink and a grin and then resumed his previous position leaning back against the wall.

I couldn't not laugh, and once I started I had to turn around and put my hand over my mouth to stifle the giggles out of respect for the person on the other end of the phone, whoever that might be. I shook my head. Eric was a crack-up, yes indeed.

I was still grinning when I picked up the poker and stabbed a bit at the fire just to occupy my hands while I waited for Eric to finish up with his vamp business. I had already put on the last log but there were more stacked up outside near the porch. Since I had a few minutes, I figured I might as well stock up. I bent over and grabbed up the heavy work gloves I kept near the fireplace, the ones I used to carry logs from outside. I pulled on an old work jacket that was hanging on the coat rack near the door and glanced at Eric, pointing at the empty log rack to let him know where I was going. He nodded at me, raising one finger to let me know he would only be a little longer. I stepped into a pair of neon green plastic slip-on shoes I kept near the door for yard work and headed outside.

The chill hit me pretty hard. I shivered, seeing my breath in the air. Maybe snow really was on the way. I had gathered up 4 small logs and was reaching for a fifth when I heard footfalls on the gravel behind me.

"Sookie," said a cool and familiar voice.

Bill had been being polite by making noise as he approached. He could be swift and silent as can be but he knew I didn't enjoy being surprised, especially at night.

"Bill," I acknowledged him with a small smile. Though our 'friendship' (for lack of a better word) was still strained, it had gotten better over the past few months. It seemed as though time did in fact heal wounds, though I was pretty sure some of the injuries he inflicted on me would forever leave a scar, leave me forever changed. He made it no secret he was ready and willing to resume our previous relationship if I ever wanted to do so. As of right now, I was pretty positive I would never be able to go there again with him.

"I saw your lights on," he said, looking me up and down with a small smile. I knew I must look ridiculous standing out in the night air in blue flannel pajamas, green shoes and a ratty jacket. I didn't care, I certainly wasn't worried about fashion at this point. Bill reached towards me. "Let me help you carry those inside."

I winced inwardly. Bill and Eric together in my house? No, wasn't gonna happen. Not tonight.

"It's okay, I got it," I told him, hoping I didn't sound ungrateful for his offer.

"What are you doing tonight? I saw Amelia and Octavia leave earlier." His tone was light but I could hear the ring of hope in the question; hoping that I'd do the polite thing and invite him inside. Again, wasn't gonna happen.

"I'm just watching a movie is all," I told him, which was in fact the truth. Not that I had anything to hide as far as Eric being over. It was really none of Bill's business who I chose to spend my time with, but I didn't want to create unnecessary drama if I could avoid it. Plus I was freezing and really, really wanted to get back inside.

"Would you like company?" he asked quietly.

I was trying to find a politically correct way to disengage from this mess when Bill's expression suddenly changed. One second he was looking at me and then his eyes grew cold and raised to peer over my head. I didn't have to turn around to know Eric had made his presence known. Wonderful.

"She has company," Eric's voice, sounding deeper than usual, came from behind me.

The two Vampires acknowledged each other with a polite if not a little bit perfunctory greeting. I decided the situation was well on it's way to getting uncomfortable and I was still freezing so I took this as my cue to bail. I looked at Bill. He was absolutely white and very still.

"Eric stopped by tonight to drop off something from the King, and..."

"Of course," Bill interrupted me, straightening his back. "I'm very sorry to intrude." For just a flash of a second I thought I saw pain in his eyes, but then it was gone. Bill was very good at keeping his thoughts from showing on his face. (Too good, I thought miserably.) I figured he would leave then, but instead he stepped in very close to me, touching my arm with one cool hand. He looked me in the eye and whispered so low I could barely hear him. "Please be cautious. If you need me, I won't be far." Then he took two steps back, looked back up at Eric, inclined his head formally and disappeared into the darkness.

What was that all about? Be cautious? Of what, I wondered. Of Eric? Wow. This from the very vampire that told me on more than one occasion that if anything were to happen to him, I should go to Eric and place myself under his protection.

I shook my head. It was too darn cold to stand outside and worry about what Bill may or may not be thinking. I turned and almost ran back to the house. Eric was holding the door open for me and as I stepped inside he immediately took the bundle of logs from my arms and piled them neatly in the rack. I slipped off the shoes and gloves and Eric assisted me with my coat. (Not that I needed assistance but it was a nice gesture) I went over to fire and held out my hands appreciating the warmth. Eric stood behind me and rubbed his hands up and down my arms. It felt good.

"I would have gotten that for you," he told me.

"Thanks, but it was just something to do. I was trying to be polite and let you finish your conversation without an audience." I paused, trying to decide if I should ask my next question. Normally I didn't ask much of Eric about vamp dealings, mainly because he didn't offer much and most times I didn't really want to know any more about vampire stuff than I had to. But, I reminded myself, this was a different Eric - or so it seemed. I decided yes, go for it. "Nothing is wrong, I hope?" Okay, I guess it wasn't exactly a question but to my surprise Eric answered me immediately.

"I don't believe so," he stated. He was still rubbing my arms but the movement had slowed somewhat. It still felt good. "We have a phone chain, all the area Sheriffs. We call one another nightly to check in and exchange necessary information. The chain isn't to be broken, especially now when things are still so...tenuous."

I nodded. Bill explained some of this to me the night of the Nevada takeover.

"You really don't get much time to yourself, do you?" I asked softly, voicing my earlier thoughts.

Eric considered. "It's better, now, since I have Pam with me. Before I opened Fangtasia I was running the area alone and there was no one I could fully trust to handle my affairs."

"You could have made her come help you before, right? I mean, since you're her maker she has to do what you say, right?"

Eric's hands went suddenly still though he didn't move them from my arms. I cringed inside. I wondered if I had finally overstepped the bounds in this whole give-and-take thing we seemed to have going. I turned to him, raising a hand.

"Sorry, that's really none of my business," I told him.

There was a substantial pause and Eric regarded me. He appeared to be making a decision. He shook his head.

"There are some Vampires that regard their children as property but I am not one of them. Pam is free to go her own way at any time, though I think she is content here. She is part owner of Fangtasia and several other lucrative business interests."

Eric's tone had a distinct and almost defensive edge. I had a feeling there was more to it than he was letting on. And he had dropped his contractions, usually a sign he was being very careful. I hoped I hadn't offended him.

"She told me she was happy when you called her to work for you. And I've heard you have a reputation as a decent boss."

Eric's brow raised. "You've been asking about me?" There was a slight smile now.

"No. That information was volunteered. I also heard you're no softy. That part was soooo hard for me to believe." I smirked at him and he laughed out loud. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. I didn't resist. I mimicked the gesture, reaching around him and then laying my head on his silent chest. I closed my eyes enjoying the way he smelled, the way he made me feel small as I was enveloped by his massive frame. He bent his head and I felt his cheek caress my hair.

"Who told you I wasn't soft?" he asked suddenly, a tease in his voice. "Not that I'm disagreeing, of course."

I stayed right where I was in his embrace when I answered. I had absolutely no desire to move.

"Felicia. She came into Merlottes one night as a joke. Well, it was Pam's joke. Pam told her she had to beg me for mercy so she wouldn't end up dead like the other bartenders at Fangtasia."

Eric chuckled. I liked the way the sound made his chest vibrate. He raised one hand to stroke my hair. It was sheer bliss. I sighed.

"And did you grant her your mercy, my most dangerous lover?"

"I shook my head against his chest. "I told her Pam was playing a game with us. I told her none of those deaths were my fault."

"Ah, but that is not entirely accurate is it?" Eric pushed me away and looked into my face. He was radiant. I was ridiculously happy which probably meant he was, too. It took me a moment to gather enough sense to fully register what he was saying and when I did I felt a little pang of hurt.

"Well, I was there when they all died, but I hardly think I had any control over it!" I mustered up as much indignation as I could, band right then that wasn't a whole lot at all.

Eric traced the line of my face with a finger. "Do you remember what I told you about Longshadow's maker?"

Huh? I had to think about that one. Hot Rain was his name, yes I remembered now. And he had sent one of his minions, Charles, to find me and kill me, as retribution against Eric for killing his child.

"I remember," I said slowly. "But it still wasn't my fault Charles died. He was trying to kill me. To get back at you, I might add!"

Eric looked at me with warmth in his eyes. "Yes, because he knew your death would hurt me as no other. Hot Rain had such affection for his child. They had an intimacy that went beyond the physical. He heard, and I don't know how, that I had that same connection with you. That was before our blood bonding in Rhodes, you realize?"

I actually shuddered when he spoke the words. No doubt Eric noticed my reaction. His eyes were practically blazing with emotion. I knew what he was getting at with this conversation.

"Still not my fault," I said very quietly, side-stepping the obvious implications. I managed a small smile. "Maybe it would be safer if you kept your affections to yourself."

"Oh, I have tried."

I wasn't sure I could speak even if I had some way to reply to that. My heart was pounding and I knew Eric could hear every beat. We stood there together, just looking at one another, for I don't know how long.

"I want you to ask me, lover" he said at last. The words came out clear and strong though he was speaking barely above a whisper.

Somehow I managed to find my voice. "Ask you what?" I sounded more than a tad shaky.

Eric smiled down at me and stepped in close once again, his hands touching my sides just above my waist. "I'm not going to try to seduce you. I'm not going to try to convince you of what you want or what you feel. You are your own, Sookie, you have made that very clear many times. If you decide you want me, all you have to do is ask."

With that, he kissed my forehead, turned and walked across the room to the VCR. He hit play and Gone with the Wind started up again while I stood shock still and utterly bowled over with a plethora of emotions. He sat on the couch, leaning back against the cushy arm. He tossed one leg up and onto the cushions and made a beckoning movement with his hand towards me. Without conscious thought, like I wasn't even in control, my body moved itself forward and I sat down right next to him, pulling my legs up toward my chest. Eric's arm circled me and I leaned back against him, melting into his embrace. His free hand idly stroked my forearm and I found it extraordinarily soothing.

For someone who was allegedly not trying to seduce me, he was doing a pretty good job of accomplishing just that.

Chapter Five


We were about halfway through tape two when I felt my mood begin to spiral downhill. It had nothing to do with my company, who was on his best behavior, or my current position, which was curled up into the arms of said company.

"You're upset."

I closed my eyes. Thanks Eric, for reminding me about our bond. As if I could forget. Oh, yes. I was getting irritable, most assuredly.

"I don't like the end of this movie," I answered honestly, trying hard to keep my voice light.

"Why?"

I shrugged. "It's not a happy ending. Scarlet...well, I don't want to give it away, but she destroys her own happiness. She really screws up." As much as I enjoyed Gone with the Wind, the last hour or so always got to me. Scarlet has her head so far up Ashley's butt she never could see how much she really loved Rhett until it was too late and he leaves her. Plus Melanie and poor little Bonnie die. Even the stupid pony gets shot. Depressing. Every gal has a movie that makes her cry no matter how many times she watches it and Gone with the Wind was one of mine.

"Would you rather not watch any more?" Eric sat up a little and I took the opportunity to reposition myself, nut only slightly. I was content as could be sitting as I was, leaned up against Eric's chest on the couch. It felt nice to be held.

"No, it's okay. I've seen it a hundred times. I think I will go grab a drink, though. Want one?"

"Thank you, but I'm fine. For now."

I felt his fingers stroke my neck as he disengaged his arm from around me as I stood up. I smiled to myself. Very subtle, Viking.

I picked up my empty iced tea glass on the way to the kitchen. I didn't bother with the light; I could navigate the house blindfolded. I opened the refrigerator and removed the plastic pitcher of sweet tea in the door and filled my glass. I took a quick drink before I turned and headed back to Eric. I found him standing to one side of the window, looking out with his brows drawn together.

"Something wrong?" I asked him.

He didn't move for a moment, and when he turned back to me his face had completely relaxed.

"Thought I heard something."

"Probably Bill," I told him quietly as I plopped back down on the couch. Eric had paused the tape. "He wanders around a lot at night."

"So I noticed earlier," he replied quietly. He came over and sat down by me, leaning forward, placing his forearms on his knees, and looked straight ahead. "What did he say to you earlier before he left?"

I winced. He had caught that, huh? I should have figured he would.

"He just said he'd be close by if I needed him." I shrugged and tried to sound casual.

Eric didn't reply, just kept looking ahead. I took a sip of my tea.

"Charles told me he caught Bill outside your house the night of the fire."

I nodded. "Yep. Bill said he was just checking on me, but.." I felt my cheeks color a bit. "I think he had just caught the scent of a strange vampire and he wanted to..."

Eric interrupted me, looking at me sideways. "Check out the competition?" He chuckled. "I bet he was furious."

"Well, he wasn't happy."

Eric's smile faded a bit. "Bill has very acute senses, even for a vampire."

That took me back a little. Eric rarely - if ever - complimented Bill. (or anyone else for that matter) There was really nothing I could say to that.

"Want me to start up the movie again?" I asked casually, starting to rise. Eric stopped me by grabbing my hand.

"We can finish it later."

"Do you need to go?" I asked, doing my very best to keep my voice neutral. Inside, though, I felt the now-familiar tug of sadness grip me.

Eric shook his head. "Not necessarily. In fact," he added smoothly, "I would much prefer to enjoy your company while I have the opportunity. But I would rather your mood not be soured."

I couldn't help but smile. It's nice to know someone appreciates you, even if that person would most definitely appreciate you far more if you were naked. I leaned back against the couch, feeling suddenly cold. Eric was still leaning forward away from me. I found myself wishing he would reach out and hold me again. I wasn't about to let him know that, though.

The silence dragged for a bit.

"How is Pam doing?" I finally questioned. I knew it sounded lame, but it was the best thing I could think of to fill the tangibly quiet air between us. Eric knew what I was trying to do, of course, and called my bluff. He leaned back, propping one ankle on top of his other knee. He rested one arm on the end of the sofa, and stretched the other one out along the top. He had a long reach, and my old couch wasn't very big. His hand played with my hair. I felt an actual rush of pleasure at the little touch. Lord, was this pathetic or what?

"Do you really want to talk about Pam?" he asked me, raising his eyebrows. He was amused, oh yes.

"Not really," I answered, sliding my eyes down to the glass of the tea I was clutching with both hands on my lap. "I'd rather.." I stopped. I knew exactly who I would like to talk about, but I was really not sure I wanted to broach the subject.

I could feel Eric's gaze as he waited for me to continue. I was still trying to decide if honesty would be the best course of action here.

"If you don't tell me what you'd rather do than talk about Pam I'm afraid I'm going to assume you want to perform a very exotic dance for my viewing pleasure." He looked around the room with a calculating expression. "I'd be happy to move the furniture out of the way if you require more room."

He never quit. Ever. I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Sorry to disappoint you, but that's not exactly what I was going to say."

"Enlighten me?"

Ok, here goes nothing.

"I would rather...I would like to talk about you, if you want to know the truth." I raised my eyes to his face. I felt like a complete idiot.

Eric grinned. "Are you just trying to bolster my male ego?"

"Hardly. First of all, your ego doesn't need any bolstering. Secondly, I don't know much about you." That was surely the truth. What I truly knew about Eric Northman could be listed on one page of paper. Wide ruled. Double spaced.

Eric regarded me quietly. I turned my eyes downward again and took a sip of my iced tea. I was kicking myself. There had been several times I had been tempted to ask Eric about his life, specifically his human life, but I'd always decided against it. It never seemed to be the right time, and vampires could get mighty touchy about some things. I should have just left it alone. I shouldn't have said anything about the stupid movie being depressing, I shouldn't have gotten up to get this darn tea. I was perfectly fine in Eric's arms, feeling warm and comfortable. Now I was clutching a cold glass, I was being not held, and I was certainly no longer feeling the least bit comfy. As a matter of fact I was about as uncomfortable as I could get with those blue eyes on me and who knows what thoughts going on behind them.

The silence became pronounced and I risked a glance back at Eric. He was looking away from me, staring intently at the window. I hoped he wasn't trying to hide his amusement at my curiosity. I looked down once again and felt my embarrassment start to morph into irritation with outright anger on it's heels. This was ridiculous. Why should I feel bad about asking Eric to tell me a little something about himself, anyway? We had been lovers once, and according to Eric he wanted to be so again. I had already made the mistake of falling for one man I didn't know nearly as well as I should. I have every right in the world to ask questions of...

"What do you want to know?" Eric asked suddenly, completely derailing the really good mental rant I had going. I had to take a second to regroup.

"I don't know, Eric. Lots of things. I want to know about your life before, before you were a vampire. I want to know how a Viking wound up running a bar in Louisiana, of all places. I know you all get real touchy about that kind of thing, and you don't have to tell me. It's not a big deal. But you asked." I shrugged, trying to sound unconcerned. I met his eyes and there was no hint of amusement there, or anger, thank heavens. He looked concerned, actually. I flushed. My emotions were still on a roller coaster ride; I knew he was picking up on it.

He removed his arm from the back of the couch and patted his leg.

"Lay down, lover," he told me in a gentle voice.

Alrighty, this was a new one. But I found I simply couldn't resist. I wanted to be close to him again. I sat the glass of tea down on the closest table and then lay down across the couch, putting my head on Eric's leg and pulling my feet up until I was in a comfortably elongated fetal position. Eric reached behind me and pulled the old afghan from the back of the couch and laid it over me. Then he stroked my hair and I closed my eyes.

"I don't like it when you're frightened of me," he said softly.

"I'm not," I protested, but it was pretty weak, even to my ears. I was very, very content at the moment. Eric's caress was like a soothing balm. I felt all my negativity slipping away and I had no desire to hold onto it.

"But you were, just now." he told me. His deep voice was gentle but very, very certain. Had I been scared? I didn't think so. I had had a range of other emotions but fear wasn't one of them. Was it? Eric was pretty good at this blood bond, he had been able to pinpoint my emotions accurately on more than one occasion. I thought hard, even though my inner cavewoman was annoyed that I was letting Eric's certainty of my feelings undermine my own. As I considered, a lightbulb suddenly blinked on in my head.

Dammit.
He was right.
Again.

"I guess I was frightened," I admited slowly. "Not of you, exactly, but I was afraid you wouldn't want to talk to me." My voice was little more than a whisper but he heard every word, I had no doubt. As I said the words, I knew for sure I was speaking the truth. I really, truly did want to know about Eric, my sort-of friend and former ...whatever. I wanted to understand him, or at least try to. It frightened me very much that I would never get that chance. He could shut me down without saying a word. Literally.

"You think I wouldn't talk to you?" Eric sounded surprised. "I told you, I remember how we lay in front of that fire and you told me about your life. I enjoyed it, very much. I remember everything you said. I've thought about our conversations many times."

I smiled, but sadly. "But all those times, it was always me doing the talking; me telling you about my life. It was never the other way around." Well, of course not. He had been cursed and didn't even know his own name until I told him. But still, it was one-sided.

Eric's fingers picked up a piece of my hair and he twirled it in his fingers idly. I couldn't see his face, lying down the way I was, but he...well, he felt thoughtful. Yikes. I think I was getting better at the bond thing.

"I was the second of four children," he began, his voice somewhat distant, "and the only son to survive infancy. My father was a skilled fisherman. He taught me the trade, as his father taught him."

That surprised me. I would surely have pegged Eric as a fighter. I smiled. Eric was back to stroking my hair.

"You weren't really a Viking, then?" I asked tentatively.

"Of course I was," Eric said, not a little on the defensive side. "My homeland was what is now considered Sweden."

"Sorry, sorry," I hurried to explain. "It's just that in the movies Vikings are always out on those big ships with the dragon heads, wearing lots of fur and those helmets with the horns, and carrying big swords. You never see one with a fishing pole." I was trying to make a joke, lighten the mood. I knew it had worked when I felt Eric's body shake a little with quiet laughter.

"All Viking men were warriors first and foremost. But we all had skills in other areas, as well. Farmers, merchants, fishermen. We were taught fighting skills and weaponry at a very young age. We made ourselves ready to fight so we could provide or defend what we needed to survive" He paused a moment and his hand stopped moving on my hair. "I was a strong warrior," he almost whispered.

"You still are." I turned my head slightly to look up at him. He looked down at me and smiled just slightly. His eyes seemed to be seeing something far,far away. I turned my face back away from him and nuzzled against his thigh while I pulled the afghan up farther around my shoulders.

"Were you married?" I asked him, keeping my voice conversational. He moved his hand from my head and instead began to slide his hand up and down my arm slowly. Even feeling his strong touch through the afghan made me feel secure.

"I was. My people married quite young. Life expectancy for men was half what it is today, and even less for women. Childbirth claimed many lives, my mother included."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, though I felt somewhat silly. It was a pretty extreme case of belated condolences.

"My elder sister ran the household when she was gone."

"Did you and your wife have children?" I asked, hoping to move on to happier subjects. I was becoming more fascinated by the minute, though there was a certain sadness hearing Eric talk about his human life. Everything and everyone he had known was long gone.

"She bore me three children, though one did not survive his first winter."

He must have noticed how my body stiffened with shock. I'd heard the loss of a child was the worst pain a person could ever suffer. So much for my attempts at a happier subject.

"It wasn't unusual then. Medicines were few and we lived in a harsh environment. Infant mortality was a fact of life. My surviving children, a son and a daughter, were very strong." He paused momentarily. "I was quite proud of them. The boy was already showing unusual ability with the sword by his seventh birthday. The girl was obedient and very fair. Her mother and I often talked of the day we would have to acquire guard dogs to keep potential suitors at a safe distance."

I smiled. I found it odd the way he spoke of his family. The boy, the girl, her mother. He never said their names. I wondered briefly if he even remembered them, but then chided myself for such a thought. Eric would not forget. But I did wonder if he wished he could.

"What happened to you?" I asked him softly. He knew what I meant. He was back to stroking my hair. I was back to wondering if this was a conversation I really wanted to have. Eric paused for a long while before he answered.

"The men in our area were called to assist when a neighboring district was falling under attack. The final battle lasted long after dark descended. In the end we were able to repel the raiders but it cost many lives. I was one of only a few that survived the night." Eric's paused and his voice took on a hardened edge when he continued. "I stayed for several days to assist with disposal of the dead and rebuilding. On the night before I was to return home, while I slept, I was attacked, drained and buried. I awoke in the ground many nights later. It was winter and very cold. Snow and ice covered every inch of earth. I dug myself out of my grave and found I had no knowledge of the area where I had been taken. What was left of my clothes was soaked red with blood but I had no memory of the one that attacked me. I rose alone. I knew I was changed; I was stronger and faster and I was nearly insane with hunger but I had no desire for food. When I came across a traveler one night on the road, I finally knew what I had become. My people had stories of blood drinking demons that walked at night. I saw myself in the legends."

I hadn't even felt myself sit up, but I was suddenly staring into Eric's expressionless face. I knew I must look as utterly stunned as I felt. I had a terrible vision of Eric, bloody and filthy, clawing his way from the dirt, lost and alone in a faraway land of snow and ice.

"Oh, Eric," I breathed. I sounded horrified and I was. "Where was..the one that turned you?"

"My sire had already moved on to secure another child, but I could feel his pull. I was compelled to move, to find him, and finally I did. The journey took five nights."

"He left you?" I couldn't imagine such cruelty. "Why would he choose you to be his child and then leave you?"

Eric's eyes flashed for a moment with anger but then the moment was gone and he resumed his calm dialogue.

"My sire wasn't looking for a companion, or a lover or even a servant. Times were very different then. Vampires were in danger much more from others of our kind than from humans. Battles raged between nests for rights over hunting areas. My sire wanted to create his own nest of warriors who would obey him without question and fight for him. The only way to insure complete obedience was through the bond between maker and child. He witnessed and admired my strength and skill in battle and decided to take me."

"And he made you fight for him?"

Eric paused a moment, then nodded. "He had a particularly violent nature. Barbaric. But the call to obey was too strong. We had no choice but to submit. I and my nestmates were weapons in his arsenal, nothing more."

I was very close to the point of wishing I had never, ever asked Eric about his life. This powerful vampire, one who had protected me, saved me and cared for me, had been in virtual slavery for God only knows how many centuries. I felt sick.

"What happened to him?" I whispered. Oh, how I hoped he had died a nasty death.

"He lives," Eric said, dashing my hoped. "He resides in Asia now, or so it says on Bill's computer database."

"When did he let you go?" I had an almost uncontrollable urge to wrap my arms around Eric and never, ever let go.

"He didn't. Our numbers grew in size and strength over the decades and we gained many victories. We held a sizable hunting area, but eventually my sire became too greedy and forced us to attack a much larger nest. We were defeated. Most of my nestmates were killed. The leader of the ones who claimed victory, a female of great power, offered my maker a deal. She told him she would allow him to live if he did three things. First, he had to leave in exile. Second, he had to swear loyalty to her and give her half his assets for one hundred years. Finally, he had to relinquish his claim on me and transfer my oath to her. She found me desirable. My maker agreed and I was forced to swear fealty to my new mistress."

I knew my eyes were about to pop out of my head. "So he sold you? To save himself?"

Eric nodded. "It was a turning point for me. My mistress was not cruel, though she was unwavering in her demands. I pleased her and eventually she released me from my service to her."

"And your maker, he never called to you again?"

"No. And if he would have tried, there would have been severe punishment. For him."

"Why?"

"This happened right around the time when our current system of governing was starting to take hold. The world we have that you so despise, with Kings and Queens," he grinned at me, "and Sheriffs evolved slowly over time to prevent our kind from slaughtering one another to extinction. My maker made a vow, and laws were in place at that time to make sure he honored it. Those few of us that have known life before the hierarchy came to power have great respect for our ruling system. It's imperfect, yes. It is sometimes unfair. But it is a far lesser evil than the lawlessness of the Old Days."

My head was swimming with all this new information. It was horrible, it was fascinating. It also explained a lot about Eric's character. His devotion to his position, to his people. His tenderness toward Pam, his child, who he dug up and held the night she rose as vampire. Even his refusal of the witch Hallow, who told Eric she would all but leave his business alone if he submitted to her lust for him for seven nights. He wouldn't be bought as a plaything again, it seemed.

I considered for a moment that there were two kinds of people in the world: Those that are wronged, and who do wrong to others in return; and then there are the strong ones, those that refuse to inflict those same wrongs on another. Eric was the latter. My heart swelled for him just then. What happened to him was so unfair, so beyond imagination. His strength, truly, was not just physical.

Eric was looking at me, his blue eyes searching my face. I laid back down, put my head on his leg. He stroked my cheek, my hair. I closed my eyes.

"Is my story-telling putting you to sleep, lover?" Eric teased me.

"No, not at all. It's just so hard for me to comprehend." That was certainly the truth.

"It was a different time. In another thousand years the way of life we have now might be considered just as barbaric." How he could be so matter-of-fact was a mystery.

"Did you ever see your family again?" I asked after a few quiet minutes.

"No. I never went back."

"Did you miss them at all?"

Eric went completely still. Uh oh. I raised my head, and saw Eric's face was hard as stone.

"I'm sorry, that didn't come out right. I didn't know if afterwards..when you were a vampire, if you still had any human feelings for your family."

Eric relaxed, just a fraction. "Yes. Human emotions don't disappear. They are eventually discarded in lieu of others that are more suited for survival as an immortal. As for my family, I took great comfort that my wife had one brother that still lived. She would have been well cared for after my death."

"He would have taken care of her?"

Eric stiffened again. "Of course. He was a man of honor. He would have taken her and the children into his household until the time of mourning had past and another suitable mate could have been found for her."

Having an honorable brother must be a nice thing. Not that I would know.

"It's so tragic, Eric." I knew I sounded melodramatic but didn't care.

He traced his fingers up and down my neck under my hair. "Do not pity me, Sookie. Of all the things I want you to feel for me, pity is not one of them."

I smiled. I decided right then and there to make a concerted effort to pull myself out of dark mood that had overcome me. I needed to look on the upside of the night. Eric had just told me more about himself in one evening than he had in the whole time I'd known him. I had gotten a peek into his carefully guarded life and it was an amazing thing, if not more than a little bit disconcerting.

"Alright, no pity from me, then." I sat up a bit and nuzzled my head into his shoulder. His arm wrapped around me. I turned my head and kissed him very lightly on the lips. "Thank you. I really do like talking to you."

Eric gave me a very Eric grin. "If that's the response I get from recounting ancient history for you I'll have to do it more often." His eyes gleamed and he looked cocky as hell right then. "I have a millenia worth of tales stored up in here." He tapped a finger to his temple.

I smiled up at him. "Pick some good ones. I don't think I have time to hear them all. I am mortal, remember?"

Eric laughed and bent over, kissed the top of my head.

"I could change that, so very easily."

My heart skipped a beat.

I heard the words. I heard them in my head as surely as if they'd been spoken aloud. It wasn't a real voice, not the way it was when I listened to human thoughts; It was just a hint of a whisper, but drenched with a coldness that was unmistakably vampire. And the only vampire mind around belonged to my blood-bonded former lover.

I felt my eyes go wide with horror. The words, the terrible words, repeated over and over in my head like a mantra. I sat straight up and whipped my head around to see Eric staring at me with concern.

"Sookie...?"

Without thinking, I was suddenly on my feet and across the room. Was Eric really thinking about offering to turn me? No, he wouldn't offer because he knew damn well I would never, ever want to be anything but the human I was. I had never suspected, never even really entertained the possibility that Eric would ever consider changing me; draining me, killing me! I was so naive, so stupid! All the pieces began to fall into place as I recalled the little tell-tale warning signs I surely should have seen but foolishly ignored: Quinn's statement that Eric could turn me at any time now that we were bonded, Bill's warning this very night that I should be cautious, even Eric's own words on the day he told me the news of Bill's kidnaping 'You might make a decent vampire, Sookie'.

No no no no no no!

I whirled and looked at Eric with a horrible mixture of fear and hatred in my face. I felt strangely betrayed, though I knew I shouldn't be surprised by anything anymore, not where vampires were concerned. But still...Eric! I had saved his life, he had saved mine. We had made love together. And against my better judgment I was actually starting to think he might genuinely care for me and I him. Idiot! Why can't I learn?

And the most absolutely infuriating thing was that Eric was looking at me with a blank expression, like he didn't even know what he had done to upset me. How could he sit there, looking so calm, feigning concern, while in his head he was plotting my death. Damn vamps! I shook my head at him. My voice was shaky with outrage and pain when I spoke. I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

"I heard that, Eric. I can't believe you would think such a thing," I was on the verge of hysteria. I felt like I was standing outside myself looking in. "How dare you even consider turning me into one of you?"

And as soon as I said it; the very instant the words left my lips I realized my mistake. I saw Eric's eyes go wide and I knew. I had a stomach churning moment of helplessness and inevitability; like shutting a car door and realizing just a split second too late that your keys were still inside. I spun away and faced the wall as the full extent of my mistake hit me full on.

In my fear and anger I had just foolishly given away my most closely guarded secret to one of the most powerful and dangerous vampires I had ever met.

I had never told anyone, not Bill, not Quinn, not even Claudine or Niall that I was able to sometimes catch glimpses into the minds of vampires. I kept that secret locked down and locked away because I knew what would happen if vampires ever found out- if they ever even suspected - that I could see into their thoughts.

I reached up and held my hand to my throat, terrified to turn around and face Eric. My instincts told me to run, fast and far, but I couldn't move. I could barely breathe. I began to shake. Without warning I felt myself being spun around just short of violently, and two big hands clamped down hard on my upper arms. I looked straight ahead, seeing nothing except Eric's dark shirt right in front of my face, filling my vision, as he stood just inches away. I raised my head very slowly, cautiously. I saw the pale skin on his neck come into view just above the dark fabric, I saw the strong curve of his jaw and wisps of blonde hair. I saw fangs. I lifted my head the last few inches and found myself staring into blue eyes that were so cold and hard I thought it would freeze the blood in my veins.

'Watch out,' Eric had once told me 'Or I will begin to think you can read my mind.' The warning in those words had not been lost on me.

I remember thinking that if vampires ever knew I could read their thoughts I would be drained and dead before I hit the floor.

Looking at Eric's hard face I could only pray I would be so lucky.
Chapter 6

I could feel a tangle of emotions rolling from Eric but I was far too absorbed in my own to decipher any of them with much success. Not that I needed to; his stance, his expression and his eyes told me everything I wanted to know. (or, more specifically, everything I wish I didn't know) There was rage there, oh yes. I could feel it loud and clear in the way he was gripping my arms.

"What did you hear, Sookie?" he demanded of me. His voice was deep, the words spoken slowly, heavy with his usually well-concealed accent.

I couldn't answer him. I was too far gone for words. He shook me.

"Tell me now." He wasn't yelling and somehow that made him even more frightening. I could feel a pressure inside my head; he was using every ounce of his vampire influence on me. Right then I wished he could glamour me; I really didn't want to feel what was coming.

I had a surreal moment and my mind sort of detached from my body. I wondered idly what it was going to feel like to die. I thought about Jason and wished we would have had time to make things right between us. I knew we could have, eventually. I wondered who Sam would take to his brother's wedding instead of me. I hoped Quinn found a good woman who would love him like he deserved. I thought about my little telepathic cousin and prayed he would be able to find a place for himself in this world. I thought about Bill. So much pain there. Too much...

"Sookie, answer me!" This time he did raise his voice and it snapped me back to The Moment. I blinked up at him and felt a single tear slide down my cheek. Eric lifted his chin a fraction and seemed to reign in his emotions somewhat. But he didn't let go of me, not even a little bit.

A sudden strength of purpose suddenly began to flow into me. From where it came I had no idea, but I embraced it. I resolutely decided, just then, that if I was going to die it would not be as a coward. I inhaled deeply and found my voice.

"It was after I told you I was mortal," I began, impressed with myself for how steady I sounded.

Eric's eyes narrowed.

"Tell me precisely what you heard. I want to know the exact words." He was focused on me, unblinking. I gave it right back at him.

"I can change that, so very easily."

Eric drew back from me just slightly. He growled; an actual, honest to God growl. He raised up to his full height and looked over the top of my head, staring at the window like he was trying to decipher a very complicated math problem. He didn't move a muscle for possibly twenty seconds, but in that short time I could see him processing everything that had happened, everything I had told him. I wondered if he was deciding the best way to dispose of my body. His face never changed expression but there were flashes behind his eyes and flares in his emotions that told me something was happening in there.

Well, something was happening in here, too. I just remembered I was a mortal human. And Eric, most assuredly, was not.

