Chapter 110 rated R

Bill drove us back to Bon Temps after an exhausting night, meeting with Eric at Fangtasia. Eric said he would talk to the King and see what, if anything we might do about my being attacked by Niall. Since I was also a pack friend to the weres, they might have to be brought in as well.

I just wanted to be home with Bill, to hide in his magnificence, and I was also thinking we deserved some “us” time. I had worn tight fitting jeans and a low v-neck sleeveless sweater to see Eric—I wanted to remind him of my femininity without being too sexy, sort of “I Am Vampire Hear Me Roar!” It seemed to have worked; Eric took my turning a lot calmer than either Bill or I expected. Although I was pretty sure Eric had more to say to me about it all. But now I wanted to be out of my clothes and comfortable at home with my love.

When we got back to Bill’s house, I closed the door behind us and pulled off my sweater, standing in front of Bill in my emerald lace bra and my low slung jeans. I stood completely still while Bill’s eyes slowly traveled up and down my body, which was softly glowing for him. To return the favor, he shrugged out of his shirt and let me study his broad shoulders and muscled arms, hard from years of working the land before the war. His hair was ruffled up from removing his shirt and I stepped close to smooth it off his sculpted brow. I looked into his deeper than brown eyes, large and liquid with love. He did that thing that had first attracted me to him: his eyes went to my mouth and his lips parted ever so slightly, then his eyes returned to mine—this was a look guaranteed to make me want him, and now it seemed equally guaranteed to run out my fangs.

I leaned up to place my mouth just barely on his—his lips were soft and cool and he moved to circle me in his arms. But I held his wrists gently and insistently against his thighs, and began quietly and slowly exploring his face with my lips. Bill sighed and tipped his face down to me even more, so I could cover his closed eyes with the softest of kisses. I trailed my lips down to his jaw line, nibbling on his beard stubble before leaning closer to exhale in his ear. He shivered slightly and his captured arms jumped to break my grasp—but I held him still.

I pulled back just enough to touch nose tip to nose tip, rubbing mine along either side of his, pressing my breasts against him. Bill sighed again and swayed his entire length against me. I released him then, and stepped back just far enough to unfasten my jeans; I shimmied my hips just a bit, inviting Bill to push off my jeans. He placed his long fingers around my waist and ever so slowly slid them downward, pushing the denim past my satin panties that matched my deep green bra. I could feel Bill’s appreciation for the contrast between my newly paling skin and these underthings he’d never seen (I loved shopping at my friend Tara’s clothing boutique—she often “saved” things for me until they went on sale so I could afford them. I wondered very briefly how I was going to shop without a paycheck, but the sound of Bill’s zipper sliding down snapped me back in the moment.). Bill waggled his hips a tiny bit, in imitation of me, and I would have grinned at him, but his expression was so earnest that I simply mimicked him instead, placing my hands around his waist and sliding them down to push his pants past his knees. Still holding each other’s waists, we stepped out of our pants and into each other’s arms.

Bill bent down to brush his mouth along my nose and lips and chin, while his hands slipped up my rib cage, sending shivers all over me. He eased his fingers along the underside of my breasts, delicately scratching the lace of my bra. He inserted his fingers in between that lace and me, scraping his nails ever so gently across my attentive nipples. Bill had taught me all about good sex when I was human, and I had done a lot of heavy breathing as I was learning. Panting came so naturally to me, I began to do that even though I no longer needed to breathe. Bill had always seemed to rise to that sound, and he was doing so now. Again, I copied his movements to skim my fingertips up his lean torso, and scratch my nails across his nipples—the outside observer in me noticed he was panting a bit as well.

Bill left off caressing my breasts to move his hands down my belly and again I mirrored his motions. One of his hands slid between my legs to rub me through the satin, and I moved a hand down to explore the silk of his briefs—Bill loved old-fashioned fabrics—and cupped all his naughty bits in my palm, which fast began to fill to overflowing. Even more slowly, if it was possible, Bill’s tongue entered my ear, and I could feel my panties dampen between me and Bill’s slowly massaging fingers, one of which proceeded to wiggle under the leg opening and slip into me. I made a teensy moan against Bill’s collar bone and started licking him. I wiggled my own hand under the elastic of Bill’s silk and grasped his hardness tight. Now it was Bill’s turn to moan.

Placing both hands on my hips, he walked me backwards until I bumped into the door, but he kept coming until I was pressed between him and the wood. He snapped my panties down around my knees while I returned the favor, and we both stepped out again in perfect synch. With the vampire strength that still amazed me, Bill moved his hands down my thighs to behind my knees and lifted my legs up and around his waist, which I did as naturally as if I’d been doing it for my whole life. He raised me up and onto his steel-hard cock, and that made us both moan. Bill had me smashed hard up against the door now, but he was stroking in and out very slowly, mostly in, closer and harder in, deeper in. A low rumbling growl was building up in both of us.

