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Dear Sam: Advice to the Undead Love Loren
Disclaimer: Please note, I do not own these characters, merely having fun with them and would never even think about publishing these or anything else related to Ms. Harris work :)
Please note, this is not really meant to sound like the real Eric or Sookie, this is meant to be written from a comedic standpoint. This is one that I began but then took in another direction by writing Better Married then Dead. If the stories seem similar this is reason.
Merlotte’s was just closing and Sookie was exhausted; there seemed to be more FoTS members showing up everyday and she was sick of hearing their disturbing anti-vamp thoughts. Not to mention Arlene’s frosty glare when one of her vamp friend’s names were mentioned or they decided to visit.
Also she had dropped an entire tray of drinks when a drunken college boy grabbed her rear end; Sam kicked him out immediately. She was looking forward to doing nothing more then going home, having a bath and eating the container of Cheri Garcia that she had been saving.
The Sook was just plain exhausted emotionally, mentally and physically if just one more thing went wrong she was going to scream and that is when Eric walked in.
He was angry; she could tell from their blood bond.
He marched right up to her and demanded “why did you tell Pam to give me the message to go fly a kite?” Sookie sighed, she was so tired of this game that they seem to play; it was not like she wanted to be bonded to him in the first place.
“Eric” she snarled back in a voice worthy of any vampire “sorry about that, she got my message wrong; it was drop dead” and with that she marched out of the bar and left in her car.
He yelled after her “where are you going? We have bonded and have made love; you should be mine”
Sam who was finishing up for the night witnessed the exchange and sighed. He had to admit that he had developed a grudging liking and respect for the ancient Viking even if his being around meant that Sookie was often sad or angry. Then there was the getting shot, staked and beaten up; but that wasn’t actually Eric doing any of that.
“Bye Sookie, have a safe drive home and don’t pick up any strange men running half naked and barefoot down the road”. This earned him a nasty glare from Eric
Against his better judgment he felt it was time for a talk to heart talk about this, besides he had promised he would. So he put a True Blood in the microwave and motioned the glowering vampire over to the bar.
“Eric please have a seat” he said placing the True Blood on the bar in front of him “it is time we had a talk”.
Eric sat down and fumed. Why was this mere slip of a mortal girl causing him such anguish? He wasn’t used to caring about anyone in the first place and didn’t like the fact that her touch made him feel ‘alive’; as if that was possible. Yet here he was acting like according to Pam “a love sick fool” (apparently she got this term from some girly pop song). How can a 1000 year old vampire act this way? He didn’t even like hanging around with humans. In the past until he met her, he only went to Fangtasia, his home, vampire hosted events and area meetings. Now here he was haunting the crappy bar she worked at and even standing outside her house sometimes trying to make sure that no one like was trying to hurt her. Like her own, personal vampire stalker.
The only time that he has not been miserable in the past couple weeks since he got his memory back was when he learned that the bill allowing vampires and humans to marry (which was heavily influenced by him) was passed. Time to put his idea for a new business venture into action.
Speaking of Pam, he knew she was trying to help, but offering to have sex with him while dressed in a flowered dress while her hair was in ponytail on top of her head was hardly helping. Nor was putting all the blond fang-bangers first in line to approach his ‘throne’ either. Had to love his child though; she truly believed that cure all for bad moods was a good screw.
Perhaps he needed a vacation.
Wouldn’t Sookie look lovely in a bikini taking a moonlight stroll along a beach and even better, making love with him in the waves without her bikini?. He squashed that thought flat.
Sam looked at the expression on Eric’s face and rolled his eyes; it was going to be a long night
“Look, I would never want to interfere with…whatever is going on between you and Sookie, but you guys have to work this out, it is bad for my business and bad for her, I can’t have my wait staff mooning around or crying their eyes out all the time”.
“I tried to talk to her about it, but she just runs off or takes up with some disreputable male. I want this resolved to and the quicker the better, Pam has threatened to ban me from my own bar for my rages as of late” shot back the vampire.
Sam leaned over the bar and fixed him with the “I’m listening” expression that bartenders everywhere assume when dealing with drunken patrons. He tried not to snicker out loud about what was being implied about Alcide and Quinn. Both highly respected in the shifter community.
“Have you tried asking her out?”
“I ask her out all the time when I am in need of her abilities.”
Sam felt like groaning “I mean have tried courting her? Asking her out on a date? Doing something that doesn’t involve vampire politics, just you and her together?”
“Is that what she would like me to do?”
“It couldn’t hurt to ask her out on a proper date, Sookie is no fang-banger, she is a lady and needs to know that she is valued and respected before she can really emotionally invest herself. Your technique of telling her that she will yield to you or that you claim ownership of her just leaves her hurt, confused or puts her in a murderous rage.”
“But she is my blood bonded and therefore she is mine, but she resists all the time”.
“How did they court back in the days that you were among the living?”
“The marriages were arranged by our parents, they paid for the bride essentially and sex was to be had with slaves until the wedding night.”
'Wow, that explained a lot', thought Sam “very Conan the Barbarian of you. When were you planning to rape and pillage her?”
“I have never forced a woman in my life” roared Eric. Then looking confused asked “Who is Conan?”
“Whoa, whoa, I didn’t mean anything by it. I am just saying that if you want to get to get to know a lady in these times, you start by asking her out on a date.
“What does one do on a date anyway?”
Sam suddenly felt like he was explaining the birds and the bees to a young boy for a second, rather then conversing with a 1000 year old vampire.
“Well, it can be anything really as long as it is fun and you do it together, going bowling, going to see a movie, a play, going dancing, getting a drink, going to a place like this, stuff like that. Just be nice, relax, enjoy yourself and pay for the girl unless she insists on paying her way.”
“Sookie would like if I asked her to come here?”
“I would start by asking her to a movie; ask her nicely, don’t mention anything about yielding, blood bonding or belonging to anyone”
“How will this help me get Sookie to make love to me again?” I buy her presents all the time; I have taken bullets for her. What more can I do?”
Sam suddenly felt like hitting Eric, but refrained “You get to know her, get her to trust you and then she might want to if you treat her right and with respect.”
“This helps human males have sex? Seems like a long, long hard way just to get sex especially when I can just get it anytime by gesturing to a fang-banger to follow me to my love nest in the bar.”
“That might be part of the problem; she knows that. I would start by saying Sookie, Miss Stackhouse, I am sorry of my behaviour as of late. Can I make it up to you by taking you so see a movie?”
“Her brother Jason doesn’t date like this that I noticed.”
Both Eric and Sam traded a look of disapproval at the mention of Jason Stackhouse; neither were a fan of his.
“Yes well, Jason tends to date the equivalent of fang-bangers and I am sure there are plenty in crossovers in that department.”
“I’ll think about it, I have to go. Thanks for the drink, I shall try to smooth things over so your ‘wait staff’ doesn’t give you anymore trouble.”
Sam watched the tall blond vampire walk out and wondered if his discussion would bring about anything; after all the Viking was just as proud and stubborn as Sookie.
Perhaps that is why they seemed so hard on each other.
Sookie heard a knock on her door and was surprised to see Eric; she didn’t recall him ever knocking before. More Angry Eric; her night was now complete. She opened the door nevertheless.
“Hi, Eric, I see you didn’t follow my advice in that you are still alive, as far as that goes with you….”
The rest of what she was saying was cut off when he took her in his arms and began to kiss her, he smiled into their kiss when he felt her arms come around him.
He pulled back and said “Sookie, I am sorry for my behaviour as of late, I have been….on edge since Felipe de Castro took over. Perhaps I can take you to see a movie on your next night off to discuss this?”
Sookie as taken aback, Eric was asking her on a date, part of her wanted at tell him to drop dead again while her inner girly girl twirled and squealed. She hesitated for a second. “Sure, there is one that I have been dying to see, I am off on Tuesday.”
Eric brightened visibly “that would be great; I will call you when I am in front of a computer so that we can look up the times for it.”
That Tuesday Eric pulled up in front of Sookie’s house, he could almost feel the weight of her two roommates, the Witches gazes upon him.
He got out of the car and brought with him the bouquet of roses that Sam had suggested by email that he bring; pale pink ones. Feeling slightly foolish he rang the bell and it was opened by Sookie herself looking lovely in a knee length floaty skirt and tight black top. He himself wore black jeans and a blue sweater. “These are for you”
She thanked him and went to put them in water, then returned to the door.
“I would invite you in but Octavia is making pasta and the entire place smells of garlic.”
“Well imagine that” he replied dryly suspecting that it was no accident, Amelia seemed to accept him in a sense, but Octavia remained suspicious of him.
He helped her into his Corvette and off they drove to the movie theater in Shreveport; Sookie seemed rather nervous about talking to him. Wanting her to relax he tried to hold her hand while driving and was informed he was to keep it on the wheel if he was going to endanger both their lives (just hers technically) by having a lead foot.
They got to the theater, picked up their tickets and Eric insisted on buying her a popcorn and huge drink despite her protests. Then found their seats. He teased her that he should buy her the car in the commercial before opening credits and she threw a piece of popcorn at him.