"Eric Northman, I rescind your invitation!"

He snapped his eyes back to mine for just a fraction of a second, then looked back up over my head just as quickly. For one terrible moment I thought I had made a mistake. He still had a grip on me; could he drag me with him when the magic forced him out my door? But before I could even worry about that I felt myself being tossed up and aside like a rag doll. I landed butt first onto the couch, hard, causing it to slide backwards about a foot. When I looked up Eric was already out the back door, which he left standing wide open. I felt the sting of the cold night air intrude on the warmth of the house and I shivered. I gathered myself after a moment, a throbbing ache swelling in my arms where Eric had seized me. I stood shakily and headed for the door meaning to slam it shut. I saw Eric standing just on the other side of the porch, his head snapping from right to left. He spun back to face me and our eyes met, then he launched himself straight up into the air and disappeared.

I didn't wait around for anything else to happen. I slammed the door and leaned against it, breathing heavily. My brain and heart were both working furiously to figure out what had just happened. No, that wasn't exactly true. I knew darn well what had happened - I had screwed up in a jumbo sized way. Maybe it was all the cozy feeling that had been building up during the night that lulled me into a false sense of security and made me so careless. I was severely disgusted with myself but self flagellation would have to wait until later.

Now that I was safely alone, I could take a minute to just think. I had to admit to myself the possibility that what I heard...well, it could have just been a stray thought. People had errant thoughts all the time, some of them absolutely terrible, but they don't necessarily act on them. Surely it's the same with vampires, right? But even if that was the case - a big if - my fate was sealed the moment I let it slip that I heard it. Bravo, Sookie.

Jesus God, What was wrong with me?

Having no answer for that question, I concentrated on what was right with me, which was that I wasn't dead. Not yet. And I knew one person that could undeniably help me stay that way.

I needed to call my great-grandfather.

Now what was that number? Oh hell! That was one I should have memorized. It was programmed in my cell phone, though. Crap crap crap! Where was my cell phone? I was very close to the edge, and I tried desperately to get a grip on myself. I needed to calm down. I closed my eyes and made a concerted attempt at slowing my racing heart. With effort, I succeeded. Okay, my cell phone was in my purse and my purse was... right, in the bedroom. Got it.

I took off down the hall and flipped on the bedroom light. I grabbed my purse off the chair in the corner and went into the bathroom and shut the door. I didn't bother rummaging through my purse to find anything, I just turned it upside down and dumped the entire contents into the sink. I snatched up the little red cell phone and flipped it open with shaking hands. The screen was blank.

I knew right then and there I would never, ever forget again to put my cell phone on the charger.

Okie dokie, moving on to plan B.

Niall's business card (my 'get out of jail free card' as I had taken to calling it) was taped inside my little address book by the kitchen phone. I cracked open the door to the bathroom and peeked out, then berated myself for being ridiculous. I high-tailed it back down the hall at a dead run and cried out when two strong arms grabbed me around the waist and spun me around. I closed my eyes involuntarily and pushed blindly but found myself locked in a vice grip.

"Sookie! Sookie! It's me!"

I knew that voice; that beautiful, cool voice. I opened my eyes and saw Bill staring at me with concern in his eyes.

"Bill," I breathed and just fell forward into his arms. I should have been more cautious, I know. It was entirely possible Eric had decided since he couldn't get to me he would make Bill do the deed. I (very) briefly considered rescinding Bill's invitation, too, but the way he was holding me I felt anything but threatened. He pulled me in close and stroked my hair, whispered words of comfort. Something inside me let go like a pressure release valve and I could not stop the tears. After a few minutes Bill gently but firmly held me away from him and looked me over with a practiced eye.

"Are you okay? Have you been hurt at all? I saw Eric and he..."

I raised my hand in a 'stop' motion and shook my head. "No, no. I'm fine, just fine." That wasn't even close to the truth, but whatever. "I think my arms are bruised," I added absently.

Bill seemed to relax immediately.

"You saw Eric?" I asked quietly. Bill's face contorted in what I can only say was anguish, but it only lasted for a heartbeat then his features relaxed again. His voice was oddly gentle when he responded.

"You don't need to worry about him, Sookie."

Ha! Like heck I didn't. I was on a Viking vampire's shit-list. I should be doing nothing but worrying!

Bill pulled me back into his arms and I felt him press his face into my hair, inhaling. The action stirred up some long-buried memories but I pushed them away. I had quite enough to deal with already.

"Come with me," Bill said, disengaging from the embrace and wrapping one arm around my waist instead. He led me to the living room and helped me into the chair. He pushed the couch back to it's proper position then knelt in front of me and raised one hand to gently wipe away a tear from my cheek.

"What happened, Sookie?" he asked me. "Eric was...I don't think I've ever seen him like that before." He focused on my face. "Or you, either."

I looked at my former boyfriend, my first love and lover. He must have witnessed Eric's sensational exit. Would it hurt to tell him the truth? Yes, it would. Or maybe not. I honestly wasn't sure. I was aware enough of my emotional state to realize I was in no condition to make what could be a life-threatening decision.

"He left?" I asked, completely side-stepping the question. Bill cupped my face in one hand and nodded.

"Yes. But you're safe here with me. I'll stay as long as I need to."

"I'm glad you're here," I said in a whisper and I meant it. This night for me had been an emotional tsunami, but something about Bill's familiar presence was keeping me from drowning. He was something solid and steady that I could see and feel and touch. He was holding both my hands in both of his now. We just sat like that together for a while.

After a time, Bill looked at me with dark eyes that were brimming with resolute tenderness. "Sookie, I meant it when I said I would die for you. I meant it when I said I would kill Victor if he ever hurt you."

"I know you did," I told him after a long pause. Where was that coming from? Why Bill would bring up the takeover mess right now was a mystery. Maybe he wanted to make sure I hadn't forgotten his dramatic speech that night. Well, no worries there. I hadn't.

"Bill!"

Eric's unexpected booming voice was loud and clear even through the door. I jumped a little when I heard him, and I reached up to put a hand over my heart. Bill patted my knee and gave me the barest hint of a smile, then stood up immediately and walked quickly to the back door and opened it. My eyes went wide. I had no idea why Eric had returned or what he was wanting with Bill. I hoped there wouldn't be a fight. There was such a difference in their ages I knew who would win and I wouldn't see Bill hurt or killed just because I couldn't keep myself out of trouble for one night. I stood up, not sure exactly what I was going to do but knowing I had to do something.

Or not.

"Did you find him?" Bill asked in a remarkably calm voice.

"I lost him about a mile out," was Eric's reply. I couldn't see his face but his tone was distinctly unhappy.

"Did he know you were following him?" Bill asked. His voice had taken on a guarded edge.

"I don't believe so. He had a good lead, especially since I took the extra time to locate you."

Alright, this conversation was a little peculiar, to say the least. I was getting the very distinct impression I was missing something here. I took a few steps toward Bill and leaned forward.

"What's going on? Who was he looking for?" I whispered. I knew Bill could hear me. I was hoping Eric couldn't.

Bill shifted his eyes to me and frowned. Then he looked back at Eric, who was standing a little way off from the house, out in the very gravel driveway he had bought for me. It seemed so long ago all of a sudden.

"You didn't tell her?" Bill asked, his tone at once incredulous and confused. There was a significant pause.

"I wasn't given the chance." An iceberg couldn't have been colder than Eric's voice.

Bill turned his gaze to me, looking very solemn. "Sookie, Victor Madden was here tonight."

I opened my mouth, closed it again. A dreadful feeling began to spread in my chest.

"How do you know?"

"I caught his scent earlier. He tried to keep it contained," Bill continued, "but I recognized it easily enough once I found the trail. That's why I came by earlier this evening. I didn't know what his purpose was in coming here and I don't trust him. I was hoping you would invite me in so I could..." he stopped. I knew what he was going to say. He didn't want to offend me.

"Keep an eye on me?" I finished for him and he nodded.

"I didn't realize Eric was already here. I told you I would be close, and I was. Eric found me in the cemetery and told me I needed to get over here right away, that I wasn't to leave you alone. He told me he was going to find Victor to..." Bill glanced back over his shoulder at Eric. "To.. ascertain his purpose in coming here." He tried, and failed, to not sound skeptical there at the end.

I was back in the chair. I didn't even remember sitting down.

"Sookie, what did you think was happening? Why are you so upset?"

I looked up at Bill with shame in my eyes. "Eric," I answered honestly. I felt a wave of anger wash through me from head to toe. Oh yes, the Viking had heard me, every word.

Bill looked from me, to Eric and back again. I knew he was trying to put it all together. Well, that made two of us.

Victor Madden had been here at my house. Had he followed Eric? Vampires were forever trailing after one another it seemed, so that wasn't such a stretch. Or was Victor looking for me? That seemed highly unlikely. But his reason for being here was secondary to the bigger question: Just how long had he been lurking around outside my house? What was doing? Spying on Eric? On me? To what end?

"Oh," I puffed as a terrible thought occurred to me. Victor may have been outside my house when I argued with Eric. And if he had been close....with his supernatural hearing... I was willing to stake my life he had heard every word, including the ones most damning. It fit. That was why Eric had taken off like the proverbial bat out of hell; why he found Bill and ordered him to stay with me.

If Eric had indeed been going after Victor I seriously doubted he was planning on just having a little midnight chat when he found him. But Eric had lost him. And now Victor Madden was running free, possibly carrying my terrible truth with him. This was so very, very bad. Could I have made any more of a mess of things? I doubted it. Okay, Stackhouse, I told myself firmly, enough with being a crying little girl afraid of the big bad vampires. What do you do when you make a mess? You start cleaning.

I knew what I had to do, first of all. I had to march myself over to that door and get some real answers from the Viking. The one who may or not may not be planning to drain me dry. The one who may or may not have been trying to protect me tonight. The one who was definitely still standing out in my driveway in the cold, banished by my say-so.

I stood up, went to the door and met Eric's eyes with as much dignity as I could muster and believe me, that wasn't a whole lot. His gaze was fierce and drilled right into me. There was a light breeze in the air and little tendrils of blond whipped around his face. He wasn't wearing his jacket because it was still in my living room. Vampire or not, he had to be freezing but you would never have been able to tell from his expression. After a long moment, he turned to Bill.

"You need to leave. I have matters to discuss with Sookie." There was no ignoring the command in that voice.

Bill took my hand gently, and leaned over to kiss me lightly on the cheek, then he was out the door. He looked none too happy. He stopped in front of Eric and gave a little formal bow from the neck, just as he had done earlier in the night. I got the impression Bill and Eric were having one of those silent conversations, like they had done the night of the takeover. Then he started moving silently into the darkness.

"Bill," I called to him, taking a step onto the porch. He stopped, and turned his face halfway back to me so I could see his profile.

"Thank you." I hoped the sincerity I felt was reflected in my voice.

Bill just nodded and disappeared into the night.

That left me alone with Eric and a violent conflict of emotions. I stepped back into the house just past the threshold. I wrapped my arms around myself against the chill, the chill that wasn't entirely from the weather. Eric was giving me one of his fixed vampire stares. I couldn't read his expression at all and, of course, there was nothing from his silent brain. Nothing.

As I considered that, another piece of the puzzle landed with a resounding thud.

"It wasn't you, was it?" I asked softly. I knew Eric could hear me and he understood what I meant. There was only the briefest pause before he answered.

"No."

I shut my eyes. So there it was. It hadn't been Eric's thought I had heard earlier. It had been Victor's. My anger had been horribly, terribly misplaced. My most carefully guarded secret had been revealed to not one, but two, powerful and dangerous vampires. I could add a couple more glaring mistakes to the growing list I had been compiling during the evening.

I opened my eyes and squeaked out a sharp gasp when I saw Eric standing right in front of me, just on the other side of the doorway he could not cross. I hadn't even heard him move.

"You can read vampire minds," he said quietly. It wasn't a question. His accent was still pronounced and he still had fang showing.

"Sometimes," I whispered. No reason trying to lie at this point.

"You are afraid." Again, not a question.

"Yes."

"You should be," he said icily. "Now let me in."

Jesus save me, I did.

Chapter Seven

I wasn't certain how long I had been sitting on edge of the couch cushions just staring at the television. I was certain it hadn't been nearly as long as it felt. I was leaned forward with my elbows on my knees and my hands clasped together in front of me. The T.V. was silent but the picture on the screen was the same as it had been when Eric had paused the tape earlier. My VCR was old and a myriad of fuzzy lines distorted the frozen image though it was still recognizable. Scarlet's face was locked in an angry scowl that looked almost comical. With everything else I needed to think about I found it amusing I would even notice such a thing.

I had taken a short trip to the bathroom earlier while Eric had made a phone call. (Pam I thought, though I didn't ask and he didn't volunteer the information) I washed my face and neck with warm water, ran a brush through my hair and even dabbed on some lipstick and blush for some who-knows-why reason. Maybe I was trying to fake myself out, thinking if I didn't look like such a wreck on the outside that my insides would follow suit. If that had been my plan, I had failed miserably. I was a mess.

Eric was off the phone now and turned away from me, standing in front of the fire silently, looking at nothing. Maybe he was simply warming himself after being outside for so long in the cold, maybe he was trying to decide the best course of action to deal with me. His face told me nothing and I certainly wasn't about to broach the subject. I was feeling almost contrite, for lack of a better word, and more than a little anxious about my future (no matter how short a future I may have now).

I turned my mind to Victor Madden, trying to recall everything I knew about him. It wasn't much, not much at all. He was ruthless, I had been told. And he was a skilled liar, as he proved the night of the coup. Amelia thought he had eyes on advancement and Eric said he wouldn't waste anything he thought he could use. That was a scary thought. Victor was also trusted by and owed the King his loyalty. And Felipe De Castro had declared I was under his formal protection now. I wondered if that edict included Victor, as well.

"A fool with a silver net," Eric said suddenly and so softly I wasn't even sure I had heard him. I didn't even know if he was really talking to me.

I lifted my head and found Eric hadn't moved. I stared at his back, confused.

"What?" I asked carefully.

Eric turned to me, then. His face looked chiseled from stone, his eyes just as hard.

"Explain what you meant by 'sometimes'" he told me.

I must have looked as addled as I felt.

"You said you could sometimes read vampire minds," he explained slowly, his voice loaded with a forced patience.

Oh, right. It took me a minute to catch up, lost as I had been in my own thoughts. I shifted a bit on the couch. There was no way around this conversation and both Eric and I knew it.

"It's only happened a few times," I told him softly. I saw his eyes narrow in suspicion. "I swear. And it's completely different from the way I can read humans and even other supes. It's just flashes and it's real quick."

"Tell me."

I took a deep breath. In for a penny, in for a pound. "The last time before tonight was at Rhodes." I hesitated but a glance at Eric's face told me to keep going. He was clearly in no mood to play the hem and haw game. "At Sophie Anne's trial, when I said I heard Henrik's lawyer's thoughts...after I had already stood up I realized I had actually been hearing Henrik." I remembered, also, that Eric had stood with me that night, silently giving me strength and protecting my back. It was only by sheer luck my talent - curse - hadn't been discovered right then. If I would have been found out, Eric most likely would have died right alongside me, being viewed as a traitor or spy or worse. I hadn't considered that before. But Eric, clearly, had cottoned onto that in seconds. His face appeared whiter, if such a thing was possible.

"That was very dangerous, Sookie."

Wow, you think?

"I know that, Eric. When I realized what had happened I was completely terrified. I never wanted to be able to hear any of you. I never wanted to be able to hear anyone, but especially not vampires! That was one of the reasons I liked Bill so much, you know. Because he was silent to me and I could relax."

Eric looked at me for a long moment. "You should have told me," he said finally.

"I couldn't," I replied, looking down at my hands.

"We are tied, Sookie!" he thundered. Eric had never raised his voice to me like that and it shook me to my core. The look on my face must have been remarkable because Eric seemed to make an effort to pull back his temper. When he spoke again his voice was more controlled but still had a definite edge. "I have....we are bound. What affects you will affect me. I know our blood bond was against your will but that is irrelevant now."

"Irrelevant...?" I sputtered, hardly even knowing what to say I was so taken aback. "This is my life, Eric!"

"And I am trying to preserve it!" He was back to yelling. "It would be a great help if you would make at least some attempt to acknowledge that fact and possibly try to assist my efforts."

We stared at one another for a long while, but finally I found I couldn't hold onto my indignation. It was hard to have an argument regarding my welfare with an individual that had taken bullets for me. As my anger seeped away, it appeared Eric's did as well.

"Tell me the rest," He said at last, his voice flat, unemotional and cold but not exactly angry anymore. I thought for a moment.

"After the trial, I picked up on Gervaise for just a second or two. It was nothing dramatic, he was just thinking about Carla and how much he liked having something others wanted."

"Have you ever heard Bill?"

I shook my head. "Never."

"Me?"

The extended silence answered that question. Eric took a step towards me. I shuddered.

"When?" he demanded. His eyes were focused on me and I couldn't look away even though I desperately wanted to.

"The night you made me come to Fangtasia to read the humans about the money that was stolen."

His brows pulled together just slightly but he made no other movement. "Tell me."

I hesitated, but only for a moment. I was afraid I'd lose my nerve if I stopped now.

"Snakes," I whispered.

Eric's eyes widened. "Snakes?" he repeated, looking dubious.

I nodded. "You were thinking you could make me do anything you wanted, anytime. You could threaten me, or someone I cared about. Your mind, it was all cold and twisting. I felt like I had been dropped into a pit of snakes." My voice dropped until it was barely audible and I lowered my eyes. "It was horrible."

Eric didn't speak again for a long while and when I risked a glance up I found him staring into the fire. I wondered if the truth had hurt him, then I pushed away the influx of concern. He shouldn't have asked if he didn't want to know.

"And you have never forgotten," he said at last, turning to face me. "Is this why you pull back from me?"

Close, but no cigar, Viking.

"I'm not stupid, Eric," I told him, defensiveness creeping into my voice. "I know there is more to you than just that flash of your mind. If I thought you were nothing but a manipulative and dangerous snake I would never have spent one second longer with you than I absolutely had to. I would never have invited you into my home and into my bed, cursed or not. And to answer your question...no, I haven't forgotten and I never will. I don't think I can."

"Will you ever not fear me, Sookie?" Something in his face made me want to lie. I chose sarcasm instead.

"You're here now, aren't you?" I was starting to rally a bit, now that I was feeling a little better about the possibility of surviving the night. He just glared at me. He was still waiting for a real answer, but I wasn't sure I was ready to offer one. My offense kicked in, masking my hesitation.

"Let me ask you something, Eric" I said. "If the situation were reversed, would you be afraid of me?"

He thought for just a moment. "Perhaps," he said simply.

I thought so.

"Have you told anyone else about these 'flashes' you get?" he changed the subject quickly, going on in a detached manner, like a cop trying to gather information from a witness about some petty crime.

"No!" I said immediately. "I've never told anyone."

"Bill?"

"No one," I said emphatically. "I was planning to take that information to my grave." I cringed inside. Okay, bad choice of words. Eric's face seemed almost amused for just a moment.

"You have kept it to yourself all this time," he mused. "Until tonight. I wonder what happened."

"I know what happened!" I did some voice raising of my own, now. I pushed my hair back with both hands. "I let my guard down. I felt happy and safe, like I always do when you're around me now. And we were having fun, at least I was. I was thinking maybe..." I trailed off, not willing to let myself think of the simple enjoyment earlier in the night. "It doesn't matter. When I heard what Victor was thinking, when I thought it was you, it snapped me back so fast I just...lost it." I sagged back into the couch feeling bone tired.

Eric looked at me thoughtfully, almost with compassion. That was a new one.

"What are we going to do about this, Sookie?" Eric asked me, though I had a feeling he already had a good idea.

"Is that a question?" I asked him, my tone sullen.

Eric actually laughed, a short bark that sounded anything but amused. "Have you rescinded Victor's invitation?"

I sucked in a sharp breath. Oh hell, had I? The night of the takeover had been such an emotional nightmare; it was still a bit of a blur. I honestly couldn't recall. Yikes.

"I don't remember," I said slowly, sounding justifiably embarrassed.

Eric's brows raised. "I know how much you despise my telling you what to do, but I would like to suggest, in the most strenuous way possible, that you do that. The sooner the better."

I couldn't agree more.

"Did you know he was here the whole time?" I asked.

Eric's frowned. "No, but I suspected. Victor calls me every night on the office phone at Fangtasia. He tried to do so tonight, but of course I wasn't there. I assumed that would arouse suspicion with the King having left so recently. And as I told you earlier, Victor does not trust me." He looked at me sideways. "So it seems you two have something in common."

That was a cheap shot, but I may have deserved it. Maybe.

"He was the one on the phone earlier?" I asked, ignoring the jibe.

"No, that was another area Sheriff in the chain. But I received a text from Pam telling me Victor had tried to reach me at the club just after nightfall."

"She told him you were coming here?" I asked hesitantly. That didn't sound like Pam.

"No," Eric answered immediately. "But Victor is nothing if not well informed. It wouldn't have taken much for him to trace me. I knew there was the possibility he would have me watched, though I didn't think he would do it himself. When Bill came by earlier tonight, I knew someone had been sent."

I sat up straight. "You've lost me. What does Bill have to do with Victor?"

Eric looked at me for a long moment. "Bill has always watched over you, that is no secret."

No, it wasn't. I nodded.

Eric continued. "I told him if he ever suspected trouble he was find a way into your house so he could protect you physically." Eric's face went dark. "He...balked."

My eyes felt like they would pop from my head. I wasn't sure what offended me more; that Eric would order Bill to weasel his way into my house or that Bill would refuse to help me if I was in danger. Eric's motives I understood, which was kind of spooky when I thought about it. He was trying to protect me by the most direct means at his disposal (Bill). But it hurt me more than it should that my ex-boyfriend would hesitate to assist me.

"He balked?" I repeated, sounding not a little bit offended.

Eric nodded, watching me closely. "He said he gave his word that he wouldn't force himself or his company on you, so he refused my order, in a way. He said he would keep watch on you, as always, but he would not intrude upon you on mere suspicion, as he felt that would be a violation of the vow he made to you. He could not be dissuaded." Eric frowned. "He said he would only insist on entry if he knew the threat was imminent. And he sounded quite insistent tonight."

"Oh," I breathed, shutting my eyes. How many times was I going to have to jump to conclusions before I learned to keep my feet on the ground? Bill hadn't been hesitant to protect me if I needed him, he had simply been loathe to break his promise to me without good cause. He had even defied Eric to keep his word. I felt suddenly and deeply ashamed at myself. I was going to have to think on this later. And I was going to make sure I didn't miss church on Sunday, either. I hoped Jesus was more forgiving to me than I had been to others.

Just then the phone rang in the kitchen. I glanced at the clock. It was past midnight and I couldn't imagine who would be calling this late. Another ring. Eric looked at me expectantly.

"I should get that," I said and headed into the kitchen to grab the phone mid-ring."Hello?"

"Hey Sookie!" said an excited voice. Amelia.

"Oh, hi. Is everything okay?" She sounded absolutely giddy.

"Oh yeah, everything is great. I'm really sorry I called so late but I wanted to let you know Octavia and I will be staying with friends tonight and I didn't want you to worry when we didn't come home."

"Oh," I said, feeling a pang of guilt. I hadn't even thought about that with everything else going on tonight. Some friend I was. "Well, thanks for calling and letting me know. You sound like you're having fun."

"Oh yeah! It's amazing! I can't believe all the people we met tonight. We hooked up with some some witches from out of state that Octavia knows. They are really powerful, Sookie. One is an absolute legend! They invited us to come along with them while they did some work and of course we couldn't say no. We're heading there now. I'll tell you all about it when I get back, okay?"

I nodded, even though she couldn't see me. "That sounds great. I can't wait to hear about it." I knew my voice sounded anything but excited.

"You okay, girl? You don't sound like yourself?"

Perceptive.

"I'm fine. I've just been a little emotional today, I guess."

"PMS? I have some pamprin up in my room if you need it."

I choked out a little giggle. How I wished bloating and cramps were my biggest problems.

"Thanks, I'll remember. Tell Octavia I said Hi. I'll see you tomorrow then."

I hung up and walked slowly back to Eric and took my previous position on the couch. I peered up at him.

"So what's going to happen?" I asked. It was the fifty thousand dollar question, of course.

A short pause. "I'm not sure," Eric told me, his eyes focusing on something distant. "There are many variables at play now, and any one of them could change in a moment."

"What are you going to do?" I asked softly, though I was really and truly dreading the answer.

"What am I going to do," Eric mused, turning away from me again and gazing into the fire which was now only a lightly flickering flame instead of a roaring blaze. "An excellent question." He glanced at me for a heartbeat. "I should bite you. I should drain you and end it, here and now. You are both a vulnerability for me and a threat, a dangerous combination. I should kill you and bring your body to Felipe De Castro and throw it at his feet. I should tell him how you betrayed us by keeping secrets and spying in our minds. It would serve not only to rid me of our bond, but also to prove to the King that my loyalty is above reproach. I have lived too long to take chances with my life now and you have put me in a very difficult situation."

I was shaking. Any warm and fuzzy feelings I had around Eric had vanished quite thoroughly. .

"There are a dozen reasons I should take your life," Eric continued in a detached way. "Every instinct I have tells me what I need to do." He turned to look at me and his eyes were blazing with deep pain. "You are a silver net, weakening me, draining my strength. I should have rid myself of you long ago."

That was a pretty comprehensive explanation and I felt chilled from the inside out. But his words and his actions were polar opposites and I was filled with both dread and utter confusion. He made no move toward me, his fangs were retracted. So was he going to kill me, or not? I really, really hoped not, but I was tired of playing this game. I felt like one of those people in a bad action flick, where the evil arch nemesis takes the time to taunt his victim before doing them in.

"Why haven't you done it already then?" I asked him directly, though my voice was shaking. "Why did you come here tonight and act like you cared anything about me if I'm such a hassle to you?"

"You think my caring for you is an act?" He sounded genuinely offended.

"You hate feeling attached," I continued, ignoring his comment. "Pam told me. And you told me yourself you didn't like having feelings. So why did you even bother giving me blood in Rhodes when you knew we'd have this tie? You were perfectly happy just looking out for yourself, not caring about anyone else and now you've lost that, or so you say. You were strong and focused, and according to what you've said, I've taken that from you, too."

Eric's eyes were blazing hot and wild. "No," Eric told me, his voice clearly angry. He took a deliberate step towards me.

"If I allow something to be taken from me, then I am a coward. If I allow myself to lose something then I am a fool." He took another step, his eyes almost on fire. "When I gave you my blood, I did so willingly. When I swore an oath to risk my life to protect yours, I did so willingly. When I...." he stopped, closed his eyes and seemed to gather himself. "I knew my life would change. I knew I would be bound to you and your life and that I would feel compelled to take risks on your behalf. I knew my independence, as it was, would be tested. I knew the consequences, but make no mistake, Sookie, I chose to make that sacrifice."

"Why?" I breathed, shaken to my core by Eric's admonition. It was the one question I needed answered. The only one that mattered right then.

Eric regarded me for a long moment. "I'm not sure, yet."

Well, there was some brutal honesty back at you, Sookie Stackhouse.

I looked down, feeling the shame creep back up my spine. I hadn't considered the burden our bond had placed on Eric, I had been far too engrossed in my own feelings to see much else. I could add selfishness to my list of accolades. I lifted my eyes back to Eric.

"Is it very hard for you?" I asked. "Our bond?"

"I find myself preoccupied many times. It is one reason I maintained distance from you while I was hosting the King. I couldn't afford any distractions."

"Did that work?"

Eric had a ghost of a smile on his face. "Not as well as I would have liked."

I lowered my eyes again. "I know how you feel," I mumbled and I heard Eric burst into laughter.

"I wasn't trying to make a joke, here," I told him, irritation clawing up my back.

"We are such similar creatures, you and I," he told me, humor still evident in his words.

Now it was my turn to laugh, but just a little. I had a feeling he wasn't talking about hair color and as far as I was concerned that was where out similarities began and ended.

Eric walked over and sat down on the table in front of the couch, directly in front of me, and regarded me for a moment.

"Why did you save me the day the Pyramid was destroyed?"

I felt like I was starting to get whiplash just trying to follow the subject changes.

"What else could I do?" I asked, taken aback.

Eric's brows raised. "You could have run outside to safety like everyone else did that had a chance."

"I couldn't leave you and Pam to die."

"It was a foolish risk. If you hadn't been able to wake me, you would have died that day." He was speaking softly, and I could read nothing from his tone.

"But you did wake up." After some serious screaming and slapping on my part, but whatever worked. He was right, of course. In retrospect it was a pretty stupid thing to do. It was like my whole sense of self-preservation had flown right out the window. (Literally, as it turned out) "But I wasn't the only one taking crazy chances in Rhodes," I reminded him. "I recall a certain vampire trying to take a bomb away from me." I tried to smile a little.

"Unsuccessfully," he said, not sounding happy. "I could list many other incidents in which you and I have taken what could be viewed as suicidal gestures in regards to one another. And now, tonight, you told me - and, though inadvertently, Victor - that you are more dangerous than anyone had realized."

"What's your point here, Eric?" I was feeling exasperated.

"If you and I don't come to an understanding and deal honestly with our tie, one or both of us will eventually end up in a situation that we won't walk away from."

"I think I'm already there," I replied softly.

Eric considered for a moment. "Possibly."

I cringed. "Do you think Victor would really," I could barely put it into words. "Would he really try to turn me? Or will he just kill me?"

Eric leaned back. "Victor has risen quickly through the ranks and make no mistake on this: he has ambition like few others I've ever seen in my long life. As I told you, you are too unique to waste so I doubt he will actually try to kill you. He is good at reining in his temper, especially if he believes you can be of value to him at some point."

He paused, and I could feel something akin to panic begin to bubble up inside me. Eric must have felt it, too, because he changed his tone to something lighter as he continued. "Sookie, I doubt he would make an attempt on you - in any form - anytime in the near future. You are in the King's favor now and the weight of his decrees cannot be underestimated. Also, custom demands that he not attempt to take by force or coercion anything that is..." he paused, and I could have sworn Eric the Viking looked abashed for just a fraction of a second. But then he steadied himself and raised his head marginally. "Anything that is the lawful property of another Vampire."

My eyes went wide and my inner cave woman was ready to break a boulder over Eric's head. So I was Area Five property now. I sighed. Well, I had been called worse. And I couldn't justify being too angry about it since, as twisted as this logic was, it might save me, or at least buy me some time. And I took some comfort in the fact Eric at least had the good grace to realize he was treading on some very non politically correct territory. Old dogs, new tricks. I guess it is possible.

"So I'm safe, then?" I asked, feeling doubtful but hoping.

There was something behind Eric's eyes when he looked at me then. "Oh, no. If Victor goes to the King and tells him you can read Vampire minds, your life would be forfeit. Even if the King decided to keep you on as an asset - and there is no guarantee of that - your gift would eventually be recognized and Felipe De Castro's enemies would seek to strike you down. There is not a vampire in the hierarchy who would tolerate the knowledge that a human could see into their minds, even if only brielfy. We have far too much at stake and too much to hide."

I held my breath. That was exactly what I feared but being proven right gave me no pleasure. I noticed, too, that Eric was very clearly not excluding himself in that statement.

"But," Eric continued, "Victor knows what would happen as well as I do if he told the King, and he is not one to see something destroyed that could be useful to him. Killing you would be a waste of a powerful asset, especially since he is assuming - rightly - that the true scope of your abilities is unknown to others. This gives him an advantage and he will probably seek to keep it until he is in a more powerful position. Or until an opportunity presents itself where he feels he can safely take you."

"Take me?" I repeated, not appreciating the euphemism. "You mean make me a vampire."

"He could make a case for it. After all, he would simply be preserving an otherwise temporary asset, one not easily replaced."

The way Eric was telling me this, without emotion, was disconcerting. I felt uneasy and I was very aware that I was in the presence of an individual whose mind and way of life worked very, very differently than mine.

"He's a monster," I whispered. The very thought of having Victor Madden as my 'daddy' made my stomach churn with disgust.

Eric grew silent for a long few moments. He looked at me carefully. "He wasn't the first to consider such measures, you know."

"What? Who?" I stammered.

Eric raised an eyebrow.

I put my hand on my chest. "You?" Any contrite feelings I had about my mistake earlier dissolved in a rush. I may have been wrong about Eric's intentions tonight, but apparently it wasn't as off the mark as I thought!

"I have lived a very long time, Sookie. I've learned to recognize potential when I see it. So yes, I considered taking you as my own. But," he added quietly, "that was before."

Before what, I wondered?

"And do not forget Andre," he continued.

I shook my head. This was getting to be too much, too fast. "Andre just wanted me bonded to the kingdom. Well, you know that obviously, you were there!"

"I heard what he said to you," Eric replied softly. "Do you recall?"

I thought hard. I had tried so many times to forget that incident that had changed me so dramatically. "He said a lot of things" I answered sadly.

"He said he cared nothing about your plans for the rest of your 'human existence'. His implications were clear to me and I realized his intentions toward you. He would have first forced a blood bond with you and then he would have been able to turn you at his pleasure, whether that be one year or ten years later. I intervened, I did what I could to spare your life." He paused, his eyes far away again. "I used every means at my disposal to keep you safe," he added softly, almost sadly. Every means at his disposal, I thought ruefully. That was spelled F.A.N.G.S.

Okay, this whole night was getting to be a bit too much. I had thought I was going to die, I had spilled secrets and had found out at least three vampires had had designs on making me their vamp child. The only thing left would be a werewolf waiting in my car to bite me.

"So what should I do?" I asked. He had to have a plan. Eric always had a plan.

"I will deal with Victor. I will watch him and try to decipher his plans in regards to you without letting him know that I know." Eric grinned. If there wasn't a physical fight to be had, he would settle for a battle of wits. "He won't come after you directly, not now. You are - and I understand how much you despise the term, Sookie - in my retinue and that is not something even Victor can ignore. You're under my protection, both by custom and by order of the King. Plus, I have a certain Ace in the hole, as well."

I snickered at Eric's use of poker slang. I had no doubt Eric had not only an Ace, but also the whole deck stashed away somewhere.

Eric leaned forward. "Before I return to Fangtasia I will talk to Bill. I won't tell him specifics, of course, but I will let him know he is not to leave the area for his research projects or any other reason until I give clearance. He will be close if you need help. And of course the first thing I will do when I return to Sherveport will be to formally declare you as mine."

