Chapter 104 rated R

Bill’s gorgeous mouth was clamped on the neck of his victim. She was thin and pale, with oily hair. She had been feeling rebellious toward her boyfriend, so she had gone out alone for a walk. It would be a walk to remember. Although I guess she wasn’t actually going to be able to remember much of it.

With my newly-acquired vampire hearing, I could pick up on Bill drawing in the blood and swallowing—it sounded a little like he was sucking on a margarita lime—can you tell I used to be a barmaid? I stepped right up close and studied his perfect line of attack; he’d somehow gotten the girl to bend her neck to such an angle that he barely had to bow his head to her. I reached in with one finger and traced his lips where they met her neck in complete, blood-tight suction.

Bill’s eyes flew open and sought mine—I could see in them the surprise that I had done such a thing. Now that he could sense my innermost feelings—after all, he’d had all my blood—he had known that I was not looking forward to this experience. When I was human, I had never watched Bill feed. I didn’t want to. I had even had the gumption once to ask him to not feed on anyone I knew or might interact with at Merlotte’s and bless his heart, he’d agreed. I was learning that he had made a lot of concessions to me, simply because he loved me.

I had only recently realized that Bill Compton, war hero (that’s the Civil War), computer geek, male model gorgeous, accomplished business man, and vampire, had chosen me out of everyone he’d met in his 170+ years on this planet to be his soulmate. I know some people would freak out, but it made me feel like a goddess. Bill had been my first lover—he had taught me how to kiss, how to please him and how to enjoy being pleased—and boy did he ever please me! He had given me his virginity by making me a vampire, something he had never done before. (I had gathered from the bits and pieces he’d told me that his own making hadn’t been fun. And apparently his maker was a complete and total bitch—she certainly tried to kill me when we’d only just met. But all that was a story for another time.) I had given Bill my virginity and he had given me eternal life.

Bill was staring at me questioningly, but continued to drink. I leaned over top of his victim and kissed him on the forehead. I’m not sure I was enjoying this, but I wanted him to know it wasn’t nearly as icky as I thought it would be. I mean, Bill bit me all the time, and had bitten me for years, and I had always really—really—liked it. But this was different: calm, tidy, to normal hearing noiseless, almost peaceful. I was looking forward to learning more about glamour and how to use it to make my own victims forget my using them. I understood that, as a new vamp, I needed their blood, and Bill was helping me learn that my aim was to make that as pleasant for them as possible.

Thinking about the pleasure of biting reminded me that we had left my house, where we had awakened, without getting the shower I asked for. I had always loved taking showers and Bill had a huge two-person shower in his family home out the parish road. I had spent some happy times in that shower already, and I was looking forward to doing so again more than I can say. It was beginning to dawn on me—now I just need to stop here and say that Bill had once tried to explain to me that vampires loved puns; his boss Eric’s bar was named Fangtasia, for silly’s sake! But I was discovering a new found interest in puns myself, and they sprung to mind without even trying. I’d have to ask Bill about this later… Anyway, it WAS beginning to dawn on me why Bill had loved his hot showers and baths: vampires are by nature cool. With no heartbeat or metabolism, at least not in the human sense, we made no body heat. Although Bill and I could generate a lot of heat on our own…

Thinking about showering with Bill made me impatient to get home and I did something I never should have done. I stepped right up against Bill, pulled him off his victim, tearing her neck a little in the process, and dipped my mouth down to taste her for myself.

I felt, rather than heard, Bill’s astonished hiss and then that hiss became a very dangerous sound indeed.

I lifted my head to look at Bill and his entire body was bristled like a rabid dog. The look on his face was the purest form of ice-cold anger and his mouth was clamped into a line of steel. His chest was heaving and his fists were balled up to strike, and rage rolled off him like a hurricane. The force of his mind hit me so hard I stumbled back.

I had seen Bill angry before; I had seen him kill and it had not been pretty. And at times he certainly had been angry with me. But this was different. This was dangerous. I knew that new vampires were stronger than humans, but not strong compared to older vamps. I knew that Bill could kill me. And I knew he was considering it. I made myself as small as I could and thought at him with all the clarity I could summon: Bill! It’s me! It’s your Sookie! Bill, please, I am so sorry. I was stupid. I was jealous and I wanted your attention. I’ll never do that again. I promise. Bill? Forgive me, honey, please?

As he took in my abject apology, I saw his body relax and soften, and he sighed in an exasperated way. He shook his head, and turned to the poor girl who’d been suspended in his glamour all this time. He stared at her intently for a few seconds and she suddenly saw him, squeaked, and walked away fast.