When the movie started he took her hand. During a scary bit, she let out a little shriek and shrank against him; he had to laugh, she had encountered demons, werewolves, witches and a whole myriad of Supes in real life without flinching and a Hollywood ghost popping out a closet scared her. Not to mention she was sitting in a dark movie theater with a highly dangerous vampire.
Either way he put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. It was nice to hold her while watching the movie; it was something he had rarely ever done or thought about doing with a girl. He loved the way she smelled and enjoyed the feel of her body. It reminded him of the time that he lost his memory and they became so close; she used to call him Honey and caress him as she walked by him. He missed that.
After he took her to dinner at a restaurant that served both Supes and Human, she decided to be spontaneous and order off that menu meant for demons and was horrified when she was served some sort of large purple bugs. Which he laughingly instructed the waiter to take them away and bring her a cheese burger and fries.
Finally he took her a jazz bar on her request, there was a Zydeco band playing that night and she insisted on them dancing, he had honestly never danced to that type of music before but picked it up pretty fast. They really stood out; it wasn’t very often people got saw a 6 ft. 5’ undead vampire and a beautiful blond dancing so well together. They even got some applause and then whistles and hoots when he took her in his arms dipped her low and kissed her on the dance floor. When s slow song came on they just naturally drifted together without either one asking.
At the end of the night, he drove her home and walked her to her porch.
“Eric, thank you, I had a great time. Would you like to come in” she said feeling the lust start to build between them. He gently pulled her against him and began kissing her wordless; she gripped his shoulders and brazenly ran her hands down his shoulder blades until she placed them on his buttocks. He gently eased her away from him and said
“I know that you will think that I am crazy but I don’t think we should make love right away.
She was startled. This was Eric turning down sex? “Who are you and what have your done with Eric?”
“I sense that you are not ready for that yet and so I think we should wait a bit. When is you next day off?"
“I have Sunday off. Would you like to do something then?
He smiled “sounds like a date to me”
Sam was tending bar when the phone rang, he picked it up and said “Merlottes”
“Hi Sam, it is Eric."
“Hi Eric, what can I do you for?”
Eric kind of paused at this strange expression; perhaps he should have considered other positions as Sheriff before he chose the South.
“I took her on a date and am wondering if you have any suggestions for date two.”
“Ah, did date one go well?”
“She seemed to like it and didn’t cry once the whole night.”
Sam kind of pondered this. What the hell was he talking about? Sookie hardly ever cried.
“Well now that you have taken her to town; why not take her to you place and make her dinner?”
“A vampire….cooking? I haven’t prepared any prepared any food for over 970 years.”
“Well it was just a suggestion, you don’t have to if you don’t want to but girls really like that.”
This really gave Eric pause; he had suddenly an image of himself in an apron with a puffy chef hat on. He didn’t like the image at all.
“Perhaps Pam can cook or I can get it catered.”
“Pam is also a vampire if I am not mistaken.” Replied Sam trying not to grin, he was getting the same image as Eric without even realizing that they were channeling each other. “How hard it is to print out a couple of recipes and make a meal for a gal? There are other spices besides garlic you know.”
Eric groaned silently, he had lives 1000 years to become a personal chef to a mortal woman. He honestly had thought that the gods were looking out for him, until now.
“Okay, I’ll do it; could you email me some recipes that she might like? By the way, what do all these dates lead to?”
Sam pondered on this and then answered “Well, normally you eventually ask her to go steady with you after about say five or six dates, if things are going well about a year later you buy her a diamond ring, plan a wedding, get married, move in together and have kids.”
“Sounds like a lot of work. Why not just ask her to move in right away?.”
Yeah, Sam could just see Sookie’s expression if Eric was to suggested that.
“As I explained, she is a lady and you can never rush them, you have to let her set the pace and understand this; if you break her heart I shall set every Shifter and Were in Shreveport and Bon Temps on your trail with orders to bite you and personally stake you myself when they are done with you. Bye, have a nice evening.” And with that Sam hung up getting the last word for once.
Eric was in his office at Fangtasia answering some email, when he picked up the phone to call his human assistant. “Hi Bobby, Eric here, I need your help”.
Bobby of course said the prerequisite “yes master, how may I serve you?” in his usual unflappable tone.
“I just emailed you a grocery list and some a list of some cooking supplies I shall need as well. Pots and pans mainly, I think you can buy them in Wal Mart.” He really wasn’t sure where people bought these things; he just knew that Sookie bought hers there as she seemed to buy everything there.
Bobby was mildly surprised by the request, but was quite used to getting odd requests from vampires most closely connected to the bar. Just the other day Thalia asked for a box of baby diapers; the type meant for big, big babies. There were some things about the people that he worked for that he didn’t want to know.
“Should I send them to Miss Stackhouse’s place?” He inquired; he could practically recite her address by heart. Everything seemed to go there these days.
“No, have them delivered to my place, oh and get me a barbeque, one of those large chrome ones with all the side burners on it.”
Bobby set down the phone and placed the orders for delivery; if the Master was hosting a pool party for his fang-bangers, it was hardly his business.
Sookie dressed causally as was suggested, but she had arranged her hair into loose curls and put on a little makeup for the evening. When up her driveway roared the Corvette she was expecting.
“Sookie, Mr. Dead and Delicious is here” said Amelia who answered the door “what to borrow my silver choker for the evening?”
Sookie had to laugh at her roommate; the witch always seemed to like bugging her Sheriff “you have my permission to bite her if you would like. Be out in a second” she called back.
What she saw when she got out of the washroom was the delicious sight him wearing a tight top and tight jeans that clung to his long legs. He smiled when he felt her lust rippling along the bond. “See something you like?” he asked striking a pose and trying to look innocent at the same time. It just didn’t work.
Shaking her head slightly she asked “so what are we doing tonight?” He held her coat for her and said as causally as possible “well I thought that you might like to come to my place for dinner and perhaps watch a movie with me. I remember that you like to do that on your nights off. There were three stunned women staring at him after he said that statement.
“You got her take out? I mean she can’t obviously eat the same thing as you.” Inquired Amelia.
“Nope I got a new barbeque and have ribs marinating ready to be tossed on there along with corn on the cob and already made biscuits. You do like to eat that stuff right?”
“Um, sure. That sounds really nice.” Sookie said as she was helped into her coat.
They pulled in front of a large modern Victorian style house in an upscale part of Shreveport. It was large, it was intimidating; it was very Eric.
“Wow”, she exclaimed. Eric waggled his eyebrows and explained “you know about what they say about a man’s house. The larger the house, the larger the bed and I have a huge one.” Leering at her with a fang showing.
The inside was even more impressive, all dark tones and leather furniture and of course the necessary flat screen TV the size of a movie screen.
“Very masculine, you definitely are a bachelor” replied Sookie looking for signs that Pam might live there too, but something told her in the way that the place was laid out that no feminine touch had been on this place except perhaps to dust it. It was in her eyes, very large, very spacious and rather on the dark side for her tastes.
The rest of the rooms reflected this same taste. Expect the kitchen was huge for a vampire’s house with all chrome applicances.
The main bedroom had a California king size bed that had a faux wolf bed spread on it, a fire place with surprise, surprise more fur throw rugs before it. The en-suit bathroom was something else: black marble counter tops, red walls a huge steam shower and a jacuzzi bath tub large enough to host and orgy in. Sookie blushed when she saw his tub.
The second bedroom hosted an office Bill Gates would be proud to own.
The other two bedrooms held a queen size bed for guest use Sookie supposed.
This place is pretty impressive, "you must entertain a lot" (she had visions of Eric cavorting in that huge bed with lots of fang-bangers; not an image she cared for).
"Actually, Except for my maid, gardener and Pam, you are the only other person to see this place. I don't entertain much partially for security about my daytime resting place and also, I like to have a place I can just relax and just be myself."
"So you don't bring dates here?" she clarified.
“No, I sometimes bring Pam here and we hang out together or a bring telepathic barmaids named Sookie here. Now, can I get you a drink while I get your dinner ready?” Inquired Eric “or would you just like to take a shower together again.” liking the slight discomfort he felt coming from her at that suggestion.
“Sure a drink sounds good. Are you actually going to cook?”
“Yes, but first I think we should do this” he lifted her up and set her on the kitchen island, pulled her tight against him and began kissing her. She reacted by putting her arms around him and pulling him closer to deepen their kiss. He lightly ran his hand up her side and cupped her breast and gently tweaking her nipple through her bra. She moaned and strained against him feeling him being to harden in response to her rising arousal. He thrust against her dampening folds and then pulled himself back with effort. She made a noise of protest; it had been too long for her.
“Later Lover, dinner first and dessert afterwards.” Said the smirking Viking as he lifted her off the counter and fixed her a gin and tonic. He then grabbed the ribs from the fridge and led her outside to his deck beside the pool. He just managed to dodge the dishtowel she threw at him.
Sookie was surprised at what a nice deck he had, lots of potted plants, nice patio furniture and the largest chrome barbeque she had ever seen. “Wow, do a lot of sun tanning out here?”
“No, but feel free to use it whenever you are here, it is a damned sight more private then your front lawn.” He countered.