I thought I could actually feel my eyes dilate. "Excuse me?" I must have misunderstood.

"I will declare you as mine. Not just as part of my crew, but as my paramour."

I felt my mouth pop open. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. I pulled my hands back from Eric's grasp and stood up, walked across the room to give me some space. I turned back to Eric. "Oh no you won't," I told him, putting as much strength behind my words as I could muster. "I am not yours, and I'm certainly not going to be regarded as your whore just because that kind of crap holds some weight with your world."

"Sookie," Eric said firmly, "I know you and I still have things to work out, and we can sort them out in time. But for now, even if for the sake of appearance, it might help."

I held up my hand to stop him before he said anything else. "So you're suggesting I go around acting like your concubine on the off-chance it will stop another vampire from trying to come after me?"

"I understand this might be distasteful to you, but I think you should consider my offer." Eric sounded absolutely cool, like he was negotiating a business deal with a local blood supply chain.

I was ready to go right over the edge, taking sanity with me. This was Eric's big plan? To declare me as his woman, like he was a dog marking his territory? Brilliant.

"Sookie?" Eric prompted, standing up to his full impressive height. I whirled on him.

"Did you know that Bill told me once that if anything happened to him I was supposed to go to you?" I hadn't thought about that in a long while, but it still angered me that he had even suggested it.

Eric's eyes widened. "He told you that?"

"Yes. Like I was incapable of being alone, like I couldn't exist without someone to take care of me." I had flung my arms up as I spoke and Eric was staring at me like I had lost my mind, infuriating me even more.

"Look, I appreciate everything you have done for me. I mean that, sincerely. But this has to stop. I'm not going to get pulled deeper into any more of this vampire crap. I'm not going to role-play as your whore and I'm not going to be viewed as some unique little toy that's kept locked up in a safe until needed. I'm done," I put both up in front of me. "I'm out." Oh yes, I would be calling Niall first thing in the morning.

Eric's eyes turned hard. "We're bound, Sookie."

"Right, I know. You already reminded me of that, quite loudly."

We just glared at one another across the room for a long moment.

"I know you mean what you're saying," Eric said slowly.

"Well of course you do," I muttered sullenly. "I've had your blood, you've had mine. That's where all this mess started."

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"You know when I started hearing vampire minds, Eric? After I'd had blood. Bill told me I needed extra strength because he wasn't sure what you were going to do with me that first time you summoned me to Fangtasia. He told me to take his blood so I did. And voila! I hear you. Then everything was quiet again until after that bullshit in Rhodes. And it could have got me killed at the trial. And now, because of this damned bond that made me all warm and fuzzy I have Victor after me. Everything that happened tonight can be traced right back to you."

I knew it was unfair as soon as I'd said it. It was a nasty and mean and it wasn't even entirely accurate but I couldn't bring myself to care. And why should I? Why should I give a damn about a vampire that had tricked me, and loaned me out to buddies in Dallas and even thought about making me a vampire to preserve my 'usefulness'. No matter what I may feel for Eric, he was still a vampire, a whole different species I would never really understand. The more time I spent with him, the more immersed I became in a world I never wanted to be a part of. There was so little of my life left that I even recognized anymore I would not have the last pieces of it taken away. Eric needed and deserved to know that.

Eric just looked at me for a long while. Emotions flickered across his features too fast for me to follow. I saw anger there, and a hint of sadness, maybe. I recognized confusion and, finally, acceptance. He turned away after a few minutes and walked over to get his jacket. He slipped it on without a word and then turned back to look at me.

"If anything happens to me," he began.

"What?" I asked, cutting him off. "Go back to Bill, right?" Sarcasm practically dripped from the words.

Eric didn't move. "Call Niall. Tell him everything."

Damn right.

Then he turned away from me again and headed for the door.

"Can I ask you one thing?" I called after him and he stopped but did not turn around. "When you were saying you had thought about turning me, what did you mean when you said 'but that was before'?"

Eric stood perfectly still for long enough that I thought he wasn't going to answer. But he did.

"Before I came to the realization that your value was not in your telepathy. It was in your spirit. It was in your bravery and your humor and they way you could feel so fully and with such passion." He paused a moment. "It was in your humanity. I knew then that I could never take that from you."

He opened the door and took one step outside then glanced to the side so I could see his profile. "I will fulfill my obligation to you. If you call on me I will risk my life to save yours." He lowered his head and his voice just a fraction. "Beyond that, I will try not to burden you further."

Then he was gone.

Chapter Eight

It may have been the first time in my life I truly missed not having another mind intrude on my own. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts right now. I was desperate for a distraction, anything to keep me from thinking about what had happened tonight, the things that had been done, the things that had been said.

Eric's quiet retreat my house - from my life, really - had left me filled with a powerful combination of emotions and conflicting thoughts. He hadn't been gone long- I could still smell the lingering scent of his cologne in the room - but already I was feeling a curious emptiness. I was ashamed of the things that had passed between us, specifically some of the angry words I had hurled at him. Even on my worst days I never would have thought myself capable of such behavior. And the worst part of all was that I couldn't even bring myself to believe I was in the wrong to speak so bluntly. Eric - well, he hadn't exactly sugar-coated his own words, either. Somewhere in the back of my head I could hear my Grams voice, Two wrongs don't make a right!

Okay, I was done thinking about this for now.

Picturing Eric's face before he left me, hearing his voice telling me why he wouldn't ever try to turn me....it was gnawing at my heart and I could feel myself already starting to soften. Not good. I couldn't allow myself to become lost in regret or sentiment. I was secure in my decision to disengage from the vampire world and if that meant cutting Eric loose, so be it. I was a mortal woman. Eric's world was not for me. Yes, we were blood bonded and yes, I did care for Eric so there would be pain. But I had to make a clean break. I had to get out while I still had some reasonable chance at having a normal life. I knew I could do this if I just stayed focused.

But right now, maintaining that focus was proving difficult with all the crazy emotions whipping around inside me. I needed to do something, I needed a distraction. And I needed a plan. The drama with Eric was secondary to my bigger problem, which was Victor. Despite Eric's allegations that Victor wouldn't come after me, I wasn't completely convinced. And I certainly wasn't comfortable with just sitting back and waiting for Victor to decide my fate. I was going to be a little more proactive than that.

I checked the time and frowned. It was late - well, technically it was early. I had told myself I would call Niall first thing in the morning but that was just the polite human in me talking. I somehow doubted Niall would begrudge me an after-hours call in an emergency. In fact, knowing how eager he was to offer me assistance, I figured he would probably welcome my interruption no matter what the time.

I made my way to the kitchen and flipped on the light. I opened up my address book and turned to the front page where I kept Niall's card. I grabbed up the phone and started to punch in the numbers. Right before I pressed the last digit I hesitated. My finger hovered over the number, but I couldn't bring myself to touch the key. It was like my finger and the phone were similar poles on a magnet, repelling one another. I frowned, hung up the phone, tried again. It was the same result, only this time I couldn't even get past the third number before I had to stop. There was no outside force preventing me from calling Niall, I knew that. There was something else, something coming from inside me but I couldn't imagine what it was.

Calling Niall was the most reasonable option to deal with the Victor problem. Niall was a very magical, very powerful faerie, and he had made it perfectly clear he wanted to help me if ever I desired it. He also wanted to keep me safe. At our first meeting Niall had bluntly offered to kill Eric just to sever the blood bond I had with him. If I told Niall what had happened tonight and what I was afraid of, I had no doubt Victor Madden would be dead before you could say Bibbity-Bobbity-boo. Problem solved.

So what was I waiting for?

I clicked off the phone again and placed it slowly and carefully back in place as an uneasy realization swept through me. What was happening to me? Here I was, about to pick up the phone and basically put a death decree out on another person. Sure, the 'person' in question was a vampire that had a very good reason to want me dead or worse, but still - was this the level I was working on now? I got a quick image of myself in my head: Sookie Stackhouse, mafia faerie princess, calling up her favorite henchfae to carry out preemptive vengeance. Maybe I could add a little wand that I could use as a pointer while I dispensed justice on the masses; that guy lives, this one dies. My will be done!

I tried to find it funny but I couldn't.

And on the heels of that image came a thought even more disturbing. My Great-Grandfather had offered to kill Eric once. He had said it so calmly and easily, like he was asking if I wanted a refill on my water. I thought harder, keeping that chain of thought. There was something there with Niall and Eric, some history of which I was unaware. Niall had told me Eric had been 'useful' to him in the past. Useful - like the vampire was simply a tool in a toolbox. He had approached me through Eric, too, so there was trust there, of sorts, between the two. But then Niall - less than one hour after meeting me - offered to kill Eric if I so wished.

I hadn't been aware of it, but I noticed I had actually taken a few steps back and away from the phone. And I had shut the address book.

What did I really know about Niall? Not much. Less than just about anyone I considered a friend. Far less than Sam and Amelia, even less than Eric. But I had been quick, so quick, to trust Niall. I was thrilled to have family again and he was so sincere- or seemed to be- in wanting to get to know me. I had overlooked his arrogant and casual disregard for Eric's life, justified it, even, because he was family and he just wanted to help me. I hadn't even really thought much about it, until now. And why was I thinking about this now? There was something stirring in my head, some knowledge that was just out of reach.

I turned around, still lost in deep thought, and glanced over to the sink. I was momentarily pulled out of my contemplation when I noticed the little bowl I rinsed off earlier still laying face down in the sink where I had left it. I walked over and picked it up, memories surfacing from just hours before. Eric had brought me grapes in this bowl after my tummy had announced hunger. It had been such an unexpected and sweet gesture. I smiled for a moment but it faded just as fast as I caught myself losing focus again. Think about something else, I commanded myself sternly. I resolutely picked up the little bowl and stashed it away in the cabinet. Out of sight, out of mind.

I turned on my heel and walked out of the kitchen, switching off the light with one hand as I left. I passed the fireplace and glanced at it, noticing the flames had all but died out, leaving a marked drop in the temperature of the room. I made a quick stop at the front door and double checked the locks. Another wave of sadness hit me as I did this. This was the door Eric had bought for me after my last one had suffered death by were-tiger. I reached out and touched it with my fingertips. It was solid, much nicer than the original, and safe. It had dual locks, heavy duty, and both were clamped down tight right now.

I hadn't thought of it at the time, but it struck me now that Eric had ordered this door for me immediately after the Nevada takeover of the state, possibly even the same night since it arrived the very next day. Eric's whole existence had been turned upside down, he was on shaky ground with his new boss but he still took the time to make sure I had new door. I felt a terrible pain in my heart. It was a nice gesture, even if he did owe me. My door would never have been broken in the first place, I reminded myself, if not for my being hauled into the middle of that vampire political mess. And I had been hauled in because I was bonded to Eric. And I was bonded to him because of other vampire political messes and 'round and 'round we go. I pushed away the tug in my heart and reminded myself this was precisely why I needed to get off this ride.

I picked up the near-empty glass that held my now watered down iced tea and brought it to the kitchen and took time to wash it out, dry it and put it away. When I opened up the cabinet I arranged all the glasses, placing them in perfect little rows. It was busy work, ridiculous, but I was trying to occupy my mind with something other than thoughts of Eric. I grabbed the sponge from the sink, dampened it and wiped down the already-spotless counter tops. Maybe Amelia was rubbing off on me. She cleaned when she was stressed (as well as excited, sad and possibly even horny) I was starting to understand the appeal. It was mind-numbing and relaxing in a way.

I glanced at the clock. About fifteen minutes had passed since Eric had left. Was that all? It felt like hours. I wished I could just go to bed and lapse into oblivion but I didn't feel the least bit sleepy. My mind was still working like mad, there was no way I was going to be able to turn it off just yet. I needed another way to escape, needed to find something else to do to.

For the second time I headed back into the living room. I looked around, trying to find something to straighten or clean. There wasn't much. Amelia was nothing if not a neat freak and that included the common areas of the house. Oh! My bedroom....that was all mine. Surely there were things in there that needed done! I marched purposefully down the hall and immediately found a distraction. There was a basket of clean clothes sitting by the bed. I had washed and folded them earlier but hadn't put them away yet. I picked up one item, a sweater, and placed it neatly in the proper drawer. Then I got the next item and did the same. Usually I grabbed a whole stack of like items and shoved them all in at once to save time but tonight I wanted to draw it out. I was about halfway through the stack when I heard sudden loud voices coming from back in the living room. I froze for a second, then turned around with eyes wide. Who in the world...

I closed my eyes after a few seconds, shaking my head, berating myself for being startled. I recognized the voices. Scarlet and Rhett. The stupid movie had started up again. I headed back out and stared at the television in confusion. Hadn't the movie been paused? Yes, it had been. But my VCR was so old it acted crazy sometimes. One of these days I was going to have to break down and get a new one. Maybe I'd get one of those DVD/VCR combo units. Jason had switched out all his VHS movies to DVD and he kept telling me I should catch up with the modern world and do the same but I just couldn't see the point in wasting money like that.

I smiled grimly at the scene that was playing. I knew it well. Too well. Scarlet was starting her downward spiral at this point in the movie, one of the reasons I had wanted to stop watching it earlier. I loved Gone with the Wind but it was one of those painful-to-watch movies that mixed enjoyment with sadness. She was such an idiot, I thought to myself. Scarlet was so self absorbed she was almost handicapped. And she was enthralled with that sweet but confused soldier, Ashley Wilkes. (the married one that had always made it clear he would never leave his wife) Scarlet had her head and heart so fixed on Ashley she never allowed herself to see how much Rhett truly loved her, how absolutely perfect they were together, until it was too late. Tragic.

I watched the movie for a few minutes, reciting the lines in my head by memory as they were spoken. Another distraction had been found! But soon I felt myself become unaccountably angry. This ridiculous movie had really been the cause of my problems tonight. If I hadn't let Eric talk me into watching it then I wouldn't have become saddened when the movie took it's depressing turn. Eric wouldn't have paused it and we wouldn't have had our chit chat about his life that caused me to feel closer to him. He would never have offered to tell me more stories and I would never have made that crack about being mortal. And we knew how that ended, oh yes.

I felt myself start to shake. I walked over to the VCR and hit eject and took out the tape and held it in my hands. I was pretty sure - yes, I hated this movie now. I knew I would never want to watch it again, ever. It would be too much of a reminder of this night. With a rage so sudden and foreign it nearly overwhelmed me I stood up and hurled the tape across the room where it smashed against the wall and fell to the floor in a dozen pieces, leaving an ugly cut in the wall. Looked like I still had some vamp strength left in me. I stared at the mess I had made and decided to let it lay. Screw it. I'd deal with it tomorrow.

I headed back to my room and with a surge of anger-induced adrenaline I finished up with the laundry quickly. I was still fuming at the injustice of it all and paced back and forth, trying to think of more ways to fill my brain. Ah ha, got it! I headed to the bathroom and found the pile of stuff from my purse I had dumped out earlier. My purse was on the floor and the items were scattered all over the counter now. I picked it all up, my hands lingering on the final item - my red cell phone. I needed to charge that, I remembered. I walked to my bed and sat down, picking up the little cord that was plugged into the socket right near the nightstand. I popped it into the phone and sat it down and there it was again - the tug in my heart. Eric gave me that phone as replacement for the one he broke the night of the takeover. He had snatched it right from my hands. I made myself remember how much that had angered me and it helped force the nagging pain from my heart. I was getting better at this, I thought.

My eyes scanned the room for something else to do and I saw a little Christmas gift bag poking out from under my coat, which was in the chair on the other side of my bed. I had completely forgotten I even had this, it had been sitting on that chair for so many days it had become like a fixture of the room. I walked over and retrieved it, pulling out the red and green tissue paper and removing the present inside. Sam always had a little Christmas party at the bar and we did a secret Santa gift exchange this year. I chuckled to myself. Arlene had drawn my name. I know it had to have chapped her butt she had to buy something for me, but I had to give her credit. She had not only picked out an item she thought I would like (though she stayed well within the designated spending amounts Sam had instituted for the event) she had even put it in a pretty bag with all the trimmings. It was a little calendar, similar to my word of the day calendar I liked so much, but this was a 'Quote of the Day' calendar. I had thanked Arlene, even gave her a half-hearted hug that she half-heartedly returned. We played nice at work, out of respect for Sam. I played around with the calendar for a few minutes, flipping through it to my birthday, reading the quote there. It was a funny one and it made me smile. I went to the end and read the one for Christmas Day, which was a bible verse, as could be expected.

I stood up and took the calendar into the bathroom, flipped it open to January 1st (which wasn't quite here yet but almost) and placed it in the corner of the counter at an aesthetically pleasing angle. This was one room I used every day and it was a great place for something like that. I headed back to the bedroom and without thinking I picked up my cranberry coat which was still lying on the chair. Then I stopped. Hadn't I hung my coat up when I got home from work last night? I always put it on the rack when I come in. Well, obviously you didn't, Sookie, since it's not there! I chided myself silently. Whatever. I carried it out to the coat rack by the back door and hung it up and realized, again, that this was yet another darn reminder of Eric. Was there nothing in my house that would let me just forget him? My fingers lingered on the coat after I hung it up. It was very pretty, the nicest I had ever had. And very warm. The vampire had good taste, yes indeed.

I stopped myself cold this time. I was done thinking about Eric tonight. I had to get a grip on these emotions. I rarely felt this mentally scattered and I wondered if some of my problem wasn't coming in from the blood bond. Eric hadn't exactly been his usual calm and cool self tonight, and before he left he certainly had quite a few different emotions skittering across his face. Maybe I was getting some residual feedback from him? I wouldn't doubt if that was the case and just thinking about it sent a new wave or irritation through me from head to toe. Blood bond, blood tie, blood noose. It was all about the blood. The red stuff flowing in my veins that was keeping me alive and keeping me shackled to Eric.

I headed back to my bedroom, realizing I was probably wearing out the floor with all this walking back and forth. When had it all started for us, I found myself wondering, this bond I had with Eric? (so much for not thinking about him anymore!) Absently, I started to count all the times Eric had taken my blood. The first time...yes, it was after the Maenad had attacked me and he drank from me to remove the poison. I almost had to laugh; the cocky Viking had even winked at me before he did it. Pure Eric right there. If only I knew then what I knew now - that it would be the beginning of the end of my free will - I may well have let the poison have me! (Okay, not really) Eric had helped to heal me that night so I couldn't honestly get upset about that.

And the next time he took a few licks in Dallas while he tended my injuries - that hadn't bothered me either since I knew his saliva would help me heal up faster. And then there was the time when he fed from me after Mickey had hit him with a rock. Eric was at my house at my request that night, so I couldn't begrudge him blood that time, either. And the blood he took during our lovemaking, well I wasn't even going to count that at all because that had been as much for my benefit as his. Just thinking about how it felt when he had bit into my thigh that first time sent a throbbing wave of sheer lust right through my center. I squeezed my eyes shut and sat down on my bed. I would not think about that.

I was doing it yet again, letting my emotional sentiments get the better of me. I needed to rid myself of it, work up some righteous anger, so I thought about the last time Eric had taken my blood. It saved me from Andre, true, but it had bound us together and it was against my will. Yep, that did it, always did. The anger was back and once again I was in charge of my feelings. Maybe the trick was to just find a way to stay pissed off all the time. I chuckled. There was a charming idea. Arlene could probably give me some tips.

I stood up and headed into the bathroom to brush my teeth and start getting ready for bed. I still wasn't sleepy but maybe if I went through the motions of my nighttime routine it would help me get there. I was ready for seven or eight hours of escape. I hoped I wouldn't even dream tonight. I picked up the toothpaste and spread it on the brush without really thinking. As I worked on my teeth my eyes drifted over to my new little calendar. What the heck? I spit out the toothpaste and rinsed out my mouth then frowned. Hadn't I just put the calendar to January 1st? I thought I had, but apparently I was having delusions because now it wasn't even close. It was flipped open to August 25th. I picked it up to switch it back to the correct day but as I did so I read the short quote written on that day:

Search others for virtues, thyself for vices - Benjamin Franklin

Hmm, hadn't heard that one before. I changed the date back, then splashed some warm water on my face and picked up a towel. I stood straight up, dabbing my face dry as I looked into the mirror and then stopped dead when I caught my own eyes in the reflection. I stood shock still for many seconds, then slowly sat the towel back down, never taking my eyes off the image in the mirror. I didn't recognize the person I saw there. It was me, but it wasn't me. Kind of like the day I had looked at myself in this very mirror and saw myself as Eric saw me. This time I was seeing....well, I wasn't sure. But it wasn't pretty.

I took several steps away from the sink counter until my back hit the wall. Benjamin Franklin had come back from his grave to give me a hard smack and he had brought his lightening rod with him, it seemed. Something akin to a bolt of electricity hit me, illuminating the dark corners of my mind, the places that been hidden from view, and what I found there was beyond horrifying. What was happening to me? I didn't know exactly, but I felt strongly I was on the verge of the most epic Oh Shit Moment of my life.

Sudden realization flooded into me. I had been looking for reasons for distrust Eric. (not that I ever had to look too far!) But I had cast aside and dismissed his gestures of kindness and caring - his virtues - and I had been quick to judge him for his shortcomings. I raised my hands to my head and thought hard...I remembered just a while ago I had been thinking about Niall and the casual way he talked about killing. It had bothered me, and it had stayed my hand when I was about to call him but I hadn't understood exactly why. Now...I think I got it.

Niall was every bit as foreign to me as Eric - maybe more so - but until tonight I had never looked for reasons to avoid my Great-Grandfather the way I had looked for them with Eric. Because Niall was family, maybe? But I didn't think that was it. I knew all too well that family members could hurt you worse than anyone else on the planet if they wanted to. But there I had been, ready to call and ask Niall for his protection after I had just denied Eric the same thing when he was standing right in front of me, offering his help. Was it the vampire in Eric I mistrusted? Or was it something even deeper?

I kind of stumbled out to the bedroom, not really seeing anything, completely engrossed in what I was now convinced was some sort of epiphany. I noticed my cell phone, still charging, and remembered how my first one had been destroyed. I replayed it in my head, seeing Eric snatching the phone from my hands and dashing it against the wall. But this time I didn't get mad, not at all. I ran down the hall, back to the living room. I stopped and stared at the broken remains of the video tape I had destroyed earlier in a fit of rage. I stepped closer and examined the ugly mark I had made when the tape hit the wall. I touched it lightly. Right above it was another cut, smaller but deeper, created when my cell phone made contact months before.

Eric was right, it seemed. He and I were similar creatures.

My gaze traveled around the room and came to rest on the door he had bought for me. Hanging nearby was the cranberry coat. I crossed the room slowly, each step deliberate. I reached out and touched the pretty, warm coat, then the thick, safe door. Warm. Safe. Those were the feelings Eric stirred in me now, the ones I had told him I didn't want because I thought it was just an illusion created by our bond. But it was real, so real. It had been right here in front of me the whole time and I couldn't see it. No, that wasn't true. I had refused to see it. It had been easier to blame my feelings on the blood bond. The blood.

I froze again as another memory surfaced in my head. All the times Eric had taken my blood, it had always been for me, for my sake. With the Maenad and in Dallas I had wanted his healing, and in the case of Mickey, I was wanting him to heal up fast so he could help me. It was always about me. But the times he had asked me for blood when he was hurting, when he needed my help, I had denied him. Twice he had taken a bullet meant for me - once when Debbie Pelt shot at me and again when the Were attacked us in the car. The first time I could make a case for not letting him drink from me, since I knew I would be needing all my strength, but the last time I had no excuse. I thought I was being strong, thought I was being tough. I had even wanted to help him, to heal him, but I had clenched my fists and made myself get out of that car. I marched in the house saying 'Hear me roar!' Eric had been in pain and I had refused him just to prove to myself I could.

Something inside me started to break, and I got a brief image of the safety glass at the Pyramid of Gizeh, how it had become a spiderweb of cracked glass but had infuriatingly held together albeit tenuously.

In a moment of clarity like I had never had, I whipped around and looked again at the remains of the broken tape on the floor. Why had I broken the tape of what was a favorite movie of mine, anyway? Where had that violent reaction come from? It's just a movie, for heaven's sake! And then I knew. It had all been hitting a little too close to home for me, that's why I destroyed it, why I didn't even want to continue watching it tonight. My subconscious was trying to tell me something but I had refused to acknowledge it, choosing instead to run from it.

Another memory slammed into me. Eric and I in the car on the way home the night I had saved Bill from Lorena. Did I realize, Eric had asked me, that I walked away when things got tough with Bill? He wanted to know for future reference. I had been so irritated by his assumption that he would one day be a romantic partner of mine I hadn't given much thought to the first part of his statement. But I was thinking about it now, oh yes. He had been dead-on right again. I did walk away when things got tough. As recently as this very night I had retreated under fire.I had given up, told Eric I was through, and then spent the rest of my time looking for ways to escape what had happened.

I swayed on my feet. I was starting to feel like an punch-drunk boxer on an emotional level. Everyone thought I was tough, Eric had called me brave but I knew right then I was nothing more than a coward. Sure, I could take getting staked, I could kill a vampire ho or face down some Weres and witches but when it came to emotional entanglement I had a yellow streak a mile wide.

And what was I afraid of anyway? I told Eric my free will was being taken away bit by bit. Was that what I was so desperate to protect? If it was, it seemed ridiculous to me now. I had already given that up once before; I had surrendered my will to Eric the night I was staked in Jackson. In my pain and fear I had given myself over to him and he had not let me down. I often wondered if he had managed to glamour me that night. Look at me, Sookie! he had told me over and over until finally I did. He told me to let go and I did. He had somehow taken me away from the unbearable suffering. I had drifted away, knowing I was safe with him. How quick I was to forget.

I realized I had been holding onto ideas of what I wanted my life to be, but maybe what I wanted and what I needed were two different things. I had been afraid of what I was losing and angry about what had already been taken from me. What was that Eric had said about sacrifice earlier? He had experienced the same things I had, but he had simply viewed them differently. He saw his bond with me and the resulting loss of personal independence as a worthy sacrifice, something within his control. I saw myself as a victim. Sweet Jesus, I could learn so much from him, this ancient Viking warrior.

I knew then what I had to do, what I wanted to do. I knew what I needed more than anything else.

The thing inside me that had started to break earlier finally came crashing down in a heap. Just like the glass at the Pyramid had finally given way when Eric and I had combined our strength. We pushed that coffin through the window and by some miracle we managed to survive. With our arms wrapped tightly around one another we had bobbed through the air to safety. I had saved him; he had saved me. Together.

With a rising strength of will, I unlocked both latches on the door as fast as I could and flung it open. I ran onto the porch and barely noticed that the snow had began to fall. Big fluffy white flakes rained down like confetti and I know I would have thought it beautiful at any other time. But I could not be undeterred. I had to find Eric. It was a compulsion I could not ignore, much like the night I had saved him and the King from Siegbert. But this time there was no hesitation in me, no waiting around to decide if what I was feeling was real. I had to do this- not because of the bond, not just because I liked Eric, but because I needed him desperately.

I knew it was a long shot, Eric could be back in Shreveport by now for all I knew, but he said he was going to talk to Bill before he went, so maybe he could still be over there? I could feel him, sort of. The bond was humming away, so he couldn't be far, I thought. I had never actively tried to track Eric, but I knew it was possible since he had found me several times.

How long had it been since he left my house? I didn't know, and I didn't care. I was running on a surge of adrenaline fueled by wild desperation as I sprinted down the porch steps and started across the driveway. I was only vaguely aware of the cold gravel digging into my feet as I ran, I barely noticed the cold through my pajamas. I ran, following the little flares of emotions that I recognized as being separate from my own.

I ran across the cemetery, feeling my toes sink a bit into the chilled ground with every step. Then about halfway to Bill's house I stopped... something had changed....the pull had altered. Eric was moving, he must be. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I was breathing heavily. Where is he where is he where is he? A quick flash of emotion washed over me but it wasn't mine. I concentrated heavily and got a very vague sense of the direction of that flash, or so I hoped. I really had no idea what I was doing, I was working on pure instinct. I changed direction and ran off toward the main road. Eric was flying, so he had no need to follow the normal routes back to Shreveport, but I was hoping against hope he was close enough that he could hear me or feel me or something.

"Eric!" I screamed as I ran. "Eric!" I got all the way to the road, paused to get my bearings then took off again. I was calling to Eric, both out loud and through our bond, though I wasn't really sure either was very effective. Or maybe he did hear me and simply didn't have any desire left inside him to answer me. That thought seemed to sap the last ounce of energy out of me and my stamina finally began to wane. I slowed down, first to a jog, then to a walk and finally I stopped, my chest heaving with exertion, my hair damp with snow. "Eric," I said once again, in a choked whisper.

I looked around after a few minutes, realizing with a start that I had come much farther than I thought. The snow had gotten heavier and it had started to accumulate, though just a little. Sprouts of green and brown mixed with white covered the ground, and now that my adrenaline was no longer coursing through my veins I felt the sharp sting of cold on my bare feet and in my hands and in my cheeks. I flexed my fingers over and over again, trying to keep the blood moving so I could warm up. I looked around, reaching out, trying to find some sign - any sign - of Eric. There was nothing but a terrible and brutal silence.

Sadness threatened to overwhelm me, and anguish. How could I have let this happen? I was just like Scarlet, I lamented. I had found the one person in the whole world that saw me exactly as I was and cared for me anyway. And like Scarlet I hadn't realized what I had until it was gone. I stood in the falling snow, feeling as alone as I'd ever felt in my life. Eric was gone. I had lost him.

I fell down on my knees at the side of the road and despair took me.


Chapter Nine

Get up, Sookie! You have to get up!

I'd been telling myself that for many minutes and, finally, I decided to obey.

I leaned forward from my knees and placed both my hands face down on the cold, snow covered ground and pushed. My knees were wet and numb, the snow having soaked easily through my pajamas while I cowered on the side of the road awash in guilt and pain and not a little self-pity. There was a moment there when I really thought I might just lay down and give up, but it was only a moment. I knew I needed to find Eric, needed to talk to him and make things right between us, if I could. But I knew that would be hard to do if I froze to death - and if I didn't pull myself together and get home soon, that was a very real possibility. I was shivering as I never had before, my stomach was clenching with spasms and my teeth felt like they were going to crack from the chattering.

I stood up slowly, feeling every muscle in my body wail in protest as I did so. I took a few steps and winced as pain shot straight up through my bare feet and into my legs. I pulled down the sleeves on my pajama top as far as I could, trying to cover up my hands that were stinging with the bite of the wind. I still couldn't believe how far I had run trying to catch up with Eric; it had to have been half a mile! I hadn't even felt the cold then, focused as I was, but I was sure feeling it now. I tried to rally myself, but it was agonizingly difficult. The huge chip that had been sitting on my shoulder for so many months hadn't disappeared, but it seemed to have changed locations. I felt like there was an enormous weight sitting right smack dab in my chest, crushing my heart.

I did a kind of dance, raising one foot for a few seconds, then switching to the other, trying to get some feeling back in my feet. I started to walk, every step excruciating. The snow was thicker now and the moon was only a sliver in the sky, but I had lived here all my life and I knew my way home even in the dark. I thought about sticking to the road until I hit my drive but decided it would be faster to cut back the way I came. It was a fine plan until one nearly frozen foot stepped down on a jutting rock the wrong way and down I went like a sack of potatoes. I fell forward, catching myself with my forearms just before my face hit the ground. Ouch.

I hadn't broken anything, nothing was injured that would prevent me from walking but I just lay there on my stomach in the snow, cold and sore and alone and completely infuriated at myself for more than just temporary clumsiness. I slapped my hand on the ground a few times and felt tears of pure frustration well up. Great, that was just what I didn't need. I was going to have icicles on my face, I just knew it. With effort, I squeezed my eyes shut and forced the tears back. I was done crying tonight.

I hauled myself up once again and brushed off the snow from my pajamas as best I could. I started walking again, more carefully this time. I was counting my steps to keep my mind off the pain. I got to a hundred and started counting again, this time adding a little nursery rhyme. One two, buckle my shoe, three four shut the door. I giggled a bit, I felt so silly. I kept my head down, trying my best to block the wind, and noticed my newly painted toenails were already looking a little rough. I'd have to redo them I thought, feeling strangely amused. Five six, pick up sticks. I risked a glance up to make sure I was heading in the right direction. The snow was making pretty little designs in the limbs of the trees. It was so beautiful and I had to stop and just appreciate it for a minute. We rarely got to see this kind of thing in Louisiana. I should take a picture, I thought absently. As I started walking again I got the impression that maybe it was starting to warm up; I wasn't as cold anymore and my feet were moving a little faster now. I wasn't exactly going in the straightest of lines, but from what I could tell but I was heading in the right direction. I would be home soon, and I would start the fire again and I would warm up and I would call Eric. He would take my call, right? Oh please let him take my call! Seven, eight, lay them straight.

The wind whipped my hair into my face and I reached up to brush it back with my hand and missed. I giggled. That was so weird. I tried again and came closer that time. What was wrong with me? My breathing was speeding up and I was feeling very tired. Maybe if I just sat down for a few minutes it would help. I found a tree and leaned up against it, laid my head on the trunk and closed my eyes. My shivering was almost like convulsions now, but I didn't mind. It was working, I was definitely feeling warmer. Wish I wasn't so tired, though. I slid down the tree and squatted on the balls of my feet and let my head fall forward onto my crossed arms. It must be late, I was so sleepy. Nine, ten, do it again...

"Sookie."

My eyes fluttered open. Someone said my name, right? I raised my head and it bobbed just a little. I struggled to focus, and saw I wasn't alone. Could anyone look more like an Archangel, I wondered, when I saw Eric standing there tall and strong in the falling snow, his face slightly glowing as it always does. He came back to me, I thought rosily. My heart pounded and I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't get out a word through my chattering teeth. I wanted to reach out for him, I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him how sorry I was for what happened earlier, but my arms felt like they were made of lead.

Eric looked at me a long time, and it wasn't a happy look, not at all. He walked towards me, frowning, pulling off his jacket. He knelt down in front of me and his eyes were like ice shards when they found mine. He reached out and I felt his jacket being pulled around my shoulders. Then in one swift movement he bundled me up in his arms and stood. My head fell on his chest and I gazed up at his face. I'm so sorry, that's what I wanted to say.