I was beginning to feel streamers of heat cascade over my entire body as Bill pressed harder and harder against me, rolling and bumping me just enough to bring me right to the edge of coming. His mouth moved to my neck and I mirrored him, opening my lips on his artery. We bit and drank at precisely the same moment. We came together at the same moment. And we lifted bloody lips to each other at the same moment and said, “I love you.”

Bill cleaned my mouth and neck and I cleaned his. I slowly lowered my legs, not sure if my knees were going to hold me, but they did, and arms entwined, we walked through the big house to Bill’s bed.

I would have been content to stay there until dawn sent us to our sleeping place, just looking at him and memorizing him all over again, but my serious vampire had something on his mind. I could feel his love, and underneath, disquietude.

I stroked my fingers slowly up and down Bill’s arms, and softly said, “What is it?”

Bill hugged me close and said, “It seems to be my turn to ask a question I don’t want the answer to.” I waited, watching him; I was in no rush to dispel our tender mood.

Bill buried his face in my hair where it spilled across the pillow—he was wild for my hair, loving to touch it, brush it, kiss it. “Sookie, I know you and Eric had sex. I know you share a blood bond… “

I interrupted, “Because of Andre; I didn’t want to share a blood bond with Andre in service to Sophie-Anne, and Eric saved me that horror by binding me to him instead.”

Bill only nodded. “But I have noticed before that you share something more; it was evident tonight between you. He can’t stay angry with you, and you like getting under his skin. Yet he tolerates it.”

“Oh Bill, you know how I like to tease…” I gave Bill a small smile, letting it go a bit lusty, “I love teasing you. I love how you are learning to tease me.”

Bill’s answering smile didn’t reach as far his eyes, and he continued earnestly. “Darling, I must know: is there more between you and Eric. Are you… did you love him?”

The human me would have lashed out at Bill for asking something that was none of his business, but now I suspected everything about me was his business—he could feel my emotions almost as clearly as my spoken words. Still, I let him feel my irritation at his asking before I said, “I’m not sure. Perhaps… a little. I think the better question is did Eric love me.”

Bill’s eyes widened in surprise. “Yup, “I said, “shocking, huh? But during the time he was ensorcelled by the witches, I was hiding him. He had no memories of who he was and he, well… he told me he’d give up everything to be with me. He said he would honor me above all things.” I let that thought spin out between us for a few long moments.

Bill studied my face for some sign that I was making fun, but he could feel my seriousness. He scowled, “I am finding this hard to believe.”

“You?” I scoffed. “I can’t believe it still. But the night Filipe De Castro took over Louisiana, Eric’s memory came back. He told me those few lost days were among the happiest of his existence.”

As I revealed Eric’s feelings to Bill, I saw that vampire possessiveness almost turning Bill green. His eyes, normally deep and open to me, were shallow and closed off. I could feel his hurt, but he HAD asked.

Moving with careful slowness, I took his face between my hands. If I had to tell Bill how much I loved him every day for the rest of time, I knew I would: he was that important to me.

“Honey,” I explained, “before you, I had never been in love (I had actually told Bill this fact when I had known him less than a week). I didn’t know what being in love was. But you taught me. And when I thought we would never be together again, I was free to search for all the feelings you awakened in me. A couple of times, I came close to finding them.” Bill’s eyes were still closed off, but I was packing truth into all the emotions I was sending toward him. “I never found what I had with you in anyone else. Once Eric came to himself, he wasn’t going to stay with me; you know that as well as I do. Once Quinn (Bill jumped at the mention of my ex-weretiger lover) showed me that I would never come first in his life, I knew there was no future with him. Alcide might have wanted me, but there was too much baggage there for me to feel more than desire, and I knew better than to act on that desire (Bill’s eyes flashed fury so quickly I wasn’t sure I’d seen it). And Sam might have loved me, once (I still hadn’t told Bill about Sam), but my own feelings were based in just friendship and trust.”

Like a dog on a ham hock, Bill was going to worry this idea down to the marrow: “When I saw you kissing him at the bar, you seemed to be enjoying it.”

“Oh yeah, I liked it all right.” Again, that flash in the depth of Bill’s eyes. “But I wasn’t with you anymore. It was my prerogative to kiss anyone I wanted to—and it was a nice kiss—Sam is warm and that was real different for me back then.” Bill looked positively sullen.

I kissed Bill then. I kissed him with my heart and soul and mind and body; I put everything I knew and a few things I didn’t into that kiss, and despite himself, Bill responded with ardor. I drew back just a tiny bit and whispered, “Sam never kissed me like that. No one has ever kissed me like that. Oh Bill, don’t you see? You taught me to kiss and love and make love the way you wanted to be kissed and loved. You made me for YOU. And in doing that, you made it impossible for me to be satisfied by anyone else.”

Bill’s eyes opened to me then, and I poured my gaze into them, willing him to feel all my love. He was radiantly pale; I had never seen anything so beautiful.

Bill’s voice came from far away, “You are mine?”

“Yes, Bill, just like you’ve always said.”