That he offered to let her have the run of his place made her feel all squishy inside. She was really enjoying his renewed interest in her; it was kind of like they were back at her place when he lost her memory. No vampire shit involved, no stupid politics, no one breaking down her door to kill her.
Still watching him cook food on the grill for her made it seem like she was on a date with a regular guy. Not that he was or that she had really ever been on a date with a regular guy.
“Okay ready” he said holding out a plate of ribs, corn on the cob and biscuits out to her.
She just started sobbing.
“Sookie, are you okay, don’t you like ribs? Is there something else I can get you instead” said the startled vampire and he awkwardly scooped her onto his lap. He hated when she cried.
She just clutched him tight to her and sobbed it out “sorry, just think that this is the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me and I feel happy.”
He sighed, not quite understanding but willing to go with it.
“Don’t you understand yet, I would do anything to make you happy and hopefully not crying all the time” he ended on a rueful note.
That made her start to cry again much to his chagrin. He just held her throughout and on inspiration became to kiss her tears away. She responded by meeting his lips with her own.
“Oh no, not that again, not until we have our talk and figure this out. Why are you so scared to talk to me about how you feel about us?”
Sookie was now starting to get annoyed. “So that is what all this attention is about, you are starting with that yield crap again. Take me home please”
Then Eric recalled a scene in Superman and using that for inspiration and flew into the air with her “No, you are not getting away that easily, we have to do this now or I swear to the gods that I will drop you woman. I am sick to death of you always telling me to wait until you are ready”
Well, she thought to herself as she watched the ground retreating from them; this takes 'fear of flying to a whole new level.' “Put me down and I mean now.” she said trying to sound brave as she clutched him. They were a long way up.
Eric hovered just above the tree line and said in a tone that did not broach argument. “Not until we are done. Now where shall I start? Sookie that time I spent in your place living with you when I lost my memory was probably the best time I had in a long, long, long time. I don’t mean just the sex. Not that wasn’t amazing. I mean spending time with you, talking to you and holding you while you slept in my arms.”
She looked at him in confusion, “I loved doing all those things with you to, but I do kind of feel like I took advantage of you. I mean your friends trusted me to look after you while you weren’t in your right mind and bam, I seduce you."
She continued "I felt really bad that I did that. I just was so lonely. My boyfriend had left me, my grandmother had just died, Jason is well, Jason and I don’t really have any friends to talk to about it. Then you came along, so gorgeous and funny and you told me that you cared about me and told me I was pretty” she finished lamely.
Eric pondered this “You can’t force a vampire and as I recall, I was the one seducing you in that shower, not the other way around. You do have to admit that it is kind of funny that you could say no to me time and time again when I was my regular self but couldn’t when I was clingy and needy. Is that how you like your men? I guess that would explain Bill” He said with a laugh, which she echoed tearfully.
She sniffled and drew closer to him, there was not really anywhere for her to go when they were hovering in the air. “Do you think that might have been what the curse was about perhaps; taking away your power and making you feel scared and confused like us mere mortals do?”
He sighed “I don’t know and I doubt I ever shall. I do know however, that I hurt you with my distance after that. I was having a hard time trying to understand what was going on between us; I needed time to think and even catching a glimpse of you made it harder. I could feel your anger and confusion through the bond, but I just couldn’t face you until I reached a decision.”
“What decision is that?” she asked feeling suddenly tense
“I love you and want to be a part of your life no matter what agreements we have make to allow for this and I think that you love me too. Don't you?”
She looked into his face and saw a look of uncertainty she never expected to see there ever, then her feelings of panic came back. “Well, I, um,”
“Do you want me to drop you? Tell me how you feel about me.”
“Okay, I love you too. How could you ever doubt it?”
“Lets start this again, do you love me as I am now, Eric, Sheriff of Area 5, not merely as Eric-the-Wimp: afraid to even have you out of his sight. This does mean that politics will interfere with us sometimes, but in the end we shall make lots of time together time and lots of love in between those times. Also, I shall expect you to give up seeing other Supe and imagine you feel the same, so that means no more tigers, dogs, wolves and especially vampires. I shall at one point like if we could move in together when you are ready; that before or after we get married but that is up to you when you are ready for that step.”
Sookie started crying again “yes, I love you how are Lord High Muckity Muck of the Vampire World, that is why I couldn’t let you remain Eric-the-Wimp as you call him, it wouldn’t have been fair to either one of us. Yes, I know what that means. Yes, I do want us to go steady. But as for the last part; that depends on your answer to my questions.”
She said with an evil smile.
He lowered them back onto to his deck crossed his arms in classic Eric fashion, quirked his eyebrow at her and said “oh what might that be?”
Sookie smiled at him and said “Do you, Eric Northman yield yourself to me?”
He smiled with a little more fang then before and said “I do”
“Then say you mine?”
“I am yours” he said then roared with his fangs fully extended and chased her up the stairs to the bedroom.
Sorry, what happened in the bedroom is between Eric and Sookie.
Hours later, the two rumpled blonds were lounging on his living room floor, her wearing just one of his t-shirts and eating the ribs he prepared. “My god, these are good, where did you get the recipe?”
“Oh a friend sent it to me,” he kissed her and said “I’ll be right back; I have a phone call to make.”
He went to his office and called Bobby.
Bobby was still in the office as he was used to keeping vampire hours. He was looking for cooking classes for Pam; she was jealous that her Master had acquired a skill that she did not possess.
“Hi Bobby, its Eric, I need you to do the following for me: get two dozen red roses and two boxes of chocolates delivered to Sookie’s place for tomorrow. Mark one box for Amelia and the other Octavia. Also a kitten, (he remembered that she said she wanted one) fluffy, white and grey I think, all shots and everything of course and put a bow around its neck. Finally deliver a box of steaks to Sam at Merlottes with a card that reads ‘I think that dogs usually prefer these kinds of steaks.’ “
"Of course Master, I shall get those things done immediately.” A kitten? It really was vacation time when the Master started to act like Bubba.
A couple of months later Sookie stopped in Sam’s office, she was dressed in her usual uniform, but he noticed a new ring on her finger.
“Hey like the new ring.” He said looking at the diamond solitaire with garnets on either side in a white gold setting.
She looked slightly embarrassed but incredibly happy. “Eric asked me to marry him last night and I accepted, I know it is kind of rushing things, but we have decided to wait a year before actually getting married.”
“You plan on moving in with him before then?”
“Oh no, not until we get married., I am not that kind of girl Sam Merlotte” She replied primly.
Sam grinned and wondered if he was actually going to wait the full year or persuade her otherwise.
“What can I do for you tonight Sookie?”
“I was wondering if you would mind if I leave a little early tonight? Eric got us tickets to Dracula on Ice”
“Sure Sookie, go have fun, oh and congratulations” said Sam giving her a peck on the cheek.
Eric walked in, “you ready to leave, Lover? The tickets are for 9 and you still have to change.”
“Relax, let me just go and get my coat.”
“Hello Shifter, I would like to thank you for your help and have to ask you for a favour.”
“A favour, I like the sound of that. What might that be?”
“You have her scheduled to work tomorrow and I would like to take her away this weekend. So could I offer you the services of one of my waitresses for the next three days? It won’t be like before. This was has been briefed to wear the correct uniform and will not call you Master at all.”
“Okay that sounds good, have a nice time watching figure skating; men love to watch that.”
“Hey, if she wants to go; who am I to say no. Just as long as no one else finds out; I would be the laughing stock at the next area meeting.” said the tall vampire.
Jason knocked on the door “hey Sam, oh hey Eric. I was wanting to talk to you, Sookie told me that you make great barbeque and was wondering if you would wanted to come over with Hoyt, Catfish and myself next weekend so we can whip up a batch…. Jason closed the door at the point before Eric could respond to the male bonding suggestion.
Sam laughed and logged onto his computer to write Eric an email:
Vampire, keep in mind that getting married means you have to hang out with your Brother-in-Law, whether you want to or not .
Sam smiled as he picked up the phone "okay your advice worked like a charm."
Who is Sam talking to? Read further and find out.
Some months before the engagement:
Sookie was working the one of the busiest days of the year at Merlottes. 'I hate Superbowl Sundays' she thought as she went to retrieve the mop for the third time that evening when someone when to high five and knocked the pitcher of beer off the table at the same time. Her shift was only half over and she was already covered with beer, sweat and testosterone.
Eric entered the bar, looking like he owned it as usual. He had on his Fangtasia t-shirt with an enamel belt buckle that matched the vampire teeth logo, tight, tight jeans, a leather vest and leather boots. His hair was loose and freshly washed. He looked like a girl's wet dream of what a bad boy is supposed to be.
Sookie's heart skipped a beat. "of all the bars in all the towns of the world, he has to walk into mine" she said softly to herself. She had watched Casablanca the night before; she had a lot of time to herself these days.
"Sorry did you say something Sookie?" asked Eric.
Shaking her head to clear it, she said "no, is there something you need?"
"Yes, I need to talk to the Shifter about scheduling you off for tomorrow night, we have dinner reservations for then."
Eric was asking her on a date? "Dinner? I would like that. What should I wear?"