"I'm s-s-s.." was all I managed to squeak out. Eric looked down at me with an unreadable expression but didn't speak. He held me tightly and I felt a strange sensation, felt wind on my face and the legs of my pajama bottoms were fluttering against my ankles. We were flying.

It seemed like no time at all before were were back at my house. Eric walked us onto the porch and opened the back door I didn't remember shutting. He brought me into the living room and sat me gently on the chair nearest the fire - the fire that was going at full blaze once again. So strange.

Eric paused and I saw his nostrils flare out and he tensed, looked around. He relaxed after a moment, removed his jacket from my shoulders and tossed it on the couch, exchanging it with the warm blanket I had covered up with earlier. Then he disappeared and I panicked for a moment. He couldn't leave me yet, I needed to talk to him! I was still beyond the ability to speak, though I tried to call out to him. I attempted to pull the blanket around myself more tightly but my fingers wouldn't cooperate.

I heard movement down the hall and Eric appeared with a white towel from the bathroom. He came over to me and put the towel over my damp hair, dried it for a minute and without a word he left again. I heard noise, this time from the kitchen. Cabinets were opened, water was running. The fire was feeling so good and I felt the shaking starting to subside, though I was still numb and stiff. When Eric returned he had a little basin of water and a cloth. He knelt down in front of me on one knee, and rolled up the legs on my pajamas, which were wet and dirty. He placed the basin on the floor and I saw the water was tinged with red. He lifted up my feet to place them in the water and for the first time I noticed they were cut and bloody as well as covered with dirt. The water stung a little though it was barely lukewarm, but I didn't even think about protesting. I watched in amazement as Eric wet the cloth and starting bathing off my feet. I saw nearly-healed fang marks on the inside of his right wrist as he dipped the cloth back in the reddish water and twisted it out over and over while he cleaned me. He was silent as he did this and kept his eyes on his work. He was detached and almost clinical, but gentle. It wasn't long at all before I was cleaned up, mostly dry and feeling a hundred times better. At least physically.

Eric removed the basin and pushed it aside while I reached up and pulled the towel from my head. My fingers were working again. Eric looked up at me and our eyes met. There was so much I wanted to tell him but right at that moment all I could think of was putting my arms around him and never, ever letting go. I didn't think that would be appreciated at the moment, though; Eric was still looking decidedly unhappy.

"Thank you," I told him finally, wishing my voice was stronger.

He just glared at me for a good while with that intense gaze I had become uncomfortably familiar with. "Nothing you haven't done for me," he said, then stood up, unsmiling.

"I'm so sorry," I breathed, looking up at him with pleading eyes. I hoped he would say something, anything, even if he yelled at me it would be better than silence.

"I don't want an apology," he told me in a neutral voice. "I knew you might come to hate me."

I shook me head. "But I don't! What I said earlier, I didn't mean it. I don't blame you. Eric..." I trailed off when his face closed down.

He crossed his arms across his chest and looked down. "What were you running from just now?" he asked, not looking up.

"Nothing," I said softly. "I was trying to find you. I had to talk to you. I couldn't let you leave like that."

Eric's head snapped up and he looked at me with fury. "And for that you decided to risk your safety? You were in stage one hypothermia when I found you, well on your way to stage two, did you realize that?"

My eyes went wide and I shook my head. "How do you know?"

He raised an eyebrow. Oh, right. Viking.

"You could have simply called me," he said. There was still anger in him, it was bubbling just under the surface and I could hear it in his voice.

I looked down, embarrassed. "I wasn't thinking that clearly, I guess."

"So it seems," he said quietly.

We stayed like that for a long minute, the only sound between us the pops and cracks in the fire. He was being so cold - not that I could blame him- but it made it hard for me to rally some of my earlier confidence. I inhaled, held it, exhaled.

"It wasn't the bond," I blurted out all at once, and Eric's brows creased together. "In Rhodes, when I came to find you. It wasn't just because of the blood tie." I watched Eric's face closely, and it seemed like his hardened expression relaxed a bit, but it may have been wishful thinking on my part. "You were right. It would hurt me if you died, very much." It was hurting me just to say the words now. "After you left earlier - and I don't blame you at all for walking out - I started to think about things, about us. I didn't even want to think about anything, and I was trying not to, but I couldn't help it." I knew for a fact I was babbling at this point, but I also knew if I stopped I'd lose my nerve so I plowed on.

"You scare me sometimes. I don't know what's going on in your head and there are times you say things and do things that I don't understand and some of them infuriate me. But there are plenty of times I love being around you, too. And you've done a lot for me, helped me out with things I needed. You've cared for me and you have always liked me just as I am. And I've always felt safe around you, even before the blood tie."

I paused to take a breath and Eric's expression had for sure changed this time. Not angry anymore- bewildered perhaps? I kept going. "But the thing is, what I realized, is that I've been constantly reminding myself of all the things about you that frighten me and make us different. And when I start to remember the other things, the things I really, really like about you, that's when I try to get away. Or I push you away." I lowered my voice but forced myself to look Eric in the eyes. "Or I just blame it on the blood bond so I don't have to deal with it." I held his eyes. "But I'm done running and...well, that's what I had to tell you."

There was an uncomfortable silence after I (finally) stopped talking. I couldn't get a thing from Eric's face and I felt like something big was hanging in the balance. I had just put myself out there and now came the waiting. It hadn't been the most articulate explanation, I knew, but it was the best I could do in the middle of the night after too many upheavals.

As the silence dragged I became more and more fearful that Eric was about to pull a Rhett 'I don't give a damn' Butler move. It was a crushing thought. I was powerfully and acutely aware of my need to have Eric in my life. It was so bizarre how this one desire was driving me now when I hadn't even acknowledged it's existence until possibly an hour ago. My epiphany (or whatever is was) had opened up a floodgate of new and long buried emotions and I wanted to share it all with Eric, but he was still very clearly in the not-sharing type of mood.

"I'm too late, aren't I?" I asked him quietly, feeling my stomach twist with dread. It seemed an eternity before he answered and when he did, he had a faint ghost of a smile.

"I have waited hundreds of years for you. Do you really think a few short months more would try my patience?"

Alrighty, not what I was expecting but I was okay with that. Did that mean I was forgiven? I smiled up at him, but then his face locked down again and he became serious.

"Am I right in assuming you are prepared to deal with our situation now?" he asked me directly.

Our situation? That was one way to put it, I suppose. "Yes, I think so," I answered slowly.

He was in front of me in a flash, kneeling on one leg, his eyes blazing. "Not good enough, Sookie. You cannot just think you're ready. There can be no halfway on this. Too much is at stake for self doubt and second guessing."

Something in his voice made me take pause, but not for long. Things had gotten completely out of hand between us and needed to be put back to rights. The inexplicable events and resulting destruction of my self-made delusions was forefront in my head.

"Tell me what I need to do," I told him in a steady voice.

"You care for me?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Because of the bond?" his eyes narrowed slightly.

"No," I said weakly, then sat up a little straighter and tried to summon up a stronger voice. "No, it's not just because of the bond. I cared for you before Rhodes, and if this tie we have unravels tomorrow I know I would still care for you, very much."

"Do you want me as part of your life?" This he asked very slowly.

"Yes," I said. "I need you," I added in the faintest of whispers.

Eric searched my eyes for a long while then seemed to relax, his shoulders dropped and he leaned away from me a fraction. "Certainly took you a while to figure that out."

I looked down at hands in my lap, feeling chastised. "Too long."

I felt his hand lift my chin so he could see my face. "I feel the same about you," he told me gently.

I felt myself start to smile as knots of tension began to loosen inside me, but one look at Eric's face told me not to get ahead of myself. He raised his head a fraction.

"But we are bound in blood," he began, his eyes never breaking contact with mine. "I don't take that lightly and neither can you. There is a magic at work between us now that is not easily broken."

I choked back a little giggle. "Magic?" I asked, and I know I sounded amused. Eric was not.

"Call it what you will. The same magic, the power that keeps me functioning without a heartbeat, that prevents me from entering a mortal's home uninvited, that makes me sense the dawn - this is inside you, too, just in a different form. You must respect it and learn how to use it. For both our sakes."

"I'm not sure I'm understanding," I said slowly. "I can always feel you when you're around, is that what you mean? And when you say use it... should I learn how to track you? I was trying to do that before. I don't think I'm very good at it."

Eric smiled. "Those are the basic attributes of a common blood bond, yes. But we have something different, something stronger."

I looked at him closely. "What makes you think so?"

"Because this is much more powerful than anything I have felt before."

My eyes went wide. "You've had a blood bond before?" I felt a little hurt, honestly, and I realized the absurdity of it. How protective I'd become of something I didn't even admit to wanting when I woke up this morning!

"I've been bonded many times," Eric continued. "As I told you before, it was helpful in the past, when we lived in secrecy, to have a human and sustain that person. That meant giving blood if they became sick or injured. Plus it gave us the advantage of knowing what the human was feeling so we could sense betrayal or danger, or to make them submit to our call. It's also why humans were drained when their usefulness had run out. We didn't want any type of connection to remain, no matter how slight. Most all vampires have formed blood bonds with humans at one time or another, it's nothing new."

I leaned back in the chair like the wind had been knocked out of me. "Okay, then why is everyone making such a big deal about us? Quinn..." I hesitated. Not tactful to bring up one former flame in front of another, right? Couldn't think about that now. "He was really upset about it. Well, I guess he would be. But even the King said it was interesting! If it's such a dime-a-dozen thing, why the interest?"

Eric seemed to gather his thoughts before answering. "Because in most blood bonds there is not an emotional connection, at least not for the vampire. It's just a tie made from necessity or a desire to control another. I told you how humans have been viewed in the past."

I grimaced. I remembered our McPeople conversation all too well.

Eric continued. "It is different with you and I because there is a real attachment between us, and real emotions. It makes our bond stronger in a way rarely seen. It can be very useful, Sookie. The King recognized the intensity of our relationship when you came back for me when I was attacked. It's nearly unheard of for a human to be so closely attuned to a vampire, even with a blood bond in place. That impressed him nearly as much as your bravery."

I pushed my hair back. "So why didn't you bother to tell me any of this before?" Irritation was nipping at my heels but I struggled to quash it. I was in information overload here but I needed to hear this.

Eric placed his hands over mine. "You weren't ready."

"What does that mean?" Irritated now, for sure.

Eric smiled at me again. "What point would it have served to tell you our blood bond was only as strong as it was because we had feelings for one another? Would you have believed me? Or would you have dismissed it and assumed it was the bond itself creating the feelings?"

Okay, good point. Would I have believed it? If I was being honest I would have to say probably not.

"I'm not sure," I answered, and even to my ears it sounded pretty pathetic.

Eric chuckled. "You had to figure it out for yourself, just as I did. And don't feel bad. I have been around a lot longer than you and it still took me a good while to accept the situation. I spent many months trying to disengage myself from you. I knew what it would mean for me if I continued to allow myself to harbor inappropriate feelings for a human."

"Caring about me is 'inappropriate'?" I asked with a touch of accusation.

"For a vampire like myself who wishes to survive, yes. You are mortal. You are short lived and fragile and can be all too easily damaged or killed. To care for you means I have to be on constant guard. You could be used as leverage against me, and I am already a target of sorts because of my position as Sheriff. I have never permitted myself such a vulnerability."

No, of course he wouldn't. I considered his predicament carefully. I knew what it felt like to be a target, even though my own experiences were a little different. But it was a terrible thing to know there was someone out there that wanted - and could - do you harm. This was Eric's reality and it made me unaccountably miserable for him. He had packed on one more burden when he decided to bind himself to me. I was forever in some kind of trouble and Eric was forever having to rescue me, many times at his own peril. Of course, I reminded myself, I had also saved his fanged tail a few times, too. Also at my own peril. We must be nuts.

"You're crazy," I told him, and he surprisingly laughed out loud.

"Possibly."

"So what do we do now?" I asked him.

Eric stood up and crossed the room, turned back to me and he was all business again. "First, you must understand that you cannot keep secrets from me, not when it involves something as important as what I found out tonight. If you are in danger, then I am as well, and I do not enjoy being in danger." He smiled ruefully. "When I don't know about it, at least."

"No problem there," I told him sullenly. "I'm fresh out of big secrets."

"And you must not fear me," Eric stated, his eyes hard. He was choosing his words carefully, dropping contractions again. "I will not hurt you; I could no more inflict harm on you than I could myself. If you harbor fear for me in your heart then you will not be able to trust me. And Sookie, I need you to trust me if we are going to be bound this tightly. It's essential."

"I do," I told him automatically though he gave me a dubious look. "I do trust you. What is it you're wanting me to do anyway?"

Eric took a step towards me, his eyes glowing. "You have to learn how to hear my call."

"Hear your call?" I repeated, not a little shocked. "You mean the way a vampire maker can call to their child?"

Eric nodded. "Similar, yes."

"You know that won't work with me." I was immune to vampire influence and for that I was grateful beyond words.

"It can work if you allow it." He sounded pretty darn certain.

I shook my head. "No, it won't. And I'm not sure I would even want to try. I don't like the idea of vampires being able to control me."

"It would only be me, Sookie," Eric said softly. "And I wouldn't call it control."

I snorted. "Call it anything you want, I don't like it. I don't want to heel."

"You said you trusted me," Eric stated, his gaze boring right through the back of my eyes.

"Would you want that?" I asked him directly, going on the offense. "Would you want me to be able to influence you or call you or whatever?"

Eric raised a corner of his mouth in a half grin. "You have no idea how much you already do."

"I'm serious," I said, frustrated.

"So am I," he replied, but then his smile faded. "You let me into your head once before, do you remember? If you can let me in once I know you can learn to do it again."

I furrowed my brow, thinking back, then gasped. "In Jackson?" I asked and he nodded. "You glamoured me, didn't you?" I stood up and stared at him with my mouth open. I knew it. I knew I hadn't just passed out from drugs and agony that night!

Eric looked at me thoughtfully. "I didn't enjoy seeing you in pain. You let me in, but it was a struggle. You're a stubborn woman." I'm glad he wasn't smiling at least.

"What did you do? And for how long?" I felt my voice raising. I wasn't thrilled with the idea that a piece of my life had been erased for good.

"I made you forget the pain, that's all. I convinced you you weren't hurting." He shrugged. "As to how long- ten minutes, maybe fifteen. Only until the wound was cleaned and you were safely in bed. I released you after everyone left."

My eyes popped. "You released me?"

"Would you rather I hadn't?" He wasn't understanding my reaction at all, I could tell.

"How long could you have kept me like that? Hypnotized?" I was outraged, and grateful and morbidly fascinated all at once.

"Once I had you under my influence...indefinitely, I suppose." He was way to matter-of-fact for my taste.

I plopped back down in the chair. I had suspected, yes, but having it confirmed was very disconcerting. I tried to remember. I remembered that vamp pulling the stake out and sucking the wound, Eric was demanding me to look at him and I was screaming and then....nothing. I woke up in my underwear under the blankets. With Eric. I snapped my eyes back to him.

"Tell me you didn't!"

Eric knew exactly what I was asking. "Of course not," he told him immediately, then grinned like a Cheshire Cat. "I'm not saying there wasn't a few minutes there when I didn't think about it, but no. I knew you would yield to me eventually, and I wanted you to remember it when you did." He paused, then shook his head, looking unhappy. "Ironic that I was the one that ended up not remembering."

I put my hand over my mouth to stifle a giggle. Another time I might have been furious about knowing Eric had glamoured me, but not tonight. All I could think of was that Eric had cared enough for me to take me away from the worst pain of my life. And even though he could have been otherwise, he had been a perfect gentlemen afterward. Or as perfect as I could expect out of him, in any case. Plus I understood a little of why his lost memories had so infuriated him. I was annoyed about losing ten minutes!

I pushed all that aside and got back to the conversation at hand. Eric wanted me to let him into my head.

"Can I have some time to think about this...about the learning to hear your call thing?" I asked, feeling almost apologetic. I didn't think Eric would do anything to harm me, but the thought still made very uneasy. If I dropped my guard for Eric, would I also be dropping it for everyone else, too? I had been bombarded with way too much information tonight. I was going to have to take a day or two or three and sort through it all.

Eric didn't speak for a minute. "Think quickly. Now that we've come to an understanding of sorts about where we stand personally, we need to consider the other matters."

Right. Like Victor. I had nearly forgotten about him. Not a smart thing. Eric went on. "Things can move fast in my world. If I need to reach you quickly, having an open channel would be an enormous asset. It has been invaluable with Pam."

I nodded and we looked at one another for a long moment. I imagined I still looked pretty pitiful sitting there in my dirt stained pajamas with the legs pulled up around my calves and my hair a little fluffy from being air dried. I raised a hand and made an attempt to smooth it.

"You're always beautiful," Eric said softly, as though he knew exactly what I was thinking. I couldn't help but smile.

"I should let you get some rest," he told me after a moment. "It's late and it's been a long night." He walked over to the couch and grabbed up his coat. "If you're agreeable I would like us to talk again tomorrow, though I'm not sure I will be able to get away from Shreveport. I have some tactical maneuvering to do."

He smiled a bit in anticipation; Eric was all about the battles, even the stealth ones. "Bill will be close if you need anything and I may send Bubba to keep watch on you as well. If any of your neighbors have pet cats they are especially fond of you might want to let them know to keep them inside for a while."

A terrible wave of pain hit me when I saw him start to pull on his jacket. Without conscious thought, I found myself on my feet in a second, panicked. Eric looked at me and froze when he saw my face, having only gotten one arm through the jacket sleeves. I felt my heart beating like butterfly wings.

"I don't want to be alone," I told him, and I didn't think I had ever spoken words more true. He didn't respond, just seemed to search my face. I took a step toward him, then stopped, gathered my resolve. "Will you stay with me tonight? At least as long as you can?"

He knew exactly what I was saying and there was a time Eric probably would have broken into a touchdown dance hearing those words. But I knew without a doubt that wouldn't be the reaction tonight. And it wasn't.

"Sookie," he said in an oddly tender voice, "I want you to be sure of what you want from me. If you're worried about your safety, there is no need. I won't allow anyone to harm you in any way if it's within my power to prevent it, I promise you. You don't need to do this to gain my loyalty. You already have it. No matter what our relationship, I will always take care of you."

I smiled slightly. "I know you will. And that's exactly why I'm asking you now." I reached my hand out to him. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

And I didn't need to ask him again. His coat fell off his arm and onto the floor and in a few long strides he was in front of me and our eyes met for a long moment. Then his lips were on mine and his arms were pulling me against him. I reached my hands up to his shoulders and then slid one around and stroked his neck as our kiss deepened. I was flooded with warmth and safety and for once I allowed myself to enjoy it fully, drown in it.

Our lips parted after a few succulent moments and Eric stepped back a bit, cupping my face in one big hand. I turned my head slightly and kissed his palm, my eyes closing in bliss. Then Eric reached down and picked me up with a big sweeping movement. He kissed me again and again, lightly, as he turned and carried me down the hallway to my bedroom.

He smiled down at me. "Scarlett and Rhett?" he asked, his eyes dancing.

I stroked his face, grinning back at him. He finally got the joke.

Chapter 10

It didn't take me long to realize that even the most treasured and vivid memories pale in comparison to the real thing.

Being in Eric's arms, feeling his hands and mouth on my body, was nothing short of exquisite. He had carried me to my bedroom and had let go of me only long enough to pull back the covers. He was now sitting on the edge of my bed and I was standing in front of him as he ran one hand underneath my pajamas, caressing my back, while he deftly popped open the buttons of my shirt with his other. He was working slowly, savoring and kissing the bare skin that was exposed little by little with each button that came undone.

I watched him, as I knew he would want, and I ran my hands along his arms and shoulders, my breathing already a little ragged. I moved my fingers to his hair and slid off the dark band that held the intricate braid in place. The braid was already mostly frayed after the events of the evening, but I found I had a powerful desire to rid him of that insignificant little band anyway. I wanted absolutely nothing between us.

I worked my fingers through his now completely loose hair and pulled him closer to me with a little sigh. He nuzzled his face into my breast, kissing and teasing, and his free hand moved down my back and glided over my bottom. He pulled a little too hard on the last remaining button on my top and it came off into his hand. He raised his eyes to mine and they were dark with desire. He dropped the little button to the floor and slid my shirt off my shoulders, pulling me to him, his hands running up my sides, making me shudder.

"I owe you some new pajamas," he said in a quiet, teasing voice. When he smiled at me I saw just how much he was enjoying our contact. Keeping my eyes on his, I knelt down in front of him on the floor and started to work on getting his own shirt free from his body. It didn't take long. I ran my hands up and down his perfect chest and leaned forward to flick my tongue on his right nipple. I felt him wrap his hands in my hair and an appreciative groan rumbled deep in his chest. I reached down and started to work on his jeans, which were definitely being tested. He would have to be wearing a belt!

"Forget the pajamas," I whispered. "I think I'll just take the payment in trade."

Eric became suddenly still and he reached down to grasp my wrists. I looked up and was surprised to find a serious expression on his face.

"Sookie," he said in a no-nonsense tone, "You shouldn't want me to have sex with you just because I owe you."

I stared at him for a long moment and he didn't move. But then his eyes lit up and a tiny smirk curved on his lips. I forced back a giggle, recognizing my own words from long ago being repeated back to me. I went back to the business of getting him free of his pants. Two could play this game. I stood up and he let me push him back onto the bed. I used one arm to cover my bare breasts, feigning modesty, and with my free hand I grabbed the end of his now unbuckled belt and quickly pulled it off; it made little snapping sounds as it came free of all the loops in his jeans. I held it up for dramatic emphasis and then tossed it onto the floor. I leaned forward and ran my hands up Eric's thighs, holding his eyes.

"I really don't care why you have sex with me," I purred, "As long as you do it."

With that, Eric growled and reached up and grabbed me under the arms, and in one swift motion I found myself on my back in the bed. Eric was nibbling my ear and my neck in between kisses. He was holding himself on one elbow and his free hand was gliding down my tummy and continuing south. I sighed deeply. I had forgotten how long his fingers were.

It wasn't long at all until Eric had divested me - and himself - of our remaining clothes. He moved down the length of my body slowly, kissing and stroking and licking until I felt like I was ready to burst into flames. I was nearly insane with wanting him but I knew Eric was a most generous lover (in all regards) and he would not rush, especially tonight. He seemed to be enjoying my pleasure greatly. Eric started making his way back up my body, he found my mouth again and we just kissed for a while, over and over. I could feel him, very ready, pressing against my leg, but he made no move to enter me. He was taking his time, maybe enjoying and committing to memory every single sensation, just as I was.

Somewhere in the fuzzy haze of passion I realized he had not yet drawn my blood, though there was no doubt he desperately wanted to. I found I could actually feel his need and his want, and with a little bit of surprise, I also felt my own very similar desires. I lifted my hands and gently pushed Eric's head aside so I could kiss him just under his ear, down his throat. He let me do this and I felt him shudder as I trailed my mouth across his shoulder.

"I want you," I whispered, closing my eyes and pressing my face against his skin, breathing in his scent.

"Oh, you will have me, my lover," Eric replied huskily. His fingers were gently moving in little circles down below and I found it nearly impossible to form the words I wanted to say.

"No," I groaned. "I want all of you." I opened my mouth a little and let my teeth drag across his skin just a bit so he would understand what I meant.

Eric stopped moving and I raised my eyes to his. I wondered briefly if my own expression was as lust filled as his. I was sure it was.

"Eric," I said quietly. With that one word, I was telling him I wanted to have his blood. Not because I was injured and needed it, not because I was being tricked or forced, but because I cared for him, trusted him. I was telling him I wanted to be bonded to him, and him to me. My desire for him at this moment was absolute. I wanted desperately to keep part of this magnificent creature inside me, always.

Eric closed his eyes tightly for a few moments, whispered something that sounded almost reverent in a language I didn't recognize, then opened his eyes and reached up to stroke my hair back, kissing me delicately on the forehead.

"Sookie," he whispered, and that one word told me everything I needed to hear.

I turned my mouth back to his shoulder and kissed it. He was strong and solid, and I loved the way his muscles worked under his skin. I reached my hand around and under his arm and held him tightly. Then I bit hard and I heard Eric moan long and deep.

I closed my mouth over the wound and tasted the sweet and thick blood that was all Eric as it flowed between my teeth. My eyes fluttered shut as I drank him into me and I felt Eric lift my free arm over my head. He kissed the inside of my wrist several times and I felt a small pain as his fangs pierced my flesh. I made a noise of pleasure as he drew on the wound, and I sucked hard on his shoulder. And then, as happened once before, I was assailed with visions.

I saw myself clawing out of the ground in a barren and frozen wasteland. I saw jagged rocks and chunks of ice jutting up from the earth, and I saw deep craters scar the land. I saw myself lost there, and alone. I saw snow begin to fall, lightly at first, then more and more until finally I found myself surrounded by a storm of white flakes that enveloped my vision. Then the blizzard changed and became rain, melting the snow, creating a terrible fast moving river all around me. The water got higher and higher until I was swept away, and I crashed against the sharp rocks, one after another, and I began to bleed. My blood poured into the river, turning the water red. I was carried off along the river of blood and I saw one of the giant craters in the earth directly in my path. Then I was falling, falling and I had a moment of terror as I spiraled into the depths. But then I found myself being held by invisible hands and flying up and away, back to safety...

The visions suddenly ended and I was back in The Moment. Eric's lips were on mine, and we were kissing one another with a wild hunger. I could taste my own blood mingling with his. He reached down and hitched my leg up around his hip and I molded myself against him. I couldn't get close enough to him fast enough and he was certainly feeling the same way. He moved over me, positioning his body to take me fully. He broke off our kiss without warning, leaving me gasping. He gazed into my face and I understood he wanted to be looking in my eyes when we finally joined. A belated awareness suddenly hit me and I felt my body tense.

Eric's eyes widened. "What's wrong?" he asked me softly and I immediately shook my head to belay any fears. I put my hands on either side of his face and I looked up at him with wonderment.

"Nothing," I said. "Everything is very right. I just realized....that this will be the first time I've made love to you."

Eric searched my face for a long moment, then a slow smile spread across his face and his eyes flashed. His lips hovered just over mine when he replied.

"Then I will have to make certain it's memorable."

And he did.

Chapter 11

Time had passed far too quickly.

Eric and I had shared pleasure (more than once) and now I was lying beside him, my head tucked comfortably into the nook of his arm and shoulder. I had one arm lying on his chest, absently twirling a finger into the soft, curly blond hair there and my leg was intertwined with his. I was ridiculously comfortably; it was like we were made to fit together. I was sated and utterly and completely spent, on many levels.

I was thinking back on the evening and having some trouble wrapping my head around everything that had happened. I could scarcely believe Eric and I had come to this point and, more pertinently, that I had come to have such a drastic shift in my ethos. Yesterday I was pretty sure of the things I wanted in my life - and even more sure of the things I didn't. Now it was all turned upside down and I knew I would have to take some time to come to grips with my new reality. But that task wasn't as scary or daunting as I would have once believed; in fact, I was looking forward to it in a strange way. Now that I had finally accepted what my unconscious had been trying to tell me, I felt very free. Admitting that I cared for and needed Eric had been so simple, really, and it almost amused me now that I had wasted so much time and effort fighting it.

I felt Eric's fingers twist into my hair and I snuggled closer to him and sighed. We had been lying in silence for many minutes, enjoying the afterglow of our (quite memorable) lovemaking. I smiled. Eric had made good on his promise, indeed. I had no desire to move or speak, content as I was. But Eric - being Eric - wasn't about to let me get off that easy.

"What are you thinking?" he asked me, curiosity evident in his voice. I loved the way his chest vibrated when he spoke. His voice, deep and smooth, was beautiful; a fitting match to the rest of him. Good heavens, but if I wasn't getting as swoony as a schoolgirl over this Viking!

"Nothing much," I replied, quite unconvincingly. I might as well have a neon light over my head flashing 'liar'. My mind was a tangle of thoughts and Eric darn well knew it. He reached over and lifted my chin so I would look at him.

"I'm feeling several emotions coming from you," he told me, looking deeply in my eyes as he spoke. He grinned after a moment. "The strongest appears to be satisfaction."

I smiled, just a bit, and buried my face back in his chest so he couldn't see me flush red. Eric was cocksure (har har) of his skills in the bedroom and I had reaffirmed his ego, quite loudly, many times tonight.

"Are you fishing for compliments?" I asked tartly. He chuckled and stroked my hair.

"Of course not, but I do enjoy knowing I've done my job well."

I rolled my eyes even though I knew he couldn't see my face. I hugged him a little tighter. "You're amazing," I told him honestly and I could feel a swell of pride roll off of him. No way could I let that go unchecked.

"But then again," I continued dismissively "who wouldn't be if they had a thousand years to practice technique?"

Eric was completely still for a moment, then he grunted and reached over and hauled me on top of him so I was straddling his waist.

"You're hard to impress," he told me, smiling. His eyes took in my body while he ran his hands up and down my sides. He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his mouth. He kissed the spot on my wrist where he had taken my blood earlier. The wounds were already almost completely healed, thanks in large part to the vampire blood now running through my body. Which reminded me, I had an apology to make.

"Eric," I began, then looked down sheepishly. "I'm sorry about not, uh, helping you that night you drove me home from Shreveport." I peeked up and saw Eric had a confused look.

"You know, when that Were shot you. I should have given you blood when you were healing."

Eric just looked at me for a good little while, then his lip twitched a few times like he was fighting a smile. Finally, as though he couldn't hold it in any longer, he just roared with laughter.

This was not the response I had anticipated. In fact, it was pretty unsettling to be laughed at when you were trying to offer someone an apology! I glared at him, irritated.

"What?" I asked him, biting off the word. Eric stopped laughing, mostly, but his eyes were still amused.

"Dearest one," he said with a grin. "I may not have been hurting quite as much as I let on."

My eyes went wide. This had been a big part of my earlier epiphany. I had felt truly guilty about being so selfish and now he tells me it was all just a show?

"You!" I said, raising my voice a little. I smacked both my hands against his chest. "You are so bad!" He just grinned bigger and reached out to catch my wrists before I whacked him again.

"I am," he agreed. Then he pulled me down so my cheek was pressing on his chest just under his chin. "But I agree. You still should have given me blood." His hand moved under my hair to stroke my neck in a seductive manner and he moved a bit under me. "You can make up for it now if you like."

It was comforting to know some things would never, ever change.

I closed my eyes, ignoring his innuendo, and breathed in Eric's unique scent. I could feel his fingers trailing along the skin on my back. A whiff of cold air drifted into the room, and I suspected the fire had finally burnt itself out. I shivered and Eric rearranged us a bit, moving me onto my side so I was facing him and then pulling the blanket over us. He propped himself up on an elbow so he was peering down at me.

"Better?" he asked.

"Perfect," I replied, and I wasn't just talking about the warmth. In my contentment, my eyes fluttered shut.

"Getting sleepy?" Eric asked

I opened my eyes. "A little," I answered honestly. "I've had a busy day, what with spilling trade secrets and inciting vampire wrath and almost freezing to death."

Eric chuckled.

"At least I'm all healed up." I did a mental inventory of all the aches and pains and cuts and bruises I had acquired over the course of the evening. Everything was nice and healed, courtesy of the Viking blood.

"I should hope so," Eric said, sounding amused. Then he turned serious. "Please be careful not to get carried away."

I smiled slyly. "I've had your blood before. I think I can handle it."

Eric raised his eyebrows but didn't speak. I tilted my head in confusion then raised up a little and looked down at myself for the first time and gasped. I was glowing like the full moon. I let my head fall heavily back on the pillow and I stared up at the ceiling. If Eric's blood had been alcohol I'd be three sheets to the wind right now.

"Wow," I said.

"I enjoyed it greatly," Eric said, and I turned back to face him. He was smiling again and he kissed me softly. "But for a moment there I thought we were going to have an accidental incident."

"Excuse me?"

Eric shrugged. "It happens sometimes. When too much blood is taken and given."

My eyes went round. "You mean..an accidental turning?"

Eric nodded and I closed my eyes. I remembered Bill telling me about that once, how sometimes people are turned unintentionally. And as much as Eric and I had swapped it probably wouldn't be terribly hard to accomplish. I shuddered.

"I won't let that happen, my lover," Eric told me. "I meant what I said earlier. That's why I pulled you back before it went too far."

I considered that. I was so lost in the moment, I didn't even remember when I stopped taking blood from Eric. I wondered if maybe the amount of blood I took could explain those crazy visions, the sensation of falling into a deep pit and then swept back to safety. And Eric had stopped me, even though I knew he had been every bit as on fire at that moment as I had been. I leaned over and gave Eric a lingering kiss.

"I trust you," I said and I realized in that moment just how much I meant it.

Eric looked at me very intently and one hand moved on my hip under the covers. We just gazed at one another for several minutes, not needing words. I was rejoicing inside at having him with me. I knew the blood bond we shared - the one I had freely chosen to renew tonight - was tugging at me, willing me to lose myself in Eric. I wanted to, and I wanted to envelop him as well, pull him into me and guard him like a precious jewel. I was so deliriously happy I wasn't sure my heart could even contain my joy. And the most amazing thing was that I knew Eric was feeling the same. This peculiar and oftentimes rocky friendship I had forged with the Viking had slowly transformed into something extraordinary. We were as one, now. And thought we hadn't yet admitted love, I knew what we felt for one another was very close.

I thought I finally understood what all the fuss over our blood bond was about, at least in part. My life was in Eric's hands, and his was in mine. Our bond was more than just pleasant feelings and the ability to sense one another's whereabouts. Something much deeper was swirling between us now, I was certain. I wasn't sure how it all worked, but I knew without a doubt if any harm would befall Eric I would take it very personally. I recalled how much it hurt me to see Siegbert abusing him, how outraged I was when that Were shot him, and that was back when I had been fighting our bond tooth and nail. I had a dreadful suspicion that if such a thing were to happen again, I would feel every kick and bullet as though I were taking it myself. It was a scary thought but I didn't retreat from it. If Eric could deal with this, so could I. How much harder it must be for him, what with me being so much more breakable!

Eric was looking at me with an odd expression I couldn't place. He leaned over and kissed me gently once more and I closed my eyes. The long and emotional night was starting to catch up with me and when Eric pulled away my eyes remained closed. I didn't want to sleep, not now. I knew Eric would have to leave soon and I didn't want to waste a single moment with him. But I was so relaxed, so warm and safe here in my bed with this ancient vampire lover of mine. The pull to just drift off into sweet dreams was almost inexorable. I breathed in and out a few times, deeply, and heard Eric whisper my name very low. I mumbled a response, feeling sleep about to claim me.