Bill stepped up to me until his muscled chest was pressing my bountiful breasts, but I wasn’t turned on by that right now.

Bill held my face between his cool hands and kissed me with tenderness and soul-shattering depth. It wasn’t sexy so much as “I love you forever,” and I got the message loud and clear. Bill looked in my eyes, holding my gaze until I had to blink.

Bill whispered, “Sookie? Don’t ever do that again.”

I shook my head silently.

“Sookie, I am serious. Interrupting a feeding vampire is asking for trouble. I know you and I won’t harm you, but any other vampire would hurt you badly or kill you, simply because you acted like an ignorant child.”

I flinched at being called that and my eyes welled with tears.

“My darling,” Bill spoke with heart-breaking tenderness. “You are a vampire now. There are customs and laws you do not know. I will teach you, but you must be careful. Your impulsiveness put you in the hospital many times when you were human”—here he paused and looked deep in my eyes—he could see rebellious thoughts: that he might have contributed just a bit to my being there a few times—bubbling up, and he wanted to be sure I heard what he said.

“Sookie,” he said with great quietude, “one of the things that made me love you is your immense vitality. You have always been more alive than I ever was when I was human. You grab life and gobble it down in great big gulps. I have never known anyone with your spirit, although I saw some of that in your grandmother.”

The thought of Gran made me hold very still.

Bill continued in his soft, dark voice, “There is a part of me that has always wondered that you could love me. I am not… I have never… it has been a long, long while since I ran and laughed and had ‘a good time.’

“Maybe being a vampire has suited me better than I might have realized; maybe being alone comes more naturally to me.

“Once I met you, from that very first night at Merlotte’s, I missed being human. I thought if I was human, you might want to spend time with me. This idea came as a shock to me. And then, you did want to spend time with me. You accepted who I was and you loved who I was. For the first time in a very long time, I believed I was worth loving as long as you loved me.

“Then when you found out about… what I had to do… and I thought I had lost your love, I was filled with despair. I could understand why some of us chose to meet the sun.”

Hearing this, I buried my face in Bill’s chest, tears springing to my eyes. He put his long, white fingers under my chin, making me look at him. He wanted to make sure I was listening, but I knew if I lived to be a thousand, I would never forget what he was saying.

“After a while, I thought if I was patient, you might turn to me again—maybe not in exactly the same way—but at least not with anger or hate. Sometimes, I was sure I could feel your love in our blood bond, and I let myself hope.

“When I found you in the cemetery, when you accepted my comfort, I felt so… large. I felt like I could do anything. I wanted to swim in you and never surface. And when you told me you had never stopped loving me, I wanted to slip inside your gorgeous skin and wear you like the warmest sweater on the coldest day. I wanted to drink you. I wanted to fuck you until you fainted or I fainted or we both fainted.

“You asked me to turn you and I have never been more frightened of anything, ever. I wasn’t sure I knew how and I couldn’t stand the idea that I might harm you. But I wanted you with me forever. I wanted your laughter. I wanted your heavenly taste. I wanted to drown in your golden hair.

“And now you are with me. I am the luckiest of god’s creatures. I love you more than music, or knowledge, or blood, or life. You are my sunlight.”

“Oh Bill,” I was overwhelmed by him.

“Sweetheart, I can’t lose you again. You must listen to me and pay attention. You must be more careful.”

“I will, Bill, but…”

“’But,’ Sookie? But?”

I swallowed. “No buts. I’ll behave.”

Bill buried his fingers in my hair, gently pulling back my face to his kiss. His soul was in that kiss and I inhaled his fabulous scent and ran my hands up and down his fabulous back and dug my fingers in his fabulous butt. Bill drew back and said, “We never got that shower.”

“Bill!” I smiled with happiness. “I was just thinking that! The thought of being with you under all that hot water was what made me misbehave!”

My vampire actually grinned at me—something he had only done a couple of times—and whispered, “I know.”

“You!” I made as if to smack him and he caught my wrist and twirled me around to sweep me up in his arms. “Let me take you home, “ said my vampire. “I can get us there fast.”

I leaned my head against his. “Mmmm.” And then I thought of something.

“Bill? I want to be home with you in the worst way. But will you show me something first?”

“Darling, “Bill said in his low, husky voice, “There are so many things I want to show you.” And he put my hand on him to show me something large. And getting larger.

“Oh Bill, not that” —his eyebrows raised in surprise—“I mean, yes that, but first, will you show me how you go so fast? I’ve wanted to try that for the longest time.”

A rumble of laughter vibrated Bill’s chest against me and he set me down. His eyes were shining with anticipation; I think he was enjoying being my teacher. He looked around him and said, “We are going to need more room.”

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