He seemed confused by the fact that she wasn't fighting his order for a second "wear what you want, the owner is a friend of mine and he requires your talent for that evening to find out which of his human employees are stealing from his wine cellar. He has lost some exceedly rare vintages this way."
Sookie felt deflated that this was only vampire business as usual. "I have to work tomorrow, please ask your friend if Monday works for him instead and ask Pam if she will accompany me instead of you."
Eric's eyes flashed "As you are my.....one of my assets and according to the agreement we made that you would allow me use of your talents at my request. We are going tomorrow as arranged."
"Eric, be that as it may, I have to work as I am scheduled. I cannot just take time off to satisfy your whims. I am sure that your friend will allow me to do this tomorrow instead if you ask him politely and explain my situation. Once this is settled, contact me with the information and ask PAM if she is free to come with me. Until then, stick your assets where the sun doesn't shine, stop being a jerk and let me get back to my job." she said as primly as possible.
"A jerk! You are calling me a jerk" said Eric in soft but powerful voice.
"Yes I am, because you are acting like one. You are disturbing me at my place of employment, kindly leave."
"Very well," he said coldly "I wouldn't want to take you away from your oh so important job" and left.
Sam was sitting at the bar across from a new lady that had just moved into Bon Temps to set up a child psychology practice. Her name was Nicole Patel, but liked to be called Nicky and was a very attractive mix of Indian-Irish descent. She was 5 ft. tall with long dark curly hair with red high lights, pale green eyes, a cafe au lait complexion and a slim but curvy body. "I am such a mutt" she said with a tinkling laugh.
"So am I" answered Sam with a grin. He noticed that she got a dimple on her right cheek when she smiled.
They had been sitting that way for over an hour, to the point that Sam had asked Tara to take over as bartender so that they could speak. She liked dogs (yah!), ice cold martinis, flower print skirts and her guilty pleasure was swiss made chocolates. Jason Stackhouse had asked her to dance at one point, but she politely declined.
They observed when Eric entered the bar "oh wow" she said.
Sam winced; yet another groupie for the undead viking. he said in a disgusted voice "That is Eric, yeah, I know he sure is handsome isn't he?" He honestly wished that Eric wasn't so tall, muscular and handsome.
"No, that isnt it" she shook her head for emphasis, causing her curls to dance around her face in a compelling manner "sure he is handsome, but not my type; I don't like tall men. Besides he is spoken for or desperately wants to be."
"How do you figure?"
She looked into Sam's beautiful blue eyes and felt that she could trust him "I have a secret that I will tell you, but you can't share it with anyone else."
Sam smiled and thought of his own secret "cross my heart and hope to die"
"I am an Empath, you probably already know what that means but it basically is that I have a highly developed sense of the emotions of others and can project my own to influence others, but only do so when it is absolutely necessary. That is why I am so good at my job."
"Oh" said Sam "and this works on vampires?"
"It works on anything that has the capacity to feel emotions."
"So what is wrong with Eric then."
She looked over to where he was now fighting with Sookie. "what I was surprised about what the intensity of the emotions coming from him, pain, confusion, anger, doubt, but the strongest one is love. He is very conflicted and trying not to show that to others. These emotions are directed towards the blond girl he is talking to and this is unique; she seems to feel the same."
"That makes sense" answered Sam, he had already begun to suspect as much himself.
"You have to help them Sam" she said "no matter how you feel about her yourself, she doesn't feel the same. She loves him but doesn't know how to show it any better then he does."
"I should help a vampire get the girl of my dreams? Why?"
She moved her face over closer to his and said "because you are a kind and decent man and are in a position where you can. I would do it myself but I don't know them, you do. My calling in life is to help the walking wounded and that is what they are. Would you like her to remain miserable?" she said guesturing at Sookie, who was heading over to them.
"I guess I could try and talk with him but he is pretty stubborn and she is even worse."
"Hi Sam, sorry about Eric coming in. I hope that he didn't disturb your customers."
Sam bit down a laugh, not only were the regulars not disturbed by Eric's otherworldiness, but they would bet on sighting him whether Sookie or him would start the fight that night and whether he would use the words "make love, bonded, lover, yield or mine' that particular evening.
"It's okay, it is not like you can rescind his invitation or anything. Sookie, I would like you to meet Nicky."
Sookie smiled and said "pleasure to meet you."
Nicky dimpled at her and said "nice to meet you too, you are one lucky girl."
Sookie didn't know what to say to that "why thank you, really is a pleasure to meet you but my boss is a tyrant so I best go back to work" she smiled over her shoulder.
Nicky took in the crowd "it is pretty busy in here, perhaps I should take my leave and stop distracting you."
"Can I call on you?" asked Sam.
Nicky leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, Sam shivered as her hair brushed against his bare arm. "My number is on the back of the bill" she whispered in his ear and took her leave.
Sam and Nicky were making out on his couch in his double wide when there was a knock on the door.
"Damn" muttered Sam "maybe if we ignore it, whoever it is will go away."
Nicky rebuttoned her blouse and tugged her skirt down "come on it might be important"
"Hi Sam, its Eric, are you free?"
They exchanged smiles and then Sam opened the door "you may enter my abode" he said in a dramatic voice and ended it with a bow.
He looked from one to the other "oh, you are on a date, I am sorry to interrupt."
"Eric this is Nicky, Nicky this is Eric. He is Sookie's fiance. I am not sure that you two have officially met."
"Pleasure to meet you" she dimpled "so you are at the six months mark, how is the wedding planning coming?"
He looked sour for a second "all that I am asked these day is for my opinion about flowers, centerpieces, cake, how many courses we should have, what should our colours be etc. Sometimes I really wish vampires actually could turn into bats so I could hide in a cave somewhere away from females waving pictures at me. But now that Pam is a bridesmaid she would probably just find me and still ask me what colour chair covers I want while I was still in my bat form."
Nicky laughed "sounds like your typical wedding, they always say that they are more about the bride then the groom. If you want my advice, just say "yes dear" a lot and make sure that you are on time and dressed appropriately that day."
Liking her Eric smiled back.
"Sam I was told that I need to get people to stand up with me, I don't really want to have to ask Bill to be Bestman, so I was wondering if you would care to fulfill that role."
"Sure I would be honoured to. You don't mind if I bring a date do you?"
"Of course not, we would be honoured to have so lovely a lady attend our wedding."
"Oh so gallant" laughed Nicky "how is it you managed to stay single all these years?'
"Many have tried. Apparently all it took was for me to meet a barmaid and the rest is history."
"By the way, hope you don't mind, but Sookie told me about your love nest incident and I told Nicky"
Sookie when she hung out at Fangtasia preferred to remain in his what formally was his love nest under the bar (where he used to take fang-bangers) and watch movies when he was on 'throne duty'. One day after finishing his shift he noticed that all the female vampires were missing off the floor. After inquiring after them he eventually found them all curled on the oversized bed in there watching 'The Princess Bride' with Sookie on dvd. "Get back to work" he roared. They scattered like pedals on the wind.
"No problem, it was pretty funny."
"So want are you two doing tonight?" asked Sam "Square dancing? Bar hopping?"
"No I have chickens and dumplings in the slow cooker and am on my way to pick up Sookie, we are just having a quiet night in; we certainly see enough of bars at work."
"Just like an old married couple already. What no scrabble?" teased Sam
"We played that last night; I let her win."
"And the night before?"
"I took her to the 24 hour Wal Mart to buy a replacement bench for the end of her bed and then set it up for her."
"What happened to the old one?" asked Sam.
"Let's just say that it was less sturdy then it looked." replied Eric waggling his eyebrows.
Nicky laughed and took Sam's arm, "I don't want to know" she said looking at Sam tenderly, he returned her look.
Something Eric brain cried 'aha' at the sight of their affection obvious affection for each other..
"Sam did I mention that I am setting up a new business venture by any chance?"
"Oh, what would that be."
"it is going to be an all inclusive wedding venue complete with church, hall and hotel. I studied to be a priest and everything. We are going offer Supe, vamp-human weddings and everything other variation of thereof. Here is one of the prototype cards that I ordered." he said holding out a card.
Sam read it. 'Fangtasia Weddings: We make sure that your wedding doesn't bite.' He winced "might want to work on your slogan a little, pal." he said drolly.
"Ah, we will decide on that later. However if you should ever need our services, I would like to cover the cost of flowers and catering for your event. Everything else would be up to you" he said glancing significantly at Nicky.
She blushed.
"Thanks Eric, I shall call you if I should ever need to avail myself of your services." Sam said with a smiled as he closed the door.
Eric gave him a toothy grin and waved goodbye.
"Wow, that one seems to have happiness to spare now." noted Nicky
Sam looked at the card again 'you ever notice that when your friends get happily married they seem to want everyone else to be" with a shake of his head.
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Please note, this is not really meant to sound like the real Eric or Sookie, this is meant to be written from a comedic standpoint. This is one that I began but then took in another direction by writing Better Married then Dead. If the stories seem similar this is reason.
Chapter 1
Merlotte’s was just closing and Sookie was exhausted; there seemed to be more FoTS members showing up everyday and she was sick of hearing their disturbing anti-vamp thoughts. Not to mention Arlene’s frosty glare when one of her vamp friend’s names were mentioned or they decided to visit.