Suddenly something gripped me, hard, inside my chest. My eyes flew open and I sat bolt upright, one hand clutching my throat. I couldn't breathe, could scarcely think. My blood was pounding in my ears like thunder. I felt like someone had tied a chain around my waist and attached the other end to a speeding car and I was careening out of control, being pulled along painfully. Some instinct kicked in and wanted to jump up and start running. Maybe if I ran fast enough I could catch the car that was dragging me and then it wouldn't hurt anymore. I was terrified. Tears welled in my eyes and I felt like I was suffocating.

Then as suddenly as it started, the terrible thing that had gripped me let me go. I gasped for air and realized Eric was sitting up now, beside me, with his arms wrapped around me, rocking me, stroking my back in a soothing way. He was whispering into my hair, but my breathing was so ragged and I was crying now so I couldn't hear what he was saying. I struggled to slow my heart and I clenched my eyes shut trying to stave off the flow of tears. After a few minutes I was calmed down enough to register Eric's words.

He was apologizing.

"Sookie, my lover, I am sorry. I did not mean to hurt you. I'm here. I've got you. Please do not cry..."

I pushed back a little so I could see Eric's face. He looked nearly as pained as I felt.

"Sookie," he said.

"What did you do to me?" I demanded, though my voice was barely above a whisper.

Eric took my face in his hands gently and his eyes looked into mine.

"I called to you, my lover," he said softly.

"What?" I asked, not really understanding. "You what?" Eric was looking at me with apprehension.

I huffed out a breath and pulled away from him to give myself some space. My head was spinning. That horrible feeling, the pain, that was what it meant to be called?

I heard Eric's words to Andre in my head: 'she heels nicely.'

Oh, sweet Jesus!

"Sookie," Eric began, and I raised a hand and shook my head. I didn't want to hear anything he had to say right then. The terror of what I had just experienced was still too near. I needed a minute, but Eric wasn't in the mood to wait. He took my arms and turned my body to face him. He looked me right in the eyes. I could feel a wave of emotion coming off him and I recognized it instantly, it was so strong. Anger. At himself.

"I did not mean to hurt you," he continued, each word emphatic. "I was simply testing our bond. I was calling to you while we were lying here. I was just trying to ascertain if I could reach you now that we were so closely bound."

"Well, I guess you succeeded," I replied, and my voice was more than a little shaky. I couldn't believe it, still. This was what vampires had to deal with? That terrible pull, is that what Bill had felt when Lorena had called to him? I shook my head. Lord, it was no wonder he couldn't resist. Who could, I wondered? I looked back at Eric, feeling insanely betrayed that he would inflict that kind of torment on me.

"This is what you wanted me to learn to hear?" I asked him accusingly and before the last word had left my mouth he was already shaking his head.

"No, no. I did not intend to hurt you. I can control the strength of my call. I started out very weak, and you did not respond. I tried again, several times, a little stronger with each attempt. Sookie, I never thought my final attempt would work as it did."

"What happened?" I asked, feeling my anxiety start to seep away. I felt a chill and reached down to pull the blanket up. Eric helped me wrap it around my shoulders.

"I'm not sure," he told me, and he didn't sound happy about not knowing. "Possibly, as you were relaxing into sleep, whatever mental shields you have were lowered. That, combined with the strength of our bond, is what caused such a strong response."

"It hurt," I said.

"I know," he said quietly. "I know what it feels like. I would not inflict that on you intentionally. I won't try again, unless you agree. And even if you do, never will I place such strength behind the call."

I could hear the sincerity in his words and thanks to our bond I knew he was feeling remorseful. I nodded at him, tried to smile. He put an arm around me and tenderly lay me back down in the bed. I snuggled into the pillow and rested on my side. Eric took the same position opposite me.

"So, if you can control the strength," I began, trying to keep my voice steady, "what was that, on a scale of one to ten? Like an eleven?" I tried, and failed, to make a joke out of it.

Eric didn't answer for a moment. I got the impression he didn't want to.

"More like a five," he finally said.

Okay, definitely feeling some sympathy for Bill. I was also gaining a healthy dose of respect for what vampires had to contend with.

"Are you afraid of me?" Eric asked softly. His gaze was piercing.

I pushed away the negativity and the fear, reminded myself that I was with Eric, my blood bound lover that cared for me and protected me and saved me many times. He hadn't hurt me on purpose, I told myself sternly. I would not let myself slip back into fear and mistrust. I would not.

"No," I said firmly and to demonstrate I wriggled over to press myself against him. He turned onto his back and I nestled back into the little nook in his shoulder that seemed to be made just for my head. I held my breath. I was about to do something insane.

"Okay, try again," I stated. "But this time, turn down the juice. A lot."

Eric went absolutely still. He didn't speak or move for almost a full minute.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked me finally.

"Look, yes I'm sure. But if you don't get on with it I might change my mind. You said you wanted me to be able to hear you, right?"

"Yes," he said slowly.

"Alright then. We already know it can work, I just have to figure out how to let you in and you, obviously, need to figure out how not to scare the daylights out of me."

Eric seemed to consider that for a bit then he held me tighter against him. "Thank you for trusting me."

"I'm out of my mind," I mumbled and I felt Eric shake with silent laughter.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, then another and another. I was trying to relax, to clear my head and tear down all the shields and blocks that I had spent a lifetime building up to keep out other people's thoughts. I listened hard, tried to find some hint of Eric's call, even while a part of me was steeling myself for another onslaught of pain.

Minutes passed. Nothing happened.

"Sookie?" Eric spoke softly. I released a ragged breath in exasperation.

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling embarrassed.

"Don't be," he told me firmly. "I know this is difficult for you."

"Try again," I instructed, feeling a little bemused at giving orders to Eric.

Eric nodded and this time I concentrated not on relaxing, but on other things. I heard the wind whistling outside, heard the soft rumble of the old heater inside. I heard my own breathing, deep and even and the little ticks coming from my Grandmother's antique wind-up clock on the dresser. I let my eyes close and just when I was about to give up again I felt it.

It wasn't the terrible and frightening sensation that I had felt earlier.This was like a gentle tug, a pull that was almost natural. It reminded me of the way I would feel a desire to get a glass of water when I was thirsty. It was insistent, but not urgent. He must only be using level one, I thought to myself. I didn't move a muscle for fear of losing the call. I tried to commit it to memory. I smiled hugely against Eric's chest and tightened my grip on him.

"Did you hear me?" he asked and I nodded.

"Yes! But I didn't really hear anything, I just felt a pull."

"I'm proud of you, lover. I know you were frightened after what happened earlier."

"I was, a little," I admitted.

"But not now?"

"Nope," I answered truthfully. "Maybe we can practice again sometime." My eyes shut again of their own accord. It was way past my bedtime.

"I knew you wouldn't always fear me," Eric said after a moment.

I sighed audibly. "I really wish you wouldn't do that."

"Do what?" he asked.

"Nothing," I yawned.

"No, tell me." He was being mighty insistent. I turned my head so I was more or less looking at him.

"You're always making little remarks like that. You told me I wouldn't always be loyal to Bill, and I wouldn't always fear you. You punched that stupid kid at the gas station for making a crude remark to me, your future lover, and then you told me I'd like the blood bond." I paused because Eric had started to laugh.

"You think this is funny?" I asked, propping myself up on an elbow to look at him better.

"I was right, was I not?"

"That's not the point!" I told him. "It's irritating to have someone always trying to tell you what you will and will not do! You act like you have some crystal ball stashed away!"

Eric smirked at me. "Well, I did have a psychic once. Maybe something rubbed off."

He was hopeless. I rolled my eyes and lay my head back on his shoulder. "Yeah, I remember." I lowered my voice and did my best Eric impersonation. "It was incredible!"

He was still chuckling and I felt him nuzzle his cheek in my hair. "Are you jealous?"

"Please," I huffed. "If I was jealous of all the women you've slept with I'd be glowing lime green by now." It wasn't precisely the truth, of course. I was pretty sure I would take an unholy glee in wringing that little psychic's neck if I ever saw her.

"Good," he replied, lifting my chin to kiss me lightly. "I do not wish to make you jealous. Besides, I can hardly use the word incredible anymore in regards to past encounters. Not after having you."

"Mmmm. I like hearing that," I told him. I smiled and closed my eyes again, feeling the now-savored feelings of warmth and safety wrap around me once more. My breathing slowed and deepened. I was fighting against sleep, but it was a losing battle.

"You should sleep," Eric whispered. He started to untangle himself and I made a squeaky little noise of protest. I could barely stand the thought of being apart from him, even though I knew it was as inevitable as the dawn. I clutched at him and he stopped.

"Sookie?" he questioned and I forced myself to open my heavy eyes to look at him. He was so beautiful, I thought dreamily.

"You have to leave soon, right?" I knew my voice sounded weary and despondent.

He played with a strand of my hair. "Yes, I do. But I can stay just a while longer if you like. I didn't want to keep you from your rest."

"Don't leave me yet," I whispered and my eyes closed once again and my Viking lover held me close and stroked my hair. I was just about to drift away when I heard Eric's voice. It seemed so far away and I struggled to hear him.

"Sookie," he whispered into my hair. "You will be the last thought I have before I sleep, and the first when I wake. You will always be with me."

I wanted to respond, but I couldn't, I was too close to oblivion. I knew he would be gone when I awoke, but I also knew I would never really be without him. I felt Eric gently and quietly take my hand that was lying across his stomach. He brought it to his lips and kissed it, then laid it on his chest above his silent heart.

And for the second time in my life, I fell asleep holding hands with a vampire.


Chapter Twelve

There is nothing quite like waking up after a perfect, dreamless sleep.

No alarm clock sounded in my ears to hasten my return to consciousness. My eyes opened of their own accord and I lay in my bed, snuggled under the warm blankets, for a good long while. I was all alone and normally that wouldn't bother me, but today I felt quite lonely. My Eric had left me, as I knew he would, some time before dawn. I didn't remember him leaving, though I had no doubt he payed me a kiss before he left. At least I hope he had. As a matter of fact, he darn well better had kissed me goodbye!

I rolled onto my side and reached over to grab hold of the pillow on which Eric had laid his head. I pulled it in close, inhaled deeply and smiled. Some of his unique scent and his cologne still lingered. It helped ease the ache in my heart, if just a little. I squeezed the pillow to my chest, closed my eyes and sighed.

"Do you two need a moment alone?" said a cheerfully amused voice.

My eyes flew open and I sat bolt upright, getting a little lightheaded in the process as adrenaline jump-started my heart.

"Claudine!" I wailed, relief and irritation warring for the top spot in my emotions. With embarrassment I remembered I was very naked and I quickly pulled the covers up and tucked them under my arms

"Good morning, cousin!"

My shoulders relaxed, and I managed a small smile. It was hard to get annoyed with someone so perpetually enthusiastic, even if they were camped out in my bedroom uninvited.

I changed positions in the bed so I was sitting cross-legged and took a moment to just absorb my guardian, who was propped on the end of my bed, smiling hugely. Claudine was looking fabulous as always, this time sporting a dark purple, form fitting sweater with a lot of fuzzy stuff around the neck and sleeves. The pants that covered her long legs were tight, leaving little to the imagination. She was a six foot tall fairy diva and my personal guardian (almost-but-not-quite) angel.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, feeling uneasy. Claudine generally only popped in when trouble or danger was afoot.

Oh, okay. Right.

My still-waking brain was a little slow to remember that there was, in fact, trouble and danger lurking. Those final few hours with Eric were so sublime, so perfect, I nearly forgot I had a ruthless vampire running willy-nilly with my deep, dark secret and a plan to make me his personal property. And that was so not a good thing.

Claudine bounced up from the bed - no kidding, she actually bounced on the balls of her feet as she stood - then she disappeared into the bathroom and emerged with my bathrobe. She tossed it to me and turned around to give me some privacy. She raised a hand and examined her perfect nails as I thanked her, disentangled myself from the covers and wrapped the robe around me. As I did so, I realized I was sore in all the right places and I couldn't help but smile. I checked the clock and was a little surprised to see it was nearly two in the afternoon. Eric knew how to wear a girl out, yes indeed! It was a good thing I didn't have to be at work until four thirty.

Claudine turned back and came to stand right in front of me. She was wearing very high heels and I felt like a dwarf.

"I'm going to make you coffee," she said with a smile. "Go on, get cleaned up now. I know you need a good shower!" She winked at me, tossed her long hair and disappeared down the hall.

Well, alright then.

She was correct, of course, the warm water was much needed and felt wonderful. Claudine was such a whirlwind I was halfway through washing my hair before I realized she never did answer my question as to why she was here. I wondered how much she knew about what happened last night, besides the obvious. I assumed she knew I had entertained company, what with my waking up pajama-less and the quip about needing a shower. Not to mention my bedroom probably had the lingering scent of lust hanging in the air.

I let my mind drift to pleasant thoughts as I finished getting cleaned up and it wasn't too long before I was washed, dried and dressed in my Merlotte's winter work uniform. I pulled my hair back in a dark band and dabbed on some make-up before emerging. I could feel a silly smile plastered on my face and I didn't even care. Heck, as much as Claudine was always grinning we might actually look like kin for a change.

I walked down the hall and into the living room where my fairy cousin was patiently waiting. Her back was toward me and she was looking at the floor with her hip cocked out and her arms crossed. I winced a little when I realized what was holding her attention.

"Would you believe me if I told you I just hated the ending?" I asked, sounding abashed.

Claudine used one toe to nudge a piece of the broken Gone with the Wind video tape then laughed. She turned to me and favored me with one of her patented smiles

"I made you lunch!"

She was really, really excited about that.

"Thanks," I told her, then I remembered my manners. "If you're chilly I can light the fire."

I walked passed her to the kitchen and did a double take when I saw the spread laid out on the counter. Fruit, meat and cheese and bread, a crisp veggie platter complete with dip. The works! And coffee, as promised. Did I even have all this in my fridge? No, I know I didn't, but I wasn't going to waste time thinking about it. I was suddenly ravenous and I loaded down a plate, grabbed a cup of caffeine and placed it on the table. I headed back in to ask Claudine to join me and was just in time to see her snap her fingers and do some kind of magical fairy move. In an instant there were roaring flames in the fireplace. Hmph. Neat trick. Then a memory from the previous night slapped me upside the head and my eyes went wide.

"Were you here last night?" I demanded and though I wouldn't have thought it possible her smile actually got bigger and brighter. She clapped her hands in front of her.

"Yes!" She was giddy with excitement. "I'm so glad you asked! I'm not supposed to tell you when I do an intervention, because that would be bragging. But it would be worse to lie if you ask!"

I wasn't sure I followed all that, but I got the general idea.

"You lit my fire last night?"

She nodded. "Yes. I knew you would need the warmth when tall-and-blond got you home." Then she turned slightly more serious. Very slightly. "The whole running around in your pajamas was pretty stupid, by the way."

She walked past me as I stood there with my mouth hanging open. I regrouped and followed her to the kitchen. She plopped down in a chair and started picking at the fruit on my plate.

"If you don't eat this, I might," she told me.

I sat down, my head slowly putting the events of the previous evening together.

"What else did you do?" I asked slowly, then answered my own question. "You started the movie playing again after it was paused?"

Her smile said that was a definite yes. I kept going.

"My calendar in the bathroom. The date was wrong...."

Claudine giggled. "There were so many good quotes to choose from. I almost went with March 19th."

"Uh huh." I made a mental note to check out the runner-up quote. "So you were doing all this...why?"

Claudine made a little sandwich of cheese and ham and handed it to me. I took it. "I'm your guardian, Sook!" She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Oh! And you forgot one. I moved your coat, too." She winked at me.

I took a bite of my sandwich. I really was hungry and it tasted wonderful. I mulled things over in my head as I ate, not sure if I should be upset or not. It was really creepy thinking Claudine had been poofing around my house last night. It was even creepier to think she had possibly orchestrated my whole epiphany regarding Eric. I should be angry, right? But it was just so darn hard to get irritable with someone that stopped you from falling asleep at the wheel and had pulled you out of a burning house. It's even harder when that person is sitting across from you looking proud as a peacock. But there was part of me that was absolutely scared to death. What happened between Eric and I was so perfect, so pure, I didn't want to even think it had been a manufactured situation. But I knew Niall was not above such things. I started to feel a little sick.

"So you intervened, you said?" I asked slowly, making a concerted effort to keep my voice calm and level. "What does that mean, exactly?"

Claudine popped another little piece of fruit in her mouth then crossed her arms on the table and leaned forward.

"I know what you're thinking, cousin, and you need to knock it off right now." Claudine was still smiling, but there was something no-nonsense in her tone that made me take her quite seriously. "I was sent her to help you. I can sometimes prevent disasters, as you know, and I can sometimes even save you from some. And sometimes I can even help save you from yourself." I could have sworn her eyes actually sparkled as she spoke.

"I don't get it, " I told her and she cocked her head to the side. "If you hadn't helped me last night, would I still have...well, I mean would Eric and I have, um..." I know what I wanted to ask: Would I still have had the most incredible night of my life with Eric? But I couldn't finish. I felt like an idiot.

Claudine just smiled. Big shocker there. "I can't manipulate your thoughts or emotions or actions. That isn't what I do! All I did was help you see what you already knew and what you decided to do after that was all on you!"

There was no deceit in her voice or in her eyes and I felt instantly better. A big balloon of tension seemed to evaporate in a big whoosh. It was real. What happened between Eric and I was real, not contrived through fairy magic. As I thought about it I got a little angry at myself. Why did I have some insecure need to have my own feelings validated by Claudine, anyway? I could have kicked my own ass just then.

"So why did you decide to pop in last night?" I asked, honestly curious. "Just feeling helpful?"

Claudine looked around, embarrassed. "You're my first assignment," she began, her voice as weak as I'd ever heard it. "I'm still learning how to be a guardian and you are most difficult to keep up with."

"Claudine," I told her softly and reached across the table to touch her hand. "You are doing a great job. I couldn't ask for a better fairy Godmother!" I grinned like a fool and she did the same.

"I'm glad you think so. I am doing my best. But still, I could use some help. And Eric Northman is a formidable vampire. He has protected your life several times when I was unable to get to you. He would not have done that if he didn't sincerely care for you. Believe me, I have known my share of vampires!" she shuddered and I wondered how many she had been forced to fend off. "I hope I didn't do wrong."

I considered that as I grabbed a celery stick and coated it with some veggie dip. "I don't think you did wrong, Claudine. And I guess I should say thanks."

"You are very welcome!" I had a feeling I had just made her day.

I nibbled at some more of my lunch in silence for a few minutes. I had a million questions for Claudine, but wasn't sure if I should ask them. I had no idea how much Claudine knew about what happened last night, in regards to Victor. I decided to start slow and see how it went. I checked the clock and was pleased to see I still had a while before I had to be leaving for the bar.

"I have to ask - were you here in the house the whole night?"

Claudine looked shocked. "Of course not! I would never spy on you. I only got here when I knew you were in distress. I realized it was because you had argued with your vampire, and that's when I decided to intervene. As soon as he brought you back home and I knew you were safe I left."

Ah. So she didn't know about the events with Victor. "Did Niall know you were here last night?" I asked as casually as I could. Claudine shook her head.

"No. He's not here right now."

I nodded. Apparently Great-Grandfather was off in one of those 'Faeries Only' zones I had heard about. I couldn't even begin to imagine what such a place would look like. I was getting visions of woods and bubbling brooks and rainbows and unicorns, oh my!

"Was there a reason you asked?" Claudine interrupted my thoughts. "Would you like to see him? I'm sure he would love to hear from you."

"Claudine," I said, ignoring her question. "Do you and I have any kind of, well, like a guardian - guardianee confidentiality clause in our relationship?" I watched her carefully and noticed she was doing the same to me.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Sookie?"

"I'm not sure. I have more of a hypothetical question for you, but it's not something I want repeated."

"Claudine leaned back in her chair and was silent for a moment. "If you tell me something and ask me to keep it private I can't betray your confidence. I mean, I could, but I would have to take a step or two backward."

"And you don't want to do that?" I pressed. She shook her head, and her eyes went wide.

"Oh, no. Every step is a long process, to lose any would be just terrible."

I took a deep breath. I needed to talk to someone about what happened last night with Victor and Claudine, exuberant and cheerful and bouncy as she was, might just be my best bet. I looked at my gorgeous faerie cousin and hoped I wasn't wrong about her.

"I'm curious," I began, never taking my eyes off the faerie. "And this is just a hypothetical question, remember?" Claudine nodded, but in such a way that I knew I wasn't fooling her. "If I knew someone was planning to hurt me what would you do?"

Claudine's perfect lips parted a big and her dark eyes went round. "I can't kill anyone for you."

"I know, I know. Too many steps backwards." I remembered her telling me that was why she couldn't kill Bill for me after I learned of his betrayal. Not that I'd asked, of course! "But what about Niall?"

Claudine looked at me closely. "If someone is out to harm you, Sookie, you must tell Niall."

"That's why I'm asking you: what would he do?"

"It would depend on who the person was that was trying to harm you," she said simply.

"Let's say it's a vampire."

"Niall would kill him, of course." She said this as though I were a little slow for even asking.

"And then what?" I pushed. "That would be the end of it?" I knew it wouldn't be. Something had prevented me from calling my great-grandfather last night. Some instinct kicked in that made me physically unable to even touch the button on the phone. I didn't understand it, but somehow, I trusted it.

Claudine, I noticed, was suddenly looking mighty uncomfortable. She even fidgeted in the chair a bit. I raised my eyebrows, waiting.

"Depending on who the vampire was, there would be varying consequences. Niall is very powerful, but even he can't kill without penalty. If it was a vampire with little or no power, he could be simply fined- and for Niall that would be no hardship. On the other extreme, killing a vampire with position or power, especially one in the hierarchy, could easily incite a war."

"War?" I repeated, frowning.

Claudine nodded vigorously. "Oh, yes. That's how one of the last wars started. A vampire killed a middle ranking member of the Fae royalty, and the Fae responded with a vengeance kill on a vampire Queen. This infuriated the vampires. They believed the killing of a Queen to satisfy a blood debt owed on a lower ranking Fae was unfair, so they struck again. In the end there were many deaths on both sides."

"That sounds crazy!" It reminded me of one of Jason's mob movies.

Claudine shrugged. "Balance must be kept."

"And Niall would risk something like that happening again? Over me?"

"Oh, yes."

"Why?" I breathed. I knew Niall was fond of me, but we had barely met. And I was, after all, just his mortal great-granddaughter.

"I'm not allowed to tell you that," she said sadly, but with conviction.

Fair enough. I changed direction quickly. Claudine was giving me a lot more information than she realized and I wanted to keep the conversation going as long as I could.

"So what would happen, if the Fae and the vamps decided to battle it out? How does that work? Would everyone get involved, or do you have like an army?"

Claudine smiled, and I think she was relieved I hadn't pressed her when she said she couldn't tell me why I was so important to Niall.

"We have no army. The ranks of the Fae have been reduced over the centuries, though we still have great power. If we were to go to war, either with vampires or another group, we would all be duty bound to fight, myself included. It's the same with vampires and shifters and weres and the other supernatural groups. We all tolerate one another to varying degrees, and we can even work together at times, but if it comes to a war, we will all stand with our own kind, even unto death."

Whoa.

I slumped where I sat, and my eyes closed and I said a silent prayer. To think Niall would kill for me, even knowing it could start a war was bad enough. But to think that Claudine and Claude could be brought into the mess, that they could be forced to risk their lives, was numbing. And I thought about Eric and Pam and what Claudine said about standing with their own kind. Eric told me once if it ever came to war again with the Fae the first one he would take out was Niall. The thought of Eric and Pam and Bill fighting to the death with my Fae family gave me a sick feeling.

"Sookie," Claudine pulled me back from my contemplation. "I made you a promise that I would keep your confidence, but if you suspect you are in danger, you really need to talk to Niall. I do as much as I can, but I'm far from perfect. We can't risk losing you."

She stood suddenly, and smoothed her tight pants and shook out her hair. She beamed at me.

"You're leaving?" I asked, and I stood up myself.

"Yes, I have to meet Claude at the club to discuss some mundane business difficulties and," she cocked her head to the side and listened, "it sounds like you have company, so I'll have to see you later!" She gave me a big hug then stepped back. "You remember what I said, Sook!" Then with a little pop she was gone. I shook my head. I felt like the only person in the world that didn't have the ability to make a dramatic exit.

As it turned out, my company was actually my roommate. Within seconds of Claudine's departure, I heard a key turn in the back door and Amelia bounded in, a small duffle bag hanging off one shoulder that caused her to lean a bit to one side. I looked behind her, expecting to see Octavia, but Amelia turned, shut the door and dropped the bag on the floor. She walked over and sat heavily down on the couch, and sighed loudly.

"It feels so good to be home," she said, leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

I grinned. "Welcome back, witch."

"Thanks telepath," she replied, smiling but not bothering to open her eyes. "Did you have a good night off?"

"It was...real interesting," I told her. "Where's Octavia?"

Amelia was broadcasting like crazy, so I knew the older witch had dropped Amelia off and taken the car into town to pick up a prescription at the drugstore before I heard the words.

Amelia opened her eyes and leaned forward. She gave a little gasp and jumped up and crossed the room. I sighed.

"What did you do?" she asked, sounding horrified as she stared at the broken VCR tape on the floor. I really needed to get that cleaned up, it was becoming quite the conversation piece. I went to grab a broom and dustpan and Amelia dogged my steps.

"Okay, spill. What happened last night? You sounded strange on the phone."

I sighed and I started cleaning up the mess. "Nothing. It was just a really crazy night. I guess I got a little emotional."

"Uh huh." The witch did not sound convinced. She followed me when I went into the kitchen to dump the remains in the trash. When I turned around she was holding two empty True Blood bottles, one in each hand. Oh hell.

"Crazy night, I bet!" I let myself hear her thoughts, and was surprised to find that she thought Bill had been my guest.

I took the bottles from her and sat them back down on the counter. "Eric came by last night. He brought me a check. The money I was owed from Rhodes."

Amelia's eyes lit up. "Eric, huh?"

"Yes," I said tartly and sat down at the kitchen table. Amelia let it go, but I had to smile when I picked up on the visuals she was getting in her head. Some of them weren't too far off. She eyed the food on the counter.

"Where did all this come from?" she asked, grabbing a plate and filling it up.

"Claudine," I said and Amelia rolled her eyes.

She sat down across from me and started eating like she hadn't had a bite in days.

"So how was your trip?" I asked conversationally. Amelia nodded and held up one finger while she finished chewing.

"It was unbelievable!" She enunciated each syllable. "We were just going there to socialize, you know. Talk shop with some of Octavia's friends, have dinner and all. But then right as we were about to sit down to eat this witch shows up - she was invited, but the person she brought with her wasn't." Amelia could not look more excited. She held her hands up in front of her. "Baako Edusai."

She was clearly expecting a reaction. I stared at her blankly. Her face crumbled.

"I guess you don't know him," she stated blandly. I shook my head.

"I guess he's a big shot in the witch community?"

Amelia let out a long breath. "He's more than that. He's a legend. I've heard about him, and read about him and studied him, but I never thought I'd get to meet him! He's from somewhere in Africa, but he travels around a lot. He was in New Orleans to do some work and he invited our group to tag along. I swear, just watching him probably accelerated my studies by years!"

"What does he do?" I asked. I was only mildly curious, but this was clearly something that meant a great deal to Amelia so I wanted to be supportive.

"He's a spellbinder," she said. "And one of the best. He does all kinds of enchants and charms. He gets paid big money for it, too. You wouldn't believe what vamps are paying for his services now."

"Such as?"

"Okay, he was telling us about this vampire King - he didn't say which one - that is so paranoid about getting that virus, the one that makes them weak, that he won't feed off humans anymore."

My eyes went wide. He must be very paranoid indeed. Vampires loved their drinks on tap. Amelia smirked.

"I guess he got it a few years ago and now he's really careful. So anyway, he bought this goblet and he had Baako put a spell on it. If any contaminated blood touches it, the goblet turns blue. So now this King will drain human blood into the goblet and drink only from there. Pretty crazy, huh?"

"Yeah, it is," I agreed. "But there can't be too many paranoid vamps out there, is there?"

Amelia shook her head. "Not really, but he can make some fat cash off the ones that are, since everyone knows he's the best at things like that. Mostly Baako does enchants for supe ceremonies, the big deal events like births and marriages and burial rituals. But here is the best thing," she leaned forward and her voice lowered, and I felt a swell of pride in her mind "Baako is a scavenger." She giggled like mad. "Of course, no one would dare call him that to his face!"

My brow crinkled. "You lost me. What's a scavenger?"

Amelia stood up and started gathering the empty plates and napkins from the table. I sensed a cleaning frenzy coming on.

"A scavenger - it's a derogatory term for a witch that is born without natural magical power. Someone that has to study and train to acquire the ability." Her head raised a fraction. "Someone like me."

"Ah." It was the only thing I could think of to say and I didn't need to ask anything more. Amelia was pretty passionate about this, and she was broadcasting like crazy. I could see that she was very proud of what she had accomplished, and it angered her that she was looked down on by others in her world, those that had innate magic. I got a vision directly from her head. She was thinking that if she ever became as powerful as Baako she would have the word SCAVENGER tattooed on her butt and would moon everyone that had ever been snotty to her. I chuckled.

"You go girl," I whispered. She looked at me from across the room. She was already running water in the sink to take care of the dishes.

"Well, it's just not fair, you know?" She was scrubbing a plate much harder than was necessary. "It's like those people in school that never have to study but still get straight A's. Sure, they might be naturally smart, but they never learn how to study and organize their time. So the people that actually have to work to get those grades are really better off in the long run, right?"

"Sure," I agreed with her. I could read in her head she wasn't quite as confident in her superiority as she was trying to make out. There was a part of her that wished desperately she had some natural born magic of her own. She was jealous, but she would never admit it and I would never call her on it. I raised my shields again at full strength, feeling guilty about traipsing around in my friend's head. (even if her mind was like an open door, practically inviting me in!)

Amelia kept going. She was really on a roll now. "I was lucky that Octavia agreed to take me on. She's a great mentor, but she was born with the magical ability and a lot of them won't deal with people like me, the ones without the essential spark." She said the final words with more than a touch of sarcasm and distaste. I nodded, then froze. I had heard those words before.

"What did you just say?" I asked.

Amelia frowned. "That I was lucky to have Octavia?"

"No, about the spark."

"Oh. Nothing. That's just a term we use - well, I don't use it - to categorize people born with magical abilities. Just because a person is born with magic doesn't mean they can ever learn to use it. The magic just kind of sits there, dormant. But if someone has the essential spark, as they call it, it means that person has managed to activate their magical abilities, turn it on. And after that happens they can move forward if they want to."

"Move forward?" I asked, curiosity piquing.

Amelia shrugged. "Yeah. Move forward with training. It's all really ridiculous, in my opinion, the way they want to put people into categories and give them labels. People like Baako prove that you don't need to be a natural-born to be powerful and...."

Amelia had crossed the line into rant, and I let her go on, tuned her out. I was thinking about something else, about the first meeting I had with Niall and how he had told me the essential spark had passed Jason by. I thought it was just a nice way of saying Jason was selfish and unappreciative, but now I wondered if Niall had meant something else entirely.

A loud rap on the door made me jump. My house was a popular place today, it seemed.

"I'll get it," I said, since Amelia was still up to her elbows in bubbles.

I was only slightly surprised to find a young man in a private courier uniform standing on my porch. I smiled as I signed for the three packages, knowing even before I saw the Fangtasia return address who was the sender. A lot of Eric's trips to my house seemed to culminate in deliveries the following day, but I couldn't begin to imagine what the Viking had decided to send this time. All three boxes were wrapped in basic brown paper and were of varying sizes.

I thanked the delivery guy and brought the boxes into the kitchen where Amelia had already finished up the dishes and was now putting plastic wrap over the remaining food.

"What did you get?" she asked, coming closer.

"I have no idea," I told her honestly. I slid the largest package across the table toward the witch. She immediately began tearing paper off one box as I worked on another one. We were both smiling. It was like Christmas again!

I felt my cheeks go red when I saw what was in the first box. New pajamas and definitely not of the same style, fabric and coverage as the ones I had worn last night. It wasn't lingerie, thank God, but it was sure on the sexy side. He sent me a two piece set, with (very) short shorts and a low-cut top with spaghetti straps. It was silky and clingy and (of course) bright red. I noticed Amelia looking at me. She didn't say anything, just raised her eyebrows and smirked.

I put the pj's back in the box and kept my head down as I opened the next box. About halfway through I heard Amelia hiss.

"Wow."

"What?" I asked. She was staring into the box looking a little mesmerized. She pushed the open package over to me.

Wow was right. Eric had sent me jewelry. A lot of jewelry. A couple necklaces, one delicate and the other thick, several earrings, and some bangle bracelets. I picked up each piece slowly and carefully, admiring them. They were gorgeous, no doubt, and I'm sure it cost a pretty penny, but that wasn't the most remarkable thing about them. They were all silver.

"So why would a vampire send you silver jewelry?" Amelia wondered out loud. She reached over and picked up the bracelets and tried them on. "He's not into S&M is he?"

I choked out a little laugh and held my hand out. Amelia pulled off the bracelets and dropped them into my palm. I put everything into the box with the red silk pajamas.

"I have no idea," I told her. I was lying, of course. I knew exactly why Eric had sent me silver. He might as well have included a note that said 'In case of emergency'.

Amelia had already moved on. "What's in the last box?"

I was glad I opened this one last. I shook my head and laughed as I held up a brand new copy of Gone with the Wind. There was a folded note included.

Try not to break this one, lover. I would like to finish watching this with you another time, and I would like you to wear my present when we do.

Not the silver!

-E

I folded the note back and held it up to my chest briefly. I could not keep the grin off my face. Amelia was practically ready to explode.

"Please, just answer this one question," she begged.

"Sure, why not," I answered. I was in a great mood all of a sudden.

"Is he as good as he looks?" She was nearly salivating with curiosity.

"Better," I told her. "Much, much better."

I turned on my heel, box of goodies in hand, and marched down the hall to my bedroom, leaving Amelia grinning in the kitchen. She was happy for me and I was happy for me and I had presents from Eric! Life was pretty good until I noticed the clock. Sam would not be happy for me if I was late for my shift. I had to boogie.

I dropped the package on my bed and jogged down the hall and grabbed my purse and coat. I said good-bye to Amelia, opened the door and then stopped. I went back to my room and retrieved a few silver bracelets and slid them on. After a brief hesitation I popped in some silver stud earrings and slipped on the thinner of the silver necklaces.

Girl can't be too careful these days, right?

Chapter Thirteen

The drive to work had seemed to fly by. I hadn't even bothered turning on the radio in the car as I drove; my own thoughts had kept me plenty entertained. Once I had shut the car door and got myself buckled in, it had hit me hard that I was alone for the first time since I had woken up today. No fairy guardian, no roommates, just little ol' me. So I had a few minutes to think and get my head together. There was a lot to take in - my relationship with Eric (as yet undefined but certainly changed) the problem with Victor and what he may or may not decide to do with me. (kill me, bite me, ignore me) the peculiar conversations with both Claudine and Amelia, in which both gave me new insights and information, but in the process also opened up a whole new realm of questions. I had been thinking on some of those things as I pulled into Merlotte's and got ready to start my shift.

Overall, I had a lot to chew on, some very, very big and important things. But try as I might, I couldn't stop my mind from going back, time and again, to the Sheriff of Area Five. I kept remembering how wonderful he felt against my bare skin, how beautiful his eyes looked when we were in the middle of our lovemaking. I was trying not to think about him, I was trying hard, but I was failing.

I was having trouble concentrating on the simplest of tasks tonight. Twice I had brought the wrong order to the wrong table and I had even managed to spill a beer on the lap of a college girl that was on her first date with a guy she really liked (Got that from her head, also got her stream of unspoken obscenities). After a few hours of various scatterbrained antics on my part, Sam told me to take a break and I didn't argue. He kept looking at me, and I think he knew something was up, but bless him, he didn't ask. We hadn't been alone at all, though, so maybe he was just waiting for a better time to approach me. I wasn't sure what I would tell him. Sam was my friend and I didn't want to lie, but some things are just simply better left unsaid. (I should have heeded that advice last night and saved myself a truckload of trouble)

And that brought me here, taking a break out back of Merlotte's. It was chilly, but not so bad as last night. The snow was still around. There was just a little accumulation, but it was enough to keep most people at home. I frowned. My tips would be minimal.

I stood outside in the brisk air, hands in my coat pockets, and stared out into the sky. The sun was just about to set, and I felt a warmth stir in my heart. Eric would be rising any minute now. He told me I would be the first thought he had when he woke, and I hoped that was more than just an idle and meaningless whispering. I stood there a bit longer than I really should have as I waited for the last rays of the day to fade away. Just as dark descended I closed my eyes, pictured Eric's face and smiled. I would like to think he was doing the same thing about me at the same moment.

I forced myself to calm down, reminded myself I had customers that were paying for attentive service, and I walked back inside. I shrugged off my coat and plastered my best smile on my face and went back to work. Sam touched my arm as I walked past him and I turned to him.

"You okay?" he asked me quietly.

"I'm great, Sam. Just have some things on my mind. I'm sorry about that mess with the beer." Sam had waived the bill for that girl and her date.

My boss just smiled, but there was concern in his eyes. "I'm not worried about that, I'm worried about you."

That made two of us. But Sam didn't need my drama.

"I'm fine, really." Any further conversation was halted as I heard my name being called. I winked at my boss. "I need to check my tables."

The next several hours were typical blur of beer and baskets and busing. About eight thirty or so the door opened and I was only a little surprised to see Bill walk in. But the vampire he walked in with was a definite shock. I recognized him immediately as Russell Edgington, King of Mississippi and he was sporting a full length coat and hat and carrying what looked like a briefcase. The two vampires sat down in my section and I headed over, hoping I didn't look as confused as I felt seeing those two together.

Bill acknowledged me with the slightest of smiles and a nod, but the King stood up and favored me with a huge grin and a flourishy little bow.

"Ah, Miss Stackhouse, it's wonderful to see you again." He was playing the southern gentleman, again. It was hokey, but somehow it suited him. I inclined my head respectfully.

"It's nice to see you, too Mr. Edgington. I'm real surprised to see you here in Bon Temps."

The king laughed and sat back down. "I was in New Orleans to meet some business associates and I decided to take a quick stop to come see Bill."

I looked at Bill but his face gave away nothing and I was at a loss. The situation was just altogether weird. Bill had been tortured at Russell's compound, Russell had allowed said torture, and I had broken in and killed the torturer and dumped her in his pool.

And everybody is okay with that...? It appeared so.

Well, alrighty then.

"So what I get for you gentlemen this evening?" I asked pleasantly. Bill ordered a bottle of O positive (he still orders my blood type, which I thought was kinda sweet in a creepy way) and Russell opted for A negative. I did a quick check of my other tables then went to heat up the blood.

"Who is that with Bill?" Sam asked me and I told him. He didn't look too happy, but I could hardly blame him. The last time a vampire king was in town Sam had been bound to the back of his own truck in the parking lot of his own bar with prospects of being killed.

"Don't worry," I assured him. "I don't think they will be staying long."

My boss didn't look convinced, and of course I really had no idea how long the vampires would be here. I was only guessing, but as it turned out I'd been right. When I was on my way back to their table I saw Bill get up and head for the door, a phone at his ear. I looked after him for just a minute before sitting the blood on the table for Russell.

"Bill had to take a call," the King told me, even though I hadn't asked. He was looking at me with a strange expression, almost confused, like he was trying to figure out a puzzle. I just smiled.

"Are you staying in Louisiana long?" I asked, trying to sound casual. Russell took a swig of the blood and then shook his head.

"No. As a matter of fact I'm heading back home as soon in as I finish up my business with Bill. I went to Shreveport to pay a visit to your Sheriff last night, but I'm afraid I missed him."

"Oh." I couldn't think of another thing to say. I knew my cheeks were turning red. Russell's eyes widened a bit at my reaction and he leaned forward slightly.

"Bill is going to be doing some work for me," he explained, though once again I hadn't asked. It was very odd to have a vampire, especially a vampire king, volunteer information like this. I wondered if maybe being an old married man now had softened him. Russell continued. "I needed some help with a new computer system I'm setting up and Felipe' was gracious enough to let me hire Bill." I wondered how big a cut of Bill's money Felipe' would be graciously accepting.

I grinned my crazy grin. Russell was still looking at me with that confused expression. "Well, that's just great. Bill knows his stuff."

"I'm glad you think so," said that unmistakable cool voice. My former boyfriend had slipped back in and was standing right at my shoulder. I hesitated, then moved aside a little bit so Bill could slide back in his seat. Russell placed the briefcase on the table and snapped open the latches. That was my cue to leave.

"Let me know if y'all need a refill."

I hustled away after that, only returning to their table a couple times to check up on their drinks. The two vampires were all business now, hunkered down over some paperwork, and talking in voices so low no human could possibly hear a word. They finished up whatever they were discussing after about an hour or so and Russell came to find me just before he departed.

"It was a pleasure, Miss Stackhouse," he told me in his southern drawl. "I hope to see you again sometime. And please do give my regards to Eric."

I flushed. I wondered if my thing with Eric had been broadcast on KDED. I wouldn't put it past Pam.

"Yes sir," I said with a smile "I will do that, if I see him." I put an emphasis on the if. "And it was nice to see you, too."

The King of Mississippi smiled gently, gave a little nod and headed for the door. Bill remained parked at the table, I noticed. I did another round at my tables then wandered over to him.

"That was a little weird," I said as quietly as I could. Bill nodded but his eyes didn't touch my face. I looked down and saw he was staring at the silver bracelets on my wrist. Crap.

"Sookie," he said, raising his gaze "I spoke to Pam, she relayed a message from Eric. He would like me to escort you home tonight when you get off work."

Double crap. Bill's face was calm, but I knew him well enough to know he wasn't happy.

"I don't know what's going on, Sookie," he continued, "And I'm guessing you're going to tell me it's nothing and not to worry."

That was, actually, exactly what I was planning to tell him.

"I don't know what's going on either, Bill," I told him and that was pretty close to the truth. I hadn't heard a peep from Eric tonight so I had no clue what, if anything, he had discovered concerning Victor. I looked around and saw one of the regulars hold up an empty glass. "I got to get back to work. You really don't have to hang around here all night. I'm sure I'll be fine."

Bill sat back purposefully and his face locked down. "Yes, I really do have to hang around here. And I will see you home."

There was no arguing when Bill got that look, so I just nodded and hurried over to tend my other customers. I was having more and more difficulty maintaining my perky waitress routine as the night wore on. At some point Bill left, but I knew he was probably just outside in his car waiting for me. I felt terrible about the situation with my ex. I had a feeling that Bill knew Eric had stayed at my house last night. Bill swore he still wanted to be with me, so that had to have cut deep. And despite our history, I felt for him. I hated remembering how that awful Selah would sometimes answer the phone at Bill's house when I called at night. And how much more would it have sucked if I had to work for and take orders from Selah? The thought made me shudder. The whole situation must be eating Bill up from the inside out. I just hated that.

The rest of my night went by slowly, but finally the last person left and Sam locked up the front door. We talked some while we cleaned up and re-stocked, but I wasn't really in the chit-chatty mood. Sam picked up on that and didn't try to force conversation. That was one of the things I really liked about my boss. I could always be myself around Sam, I never felt like I had to justify myself or my moods to him. Most of the time, at least.

I was right about the tips, too. Even after I added in my hourly waitress salary I barely made minimum wage tonight. And I wouldn't have made that if not for Russell tipping me a twenty. I hoped the snow melted soon.

When the last salt shaker was topped off and all the napkin holders had been filled, I trudged back to Sam's office and grabbed my coat and purse. I hollered out to Sam to let him know I was leaving and went outside to find Bill leaning against my car. I looked around.

"Where's your car?" I asked.

"Russell's driver brought us here tonight."

Oh, just great. "You should've stayed inside. It's too cold to just stand out here."

Bill dismissed my admonition with a wave of his hand. "It's fine. Would you like me to drive?"

I knew he wasn't asking to drive because he was male, he was just showing consideration for me since I'd been on my feet all night. I knew it would make him happy, so I handed over my keys. It's always a little weird to ride in the passenger seat of your own car, isn't it?

We drove in silence for several minutes. I looked over at Bill and he was softly glowing, as always. His profile was handsome, his hair was neatly combed, as always. So much about him would never change, I thought to myself. I had a sudden mental image of Bill standing in the Bon Temps cemetery between our homes, looking just as he does now, gazing at a headstone with my name inscribed. I felt suddenly sad, but not for myself.

He must have sensed me staring at him, and he turned to me. It was only briefly, but long enough for those dark eyes to open up the floodgate and I found I couldn't not talk to him.

"I want to thank you again for what you did for me last night," I told him. I had no idea what I was expecting him to say. I wasn't even sure what I wanted him to say. I just knew that I wanted to make things right between us, or at least as right as things could be under the circumstances. Was it closure I was needing here maybe? I had never had an ex-boyfriend, not like Bill. I was in uncharted territory.

He was quiet for a bit before he finally spoke. "I didn't really do anything."

"You stayed with me," I insisted.

"Eric stayed longer."

Ouch.

I closed my eyes, then turned to look out the side window. I didn't respond. The silence dragged.

"I'm sorry," Bill said at last. "That was unfair."

Yes, it was, but it was also accurate. Any doubts I had about Bill knowing exactly when Eric had left my house vanished. I remember seeing Selah's car driving away from Bill's house a few times in the early morning hours and it burned me. We had been broken up for a while at that point (and I had been the one to do the breaking) My head knew it was ridiculous to be jealous but my heart never got the memo.

"I saw you," Bill continued, his voice quiet and even. I turned to look at him, confused. He glanced at me. "Last night when you were outside in the snow. I saw you."

I cringed and was grateful it was dark inside the car so Bill couldn't see my face turn red. Emotional or not, taking off after Eric like that had not been one of my brighter moments.

"I also saw Eric come and get you," Bill continued. I sighed. Could this get any worse?

"I'm sorry you had to see that," I told him. We were turning onto my driveway now and the car rumbled loudly through the gravel. Bill stopped the car in my usual spot, put the gear in park and turned off the lights, but left the motor running. For the heater, I assumed. He turned to me as much as he could in the small car.

"I'm glad I saw what I did," he began, and his voice was strong. "I was coming to find you. I've had your blood and you mine. I knew you were in pain, and it wasn't just from the cold. And when I saw Eric pick you up to take you home, I knew..." he paused, seemed to take an unnecessary breath to gather himself. "I knew how you felt about him."

This was a pretty big detour from the conversation I was expecting to have, but it wasn't as strange or awkward as I would have anticipated. I had softened toward Bill over the past several months, starting the night of the takeover. I had no desire to cause him pain, and I most certainly had no intentions of flaunting another man in his face, especially Eric. The little anti-Bill voice in my head was chattering, reminding me of all the times Bill had brought Selah into Merlotte's while I was working, but I ignored it.

"I never wanted to hurt you," I told him.

"And I never wanted to hurt you," he said. "But I did. And there is not a night that passes that I don't regret that."

I shook my head, not wanting yet another repeat performance of his apology and my dismissal of said apology. "I know," I said simply.

"Do you, Sookie?" he pressed. "Do you truly know how very sorry I am?"

I should have just let it go. I should have just gotten out of the car and walked into the house, but I didn't. If closure was in fact what I was after, I might as well just lay it all on the table. That was my reasoning, anyway.

"I do believe you," I said, and I held up a hand so he knew I wasn't finished yet. "And I understand - sort of - why you had to come here when the Queen ordered it. I know more about the politics in your world now, and I get that you didn't really have a choice. I even understand why you had to go to Lorena when she wanted you." I thought back to how Eric had called me, the incredible power it held and I shivered. Bill's face was almost hopeful, and I hated to dash it. "But you told me you loved me..."

Bill interrupted me. "I do love you."

I stared at him. I was getting side-tracked, but I decided to follow it. "And when, exactly, did you decide you loved me?"

Bill couldn't have looked more pained. He didn't want to go down this path, that much was clear.

"I knew the first night I met you that you were different," he answered.

I shook my head. "That isn't the same as loving me." I steadied myself, not really wanting to ask my next question. "How about the first night we slept together?"

Bill's expression changed, and his eyes softened. He reached over tentatively and touched my cheek with the back of the fingers. "Oh, Sookie. I wish you would have told me," he whispered.

I lowered my head and pulled away from his touch. "I'll take that as a no."

"It wasn't long after that I knew I loved you," he said softly.

I barked out an unamused laugh. "That's great. It's nice to know I gave up my virginity to a guy that almost loved me." My voice was quivering and I hoped I didn't cry. I had suspected this, of course, but hearing it was not fun.

"You have no idea how it's tormented me, Sookie," Bill said. "I would give everything I have to change what happened between us."

I made an erase movement with my hand, and took a breath. "Alright, forget about that for now. What I really want to know, what I don't understand, is that if you really did come to love me as you claim - whenever it happened - why didn't you tell me about the Queen's orders? How could you look me in the face every day and not tell me if you honestly did love me?"

Bill looked away. "I couldn't."

"I deserved to know."

Bill looked back. "Yes, you did. I almost told you so many times, but I knew you wouldn't understand and I didn't want to lose you. I was a fool, and I was a coward." A sad smile appeared on his face. "But Eric is not."

My eyes went wide.

"When I saw him take you away last night, I knew he would share your bed. When I realized how you felt about him, I knew he would be in your heart. I can't tell you how it felt, seeing him holding you, knowing he had found what I had lost. But I had no anger in me, not toward you or Eric. My only thought was I hoped he could find a way to love you as you deserve." Bill stopped and his eyes looked far away for a moment. "I know it's too late for us. I've accepted that. I do hope that one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me. I know we can't go back, but I want to have you in my life, as much or as little as you desire."

I closed my eyes and leaned back heavily against the seat. Sitting here with Bill, listening to his cool voice and hearing the words he was speaking, I found I had no desire to hold onto my anger. I just didn't have it in me anymore. I knew I would never forget what Bill had done, but I began to think that maybe I didn't need to forget in order to forgive. Maybe I needed to remember it all and just...let it go. As I considered that, a wave of peacefulness swept through me and I suddenly felt about ten pounds lighter. I smiled, rolled my head on the seat to look at my first love.

"You could have lied, you know," I said and Bill looked at me, confused. "When I asked you if you loved me that first time we were together, you could have lied."

"Yes, and I very nearly did. I didn't want to hurt you. But what I truly wish is that I could have told you yes, and had it be the truth."

"I'll take a hard truth over an easy lie any day," I stated, then I looked at Bill, stared into his dark eyes. "I forgive you," I told him and I swear as soon as I said the words I felt like I could actually breathe a little easier. "This is really new to me so I'm not sure what happens now. Is this the part where we say we'll be friends?"

Bill smiled a bit, and it touched his eyes this time. "This is the part when I thank you, and tell you I will never betray your trust again."

We sat there for a minute or so, not talking, and just as it was getting a bit awkward, I glanced at the clock on the dash and Bill took the hint. He turned off the engine and handed me my keys.

"I'll be close if you need me," he said, his tone heavy.

"Thanks. I'm sorry you're stuck on baby-sitting detail tonight," I said. I was trying to joke with him but he didn't look happy.

"I wish I knew what was going on," he told me, and there was some bite behind the words.

I didn't blame him a bit. It's no fun being out of the loop, but the less he knew about my situation the safer he would be, so I just nodded and reached for the door.

"Sookie," he whispered, and I froze. I recognized the emotion behind his voice immediately. I knew I shouldn't turn back to him, but I did. He was leaned over toward me so when I turned my head we were just inches apart. He raised one hand and pulled me to him and I didn't resist. Our lips touched, just for a moment or two, gently. A wave of memories flooded into me and they weren't sad, or passionate or angry. They were just memories.

We pulled back at the same moment, looked at each other. Something was changed between us, and we both felt it.

"Good bye, Bill." I smiled a little.

"Good bye, Sookie," he responded quietly.

We got out of my car and I headed up the steps to the back door. I didn't turn around to look, but I knew Bill was watching me to make sure I got inside okay.

The house was dark and quiet, as expected. Octavia usually turned in early, and Amelia was rarely up past midnight unless she had a date. I shrugged off my coat and tiptoed down the hall to my bedroom. I changed into pajamas and took off all the silver jewelry I had worn but, thankfully, had not needed. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and took my phone out of my purse to charge it.

I noticed I had a missed call from Fangtasia and the little voicemail symbol on the phone was flashing. I smiled. I hadn't expected to hear from Eric tonight, but I'd been hoping. I didn't want to make assumptions and Eric and I hadn't really talked much about the specifics of our relationship (other than admitting we shared feelings for one another.) I didn't expect he would start calling me every day and taking me out every weekend. Eric wasn't a typical guy so I wasn't expecting to have a typical relationship with him and I was fine with that, for now.

I snuggled down into the covers and said my prayers, then I picked up my cell phone and punched in the code for voicemail retrieval.

You have one new message, the electronic voice informed me. Then I heard Eric's voice and I couldn't help but smile. He must have been calling from his office; I could hear the music from the bar muted in the background. It's pretty hard to sound sexy on a cell phone recording, but somehow Eric managed it.

"Hello, lover. You are at work, and if my information is correct the shifter's bar is enjoying the patronage of a certain king. You will tell him I'm terribly disappointed that I missed his visit last night, won't you?

The way he said it made it clear he was anything but terribly disappointed.

I'm looking into a few things here in Shreveport and I will call you as time allows. Sleep well tonight in safety and dream of me.

Ha! I was already planning on it. I flipped off the phone and put it back on the nightstand. Eric's message was a cryptic mix of innuendo, which was just pure Eric. What I heard was that Eric was on top of things in Shreveport, and Bill was standing watch here. Plus, I was in a house warded by two witches so I was feeling pretty cozy as I flipped over my pillow and closed my eyes.

I slept well.

Chapter Fourteen

I missed Eric.

"You miss Eric, don't you?"

Amelia's question barely registered.

"Huh?"

My roommate laughed. "Sookie, you've been staring into the refrigerator for about five minutes, do you even realize that?"

I blinked. I had come into the kitchen to look for something, preferably something chocolate. My mind was elsewhere tonight, though. It had taken a vacation to Shreveport and left my body behind.

Three nights. It had been three solid nights since I had last heard from Eric and I was starting to get concerned. No, scratch that. I was concerned after the first night, the second night I had moved on to worry and now I was just downright annoyed.

I kept telling myself I had no reason to be upset. It wasn't at all unusual for Eric not to contact me, and in the past we rarely saw one another unless it was for a specific purpose. But, I lamented, that was before.

Before what, exactly?

Before he had come to me and told me he wanted me, before I had decided I wanted him, too. Before we had made love and held one another and spoken so tenderly. The part of my heart that belonged to that big Viking was aching with curious abandonment.

I had been trying to keep myself busy as much as possible, and that hadn't been to hard until tonight. The past several days I had fallen into a strange sort of routine. I had worked every day from four thirty until close at Merlotte's, and each night Bill would be waiting for me by my car to drive me home. Then I would get ready for bed, read a chapter or two in my new romance book, check my cell phone for missed calls and messages - again - and be disappointed when there weren't any. Then I'd turn off the lights, cuddle under the covers and wonder what the hell was going on.

I had been pretty tough for a few days. Eric was a vampire Sheriff, I told myself sternly, and I shouldn't expect him to drop everything just because we had spent a wonderful night together. I knew what I was getting myself into, right? This was exactly why I had pushed him away for so long, because he was immersed deeply in vamp politics and that came first for him. Yes, I had finally stopped fighting it and admitted I cared for him and needed him, but did that mean he was going to change overnight? Is that what I was really expecting to happen?

Yeah, I thought sadly to myself. That was exactly what I was expecting on some level. And how was I handling reality when it stared me in the face? I was standing in front of the refrigerator looking for comfort food - for five minutes, apparently. That explained why I was chilled, at least. I puffed out an exasperated sigh and slammed the door much harder than was necessary. Amelia snickered.

"Why don't you just call him?"

Oh, wow! As if I hadn't thought about doing that a hundred times.

"He knows my number," I said tartly.

"Yeah, and you know his."

I started to argue, but stopped. The witch had a valid point. Why was I waiting around for him to contact me, anyway? I was an adult. Why was I moping around acting like some helpless Disney princess, waiting for her prince to come and save her from overdosing on chocolate?

I turned to my roommate. "You know what? I am gonna call him, right now." I turned and marched purposefully out of the kitchen, saying Hello to Tray on the way to my room. He was sitting on the sofa waiting for Amelia; they had a stay-at-home date night planned, from the looks of things. There was a bag of take-out and some rental movies sitting on the table and Tray had kicked off his shoes. Octavia had already retired for the evening.

I shut the door to my bedroom and sat down on the bed, phone in hand. I dialed the number to Fangtasia and it only rang once before a female voice answered I didn't recognize. I asked for Eric and my heart sped up when the female put me on hold and went to see if 'the master' was available to take a call. Minutes passed and I got an uneasy feeling. The last time it took him this long to answer the phone Eric had told me he was 'having supper'. (in more ways than one, no doubt) It had merely irked me before, but now...well, I wasn't sure how I would respond. Or how I should respond, for that matter. More minutes passed and just as I was about to hang up in a huff the phone clicked back over.

"I'm sorry Miss, but the master has stepped out. Could someone else assist you?"

Hmph, at least she was more polite than most of the people they got to answer the phone. I sighed, told her 'No, thank you' and flipped off the phone. I flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I was off work tonight and it wasn't late, not even ten o'clock yet, so I was wide awake. I wondered if Bill was hanging around outside, or if he had gone home. He was still under orders to keep an eye on me, he said, so I assumed he was close by. I briefly considered going out to talk to him but I was too depressed. Yes, I missed Eric. Very much.

I spent the next hour or so reading, then I took a long shower to relax and got ready for bed. I pulled on my favorite nightgown - faded and frayed, but oh so soft and comfortable. I checked my phone just once more for missed calls, turned out the lights and closed my eyes. I could hear the television, could heard Amelia and Tray quietly talking and sometimes laughing, and I had a pang of jealousy. I sat back up and clicked on the radio on the alarm clock and adjusted the volume so it was just loud enough to distract me from happy date night. It took a bit, but after a while I was asleep and dreaming.

My dream was a nice one. I was wrapped in warmth and safety, and I felt strong hands stroking my arms and kissing my cheek, my neck, my shoulder. I smiled, knowing even in sleep it was my Eric. I could almost smell his unique scent it was so real. I released a contented little sigh, hoping never to wake.

After a few moments, the feel of hands on my skin became stronger, the smells were more real, the feelings more intense. I stretched a bit, arching my back and then rolling over onto my side. I felt my hair being pulled away from my face and then I felt lips right at my ear.

"Wake, my lover."

The voice was soft and full of warmth and I smiled. This was no dream.

Eric draped his arm around me so his hand was near my face. I snuggled into him, my back to his chest, and eventually my eyes opened. The first thing I saw was a strong forearm and thick wrist. I placed my own arm near his, laid my hand on top of his, and had a rosy, half awake moment of amusement when I saw how tiny mine looked compared to his. I giggled.

"Hi," I said sleepily, still in that hazy half-awake state.

Eric chuckled quietly, kissed my neck just below my ear and nuzzled his face in my hair, breathing in my scent. He moved his hand to my hip, then to my leg. He pushed up my nightgown and stroked the outside of my thigh slowly a few times, then moved up and ran his hands along the curve of my hip. Yes, I was definitely starting to wake up now. I rolled onto my back and looked up at him, and he rested his hand on my belly. He was propped on his side, his hair was falling forward and he had a gentle smile on his face. He kissed my lips, parted them and moved his hand down to my undies.

"I want to be near you," he said quietly, as he tugged gently at my panties. I raised my hips and wiggled, helping him as he slid them off. He sat up some and I saw his chest was bare, which made me smile. Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered I was irritated with Eric, but I decided I would just be angry later. My eyes were adjusting to the darkness in the room and I admired his body as he raised me to a sitting position. Mmmmm. The rest of him was bare, too. I lifted my arms and Eric silently pulled my gown up and over my head and tossed it away, then he looked at me and did a little admiring of his own.

He pulled me close to him and laid me back down, keeping my body pressed against his. I could feel the curly blond hair on his chest, and I liked the way it felt against my breasts. We lay on our side, facing one another. He ran his hand up and down my back as we kissed, over and over.

"How did you get in here?" I asked him quietly in between kisses.

"The witch let me in."

His fangs had run out and I felt my own body responding to his touch. I molded myself against him, and stroked his arm, kissed his shoulder and then brought my leg up and hitched it around his hip. Eric made a happy noise as part of my body, the soft and wet and warm and inviting part, lightly brushed up against part of him. He reached his arm around me to cup my bottom, he adjusted his position slightly and in one swift movement he was inside me. I gasped. He smiled.

We stayed like that for a moment, not moving, just laying there, joined. I had to raise my head to look him the eyes now. My lips parted and I sighed, then he rolled a bit so I was almost fully on my back, but not quite. I kept my leg up around his hip, and he kept one hand under my bottom and kneaded it as he started to move slowly in and out. I could feel every inch of him.

"I was told I had to be nice," he whispered, never taking his eyes from my face.

He thrust into me, paused. Pulled out, paused. Every movement was torturously slow.

"Who told you that?" I breathed, but I knew it had to Amelia. My voice was a little ragged, my body more than a little excited. Eric kept moving, keeping that leisurely pace. His eyes were full of heat.

"I was told I was being a jerk," he continued quietly, smirking. He pushed into me deeply, held it. I tried to move my hips, but his grip on my bottom was too strong so I was at his mercy. I wanted to cry, I was so on fire for him. Finally he started moving again and I closed my eyes in ecstasy. Thrust, pause, repeat. It was agonizingly perfect.

"Look at me," he instructed, and I did. It was hard to keep my eyes open. He felt so good I just wanted to lose myself. But still, looking in his eyes when we were like this was incredibly intimate, very erotic, like nothing else I had ever experienced.

"So tell me, how am I being a jerk, lover?" His voice was husky with his arousal. He pushed hard, ground his hips into me. Oh God, did he really want to have a conversation about this now?

"You...haven't called me," I answered, gasping. Thrust, hold.

"You have been working, have you not?" He looked down, and so did I. My breasts were pressed up against him, giving them a very full, cushiony appearance that Eric seemed to really appreciate. A groan rumbled in his chest. He started moving again, and I could swear it was even slower than before.

"Yes," I finally answered, breathing heavily. I could feel my release building up deep inside me. He felt so wonderful, part of me was aching for completion while part of me never wanted this to stop. He pushed in deeply, slowly, and then pressed against me a few times, pulled back, paused. Did it again and again until I thought I would go insane. I tried to close my eyes a few times but each time he would kiss me and let his fangs scrape against the inside of my bottom lip, just enough to get my attention so I would look at him again.

"You would like this," he asked and I was glad to hear the slight shake in his own voice. "If I called you, even on nights you work?" Thrust, hold.

"Yes," I said softly. "I would like that." He started moving again and he was gripping me even harder. He kissed my lips, moved his mouth to my neck.

"This is important to you?" he asked. His lips brushed my skin as he spoke and I couldn't tell if he was teasing me. He pushed into me again and stopped, ground his hips against me, making me gasp.

"Are you making fun of me?" I asked breathlessly.

Eric kissed my neck one last time, then looked at me, his face very close to mine.

"No," he said. "It's been a long time since I've any sort of....romantic entanglement." He pushed hard once again, held it. "I might be a little out of practice." He pulled back, almost out of me and I whimpered a protest. He paused again, hovered right at my entrance. He smiled down at me. "I don't wish to cause you distress..." He pushed back into me fully and I exhaled contentedly. "...so you must tell me if I've done something to upset you."

"I wasn't...really...upset," I managed to say. "I just missed you." I was having some trouble forming coherent sentences now. He moved again, so slowly, and he ran his hands along my backside from shoulders to thigh, pausing to squeeze my bottom firmly, pulling me even closer to him. This slow pace was maddening.

"You are always in my thoughts," he whispered, his eyes searching my face. "Even when I try to banish you from them, you're still there, inside me, taunting me." He thrust again, even harder, once, twice and then again in rapid succession and I almost went over the edge but then he slowed again. I wanted to wail with frustration.

"You want to forget me?" I asked in a quivering voice and I ran my nails along his back, found my favorite part and did a little squeezing of my own. His expression turned wild for a moment, then he recovered.

"No, my lover," he answered thickly. He pushed into me deeply and held it. "I want to possess you. Every part of you." He pushed again, held it. "I want to claim you as mine and keep you by my side. I want to kill anyone who dares to lay hands on you." He was nearly growling the words and he was thrusting hard inside me now, over and over. I strained my neck, trying to reach his lips. He met me halfway and I felt his tongue dance in my mouth. I felt him shudder a little with unmistakable need. Our kiss broke and we looked at one another. He licked his lips, slowed down again, even slower than before. I was ready to burst into flames, every nerve ending I had was flashing and I knew my body couldn't take much more of this. It was painful. It was exciting.

I pulled my arm from around him and stroked his hair, his face, then put my hand to his mouth. He kissed my fingers, his tongue darting out a few times to give a quick lick, his eyes never leaving mine. There was a desperate hunger in those blue eyes that I recognized immediately. I rolled my head back slightly, exposing my neck in offering.

"Take me, Eric" I whispered the command, then even more softly said "I'm yours."

Eric was silent for a moment, then made a long, groaning sound that seemed to come from somewhere deep inside him. He released his grip on my bottom and grabbed my hand that was at his mouth and held it above my head. He repositioned his weight and rolled onto me fully, using his knees to open my legs wide, our bodies still joined. I raised my hips, and he pushed deeply into me, still moving slowly, still looking in my eyes. Then he took his hand and raised my chin, moved my head to the side and bit. I gasped and I could feel a powerful wave of ecstasy roll over me through our bond as he drank from me. He didn't take much, just drew on the wounds a few times before licking them and licking his lips, then he was kissing me with a crazed fervor.

His movements were coming faster now, my blood seemed to be driving him, and I felt my body start to shake with imminent release. He broke off our kiss suddenly, and his eyes were excited when he looked down into mine. He pressed hard against me a few times and I was just gone. My entire body clenched, my back arched, and I wailed as I was lost in an explosion of pleasure.

Eric's moment was right behind mine. He buried himself inside me and cried out in his ancient language, closing his eyes. He collapsed on top of me and I nuzzled my face into his shoulder as our bodies trembled with aftershocks. I was so relaxed and content I was almost purring.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, then Eric pulled out and away from me slowly, and I felt a momentary sadness at the loss of our physical connection. He shifted back to lay on his side, keeping one arm across my waist. He was so beautiful, I thought to myself. He was strong, and powerful and he was mine. Well, technically, I was his - at least that was what I had just told him. Then I cringed. Did I really say that? Did I really mean it? Want it? I had a moment of pure panic. Maybe there was an escape clause for this in the relationship manual - you know, things said while on the verge of orgasm don't really count. Or maybe he'll just forgot.

"Did you mean it, Sookie?" Eric asked me after a moment, very gently. "Are you giving yourself to me?"

So much for Eric forgetting. I should have known I wouldn't get off that easily. But, he was asking me now - now that we were sated and thinking more clearly. He was giving me an out if I wanted to take it. But my heart spoke before my brain could catch up.

"Yes," I murmured "I guess maybe I am."

Eric reached over and put one big hand on my cheek. He smiled, a real smile without the fangs.

"I would want to claim you as my own now," he said, his eyes boring into mine. "You understand what that would mean for us?"

Something in his voice gave me pause. My eyes narrowed.

"No," I said slowly. "Maybe you should explain what that means, exactly." I sat up a bit, propped myself on my elbow. Eric did likewise.

"I am Sheriff. Those that owe me loyalty would be required to show respect for things I deem to be dear and valuable. And even those to whom I owe fealty would have to honor our relationship according to vampire tradition."

"Okay," I said, feeling a little better. "That doesn't sound so bad." I hesitated, and my brow furrowed. "Except that part about showing respect. No one would have to bow to me or anything, would they?"

Eric laughed and kissed me. "No, dear one. You are not vampire. What I want you to understand is that you would be considered one of my personal possessions."