Also she had dropped an entire tray of drinks when a drunken college boy grabbed her rear end; Sam kicked him out immediately. She was looking forward to doing nothing more then going home, having a bath and eating the container of Cheri Garcia that she had been saving.
The Sook was just plain exhausted emotionally, mentally and physically if just one more thing went wrong she was going to scream and that is when Eric walked in.
He was angry; she could tell from their blood bond.
He marched right up to her and demanded “why did you tell Pam to give me the message to go fly a kite?” Sookie sighed, she was so tired of this game that they seem to play; it was not like she wanted to be bonded to him in the first place.
“Eric” she snarled back in a voice worthy of any vampire “sorry about that, she got my message wrong; it was drop dead” and with that she marched out of the bar and left in her car.
He yelled after her “where are you going? We have bonded and have made love; you should be mine”
Sam who was finishing up for the night witnessed the exchange and sighed. He had to admit that he had developed a grudging liking and respect for the ancient Viking even if his being around meant that Sookie was often sad or angry. Then there was the getting shot, staked and beaten up; but that wasn’t actually Eric doing any of that.
“Bye Sookie, have a safe drive home and don’t pick up any strange men running half naked and barefoot down the road”. This earned him a nasty glare from Eric
Against his better judgment he felt it was time for a talk to heart talk about this, besides he had promised he would. So he put a True Blood in the microwave and motioned the glowering vampire over to the bar.
“Eric please have a seat” he said placing the True Blood on the bar in front of him “it is time we had a talk”.
Eric sat down and fumed. Why was this mere slip of a mortal girl causing him such anguish? He wasn’t used to caring about anyone in the first place and didn’t like the fact that her touch made him feel ‘alive’; as if that was possible. Yet here he was acting like according to Pam “a love sick fool” (apparently she got this term from some girly pop song). How can a 1000 year old vampire act this way? He didn’t even like hanging around with humans. In the past until he met her, he only went to Fangtasia, his home, vampire hosted events and area meetings. Now here he was haunting the crappy bar she worked at and even standing outside her house sometimes trying to make sure that no one like was trying to hurt her. Like her own, personal vampire stalker.
The only time that he has not been miserable in the past couple weeks since he got his memory back was when he learned that the bill allowing vampires and humans to marry (which was heavily influenced by him) was passed. Time to put his idea for a new business venture into action.
Speaking of Pam, he knew she was trying to help, but offering to have sex with him while dressed in a flowered dress while her hair was in ponytail on top of her head was hardly helping. Nor was putting all the blond fang-bangers first in line to approach his ‘throne’ either. Had to love his child though; she truly believed that cure all for bad moods was a good screw.
Perhaps he needed a vacation.
Wouldn’t Sookie look lovely in a bikini taking a moonlight stroll along a beach and even better, making love with him in the waves without her bikini?. He squashed that thought flat.
Sam looked at the expression on Eric’s face and rolled his eyes; it was going to be a long night
“Look, I would never want to interfere with…whatever is going on between you and Sookie, but you guys have to work this out, it is bad for my business and bad for her, I can’t have my wait staff mooning around or crying their eyes out all the time”.
“I tried to talk to her about it, but she just runs off or takes up with some disreputable male. I want this resolved to and the quicker the better, Pam has threatened to ban me from my own bar for my rages as of late” shot back the vampire.
Sam leaned over the bar and fixed him with the “I’m listening” expression that bartenders everywhere assume when dealing with drunken patrons. He tried not to snicker out loud about what was being implied about Alcide and Quinn. Both highly respected in the shifter community.
“Have you tried asking her out?”
“I ask her out all the time when I am in need of her abilities.”
Sam felt like groaning “I mean have tried courting her? Asking her out on a date? Doing something that doesn’t involve vampire politics, just you and her together?”
“Is that what she would like me to do?”
“It couldn’t hurt to ask her out on a proper date, Sookie is no fang-banger, she is a lady and needs to know that she is valued and respected before she can really emotionally invest herself. Your technique of telling her that she will yield to you or that you claim ownership of her just leaves her hurt, confused or puts her in a murderous rage.”
“But she is my blood bonded and therefore she is mine, but she resists all the time”.
“How did they court back in the days that you were among the living?”
“The marriages were arranged by our parents, they paid for the bride essentially and sex was to be had with slaves until the wedding night.”
'Wow, that explained a lot', thought Sam “very Conan the Barbarian of you. When were you planning to rape and pillage her?”
“I have never forced a woman in my life” roared Eric. Then looking confused asked “Who is Conan?”
“Whoa, whoa, I didn’t mean anything by it. I am just saying that if you want to get to get to know a lady in these times, you start by asking her out on a date.
“What does one do on a date anyway?”
Sam suddenly felt like he was explaining the birds and the bees to a young boy for a second, rather then conversing with a 1000 year old vampire.
“Well, it can be anything really as long as it is fun and you do it together, going bowling, going to see a movie, a play, going dancing, getting a drink, going to a place like this, stuff like that. Just be nice, relax, enjoy yourself and pay for the girl unless she insists on paying her way.”
“Sookie would like if I asked her to come here?”
“I would start by asking her to a movie; ask her nicely, don’t mention anything about yielding, blood bonding or belonging to anyone”
“How will this help me get Sookie to make love to me again?” I buy her presents all the time; I have taken bullets for her. What more can I do?”
Sam suddenly felt like hitting Eric, but refrained “You get to know her, get her to trust you and then she might want to if you treat her right and with respect.”
“This helps human males have sex? Seems like a long, long hard way just to get sex especially when I can just get it anytime by gesturing to a fang-banger to follow me to my love nest in the bar.”
“That might be part of the problem; she knows that. I would start by saying Sookie, Miss Stackhouse, I am sorry of my behaviour as of late. Can I make it up to you by taking you so see a movie?”
“Her brother Jason doesn’t date like this that I noticed.”
Both Eric and Sam traded a look of disapproval at the mention of Jason Stackhouse; neither were a fan of his.
“Yes well, Jason tends to date the equivalent of fang-bangers and I am sure there are plenty in crossovers in that department.”
“I’ll think about it, I have to go. Thanks for the drink, I shall try to smooth things over so your ‘wait staff’ doesn’t give you anymore trouble.”
Sam watched the tall blond vampire walk out and wondered if his discussion would bring about anything; after all the Viking was just as proud and stubborn as Sookie.
Perhaps that is why they seemed so hard on each other.
Chapter 2
Sookie heard a knock on her door and was surprised to see Eric; she didn’t recall him ever knocking before. More Angry Eric; her night was now complete. She opened the door nevertheless.
“Hi, Eric, I see you didn’t follow my advice in that you are still alive, as far as that goes with you….”
The rest of what she was saying was cut off when he took her in his arms and began to kiss her, he smiled into their kiss when he felt her arms come around him.
He pulled back and said “Sookie, I am sorry for my behaviour as of late, I have been….on edge since Felipe de Castro took over. Perhaps I can take you to see a movie on your next night off to discuss this?”
Sookie as taken aback, Eric was asking her on a date, part of her wanted at tell him to drop dead again while her inner girly girl twirled and squealed. She hesitated for a second. “Sure, there is one that I have been dying to see, I am off on Tuesday.”
Eric brightened visibly “that would be great; I will call you when I am in front of a computer so that we can look up the times for it.”
Chapter 3
That Tuesday Eric pulled up in front of Sookie’s house, he could almost feel the weight of her two roommates, the Witches gazes upon him.
He got out of the car and brought with him the bouquet of roses that Sam had suggested by email that he bring; pale pink ones. Feeling slightly foolish he rang the bell and it was opened by Sookie herself looking lovely in a knee length floaty skirt and tight black top. He himself wore black jeans and a blue sweater. “These are for you”
She thanked him and went to put them in water, then returned to the door.
“I would invite you in but Octavia is making pasta and the entire place smells of garlic.”
“Well imagine that” he replied dryly suspecting that it was no accident, Amelia seemed to accept him in a sense, but Octavia remained suspicious of him.
He helped her into his Corvette and off they drove to the movie theater in Shreveport; Sookie seemed rather nervous about talking to him. Wanting her to relax he tried to hold her hand while driving and was informed he was to keep it on the wheel if he was going to endanger both their lives (just hers technically) by having a lead foot.
They got to the theater, picked up their tickets and Eric insisted on buying her a popcorn and huge drink despite her protests. Then found their seats. He teased her that he should buy her the car in the commercial before opening credits and she threw a piece of popcorn at him.
When the movie started he took her hand. During a scary bit, she let out a little shriek and shrank against him; he had to laugh, she had encountered demons, werewolves, witches and a whole myriad of Supes in real life without flinching and a Hollywood ghost popping out a closet scared her. Not to mention she was sitting in a dark movie theater with a highly dangerous vampire.
Either way he put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. It was nice to hold her while watching the movie; it was something he had rarely ever done or thought about doing with a girl. He loved the way she smelled and enjoyed the feel of her body. It reminded him of the time that he lost his memory and they became so close; she used to call him Honey and caress him as she walked by him. He missed that.