I groaned. Here we go. "Eric, come on. Do you know what century this is?"

"I do," he said, and there was no amusement in his voice. "You told me just this evening that certain things are important to you, did you not?"

I must have looked confused because Eric prompted me. "You said you would like me to contact you more often, now that we have a more...personal relationship."

"Well, yeah," I admitted "It would be a nice gesture. But what does that have to do with.."

"And I will do that for you," Eric interrupted "because it's something you deem important, even though I personally think it's ridiculous."

I opened my eyes wide, offended. "You think it's ridiculous that I would want to see you and hear from you more often than just when....well, when you decide you want to have sex and dinner?"

I knew I had made a bad, bad choice of words as soon as they left my mouth. Eric's face went hard and he sat up against the headboard and looked down at me.

"First of all," he said, and his voice was fiery "I can easily have sex and dinner any night I like without coming all the way to Bon Temps."

I winced. I really, really didn't need to hear that. But it was my own fault; I had opened that can of worms myself. My face must have revealed my hurt, because he lowered his voice and his tone softened somewhat.

"What I think is ridiculous is the notion that the quantity of my contact with you- either through a phone call or a personal visit - in some way has the power to define or determine the extent of my feelings for you." He paused to let that sink in, then he smiled a bit. "But since this is something that is important to you, I will make an effort to accommodate your request."

I knew exactly where he was heading with this now, and I knew right then I had been out-maneuvered. Never, ever play chess with a thousand year old Viking, that's all I'm going to say.

I sat up. "So what you're saying is, just because I think this 'personal possession' concept is ridiculous and demeaning and a complete throwback to the dark ages, since it's important to you, I should just accept it."

Eric beamed at me. "Yes."

I shook my head, fell back onto the pillow. Eric leaned over me, his blue eyes blazing.

"Say you will be mine, Sookie."

I looked at him for a long time and he didn't say a word, just waited. I hated this crap, I really did. She is mine; he is mine, mine, mine, mine. Like a two-year-old's dream. But darn if I didn't want to say yes to him, crazy as it was. My inner cave-woman was ready to kick the crap out of me but, I decided, if Eric and I were going to give this a serious go, there were a few things I was just going to have to get used to. Compromise is at the heart of a relationship, right? Oh, hell.

"Alright, Eric," I said finally. "I will be yours." I smiled, just a little, but rolled my eyes to show him exactly how not thrilled I was with his quaint little vampire tradition. Eric didn't care, though. He kissed me for all he was worth - which was quite a lot - and when he pulled away his eyes were shining with victory.

"My Sookie," he said quietly, but he wasn't really addressing me. It was like he was trying out the words, seeing how they fit. He looked pleased and for whatever reason- blood bond, true affection or both- I was happy that he was happy.

Eric's head turned suddenly. Clearly his vampire hearing had picked up something mine hadn't.

"What?" I asked and he just shook his head.

"My phone."

He must have it set to vibrate because I sure didn't hear a ring. "You need to get it?"

"No. I already spoke to the other Sheriff in the chain tonight, and Victor. Whoever it is can wait."

I sat up, pulling the covers up around me.

"You talked to Victor?"

"He checks in every night, as always."

"And...?" I prompted. This was kind of important, wasn't it?

Eric's face got that vampire look and I had no idea what he might be thinking.

"And," Eric stated slowly, "Victor is being Victor. He's being overly polite, not unusual. And he's revealing nothing, also not unusual. I've been keeping watch on him and his dealings very closely. He has not approached the King about you as far as I can tell."

"That's good, right?"

Eric paused a moment. "If he was planning to tell Felipe' he would have done it already. If he were to go to the King now, it would not be good for him. The King would demand to know why he kept such important information to himself for so long."

"And Victor wouldn't risk the King's suspicion?" I asked and Eric nodded.

I brightened. "So that narrows things down then. That's one route you know he won't take. That's progress, correct?"

Eric nodded, looked at me, amused. "You have developed quite the devious mind."

"Too much Eric blood in me, I suppose," I said with a smile and Eric grinned hugely. Then, without warning, he moved at vampire speed and lifted me up and pulled me onto his lap. He kissed me tenderly, then looked at me with quite a serious expression..

"I want to tell you something, my Sookie." He sounded like the Sheriff just then, but he was stroking my back in a soothing way.

"Okay," I said warily, and I nodded at him to go on.

"I'm going to travel to Nevada, to talk to Felipe' DeCastro in person."

"About what?"

"Do you remember what I told you, about having an ace in the hole?"

I nodded, tried not to grin. I still thought that phrase sounded funny coming from Eric. "I remember."

"I want to explain that to you, and I want you to try to understand. I'll need you to trust me."

His emotions were all over the place all of a sudden, I could feel it through our bond, too many to decipher. Hope was there, excitement and something else. Fear, maybe? But that seemed unlikely coming from Eric.

"I trust you," I said and his eyes turned soft, and more emotion flared through our bond.

Before he could begin his explanation though, his phone vibrated again and he cursed in another language - at least I assumed it was a curse. I still couldn't hear the phone - it must have been in the pocket of his jacket, which was lying in the chair across the room along with his clothes. Eric glanced over and then looked at me apologetically.

"Maybe you should just answer it," I suggested and Eric agreed. He tossed back the covers and stood up. Moonlight was coming in from the windows and bathed his impressive form with a soft glow. The view as he walked across the room was spectacular and I leered at him openly.

Then all at once there was a frantic pounding on the door of the bedroom, and Amelia was yelling at me to open up. My heart leapt, Eric froze and I fumbled out of the bed, telling Amelia to hold on for just a minute. I pulled one of the sheets clear off the bed and wrapped in around me hurriedly. I opened the door, Amelia was standing there and her face was horrified. I put my hand to my mouth and gasped, hearing her thoughts before she spoke. I looked back at Eric, who had already managed to pull on his jeans.

"What's happened?" he demanded and Amelia stepped into the room.

"It was just on the news," she nearly screamed. "The Fellowship are attacking vampire businesses all over the state! There are fires and some bombs..."

Amelia didn't get a chance to say another word. Eric grabbed the rest of his clothes and pushed by us, his cell phone already at his ear. I ran down the hall, not caring a bit that Tray was still here, and Octavia had woken up with all the commotion and I was standing in the middle of them all, wrapped only in a sheet.

Eric watched the television for a few moments while talking to someone on the phone - Pam, I assumed. There was footage of police cars and fire trucks, people on stretchers, buildings and vampires burning. Some of the places I recognized. Eric had never looked more dangerous, and his fangs had descended. I heard him say he was on the way, and he flipped his phone shut, turned to me, kissed me fully on the mouth, then turned to leave.

Amelia opened the door for Eric, and when she did I saw Bill standing on the porch, looking just as dangerous as Eric. He glanced at me, took in my haphazard appearance and then looked at Eric, who was still half dressed as well. His expression never changed.

"Was Fangtasia hit?" Bill asked, the question we were all wondering.

"Not yet," was Eric's reply and we all relaxed marginally.

Bill nodded. "Do you need me?"

"Can you drive?" Eric asked and Bill pointed to my driveway. His car was already there and it was running.

"Good," Eric said and he and Bill headed to the car and in seconds they were flying down my drive.

After they left, we all spent a little while watching the news (I changed back into my nightgown and donned a robe first) There wasn't much in the way of real information yet, just an endless loop of witness accounts and speculation and protesters on both sides making a lot of noise. I never heard anything about Fangtasia being damaged and for that I was grateful. There were, however, a lot of Fellowship people ranting and raving, saying that tonight's attacks 'were only the beginning.'

I watched until I was sick of watching, then said goodnight to Amelia and Tray and retreated to bed. I stripped the sheets and tossed them in a pile, remade the bed and crawled in.

I lay there for a bit, my mind spinning. My blood-bonded lover, the one I had given myself to this very night, was dealing with things right now I could barely imagine. I was worried for him, and worried for myself. There was always something, some new drama or tragedy lurking around the corner it seemed.

I flipped over my pillow after a while and repositioned myself. I tried to think on other things, pleasant things. I tried to remember the feel of Eric's strong arms around me, the warmth and safety he always provides, but I had a terrible noise in my head I couldn't ignore. It grated in my mind, like nails on a chalkboard, full of pain and warning and foreboding. And it was a long, long time before sleep finally took me.

Chapter Fifteen

I woke up very late but remarkably un-rested. The terrible feeling from last night, as though something horrible was about to descend, was still with me. I showered, dressed and made myself something to eat as if in a fog.

Though it was closer to lunchtime than breakfast, I opted for just a simple bowl of cereal and glass of juice, and I took both into the living room and sat down. I picked up the remote, turned on the TV and, as expected, there was still very little new information about the previous night's attacks. The official number of vampire owned businesses that were hit was nine, but the radical arm of the Fellowship were claiming a number double that. The largest amount of damage seemed to have been centered around New Orleans and I had a few moments of sheer disgust. That city was just starting to be rebuilt, and now more destruction had been intentionally inflicted.

"Anything about Fangtasia?"

I turned when Amelia strode into the room, still in pajamas and looking about about as sleep-deprived as me. I had a sneaking suspicion her lack of shuteye had more to do with her date last night than with worry about the Fellowship terrorist tactics.

"I haven't heard anything," I answered sullenly. I wished I could talk to Eric, but he was safely tucked away for the day now. At least I hoped it was safely. Please, let him be safe, I thought fervently.

"They must be crazy," Amelia said, looking at the television and shaking her head. "To attack at night like that."

"Yeah," I agreed, frowning. "They're getting bolder. Or more stupid." Most of the previous attacks against vampires had taken place during the day when the undead were easy, sleeping targets. From what I was getting from the news reports, most of the damage was caused by quick and crude bombs, which very well could have been placed during the day and detonated later. But some of the businesses were set on fire, too, and whoever was dumb enough to do that at night must have some kind of death wish.

Amelia snorted and got up, heading to the kitchen. I couldn't watch the news any more so I flipped through the channels and finally found a daytime game show. I watched for a few minutes but then decided to give up. There was just no point in trying to distract myself out of my present mood.

Amelia came back into the room and stood in the doorway, holding her own bowl of cereal. She took a few bites, never sitting down, and I knew she wanted to ask me about my time with Eric the night before. I smiled a little. She was proud of herself, for the way she had confronted Eric on my behalf. I had to give her credit; not many people would get in Eric's face and call him a jerk. Girlfriends had to stick together, that was what Amelia was thinking.

"He was very nice," I said, looking up at the witch and catching her in mid-bite. She paused for a second, debating on whether or not to be offended.

I grinned at her. "What did you expect when you moved in with a telepath?"

"Good point," she muttered, and opted for being non-offended. "I know you like him and all, and he is drop dead gorgeous, but he's a little scary, don't you think?"

I shrugged. "I could say the same about Pam."

Amelia sighed, and got a wistful look on her face for a few second. "Yeah," she grinned "I guess so."

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Amelia piped up again.

"Hey, why don't we take a road trip over to Clarice tomorrow night."

"What's in Clarice?" I asked. Besides the former home and lingering, high-dollar perfume stench of one Selah Pumphry, I added snippily to myself.

"New restaurant, Thai cuisine." Amelia looked at me with pleading eyes. "We haven't had a girl's night out in forever."

She was also sick to death of the same old very American food served up in Bon Temps, but she didn't want to offend me by saying it out loud. Amelia was a city girl, yes indeed. I considered that a night out might serve to bolster my spirits. I had done nothing but work and sleep for months, and I had turned down Amelia's offers to go out more times than I wanted to admit. I was feeling like a lousy friend, and decided it was time to change that.

I shrugged. "Sure, sounds good. I have to work 'till seven though, so it will have to be a late dinner."

Amelia instantly brightened. "No problem! You're gonna love Thai food, I just know it!"

I nodded, and was just too mentally exhausted to bother mentioning the fact I'd had Thai several times. I checked the clock and saw it was later than I thought. I had to work the lunch shift today so I decided to go ahead and take off. Maybe working would help me concentrate on something other than my own dismal mood. I grabbed my coat and purse, said good-bye to Amelia and headed for my car.

I drove to Merlotte's on auto-pilot, not thinking, not even bothering to turn on the radio. When I pulled into the parking lot I felt my stomach tighten when I saw Arlene's car. I had completely forgotten I was working with her today. I knew she would have something to say about the Fellowship attacks, and I knew it would be something that would make my blood boil. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with her today and I briefly considered tucking tail and heading back home, but I just couldn't do that to Sam. So I put on my best happy face and marched inside to do my duty.

To my relief, the first several hours of my shift passed slowly, but uneventfully. The Saturday lunch crowd always seemed to be a particularly loud group and today was no exception. A lot of talk centered around the attacks and how terrible it was, while a lot of thoughts centered around the attacks and how great it was that the vamps were getting what they deserved. Since most of the talk and the opposing thoughts were coming from the same people, I had to concentrate really hard to keep my shields up and keep my face from revealing my irritation.

Then, right in the middle of lunch rush, the door opened and every eye in the bar went to the delivery man that walked in carrying a very beautiful - and very large - floral arrangement. The flowers were extraordinary, with roses, carnations, lilies. And dead in the center of the arrangement was a flower I recognized immediately by it's almost obscene shape. I'd seen it once before, and my mouth popped open and my heart rate sped up. The deliver guy whipped out a little clipboard and pen from a side pocket in his pants and I knew what he was going to say before he said it, and I didn't even have to read his thoughts.

"I got a delivery here for Miss. Sookie Stackhouse," the man announced and I cringed and went red. Could he have said that any louder?

In a second, every eye that been on the delivery man and the flowers shifted to me. I couldn't have felt more on display if a spotlight had been pointed at me. I looked around, and I knew my nervous smile was plastered on my face. I walked over to the guy and reached for the clipboard and pen. While I signed for my flowers I could hear the guys thoughts as he gave me the once-over. And he hadn't started with my face.

I all but shoved the clipboard back at him, muttered something decidedly not polite under my breath and turned to examine the flowers. Both Sam and Arlene had moved in to get a closer look. Sam, particularly, looked very interested in a sort of jealous-worried-boss-friend-and-sometimes-more-than-a-friend kind of way.

"There's a card," Sam stated in a neutral tone. I had already noticed that, of course, but I was intending to wait until my audience had dispersed somewhat before I opened it. But my co-workers (and over half the customers in the bar) were still watching me carefully and showing absolutely no signs of going back to their own business anytime soon. I was as on- the-spot as a gal could get, and a little tickle in my brain was telling me that was exactly what a certain Viking had intended with this dramatic middle of the day delivery. I vowed to kill Eric next time I saw him. Right after I jumped him.

The flower arrangement was so large, and sitting on the bar as it was, I had to reach up to grab the card out of the little plastic forked holder. I glanced around - yep, still being watched - and flipped open the envelope and pulled out the card. It read simply 'My Sookie' and was signed with a giant 'E'.

I couldn't help but smile. Eric was dealing with heaven knows what in Shreveport last night but - once again - he had managed to arrange a special delivery for me. I knew one of his daytime people had probably done most of the work, but Eric had written the card himself. And no one else would have possibly known to choose that particular flower as the centerpiece. My smile grew bigger and for the first time since I woke up I felt some happiness. It was short-lived.

"My Sookie?" Arlene said too loudly, reading over my shoulder. I favored her with my best icy stare and quickly placed the card back in the envelope. "Who's E?" she asked in an overly friendly voice. She smiled at me, but it didn't touch her eyes. I was about to lose my temper, I could feel it building. I was just about to say something really and truly nasty when Sam saved me.

"Come on, cher, let's get these moved off the bar. You can put 'em back in the office."

I looked at my boss, grateful, but he wasn't smiling. At all. I carefully picked up the flowers (they were heavier than they looked) and brought them around the bar and down the hall to the office. Sam followed me, and while I was situating the arrangement on the floor by the desk I heard the door shut.

"Are those from Eric?" he demanded.

I turned to him, and felt my temper flare.

"Yes, they are, actually. Is there a problem with that?"

Sam just looked at me. Arlene didn't know the implications of the words on the card, but Sam clearly did.

"You and Eric." Sam's face was expressionless, and I wasn't in his head, but I had known him long enough to read his body language, and he wasn't happy. If I had to pick an emotion, it would probably be concern. Sam was no big fan of the Viking.

"You know I'm tied to him," I said, trying to keep my voice from rising. "You called him personally and asked him to come here when you knew I was upset."

Sam shut his eyes, bowed his head, took a breath. "Right, I remember. I also remember you telling me you didn't belong to him."

"Things have changed since then," I replied, and even to my ears it sounded weak. I had no idea how to even begin to explain to Sam what Eric and I had been through over the past week.

"He's too deep in their politics," Sam stated. "You'll become a target."

I already am, I thought to myself, and felt a shiver go up my spine. I needed to get away before I said something I shouldn't.

"Sam, look. I appreciate your concern, but this is my business. Eric and I, we're going to see where this goes. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out." I shrugged, and I hoped Sam would believe my bull - or at least pretend to. "I got to get back to my tables," I added, and I knew that would probably motivate him to drop this conversation, or at least put it on hold. Sam took the bar very seriously.

He shook his head, but stepped aside and let me pass by him. I headed back out spent the rest of my shift studiously minding my work, ignoring Arlene and avoiding my boss's pointed stares that shifted between affection, concern and disbelief. It was a long afternoon.

Finally, none too soon, night fell and the dinner staff arrived to take over. I took a few minutes before I left to add up my tips, then retrieved Eric's gift from Sam's office and tried to slip out the door unnoticed - very hard to do when you're carrying an enormous arrangement of flowers. Of course, the night shift gals had to stop me to ooh and aah over the bouquet, and ask me about my new man. I remained elusive on the subject and finally managed to sneak out the door. I walked to my car was digging in my purse awkwardly for my keys when I heard a familiar voice.

"Good evening, Miss Stackhouse."

I turned, and my eyes went wide with surprise as I recognized the face in front of me.

"Rasul!" I said, smiling hugely. He inclined his neck toward me, and he smiled, thought just slightly.

"May I help you with those?" he asked formally, reaching out to take the flowers from me. I blinked at him, confused at both his presence here and in his behavior, both which was very unusual. Rasul and I had spoken several times before, back when he worked for Sophie Ann. He had been very personable, a flirt even, and made a point of turning on the charm whenever I was around. I liked him, and I had been very happy when I heard he survived both the bombing in Rhodes and the Nevada coup.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him as I pulled out my car keys and opened the door.

"Bill Compton was summoned to New Orleans last night," he said "And I was asked to take his place here, to serve as your bodyguard this evening."

I sighed. "You mean my baby-sitter?" I smiled apologetically, but Rasul didn't so much as grin. Okie dokie. I tried a different approach. "Why did Bill have to go to New Orleans?"

"The King requires his assistance in some matters of importance."

Well, that could mean a lot of things. I wanted to get some more information but the way Rasul said it made it clear the subject was closed. I nodded and reached for the flowers.

"I'll take those now, thanks."

I fumbled around for several minutes trying to get the flowers into the back seat of the car without damaging them and then trying to find a way to prop them so they wouldn't fall over during the drive home. My vampire guardian waited patiently. He opened the driver's door for me while I got in, told me he would follow me home, and then shut the door for me too. I honestly had no idea what to make of the situation with him. It was like he was a whole different person and I wondered if he had been treated badly by the new regime.

Rasul trailed me home, opened my car door for me when we arrived, and even walked the flowers to my door for me. Amelia was watching television, and she smiled hugely when she saw my guest. I wasn't sure what impressed her more - the handsome dark vampire or the enormous bouquet of flowers he was holding.

"Amelia, this here is Rasul," I said, taking the flowers from him and placing them on the table. I shrugged off my coat as the witch and the vampire exchanged brief hellos. I noticed Rasul was still standing on the porch and I could have smacked myself for forgetting my manners.

"I'm sorry, Rasul," I said, embarrassed, "Would you like to come in? I can get you a True Blood if you like." I stepped back so he had room to pass, but he didn't move.

"No thank you, Miss Stackhouse," he said, taking a step backward. He inclined his head again. "I'll be in my car if my assistance is required." He turned to my roommate and smiled, a genuine smile like I remembered him having before. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Amelia." I noted how he called her by her first name and I felt a moment of irritation.

"You, too," Amelia said, beaming. She might really like Tray, but she wasn't above a bit of flirting, that was sure.

Rasul turned around and he had whipped out a cell phone and was punching in a number before he even made it back to the car. I slammed the door. Amelia glared at me.

"Bad night?" she asked, her eyebrows raising.

"You have no idea," I muttered, sitting down heavily on the couch. Amelia went over and touched the flowers, bent to sniff them. She was openly impressed.

"Nice flowers," she said with a smile.

"Yep."

"Eric?"

"Yep."

"Did that Rasul bring them?" she asked curiously,

"Nope. Delivered to Merlotte's right during the lunch rush." Amelia burst out in laughter.

"Marking his territory?" she asked and after a moment I nodded.

"I'm sure that's the plan. Eric is really...."

"Possessive?" she finished, smiling. I sighed, nodded. "Well, what do you expect, hooking up with a vampire?" She just loved getting to say that, I could tell.

My nearly sleepless night was finally catching up with me, and I was suddenly tired to the bone. I told Amelia I was going to bed early, and she said something about maybe doing the same. I got up to leave and had a sudden thought.

"Where's Octavia?"

"She left earlier. You remember her saying her sister was really sick? Turns out she has pneumonia and she had to go to the hospital. Octavia drove down to help with the kids."

"Oh, wow," I breathed, feeling a little guilty. I was so wrapped up in my own drama I had almost forgotten everyone else had their own problems. I would say an extra prayer for Octavia and her family tonight, I promised myself.

I got cleaned up and dressed for bed in something of a funk. I kept my phone close by, hoping Eric would call soon. I was going insane not knowing what was happening. Seeing Rasul had made me feel a little bit better, since I figured he'd surely have said something if Eric or Pam had been hurt. I considered grabbing something to eat, but I wasn't the least big hungry even though the only thing I'd had all day was a bowl of cereal. Worry was apparently one of the best diet plans around.

Just as I was climbing into bed to read for a while my cell phone rang. I checked the number and breathed a sigh of relief. I dropped the phone once; I was in such a hurry to answer.

"Hello? Eric?" I wasn't even going to try to sound like I hadn't been stressed.

"You sound distraught, my lover."

I smiled into the phone when I heard his voice. Something in me relaxed, and I felt a rush of warmth.

"Are you okay?" I asked quickly.

There was a short pause before he answered. "Yes, I'm well. Rasul is with you?"

"He's in his car out front."

"Good."

"What's going on? Why is Bill in New Orleans?" Again, a short silence on the other end of the line.

"There are things I can't tell you."

I held the phone away for a moment, feeling hurt. I knew Eric played things pretty close to the vest, but he and I were supposed to be together now, right? He should be able to talk to me, shouldn't he? Isn't that what being in a relationship meant? I terrible feeling welled up inside me and I couldn't even speak. The silence became pronounced.

"I've upset you," Eric said finally. Wow, you think?

"I don't understand why you can't tell me what's going on. I've been watching the news, I already know some about what happened."

"You know what the media has told you," he said, and I could tell by the way he said the words, slowly and deliberately, that he was trying to tell me something without saying anything. I paused. Was he not alone, maybe? Or, another thought, maybe he thought his phone wasn't secure? I shut my eyes, feeling ridiculous. A bugged phone line in a vampire bar? Maybe I'd watched too many movies. Or not. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Thanks for the flowers," I said, abruptly changing both the subject and the tone of my voice.

"Did you like them?" he asked, and I noticed his own voice lightened a bit.

"They're beautiful. They made, uh, quite a statement when they arrived."

I heard him chuckle quietly. I could picture his face, see the little curves that formed by his mouth when he smiled.

"Amelia said you were marking your territory," I continued, putting a little steel in my voice.

"The witch is not entirely unperceptive," he said, sounding not the least bit apologetic.

"Uh huh. And what did you tell Rasul? And don't tell me you didn't say anything to him. He's acting really strange."

"By acting strange, do you mean he is no longer trying to seduce you?"

"Oh, come on, Eric. Rasul never tried to seduce me and you know it." I felt my cave woman rear up in irritation. Bill had taught me pretty well about vampires and jealousy, but I wasn't about to let Eric think he could bully and intimidate my friends. Not that I counted Rasul as a friend, but I did like him and I didn't want him acting differently toward me just because I had a romantic involvement with Mr. Sheriff.

"He barely even spoke to me tonight," I added with a touch of accusation.

"Excellent. He's there to make sure you arrived safely home, not to chat," he replied, and he sounded both matter-of-fact and pleased when he said it.

I sighed. I was nowhere near being done with this particular conversation, but I decided to drop it for the time being. Some things are better dealt with in person, and besides that, I knew Eric would probably have to go deal with bar stuff soon. I didn't want to spend what little time we had arguing.

"I'm going to Clarice with Amelia tomorrow night, to a new restaurant," I offered, thinking that would prompt him into some sort of conversation. It worked, but not how I hoped.

"No."

"Excuse me?" I asked, not quite believing what I'd just heard.

"No, you won't be going to dinner with the witch tomorrow night," he said and he sounded pretty darn sure. Was he really trying to tell me what I could and couldn't do?

"Any particular reason why not," I asked through clenched teeth.

"Several," he said simply.

And that pushed me right over the edge. I had made a pretty darn big concession last night, but I was getting really, really close to regretting it. As much as I cared for Eric, as much as I wanted to be with him, I was not going to be ordered around. Compromise was a two-way street, and he needed to figure that out. All the stress from the day, the pent up emotions, just bubbled up out of control.

"Eric, this has got to stop," I said, and my voice was heated. "I could barely sleep last night I was so worried about you, you know that? But now you won't tell me a thing about what's going on. You won't tell me why Bill is gone. Rasul is acting like he can barely tolerate me, and now you're telling me I can't go out to dinner with my friend! Does this seem, I don't know, just a little over the top, even for you? A little controlling?"

Silence.

"Eric?"

"I'm here," he said after a moment. "I need you to trust me on this."

I huffed out a breath. "You have to tell me why. I'm not going to stay locked up in my house every night without a good reason. And I'm not real thrilled with having vampires sitting outside my house every night either. Amelia has the place warded, and I've rescinded all the invitations I needed to. It's getting out of hand!"

"Sookie," Eric began, and I could feel the strain in his voice, like he was trying not to sound angry. "I have to go. I'll talk to you again."

I heard a click and then nothing.

I sat on the bed and just stared for a long while, not quite believing what just happened. Did he really just hang up on me? This wasn't like Eric - or rather, this wasn't like the Eric I expected. I laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, feeling tears start to well in my eyes. I was emotionally exhausted, sleep deprived and utterly hurt and infuriated. I wanted to call Eric back, but I wasn't the one that one that had ended the conversation! And if he really thought I was going to break plans with Amelia he was crazy. I wasn't in his retinue, and he couldn't pull rank on me. I flipped off the light beside my bed, rolled over and closed my eyes. I said my prayers, then I cried tears of hurt and anger until I finally fell asleep, utterly spent.

I didn't know how long I slept, but I knew it wasn't nearly long enough. I was woken by a strange sensation pulling at me, whispering to me, willing me to get up. I opened my eyes, disoriented at first, then the strange feeling came stronger and when I recognized it my eyes flew open and I was instantly wide awake. Eric was calling to me. Warmth rushed into me at the realization, and a feeling of safety.

I sat up in bed and tried not to move. I turned my thoughts inward and tried to follow the call. I let my body move without conscious effort, and I found myself standing up and walking down the hall, past the darkened living room, through the kitchen and to the rarely used front door. I hesitated a moment, then opened it. Eric looked down at me and I stepped back so he could enter, shutting the door behind him quietly.

We looked at one another for a few moments, then Eric reached out and pulled me into his arms. I held him tightly, placing my cheek on his chest.

"You called to me," I said softly.

Eric didn't release his hold on me. "Yes, and you allowed yourself to hear me and answer."

I pushed away from him, raised my face. "Yeah, well, my shields are a mess. I've been in emotional overload."

He stroked my cheek with his thumb. "I was too abrupt on the phone."

I snickered quietly. Was that an apology?

"Why didn't you just knock on the back door, as usual?" I asked, suddenly curious.

"I didn't want to alert others of my presence. Rasul is still out back and your roommates are asleep."

I nodded. "One roommate actually, but yes."

"And I wanted to test our connection," he continued, sounding pleased. "You answered faster than I would have imagined."

Well, isn't that just great? I wasn't sure how I felt about that yet.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on now?" I asked with some trepidation. I was still very tired and didn't want to argue, but I thought I deserved some explanation.

Eric looked in my eyes a long moment. "The Sheriff of area two was killed last night," he said finally. "She along with her human lover who also worked as her accountant. Two others Sheriffs were injured, one badly. What the media won't tell you, because they don't know, is that the attacks were all focused on businesses owned by vampires in power positions."

I sucked in a sharp breath and closed my eyes tightly. I didn't know any of the new vamps from Nevada that had taken over areas in Louisiana, except Victor. And I wished like hell I didn't know him. But if the Fellowship had specifically been targeting vampires in the power structure...

"Do you think they'll come after you?" I asked, and I held my breath.

"They already tried," Eric answered, and his voice was hot. "We found a bomb in a car parked in the back lot of Fangtasia. It was poorly constructed, but powerful. It was only by chance it didn't detonate. We were very lucky. The bomb squad told us if it had been properly made it could have destroyed the building."

"Oh, no." I felt a tear slide down my cheek. Eric had been with me last night, so he wouldn't have been killed if the explosion had happened. But Pam was at the club, and others I knew. I felt sick, truly sick to my core. Eric touched the tear with his fingertip, then put it to his mouth.

"What about Victor?" I asked after I had processed the new information. I wondered if maybe the Fellowship had inadvertently done me a favor during their rampage. Hey, I could hope, right? Eric actually laughed out loud, very quietly.

"He's uninjured. New Orleans was hardest hit in numbers of attacks, but it was spread out among several businesses. No one was killed in his area, and damage to individual buildings and personnel was relatively minor compared to what happened in the other areas."

I sighed. Figures.

"So why all the secrecy?" I asked. "Why didn't you want to just tell me all this on the phone in the first place?"

"I shouldn't have told you at all," Eric said bluntly. "And I shouldn't have left Fangtasia, but you made it necessary. You're too stubborn for your own good. I have good reason to ask you not to travel right now, but you refuse to yield to my judgment. I came here tonight so you could look in my eyes, and perhaps feel my sincerity through our tie. I won't have you getting angry with me and intentionally putting yourself in harms way just to prove your independence."

I looked down, embarrassed. That was pretty much on-target with what I had planned to do. It was a little uncomfortable having someone around that seemed to know me so well.

I did look in his eyes then, and I did feel some emotions coming from him. He was worried, just as I was. He was feeling protective, too. I picked up a hint of desire, and one emotion that was even stronger, running underneath all of the others. I was blown away as I recognized it, and even more astonished when I recognized the same emotion fluttering in my own heart. Eric and I had apparently crossed the line, the rather significant line, between something close to love and the genuine article. Uh oh. When had that happened? I trembled a little, and Eric reached out to me, running his strong hands along my arms.

"Bill was summoned to New Orleans to help find the ones responsible for the attacks. They left a trace of their scent, and Bill will be able to help track them. The King is livid. The new regime has barely taken control and already he is going to take a hit on income because of this. He is demanding every available vampire in the state assist in the apprehensions."

"Apprehensions?" I asked doubtfully. "You mean killings, right?"

Eric looked at me and smiled. "You don't need to concern yourself with mundane details, my Sookie."

I started to protest but Eric cut me off.

"Don't leave Bon Temps right now. I'm not telling you, but I am asking this of you, as your lover and as the one that shares your blood-bond." He bent down and kissed me gently. "I finally have you as my own, I don't want you taken from me."

"Amelia won't be happy," I said, but it was clear by my voice I was going to do as he asked.

"The witch will survive," he said and he bent down, nuzzling his face in my hair. "Rasul is only here for part of the night, then he has to leave to join Bill and the others. I was allowed to keep a minimal staff to run Fangtasia. I'll send Pam tomorrow night."

"Do you really think all this is necessary? I mean, with everything else going on I'll bet I'm pretty far down on Victor's to-do list." I cringed as soon as I said the words. I really could have phrased that better.

Eric's brows furrowed. "I don't know," he stated, not sounding at all happy. "Something is gnawing at me, but I can't put my finger on it. I'm not comfortable at all and I think it's best not to take chances. I haven't survived as long as I have by being complacent."

I nodded, resigned. "At least Pam will act normal around me," I muttered, still feeling unaccountably irritated at Rasul's standoffish behavior. "What did you say to Rasul, anyway?" I asked, frowning.

Eric laughed. "Let's just say I made it clear that you belonged to me now. Tradition dictates certain behaviors be...adjusted or ceased, out of respect for me and mine. And you are mine, lover." He relished getting to say that, I could tell.

"Okay, whatever," I dismissed it with a wave of my hand. "Can you stay for a while?" I asked, and moved in close to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and peered up at him with what I hoped was a seductive look. He smelled great, and looked even better, as always. And Eric's blood was still running through me, inspiring my libido.

"Nothing would make me happier," he said, looking down at me with longing. "But I must return immediately. It was a risk to leave at all. The King ordered all surviving Sheriffs to remain at their homes or base of operations in case of more violence."

I hugged him to me, and he raised my chin to kiss me with passion, and my temperature zoomed. Then he held me away, and I saw his fangs had descended some. Maybe it was the emotional day I'd had, or the way he'd risked disobeying a King just to come see me, or maybe because I was just completely turned on by the big Viking, but I wanted him right then, as much as I'd ever had.

"We could make it really quick," I suggested, biting my lower lip and grinning. A sound rumbled in Eric's chest and he picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and the way he was holding me we were face to face. He kissed me again on the lips, then on my neck, then he looked back in my eyes.

"You're quite the succubus, you know that?" he said and he grinned hugely.

"Not a very good one, if I can't even seduce you," I pouted.

Eric laughed against my mouth as he kissed me once more, then he lowered me back to the floor.

"Another time. As I told you last night, you are much more than a means to gratification. You're my lover, my Sookie, and I'll wait until I have the time to properly devote to you, as you deserve."

"I hope that's soon," I purred, and I meant it. I felt like I was going to spontaneously combust.

"As do I," Eric said, his eyes filling with warmth. He opened the door and turned to leave, then hesitated. He turned back to me, and it seemed like he wanted to say something. I held my breath, wondering if was going to acknowledge the feelings I had picked up from him earlier, say the words neither of us had yet dared to say.

It took almost a full minute before I realized he was waiting, too. On me. I considered, then held my silence.

"You truly are a stubborn woman," Eric said, his eyes gleaming with humor. Then he smiled at me, moved out the door at vampire speed and was gone, disappearing into the darkness.

Chapter Sixteen

"Sookie, wake up!"

I opened my eyes to find Amelia standing over my bed, shaking me. There was a bright stream of sunlight coming in through the window so I knew it was at least mid-morning. A glance at the clock as I sat up confirmed it.

"What's up?" I asked groggily, blinking my eyes a few times.

"You have to come see this," Amelia said, and she sounded a bit frantic. "Come on."

"Okay, okay," I said and I kicked off the covers and pulled myself out of bed. I couldn't imagine what had my witchy roommate in such a state this early in the day.

I followed Amelia as she headed upstairs to her living area at a run. I followed considerably slower, holding the handrail as I trudged up each stair, still feeling half-asleep. I wondered when I was ever going to get a full night of uninterrupted sleep. Amelia was already perched on her chair in front of the little desk in her bedroom, staring at her computer, when I finally caught up with her.

"Look at this," she said urgently, nodding at the webpage on the screen. I came closer and squinted, leaning over her shoulder.

The page was dramatic, with a black background and white printing. At the top I recognized the Fellowship of the Sun Logo. Under the logo was a smaller line saying 'Taking back Louisiana' and a few sentences I had heard a hundred times before: the 'mission statement' of the group. More like a 'pathetic attempt to justify stupidity' statement.

"Where did you find this?" I asked, and Amelia peered up at me. She reached beside the monitor and handed me a plain white envelope, opened, with a single page enclosed.

"That was on the door this morning. It didn't have a name on it so I opened it."

I pulled out the letter and saw it was typed in large letters. There was a web address listed - I assumed to the page we were now looking at on the screen - and it was signed simply 'A Friend'.

"Alright," I said, frowning. "What's the big deal? There are a bunch of these sites." It was true. I wasn't a big internet surfer, but I was savvy enough to know every crazy group under the sun had a website now, including the radical arm of the Fellowship. There were even online fan clubs for vampires, including one that worked at Fangtasia. She was as scary as a vampire could get, but she had a cult-like following of fangbangers that absolutely worshiped her.

Amelia shook her head. "No, this one is different. Way different." She slid out of the chair. "Sit down," she instructed and I did. "This part required a password but I was able to get around it."

I wondered if there was a special spell for hacking computers, but I didn't ask.

Amelia reached over and took the mouse and clicked on a link labeled 'Louisiana's Most Wanted.' When the page loaded, she started scrolling down slowly and I couldn't believe what I saw. There were pictures of both vampires and humans, some of whom I recognized, most I didn't. Some of the vamp pictures were in black and white, some were looking straight at the camera like they were posing, but most were 'action shots', clearly taken unbeknownst to the subject. Under each photo was a name, and most of them had home and business addresses listed, and then there was the 'crime' each had committed to be included on the page. Under the vampire photos, it just said 'Vampire' (apparently being undead was crime enough to the Fellowship) but under the human's photos it had various things listed - slave, minion and even more nasty designations.

I started to get a really sick feeling as I continued to scroll down. The page seemed to go on and on and I then, about halfway down I saw two pictures side by side that caught my attention. One was a female vampire and the other was a human male, and each had a large red X over the photo.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the screen. An uneasy suspicion began to build inside me.

"Yeah,"Amelia answered, confirming my fears. "It's a hit list, I think. From what I can tell, the pictures with the red X's are vamps and people that have been killed." She scrolled down a little more and there were a couple pictures with yellow X's. "Yellow means they were hurt, I think."

"Oh my God," I breathed, remembering what Eric had told me last night. I didn't know for sure, but I had a good idea the crossed out pictures on the screen were the Sheriff and her consort that had been killed in the attacks, and the other two vamps that had been hurt.

"Is this legal?" I asked, feeling outraged. "How can people put stuff like this online?"

"That's not the real problem we have," Amelia said and clicked at the bottom of the screen where it said 'go to next page' and I sucked in a sharp breath when the page loaded and I saw my own photo staring back at me. It was a picture of me taken in Merlotte's and it must have been recent because I was wearing my winter work uniform. I was carrying a tray and it was obvious the picture was taken without my knowledge, probably by a camera phone judging from the questionable quality. Under the photo was my name, my home address, my place of employment and my 'crime'. I felt tears flow from my eyes as the read the single word: whore. Also on the same page was a photo of Eric, taken at a distance as he was getting into his car; and a photo of Eric's trusted daytime guy Bobby Burnham (he was listed as 'lapdog') taken as he was walking into Fangtasia one day.

I pushed the chair back and stood up, wrapping my arms around myself. I felt like I was going to be sick, and I probably would have thrown up if I had had anything in my stomach. Amelia came up behind me and when I turned around she hugged me.

"How can anyone do that?" I asked, my voice shaking with rage and fear. "How can anyone be so nasty?"

"I don't know. There are a bunch of websites like this, not just targeting vampires. Some have photos of undercover cops, some target religious groups. It's crazy, but the good news is that most of these sites end up being taken down when people start complaining."

"They have my address!" I raised my voice and pointed at the computer. "They know where I work!" I thought about Sam. I would have to tell him, and he was not going to be at all happy. I wondered if Eric knew about this, and I suspected he didn't. I couldn't imagine him - or any vampire - allowing something like this.

I sat back down at the desk and continued to look through the pictures. I found Victor's, but Bill wasn't listed, neither was Pam. I clicked back to the main page and at the very top there was a little counter. Apparently this was a pretty popular place, and I felt another wave of nausea hit me when I realized thousands of crazy fanatics may have seen my photo.

"Don't worry, Sookie," Amelia said. "I'm going to call my dad and see if he knows anyone that could help."

I looked up at her, confused. "Your dad?"

Amelia shrugged. "He knows a lot of people. And he has a really good attorney. Maybe he can give us some ideas on how to get the website taken down."

"Or I can just tell Eric," I muttered. "He could probably take down more than just the damn website, too."

Amelia laughed but I cringed. Did I really just say that, and did I really just mean it? I had to admit I did. I was as outraged as I had ever been, and I felt horribly, horribly violated.

"I'm going to take a shower" I said and strode out of the room and stomped down the stairs, wiping my eyes. I was sick of crying, and being hunted like a dog. I was sick of all the hate and the anger and the constant feeling that something really bad was going to happen any minute. I just wanted to be left alone, to live my life in peace.

As I stepped into the shower and felt the warm water run over me I suddenly remembered it was Sunday and I had missed church. I shut my eyes and made my silent apologies to God, and said a few prayers, including one for Octavia and her family, one for my little cousin and one for myself. It couldn't hurt and right now I felt like I needed all the help I could get. I thought about Eric, and wished I could call him. I needed to tell him what Amelia had found; both to warn him and because I hoped he and the other Louisiana vamps could get that damn website taken down.

I got done cleaning myself up, got dressed for work in my usual outfit, including the silver bracelets and chain Eric had sent me that had become part of my standard uniform. I also spent a little time doing chores I had neglected the past few days. I was running on energy from pure rage.

Finally I sat down to have a bite to eat, still more than a little shaky, and Amelia joined me.

"We still on for dinner tonight?' she asked.

Crap! I had forgotten about that. This might not go over well.

"Eric asked me not to leave Bon Temps," I said hesitantly, keeping my eyes on my food. I could hear my roommate's thoughts, and she wasn't happy. She was going to say something about Eric and vampires and their controlling ways, but then she thought I was already having a bad enough day and she didn't want to upset me further. That was nice of her, and I thanked her silently.

"Pam might be coming over tonight," I offered, and as expected Amelia brightened.

"That's cool. Why does Eric keep sending vamps over here anyway? You think he knows about that website?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. He might." I wasn't going to tell Amelia about Victor, because then I'd have to tell her why he was potentially after me. If she thought it had something to do with the Fellowship, I could live with that.

"So is this going to be weird for you, having Pam around?" I asked, hoping to detour the conversation. Amelia laughed.

"No. Pam and I weren't going anywhere and we both knew it. It'll be fine. You want me to rent a few movies or something tonight? We're almost out of True Blood, too. I can pick some up."

I smiled at my roommate. "Thanks, that would be great." I glanced at the clock and stood up, took my dishes to the sink and washed them before heading out for my Sunday shift.

The bar was pretty busy, and I didn't get a chance to talk to Sam about the Fellowship website until closing time. I was nervous, and I twirled the silver bracelet on my wrist around and around as I talked. Sam just listened quietly when I told him about the picture of me that was taken while I was at work, and about how Merlotte's was listed as my place of employment. To my great relief, he didn't mention a thing about our conversation the day before, or about Eric. Sam could have used this as a perfect excuse to say 'I told you so' but God bless him, he didn't. He just hugged me, said a few choice words about the Fellowship and told me he had my back and would be damned if he let anything happen to me while I was on his watch. I thanked him, grateful for his understanding. Sam was a one in a million friend and I told him so.

As promised, Pam was waiting for me when I left work. She was sitting on the trunk of my car with her legs crossed, looking every inch like a suburban soccer mom. She hopped up gracefully at my approach, and smiled at me.

"Hi," I said, forcing myself to smile and hoping it looked genuine. "You sure you want to do this?"

Pam raised her chin a fraction. "Eric tells me to guard the telepath, I guard the telepath." She looked at my car and her nose wrinkled. "You should get a new vehicle."

"Yeah, well, that's first on my list right after I win the lottery," I muttered, annoyed. It was the nicest car I'd ever had and I didn't have a problem with it at all. I looked around the lot. "Speaking of cars, where's yours?"

Pam walked around the the passenger side and opened the door. "I left it at your house." She slid in at the same time I did. I buckled up and started the car.

"So are you going to come inside, or are you going to hang out in my driveway all night like the guys?" I tried to sound light, but some irritation crept into my voice. I was still unhappy about Eric's intimidation tactics with Rasul.

"I'll come in. I already saw your lovely roommate and she tells me we're going to watch movies." She had a distinct leer in her voice and I looked at her sideways.

"You know she's dating someone now, right?"

"Of course."

We drove in silence for a few minutes, and I wondered how much Pam knew about what happened between me and Eric, and I was curious if she knew about the Fellowship website we'd found. I considered, decided to cut to the chase.

"So I guess Eric told you?"

Pam looked straight ahead, expressionless. "About the change in your relationship? Yes. I hope you're both done playing games. It's very dangerous for us when Eric is distracted. I hope he'll be more focused now that the situation has been resolved."

"I'm not sure anything is really resolved," I said, thinking about Victor. I had no idea how much Eric had told her about that situation and I was hesitant to mention anything.

"Why not?" Pam asked, with a flash of demand in her voice. "Do you not belong to Eric now?"

"I guess so," I said with some irritation. I was still really uncomfortable with that term, though I was pretty sure Pam thought it was a compliment Eric would want me in that way. "There's other stuff going on, though." I left it at that, figuring if Eric told Pam what was going on, she'd understand. And if she didn't, she wouldn't ask.

"Yes, so I gather by my having to be here," she replied neutrally.

I was driving, so I was looking ahead, but I could feel her eyes on me. I turned to glance at her. "I guess you're not so thrilled with having to be here tonight," I ventured. Pam didn't respond for a moment.

"I hope whatever is going on with you won't put Eric in danger."

"I hope so, too," I said quietly. It felt a little strange, sitting there in the car with Pam who had been Eric's sexual partner for who knows how many years. I wasn't jealous exactly, and I knew their relationship was very different now, but there was still a peculiar undercurrent running between us at the moment. I could almost feel it, it was so tangible. It was as if she was protective of Eric, like she wasn't sure I was good enough for him. It reminded me of how a big sister might look at her brother's girlfriend, which struck me as pretty funny considering Pam was younger than Eric by an enormous margin.

"You're worried about him being with me?" I asked, and Pam shrugged.

"Of course I am," she answered. "He's never had feelings toward a human, not as long as I've known him. In fact, he's always frowned on vampires that did harbor sentiments for a particular human. I've enjoyed teasing him immensely, but I can't help but be concerned now that he has finally claimed you. Eric is in a position of great power and responsibility and he has enemies. You are a vulnerability for him." Pam didn't sound like she was being accusing, she was just simply stating a fact. A fact I already knew, since Eric had been very clear on the point.

We were pulling into the driveway, and I parked next to Pam's classy but conservative car. We walked inside, and Amelia was waiting for us.

"Did you tell her about the website?" my roommate asked me without preamble. I favored the witch with a hard look. We hadn't even got our coats off yet and she was already bringing up what could be a very touchy subject.

"I was just about to," I answered.

"What website?" Pam asked, looking between me and Amelia.

"I was going to tell you earlier," Amelia explained "But you were in a hurry to get to Merlotte's to meet Sookie, so I didn't say anything. It's a Fellowship website. I had to hack into it," she continued, pride in her voice now. "It has Sookie's picture and address, and Eric's too and a bunch of other Louisiana vamps."

Pam was showing fang, and she stepped very close to Amelia. "Show me," she demanded and she followed Amelia up the stairs. I went ahead and hung up my coat, then trailed up after them.

Pam's eyes took in the pictures and the information on the screen quickly, and within minutes she whipped out her cell phone to call Eric. Pam explained the situation to him, and I heard Eric's voice very faintly through the phone as he spoke to her, and even that small bit of almost-contact with him made me flush with warmth. After a few minutes, Pam handed the phone to me.

"Eric wants to talk to you."

I took the phone, held it to my ear. Eric's vampire hearing knew I was listening and he spoke before I even said hello.

"Pam is going to stay with you until further notice," he said, his voice deeper than normal, which I noticed happened when he was under stress.

"During the day, too?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes," he replied instantly and I winced, irritated on several levels. First, that it looked like I wasn't going to get a say in the matter, and second because I doubted very much Pam would appreciate having to spend her days in the little hole under the floor in my closet. She struck me as a type that slept either in a big, comfortable bed or at least an upscale coffin (probably with pink silk lining).

I saw Pam was back to perusing the website with Amelia, so I stepped out into the hall.

"Does Pam know about Victor?" I whispered as quietly as I could. I knew Eric would be able to hear me.

"No," he said, and he was being very quiet, too. "I only told her I had reason to be concerned for your safety."

"Okay. What are you going to do about the Fellowship?"

There was a pause. "We're very close to tracking down the ones responsible for the attacks in New Orleans. With luck, they are the same ones that were stupid enough to create that website the witch discovered. Either way, once we make our first apprehension I'm sure we'll get the information we need."

I shuddered. I didn't want to think about that too closely. I had no doubt vampires had very effective methods of getting people to talk, even sing if necessary.

"Sookie," Eric said, his voice sounding very personal. "I wish I could come to you myself, but that's impossible right now. Please take care of yourself, and trust in Pam."

"I will," I said, putting as much of myself into the words as I could. "You be careful, too. Okay?"

"Always. I need to speak to Pam again. I'll talk to you soon, dear one."

"Bye, Eric" I whispered, walking back into the bedroom and holding the phone out to Pam. When I glanced at the computer screen I saw she and Amelia were reading a Frequently Asked Questions page. You've got to be kidding, I thought to myself, and shook my head. Pam took the phone and she and Eric finished up their conversation while I wandered back downstairs in a sort of daze. Amelia followed me.

"Pam's staying here for a while," I told her. "She'll probably need to borrow some clothes. Mine will be too big for her, I think."

Amelia nodded. "No problem. She and I have the same taste and we're about the same size. I don't mind sharing."

Pam joined us a few minutes later and she was wearing one of those vampire fixed stares.

"How did you find that website?" she asked and Amelia ran back upstairs to get the letter. Pam took it from her, looked at it for a few seconds then held it up to her face and inhaled. She winced.

"Smells like Were," she said, walking over to lay the letter on the kitchen table.

"Sookie is a friend of the pack," Amelia said. "Maybe that's what the signature meant."

Pam and I exchanged glances. It was a possibility, especially when I recalled the word friend had been capitalized. I was a little embarrassed I hadn't considered the possibility earlier but I couldn't begin to imagine who might have delivered the warning.

"I understand you have a safe place for me to stay during the day?" Pam asked after a couple minutes. I nodded and stood up, motioned to Pam to follow me and I started down the hall.

"I'll show you. It's kind of small. Bill built it a while back."

Pam shrugged and followed me. "It worked for Eric, I'm sure it will be fine."

I took her to the bedroom and showed her the light-tight space in the floor of the closet. Pam looked around the room and inspected the space without comment. I wasn't particularly thrilled with having a vampire guest stay in my house again, and it was a little annoying that Eric hadn't even asked me my opinion on the subject.

"You really don't have to stay here, Pam," I said. "That website may have been up for a year for all I know. No reason to panic now, right?"

"Eric wants me to stay, I stay," she said, looking at me like I had grown a second head. I sighed loudly.

"Does that ever get old?" I asked, crossing my arms across my chest. Pam just continued to look at me, not speaking. I knew Pam liked me okay, but it will still not a healthy thing to provoke her, so I must have had a moment of temporary insanity because I kept going.

"I know you said you enjoyed working for Eric, but seriously, doesn't it bother you at all that you have to do what he tells you all the time? I know you don't want to have to stay here and sleep in my closet." I barked a laugh. "Who would? Don't you hate not having a choice?"

I realized about halfway through my little rant that I wasn't really annoyed with Pam, I was annoyed with myself. The whole 'mine' thing, the way I let him talk me out of going to dinner with Amelia, the way I didn't even argue when he told me Pam would be staying here. I cared for Eric, possibly even loved him, I thought, but it still went against the grain and against my nature to have someone tell me what to do. Pam was a smart vamp, and tough, and in another circumstance I would bet she would be fiercely independent. I had no idea how she reconciled those qualities with her almost servile relationship with Eric. I wasn't sure I would ever be able to do that, and I wondered if Eric was expecting me to.

Whatever reaction I expected from Pam, it wasn't what I got. She smiled at me, and got a knowing look on her face. Then her smiled dropped as quickly as it appeared.

"I do have a choice, Sookie," she said, and she was very firm. "And I choose to listen to Eric."

"Why?" I asked, honestly curious.

"Eric has lived a very long time," Pam replied, her voice level. "Even in the vampire world he is considered sort of like a village elder. I trust his judgment." She paused, looked at me closely for a few moments. "You should trust him, too."

"Right," I said softly, not feeling like having to explain to Pam the finer points of normal male and female relationships in the real world. "You want to watch a movie?" I asked, changing the subject. Pam shrugged. I took that as a yes.

"Do you have any True Blood?" she asked as we headed back to the living room.

"I'll get you one," I told her and I went to the kitchen while Pam and Amelia decided on which movie to watch. I warmed up the blood and brought it to Pam and took my place on the sofa, not really interested in the movie that was starting. I was thinking about Eric, and I was unusually tense. There was a nagging worry in the back of my head, and I couldn't shake it even though I was trying. I kept looking at the clock about every fifteen or twenty minutes, completely distracted, wondering that he was doing. I heard Pam and Amelia talking and laughing a little as the movie dragged on, but it was like they were far away. Or maybe I was. I was in another world and I was shocked when Amelia spoke to me and I realized the movie was over and two hours had passed.

"That was freaky, Sook," my roommate said and I turned to look at her. "You looked like a vamp sitting over there, you were so still."

I repositioned myself on the sofa, and it was a little uncomfortable. I had been sitting in the same position, with one leg pulled up underneath me for a good while and I was stiff. I stood up slowly, stretching.

"I was just thinking," I said, laughing a bit at myself to alleviate some of the concern I saw in Amelia and Pam's eyes. "You want another blood?" I asked Pam and she handed me the empty bottle she had sat on the table.

"Sure," she told me, and I noticed she was watching me closely. I grabbed another bottle and popped it in the microwave. I got myself a glass of ice water and drank it down while the blood was heating up. As I came back into the living room I had a sudden wave of fear rush over me, and I actually stopped in mid-step. Pam was in front of me in an instant.

"What's wrong?" she asked, looking worried. "You've lost color."

I didn't doubt that. I felt like all the blood had run out of my whole body. But then the moment of fear passed, and I took a breath and steadied myself.

"I'm okay," I said, hoping I sounded more convincing than I felt.

I handed the bottle to Pam, walked back over to the couch and sat down, but the vampire didn't move. She just stood there in the middle of the floor, completely still, holding the bottle.

"Pam?" Amelia asked, worried.

Then the bottle Pam was holding broke into a thousand pieces in her hand, spraying the thick, red liquid all over, and she fell to her knees on the floor. Her face twisted in agony and her hands flew to head. She raised her head and screamed, a horrible, painful scream that terrified me in its intensity.

Amelia and I were at her side in an instant, and when I tried to touch her Pam smacked my arm away hard. She fell forward, her palms hitting the floor.

"Master," she whispered in a voice so chocked full of pain it chilled me to my core. "I'm coming, Master, please..."

I looked over Pam's head and caught Amelia's panicked eyes. Pam was talking about Eric. I felt my heart turn cold.

"What's happening?" Amelia screamed, reaching out to Pam, but stopping just short of touching her.

And just then Pam was herself again. She stood up in a move so fast it was just a blur to my eyes. Pam's face was composed again, but she was trembling. I had never seen Pam like this before and it was a terrible thing. She reached down with unsteady hands and found her cell phone. She flipped it open and punched in a number while Amelia and I just stared, afraid to speak or move. Pam waited. No one answered. She dialed again and it was the same.

"No! NO!" she screamed, and she grabbed her purse and was out the door in an instant. Amelia and I followed her.

"Pam!" I yelled as I saw her start to get in her car. She paused, stood still for a few seconds then turned to me.

"What's wrong?" I demanded, feeling a rising wave of panic. I ran over to her, looked in her eyes, grabbed her arm. "Is it Eric? Please, you have to tell me!"

Pam closed her eyes, seemed to steady herself. When she spoke again, it was calm, but not without a faint quiver.

"Eric has called me. I have to go."

"He called you?" I repeated, horrified. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I don't know!" she said, raising her voice, and she turned away from me. "He's never called to me like that before, ever." She was looking straight ahead into the darkness, her eyes far away. "It was so strong," she continued quietly, her face looking deeply concerned. "And then he just stopped. That's not like Eric. Every time he's ever called to me it was a continuous pull, and he's never caused pain like that. He's never needed to. I've never disobeyed his call. He knows that. Why would he..." She trailed off, looked back to me and met my eyes. "I don't understand," she said so quietly I could barely hear.

"Pam, please," I begged her and she seemed to make a decision.

"Get in the car. You're coming with me," she ordered, then looked at Amelia standing on the porch and motioned to her. "You, too." She glanced at me. "Eric ordered me to protect you, and he's also called to me. I don't understand what's happening, but I'm going to try to obey both commands by taking you with me."

I paused, but only for a minute. I was desperate to know what was happening, and within a minute all three of us were in the car and Pam was racing down the road, slinging gravel and dirt. Her hands were clutching the steering wheel so hard I was surprised it didn't break. No one spoke for a long time; the atmosphere in the car was sparking with tension and fear.

Pam had her cell phone out and she kept trying to call Eric over and over on his cell. She tried calling Fangtasia, too and each time no one answered Pam became more and more agitated. Her fangs were out and her eyes were shooting sparks. She looked like she was possessed and I was praying we didn't get pulled over. Pam was driving erratically and very, very fast but I knew, in her current state, she would kill anyone that tried to get in her way. Amelia was in the backseat, and she and I were hanging on for dear life as Pam raced over one hundred miles per hour in her conservative but very powerful car, and we were flung from side to side violently as she took turns at breakneck speeds.

We made it to Shreveport in record time, and finally we came to the turn that would take us to Fangtasia. As soon as we cleared the corner we saw the lights and Pam started to shake. There were police and fire vehicles up and down the entire street, and traffic was blocked. People were standing around staring, and some people were taking pictures on cell phones and laughing and pointing. Billowing black smoke was spiraling into the air. Pam slammed the car into park, opened the door and took off down the street like a bullet. Amelia and I got out of the car more slowly, and stood beside the open doors, staring ahead with wide eyes. My heart was racing, and I heard Amelia say 'Oh my God' when we finally realized what was happening.

Fangtasia was burning.

Chapter Seventeen

I registered the scene before me with horror. I could see the smoke spiraling up like a tornado above Fangtasia, and the sounds of sirens pierced the air. Injured fangbangers were stumbling around; coughing and cursing and frantic thoughts were slamming into me from all sides. Somewhere in this chaotic mess was my Eric.

Amelia and I slammed the car doors shut and started off down the street, only to be stopped quickly by a burly police officer walking toward us and holding his arms out to prevent our advance.

"Whoa there, ladies," he said and nodded at Pam's car. "You can't leave that car parked there, you have to move it. We got emergency vehicles that are going to need to get through here."

I could have hit him, and I actually considered doing just that for about two seconds before my common sense kicked in. I reeled in my frustration with effort. His brain was telling me he was a decent guy and he wasn't trying to cause us any trouble, he was just trying to do his job and keep the street clear. I turned to Amelia; she was staring at the cop.

"Where can we park it then?" she asked, and God bless her she sounded a lot more calm than I was.

"I don't care, but it's not gonna be on this street," the officer told us with a no-nonsense tone in his voice, then his expression changed a bit as he looked us over. "You look like nice girls. Y'all should probably just get yourselves back on home. We got us a rough crowd here and we don't need no one else getting hurt."

Amelia stiffened and started to make a remark, but I gave her a sharp look and shook my head just a fraction. The officer wasn't trying to be a condescending jerk, he was thinking about his own daughters and that he wouldn't want them around a dangerous situation like this.

"Yes sir," Amelia said, taking my hint. "I'll move it right now."

The officer nodded and then turned his attention to a news van that had pulled up and was trying to weave its way into the street. I heard the officer tell the news people they couldn't go any farther and they weren't nearly as polite in their response as Amelia had been.

"Go catch up with Pam," Amelia said quietly, grabbing my arm. "I'll take care of the car."

"Okay," I said, thankful beyond words for my roommate. I didn't know what was happening, and I didn't know what I could do, but I knew I had to do something. I had to find Eric. I glanced at the officer and found he was still heavily engaged in an argument with a mouthy news crewman who was yelling about freedom of the press and nazi police tactics. Even in my rattled emotional state I had to shake my head. I was pretty sure that approach wasn't going to get the news van one inch farther down the street.

I ducked onto the sidewalk and started weaving my way through the throng of people that were standing around gawking at the carnage. I was on such an adrenaline rush I was having a lot of trouble maintaining any semblance of polite behavior as I bumped into one person after another in my attempt to get closer to the club. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally made it to the front of the crowd only to be stopped by more officers who were setting up temporary barricades around the building and stringing up yellow crime scene tape. I whipped my head around frantically, leaning as far as I could over the line of tape, searching for any sign of Pam or Eric or anyone I knew. I was in such a state of panic I felt like I was going explode at any second. I started making my way farther down the perimeter line, just to be moving.

I watched helplessly as firemen walked in and out of the front doors of the club, pointing and talking amongst themselves. I listened in on the brains around me and found out from a smallish man in a suit and tie and long black trench coat that he believed the destruction was caused by a bomb, and that there was a lot of damage. My hand went to my heart and I sucked in a sharp breath. The front of the club looked okay, so the destruction had to be concentrated in the back. Back where Eric was usually sitting when he enthralled the fangbangers; back where Eric's office was located. I started to shake, and then cry and I think I would have come completely unglued if not for a firm, cool hand that suddenly gripped my forearm.

"Pam!" I wailed, turning to look at her face with relief. "Did you find Eric?"

"Come with me," she said, not answering my question. She maneuvered her way through the crowd with much more ease than I had managed and before long I found myself at the rear of the bar, which was buzzing with activity. I saw Eric's red corvette parked in it's usual spot; it appeared to be undamaged, though it was peppered with dirt and debris. I watched as a paramedic crew carried out a severely injured fangbanger on a stretcher and a police officer was talking to an unfamiliar vampire off in a corner of the lot, asking questions and writing some things down in a black notebook. A couple firemen walked right in front of us and one of them was talking on a cell phone; he was telling whoever was on the other end of the line that there was at least one casualty and I felt my heart rate speed up. Pam must have noticed, because she turned to me and gave me a concerned look.

The suit and tie man whose mind I had read earlier came striding around the building just then, and behind him was a woman wearing a black jacket with the word 'coroner' on the back. They headed around to the back door and the man pointed inside.

"Up and to the right," he was telling the woman. "There's an office. Not much left of him, though."

I choked out a sound and Pam squeezed my arm. I felt faint and I may have sagged to the ground if not for Pam's voice in my ear.

"Follow me. Don't stop," she instructed and then she ducked under the police tape and I followed her closely. She slid into the back door with me on her heels and we pressed ourselves into a dark corner while Pam appeared to be listening to something only she could hear. The lights were all out and the building was dark except for the bouncing lights from flashlights and the faint glow coming through the open doors. There was a foul smell that I recognized all too well, though the last time I smelled it was when my own house had been set ablaze. The entire back of the bar was completely destroyed, wires and pieces of ceiling were hanging down, and debris littered the ground. The area of the bar that was home to Eric's usual chair was completely blown away and when I saw that a small sob escaped my throat. Pam said 'shhh' and I struggled to calm myself and remain silent.

A couple of uniformed men strolled passed us a few seconds later without looking in our direction, and once they were gone Pam tugged at my sleeve and we made our way quickly along the wall and up to Eric's office. I stood outside what was left of the door, absolutely unable to go in, afraid of what I might see. Pam didn't even hesitate, just strode into the office like she owned the place. Of course, I reminded myself, she actually did own the place. Half of it, anyway.

I peeked my head in and saw the room was empty except for the woman in the coroners jacket who was kneeling over something on the floor. She stood up when Pam entered and I pressed my back against the wall outside the door and closed my eyes, shaking. I realized for the first time I couldn't feel Eric and the shaking became uncontrolable. Oh, please God, No! I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly feeling very cold.

"Who are you?" I heard the coroner demand.

Pam's voice took on a soothing tone and she slowed her words when she answered. "My friend out there and I need to gather some personal items from this room, and I want you to stand outside the door and not let anyone in for a few minutes."

There was a rather substantial pause, but then I heard the woman say 'Okay' and she walked back out to the hall and stood beside me. She had a blank stare on her face and she might as well have had 'Kiss me, I'm glamoured' written on her shirt.

"Sookie, come in here. We don't have much time."

Something in Pam's voice roused me from the fear that had gripped me and I hesitantly pushed myself away from the wall. I took slow, unsteady steps into the room and glanced around, feeling my heart breaking as I did so. Eric's office looked every bit as bad as the rest of the building. The walls were riddled with holes, the furniture was destroyed and there were puddles of water on the floor from the fire hoses. There were several small, portable lighting units scattered around the room, and I saw Pam kneeling over a body on the floor. I exhaled with a profound relief when I realized the body was still intact, at least mostly. A vampire would have been nothing but black sludge by now.

"It's Bobby," Pam told me unemotionally, standing up but keeping her eyes fixed on the burnt corpse. "He meets with Eric every Sunday night to get his assignments for the following week."

"Thank God," I whispered, thankful beyond words it wasn't Eric. But then I squeezed my eyes shut when I realized what I'd said.

Pam looked at me with raised eyebrows and actually cracked a smile, but only for a moment. Then she was pacing the room, kicking over broken pieces of furniture and looking around on the floor. She reached out to move a large piece of drywall and I saw her eyes flash. She took a step back, summoned me over.

"What is that?" she asked, pointing to a strand of what looked liked wiring on the floor. I kneeled down and picked it up, blew on it to remove some of the dust that was coating it, and gasped when I realized what I was holding.

"It's silver," I said, and I got down knees, ignoring the cold water from the floor that soaked through my pants, and began to use my bare hands to brush away more dirt and loose papers and splintered wood from the floor. I found another silver strand, longer than the first, then another and another. I gathered all the pieces in my hand and pulled hard, and realized they were all part of one large, unit. I'd seen one of these before.

"It's a net," I said and I looked up at Pam who was staring straight ahead and not moving. I stood up and grabbed Pam's arm hard and she didn't budge, so I shook her a little and still got no response; it was like she was in a trance. I cursed under my breath and started looking around the room myself, taking care not to step on poor, dead Bobby Burnham. I didn't know what I was looking for, but I was desperate to find something, anything, that would help me figure out what had happened to Eric. A silver net certainly was not something a vampire would keep lying around his office, so someone - or several someones - had brought it in here. But for what reason? To kill? To incapacitate? My mind was racing out of control and I was trying to put all the pieces together, but I missing far too much of the puzzle to get a clear picture.

"He's not here," Pam said suddenly, finally breaking free of her trance. She looked at me. "Eric hasn't been killed, Sookie."

I breathed a sigh of relief and shut my eyes, felt my shoulders sag. The words sounded like music to my ears.

"Are you sure?" I asked her breathlessly, and she nodded slowly.

"Yes. I've talked to many vampires who have lost their sires and they all told me they felt differently afterward, as though a weight had been removed they never realized they were carrying." She took several steps closer to me, stared me right in the eyes. "I feel no different. I'd know if my maker were finally dead. I'm certain of it."

Pam walked past me and grabbed hold of Eric's big desk that had been overturned and was now scorched and water damaged. She pulled the desk upright like it was just a toy, and it crumbled under the pressure. Pam squinted, her vampire eyes catching something in the dark mine couldn't see. She reached down slowly, and picked up something from the floor by the shattered desk.

"Eric's cell phone," she said, holding it up. It was blackened and partially melted.

"His car is still here," I said softly. "And he would never go anywhere without his phone."

"He's been taken," she hissed, and she tossed the phone to the ground with disgust.

"Who would be strong enough to get the jump on Eric in his own bar? In his own office? Who would even try that, especially when the club is open and all those people are around?" I asked in disbelief. It sounded crazy.

"I don't know," Pam said harshly, and she turned her face to the ceiling and inhaled deeply several times. She walked slowly around the room, tasting the air.

"There was a vampire in here tonight," she said, and she closed her eyes.

I sucked in a sharp breath, immediately thinking of Victor, but Pam squashed that idea with her next words.

"Not a scent I recognize," she continued. "But it could be nothing more than a visitor to the area checking in with the Sheriff. I als