After he took her to dinner at a restaurant that served both Supes and Human, she decided to be spontaneous and order off that menu meant for demons and was horrified when she was served some sort of large purple bugs. Which he laughingly instructed the waiter to take them away and bring her a cheese burger and fries.
Finally he took her a jazz bar on her request, there was a Zydeco band playing that night and she insisted on them dancing, he had honestly never danced to that type of music before but picked it up pretty fast. They really stood out; it wasn’t very often people got saw a 6 ft. 5’ undead vampire and a beautiful blond dancing so well together. They even got some applause and then whistles and hoots when he took her in his arms dipped her low and kissed her on the dance floor. When s slow song came on they just naturally drifted together without either one asking.
At the end of the night, he drove her home and walked her to her porch.
“Eric, thank you, I had a great time. Would you like to come in” she said feeling the lust start to build between them. He gently pulled her against him and began kissing her wordless; she gripped his shoulders and brazenly ran her hands down his shoulder blades until she placed them on his buttocks. He gently eased her away from him and said
“I know that you will think that I am crazy but I don’t think we should make love right away.
She was startled. This was Eric turning down sex? “Who are you and what have your done with Eric?”
“I sense that you are not ready for that yet and so I think we should wait a bit. When is you next day off?"
“I have Sunday off. Would you like to do something then?
He smiled “sounds like a date to me”
Chapter 4
Sam was tending bar when the phone rang, he picked it up and said “Merlottes”
“Hi Sam, it is Eric."
“Hi Eric, what can I do you for?”
Eric kind of paused at this strange expression; perhaps he should have considered other positions as Sheriff before he chose the South.
“I took her on a date and am wondering if you have any suggestions for date two.”
“Ah, did date one go well?”
“She seemed to like it and didn’t cry once the whole night.”
Sam kind of pondered this. What the hell was he talking about? Sookie hardly ever cried.
“Well now that you have taken her to town; why not take her to you place and make her dinner?”
“A vampire….cooking? I haven’t prepared any prepared any food for over 970 years.”
“Well it was just a suggestion, you don’t have to if you don’t want to but girls really like that.”
This really gave Eric pause; he had suddenly an image of himself in an apron with a puffy chef hat on. He didn’t like the image at all.
“Perhaps Pam can cook or I can get it catered.”
“Pam is also a vampire if I am not mistaken.” Replied Sam trying not to grin, he was getting the same image as Eric without even realizing that they were channeling each other. “How hard it is to print out a couple of recipes and make a meal for a gal? There are other spices besides garlic you know.”
Eric groaned silently, he had lives 1000 years to become a personal chef to a mortal woman. He honestly had thought that the gods were looking out for him, until now.
“Okay, I’ll do it; could you email me some recipes that she might like? By the way, what do all these dates lead to?”
Sam pondered on this and then answered “Well, normally you eventually ask her to go steady with you after about say five or six dates, if things are going well about a year later you buy her a diamond ring, plan a wedding, get married, move in together and have kids.”
“Sounds like a lot of work. Why not just ask her to move in right away?.”
Yeah, Sam could just see Sookie’s expression if Eric was to suggested that.
“As I explained, she is a lady and you can never rush them, you have to let her set the pace and understand this; if you break her heart I shall set every Shifter and Were in Shreveport and Bon Temps on your trail with orders to bite you and personally stake you myself when they are done with you. Bye, have a nice evening.” And with that Sam hung up getting the last word for once.
Chapter 5
Eric was in his office at Fangtasia answering some email, when he picked up the phone to call his human assistant. “Hi Bobby, Eric here, I need your help”.
Bobby of course said the prerequisite “yes master, how may I serve you?” in his usual unflappable tone.
“I just emailed you a grocery list and some a list of some cooking supplies I shall need as well. Pots and pans mainly, I think you can buy them in Wal Mart.” He really wasn’t sure where people bought these things; he just knew that Sookie bought hers there as she seemed to buy everything there.
Bobby was mildly surprised by the request, but was quite used to getting odd requests from vampires most closely connected to the bar. Just the other day Thalia asked for a box of baby diapers; the type meant for big, big babies. There were some things about the people that he worked for that he didn’t want to know.
“Should I send them to Miss Stackhouse’s place?” He inquired; he could practically recite her address by heart. Everything seemed to go there these days.
“No, have them delivered to my place, oh and get me a barbeque, one of those large chrome ones with all the side burners on it.”
Bobby set down the phone and placed the orders for delivery; if the Master was hosting a pool party for his fang-bangers, it was hardly his business.
Chapter 6
Sookie dressed causally as was suggested, but she had arranged her hair into loose curls and put on a little makeup for the evening. When up her driveway roared the Corvette she was expecting.
“Sookie, Mr. Dead and Delicious is here” said Amelia who answered the door “what to borrow my silver choker for the evening?”
Sookie had to laugh at her roommate; the witch always seemed to like bugging her Sheriff “you have my permission to bite her if you would like. Be out in a second” she called back.
What she saw when she got out of the washroom was the delicious sight him wearing a tight top and tight jeans that clung to his long legs. He smiled when he felt her lust rippling along the bond. “See something you like?” he asked striking a pose and trying to look innocent at the same time. It just didn’t work.
Shaking her head slightly she asked “so what are we doing tonight?” He held her coat for her and said as causally as possible “well I thought that you might like to come to my place for dinner and perhaps watch a movie with me. I remember that you like to do that on your nights off. There were three stunned women staring at him after he said that statement.
“You got her take out? I mean she can’t obviously eat the same thing as you.” Inquired Amelia.
“Nope I got a new barbeque and have ribs marinating ready to be tossed on there along with corn on the cob and already made biscuits. You do like to eat that stuff right?”
“Um, sure. That sounds really nice.” Sookie said as she was helped into her coat.
Chapter 7
They pulled in front of a large modern Victorian style house in an upscale part of Shreveport. It was large, it was intimidating; it was very Eric.
“Wow”, she exclaimed. Eric waggled his eyebrows and explained “you know about what they say about a man’s house. The larger the house, the larger the bed and I have a huge one.” Leering at her with a fang showing.
The inside was even more impressive, all dark tones and leather furniture and of course the necessary flat screen TV the size of a movie screen.
“Very masculine, you definitely are a bachelor” replied Sookie looking for signs that Pam might live there too, but something told her in the way that the place was laid out that no feminine touch had been on this place except perhaps to dust it. It was in her eyes, very large, very spacious and rather on the dark side for her tastes.
The rest of the rooms reflected this same taste. Expect the kitchen was huge for a vampire’s house with all chrome applicances.
The main bedroom had a California king size bed that had a faux wolf bed spread on it, a fire place with surprise, surprise more fur throw rugs before it. The en-suit bathroom was something else: black marble counter tops, red walls a huge steam shower and a jacuzzi bath tub large enough to host and orgy in. Sookie blushed when she saw his tub.
The second bedroom hosted an office Bill Gates would be proud to own.
The other two bedrooms held a queen size bed for guest use Sookie supposed.
This place is pretty impressive, "you must entertain a lot" (she had visions of Eric cavorting in that huge bed with lots of fang-bangers; not an image she cared for).
"Actually, Except for my maid, gardener and Pam, you are the only other person to see this place. I don't entertain much partially for security about my daytime resting place and also, I like to have a place I can just relax and just be myself."
"So you don't bring dates here?" she clarified.
“No, I sometimes bring Pam here and we hang out together or a bring telepathic barmaids named Sookie here. Now, can I get you a drink while I get your dinner ready?” Inquired Eric “or would you just like to take a shower together again.” liking the slight discomfort he felt coming from her at that suggestion.
“Sure a drink sounds good. Are you actually going to cook?”
“Yes, but first I think we should do this” he lifted her up and set her on the kitchen island, pulled her tight against him and began kissing her. She reacted by putting her arms around him and pulling him closer to deepen their kiss. He lightly ran his hand up her side and cupped her breast and gently tweaking her nipple through her bra. She moaned and strained against him feeling him being to harden in response to her rising arousal. He thrust against her dampening folds and then pulled himself back with effort. She made a noise of protest; it had been too long for her.
“Later Lover, dinner first and dessert afterwards.” Said the smirking Viking as he lifted her off the counter and fixed her a gin and tonic. He then grabbed the ribs from the fridge and led her outside to his deck beside the pool. He just managed to dodge the dishtowel she threw at him.
Sookie was surprised at what a nice deck he had, lots of potted plants, nice patio furniture and the largest chrome barbeque she had ever seen. “Wow, do a lot of sun tanning out here?”
“No, but feel free to use it whenever you are here, it is a damned sight more private then your front lawn.” He countered.
That he offered to let her have the run of his place made her feel all squishy inside. She was really enjoying his renewed interest in her; it was kind of like they were back at her place when he lost her memory. No vampire shit involved, no stupid politics, no one breaking down her door to kill her.
Still watching him cook food on the grill for her made it seem like she was on a date with a regular guy. Not that he was or that she had really ever been on a date with a regular guy.
“Okay ready” he said holding out a plate of ribs, corn on the cob and biscuits out to her.
She just started sobbing.
“Sookie, are you okay, don’t you like ribs? Is there something else I can get you instead” said the startled vampire and he awkwardly scooped her onto his lap. He hated when she cried.
She just clutched him tight to her and sobbed it out “sorry, just think that this is the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me and I feel happy.”
He sighed, not quite understanding but willing to go with it.
“Don’t you understand yet, I would do anything to make you happy and hopefully not crying all the time” he ended on a rueful note.
That made her start to cry again much to his chagrin. He just held her throughout and on inspiration became to kiss her tears away. She responded by meeting his lips with her own.
“Oh no, not that again, not until we have our talk and figure this out. Why are you so scared to talk to me about how you feel about us?”
Sookie was now starting to get annoyed. “So that is what all this attention is about, you are starting with that yield crap again. Take me home please”
Then Eric recalled a scene in Superman and using that for inspiration and flew into the air with her “No, you are not getting away that easily, we have to do this now or I swear to the gods that I will drop you woman. I am sick to death of you always telling me to wait until you are ready”
Well, she thought to herself as she watched the ground retreating from them; this takes 'fear of flying to a whole new level.' “Put me down and I mean now.” she said trying to sound brave as she clutched him. They were a long way up.
Eric hovered just above the tree line and said in a tone that did not broach argument. “Not until we are done. Now where shall I start? Sookie that time I spent in your place living with you when I lost my memory was probably the best time I had in a long, long, long time. I don’t mean just the sex. Not that wasn’t amazing. I mean spending time with you, talking to you and holding you while you slept in my arms.”
She looked at him in confusion, “I loved doing all those things with you to, but I do kind of feel like I took advantage of you. I mean your friends trusted me to look after you while you weren’t in your right mind and bam, I seduce you."
She continued "I felt really bad that I did that. I just was so lonely. My boyfriend had left me, my grandmother had just died, Jason is well, Jason and I don’t really have any friends to talk to about it. Then you came along, so gorgeous and funny and you told me that you cared about me and told me I was pretty” she finished lamely.
Eric pondered this “You can’t force a vampire and as I recall, I was the one seducing you in that shower, not the other way around. You do have to admit that it is kind of funny that you could say no to me time and time again when I was my regular self but couldn’t when I was clingy and needy. Is that how you like your men? I guess that would explain Bill” He said with a laugh, which she echoed tearfully.
She sniffled and drew closer to him, there was not really anywhere for her to go when they were hovering in the air. “Do you think that might have been what the curse was about perhaps; taking away your power and making you feel scared and confused like us mere mortals do?”
He sighed “I don’t know and I doubt I ever shall. I do know however, that I hurt you with my distance after that. I was having a hard time trying to understand what was going on between us; I needed time to think and even catching a glimpse of you made it harder. I could feel your anger and confusion through the bond, but I just couldn’t face you until I reached a decision.”
“What decision is that?” she asked feeling suddenly tense
“I love you and want to be a part of your life no matter what agreements we have make to allow for this and I think that you love me too. Don't you?”
She looked into his face and saw a look of uncertainty she never expected to see there ever, then her feelings of panic came back. “Well, I, um,”
“Do you want me to drop you? Tell me how you feel about me.”
“Okay, I love you too. How could you ever doubt it?”
“Lets start this again, do you love me as I am now, Eric, Sheriff of Area 5, not merely as Eric-the-Wimp: afraid to even have you out of his sight. This does mean that politics will interfere with us sometimes, but in the end we shall make lots of time together time and lots of love in between those times. Also, I shall expect you to give up seeing other Supe and imagine you feel the same, so that means no more tigers, dogs, wolves and especially vampires. I shall at one point like if we could move in together when you are ready; that before or after we get married but that is up to you when you are ready for that step.”
Sookie started crying again “yes, I love you how are Lord High Muckity Muck of the Vampire World, that is why I couldn’t let you remain Eric-the-Wimp as you call him, it wouldn’t have been fair to either one of us. Yes, I know what that means. Yes, I do want us to go steady. But as for the last part; that depends on your answer to my questions.”
She said with an evil smile.
He lowered them back onto to his deck crossed his arms in classic Eric fashion, quirked his eyebrow at her and said “oh what might that be?”
Sookie smiled at him and said “Do you, Eric Northman yield yourself to me?”
He smiled with a little more fang then before and said “I do”
“Then say you mine?”
“I am yours” he said then roared with his fangs fully extended and chased her up the stairs to the bedroom.
Sorry, what happened in the bedroom is between Eric and Sookie.
Hours later, the two rumpled blonds were lounging on his living room floor, her wearing just one of his t-shirts and eating the ribs he prepared. “My god, these are good, where did you get the recipe?”
“Oh a friend sent it to me,” he kissed her and said “I’ll be right back; I have a phone call to make.”
He went to his office and called Bobby.
Bobby was still in the office as he was used to keeping vampire hours. He was looking for cooking classes for Pam; she was jealous that her Master had acquired a skill that she did not possess.
“Hi Bobby, its Eric, I need you to do the following for me: get two dozen red roses and two boxes of chocolates delivered to Sookie’s place for tomorrow. Mark one box for Amelia and the other Octavia. Also a kitten, (he remembered that she said she wanted one) fluffy, white and grey I think, all shots and everything of course and put a bow around its neck. Finally deliver a box of steaks to Sam at Merlottes with a card that reads ‘I think that dogs usually prefer these kinds of steaks.’ “
"Of course Master, I shall get those things done immediately.” A kitten? It really was vacation time when the Master started to act like Bubba.
A couple of months later Sookie stopped in Sam’s office, she was dressed in her usual uniform, but he noticed a new ring on her finger.
“Hey like the new ring.” He said looking at the diamond solitaire with garnets on either side in a white gold setting.
She looked slightly embarrassed but incredibly happy. “Eric asked me to marry him last night and I accepted, I know it is kind of rushing things, but we have decided to wait a year before actually getting married.”
“You plan on moving in with him before then?”
“Oh no, not until we get married., I am not that kind of girl Sam Merlotte” She replied primly.
Sam grinned and wondered if he was actually going to wait the full year or persuade her otherwise.
“What can I do for you tonight Sookie?”
“I was wondering if you would mind if I leave a little early tonight? Eric got us tickets to Dracula on Ice”
“Sure Sookie, go have fun, oh and congratulations” said Sam giving her a peck on the cheek.
Eric walked in, “you ready to leave, Lover? The tickets are for 9 and you still have to change.”
“Relax, let me just go and get my coat.”
“Hello Shifter, I would like to thank you for your help and have to ask you for a favour.”
“A favour, I like the sound of that. What might that be?”
“You have her scheduled to work tomorrow and I would like to take her away this weekend. So could I offer you the services of one of my waitresses for the next three days? It won’t be like before. This was has been briefed to wear the correct uniform and will not call you Master at all.”
“Okay that sounds good, have a nice time watching figure skating; men love to watch that.”
“Hey, if she wants to go; who am I to say no. Just as long as no one else finds out; I would be the laughing stock at the next area meeting.” said the tall vampire.
Jason knocked on the door “hey Sam, oh hey Eric. I was wanting to talk to you, Sookie told me that you make great barbeque and was wondering if you would wanted to come over with Hoyt, Catfish and myself next weekend so we can whip up a batch…. Jason closed the door at the point before Eric could respond to the male bonding suggestion.
Sam laughed and logged onto his computer to write Eric an email:
Vampire, keep in mind that getting married means you have to hang out with your Brother-in-Law, whether you want to or not .
Sam smiled as he picked up the phone "okay your advice worked like a charm."
Who is Sam talking to? Read further and find out.
Chapter 8
Sookie was working the one of the busiest days of the year at Merlottes. 'I hate Superbowl Sundays' she thought as she went to retrieve the mop for the third time that evening when someone when to high five and knocked the pitcher of beer off the table at the same time. Her shift was only half over and she was already covered with beer, sweat and testosterone.
Eric entered the bar, looking like he owned it as usual. He had on his Fangtasia t-shirt with an enamel belt buckle that matched the vampire teeth logo, tight, tight jeans, a leather vest and leather boots. His hair was loose and freshly washed. He looked like a girl's wet dream of what a bad boy is supposed to be.
Sookie's heart skipped a beat. "of all the bars in all the towns of the world, he has to walk into mine" she said softly to herself. She had watched Casablanca the night before; she had a lot of time to herself these days.
"Sorry did you say something Sookie?" asked Eric.
Shaking her head to clear it, she said "no, is there something you need?"
"Yes, I need to talk to the Shifter about scheduling you off for tomorrow night, we have dinner reservations for then."
Eric was asking her on a date? "Dinner? I would like that. What should I wear?"
He seemed confused by the fact that she wasn't fighting his order for a second "wear what you want, the owner is a friend of mine and he requires your talent for that evening to find out which of his human employees are stealing from his wine cellar. He has lost some exceedly rare vintages this way."
Sookie felt deflated that this was only vampire business as usual. "I have to work tomorrow, please ask your friend if Monday works for him instead and ask Pam if she will accompany me instead of you."
Eric's eyes flashed "As you are my.....one of my assets and according to the agreement we made that you would allow me use of your talents at my request. We are going tomorrow as arranged."
"Eric, be that as it may, I have to work as I am scheduled. I cannot just take time off to satisfy your whims. I am sure that your friend will allow me to do this tomorrow instead if you ask him politely and explain my situation. Once this is settled, contact me with the information and ask PAM if she is free to come with me. Until then, stick your assets where the sun doesn't shine, stop being a jerk and let me get back to my job." she said as primly as possible.
"A jerk! You are calling me a jerk" said Eric in soft but powerful voice.
"Yes I am, because you are acting like one. You are disturbing me at my place of employment, kindly leave."
"Very well," he said coldly "I wouldn't want to take you away from your oh so important job" and left.
Sam was sitting at the bar across from a new lady that had just moved into Bon Temps to set up a child psychology practice. Her name was Nicole Patel, but liked to be called Nicky and was a very attractive mix of Indian-Irish descent. She was 5 ft. tall with long dark curly hair with red high lights, pale green eyes, a cafe au lait complexion and a slim but curvy body. "I am such a mutt" she said with a tinkling laugh.
"So am I" answered Sam with a grin. He noticed that she got a dimple on her right cheek when she smiled.
They had been sitting that way for over an hour, to the point that Sam had asked Tara to take over as bartender so that they could speak. She liked dogs (yah!), ice cold martinis, flower print skirts and her guilty pleasure was swiss made chocolates. Jason Stackhouse had asked her to dance at one point, but she politely declined.
They observed when Eric entered the bar "oh wow" she said.
Sam winced; yet another groupie for the undead viking. he said in a disgusted voice "That is Eric, yeah, I know he sure is handsome isn't he?" He honestly wished that Eric wasn't so tall, muscular and handsome.
"No, that isnt it" she shook her head for emphasis, causing her curls to dance around her face in a compelling manner "sure he is handsome, but not my type; I don't like tall men. Besides he is spoken for or desperately wants to be."
"How do you figure?"
She looked into Sam's beautiful blue eyes and felt that she could trust him "I have a secret that I will tell you, but you can't share it with anyone else."
Sam smiled and thought of his own secret "cross my heart and hope to die"
"I am an Empath, you probably already know what that means but it basically is that I have a highly developed sense of the emotions of others and can project my own to influence others, but only do so when it is absolutely necessary. That is why I am so good at my job."
"Oh" said Sam "and this works on vampires?"
"It works on anything that has the capacity to feel emotions."
"So what is wrong with Eric then."
She looked over to where he was now fighting with Sookie. "what I was surprised about what the intensity of the emotions coming from him, pain, confusion, anger, doubt, but the strongest one is love. He is very conflicted and trying not to show that to others. These emotions are directed towards the blond girl he is talking to and this is unique; she seems to feel the same."
"That makes sense" answered Sam, he had already begun to suspect as much himself.
"You have to help them Sam" she said "no matter how you feel about her yourself, she doesn't feel the same. She loves him but doesn't know how to show it any better then he does."
"I should help a vampire get the girl of my dreams? Why?"
She moved her face over closer to his and said "because you are a kind and decent man and are in a position where you can. I would do it myself but I don't know them, you do. My calling in life is to help the walking wounded and that is what they are. Would you like her to remain miserable?" she said guesturing at Sookie, who was heading over to them.
"I guess I could try and talk with him but he is pretty stubborn and she is even worse."
"Hi Sam, sorry about Eric coming in. I hope that he didn't disturb your customers."
Sam bit down a laugh, not only were the regulars not disturbed by Eric's otherworldiness, but they would bet on sighting him whether Sookie or him would start the fight that night and whether he would use the words "make love, bonded, lover, yield or mine' that particular evening.
"It's okay, it is not like you can rescind his invitation or anything. Sookie, I would like you to meet Nicky."
Sookie smiled and said "pleasure to meet you."
Nicky dimpled at her and said "nice to meet you too, you are one lucky girl."
Sookie didn't know what to say to that "why thank you, really is a pleasure to meet you but my boss is a tyrant so I best go back to work" she smiled over her shoulder.
Nicky took in the crowd "it is pretty busy in here, perhaps I should take my leave and stop distracting you."
"Can I call on you?" asked Sam.
Nicky leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, Sam shivered as her hair brushed against his bare arm. "My number is on the back of the bill" she whispered in his ear and took her leave.
Chapter 9
Sam and Nicky were making out on his couch in his double wide when there was a knock on the door.
"Damn" muttered Sam "maybe if we ignore it, whoever it is will go away."
Nicky rebuttoned her blouse and tugged her skirt down "come on it might be important"
"Hi Sam, its Eric, are you free?"
They exchanged smiles and then Sam opened the door "you may enter my abode" he said in a dramatic voice and ended it with a bow.
He looked from one to the other "oh, you are on a date, I am sorry to interrupt."
"Eric this is Nicky, Nicky this is Eric. He is Sookie's fiance. I am not sure that you two have officially met."
"Pleasure to meet you" she dimpled "so you are at the six months mark, how is the wedding planning coming?"
He looked sour for a second "all that I am asked these day is for my opinion about flowers, centerpieces, cake, how many courses we should have, what should our colours be etc. Sometimes I really wish vampires actually could turn into bats so I could hide in a cave somewhere away from females waving pictures at me. But now that Pam is a bridesmaid she would probably just find me and still ask me what colour chair covers I want while I was still in my bat form."
Nicky laughed "sounds like your typical wedding, they always say that they are more about the bride then the groom. If you want my advice, just say "yes dear" a lot and make sure that you are on time and dressed appropriately that day."
Liking her Eric smiled back.
"Sam I was told that I need to get people to stand up with me, I don't really want to have to ask Bill to be Bestman, so I was wondering if you would care to fulfill that role."
"Sure I would be honoured to. You don't mind if I bring a date do you?"
"Of course not, we would be honoured to have so lovely a lady attend our wedding."
"Oh so gallant" laughed Nicky "how is it you managed to stay single all these years?'
"Many have tried. Apparently all it took was for me to meet a barmaid and the rest is history."
"By the way, hope you don't mind, but Sookie told me about your love nest incident and I told Nicky"
Sookie when she hung out at Fangtasia preferred to remain in his what formally was his love nest under the bar (where he used to take fang-bangers) and watch movies when he was on 'throne duty'. One day after finishing his shift he noticed that all the female vampires were missing off the floor. After inquiring after them he eventually found them all curled on the oversized bed in there watching 'The Princess Bride' with Sookie on dvd. "Get back to work" he roared. They scattered like pedals on the wind.
"No problem, it was pretty funny."
"So want are you two doing tonight?" asked Sam "Square dancing? Bar hopping?"
"No I have chickens and dumplings in the slow cooker and am on my way to pick up Sookie, we are just having a quiet night in; we certainly see enough of bars at work."
"Just like an old married couple already. What no scrabble?" teased Sam
"We played that last night; I let her win."
"And the night before?"
"I took her to the 24 hour Wal Mart to buy a replacement bench for the end of her bed and then set it up for her."
"What happened to the old one?" asked Sam.
"Let's just say that it was less sturdy then it looked." replied Eric waggling his eyebrows.
Nicky laughed and took Sam's arm, "I don't want to know" she said looking at Sam tenderly, he returned her look.
Something Eric brain cried 'aha' at the sight of their affection obvious affection for each other..
"Sam did I mention that I am setting up a new business venture by any chance?"
"Oh, what would that be."
"it is going to be an all inclusive wedding venue complete with church, hall and hotel. I studied to be a priest and everything. We are going offer Supe, vamp-human weddings and everything other variation of thereof. Here is one of the prototype cards that I ordered." he said holding out a card.
Sam read it. 'Fangtasia Weddings: We make sure that your wedding doesn't bite.' He winced "might want to work on your slogan a little, pal." he said drolly.
"Ah, we will decide on that later. However if you should ever need our services, I would like to cover the cost of flowers and catering for your event. Everything else would be up to you" he said glancing significantly at Nicky.
She blushed.
"Thanks Eric, I shall call you if I should ever need to avail myself of your services." Sam said with a smiled as he closed the door.
Eric gave him a toothy grin and waved goodbye.
"Wow, that one seems to have happiness to spare now." noted Nicky
Sam looked at the card again 'you ever notice that when your friends get happily married they seem to want everyone else to be" with a shake of his head.
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pellia |
Latest page update: made by pellia
, Jun 12 2009, 12:15 AM EDT
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Keyword tags:
Eric Sookie Sam Merlottes
More Info: links to this page
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | ||
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| arentusweet | Dear Sam Advice | 4 | May 7 2009, 3:58 AM EDT by Pam_in_pastels | ||
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Thread started: Feb 3 2009, 12:47 PM EST
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Oh this was to funny, I love it.
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| Yarvarni | Dear Sam | 1 | Feb 22 2009, 8:36 PM EST by scookie | ||
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Thread started: Feb 8 2009, 2:32 PM EST
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Hilarious!
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| ObsidianS | Dear Sam | 0 | Feb 6 2009, 1:38 PM EST by ObsidianS | ||
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Thread started: Feb 6 2009, 1:38 PM EST
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Here is my new story if anyone cares to read it. It was posted before now, but was just linked on the page last night.
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