Chapter 102 rated R

The next night, Bill took me hunting.

I’d found a dress in his closet—appropriately for my virgin feeding, it was white eyelet with a short, girly skirt that swirled around my legs—and in the top drawer of the dresser, a pair of white lace panties. He had thrown out none of my things, exactly like he knew I would return; damn him for being so right. I giggled at the thought of damning a vampire and pulled the dress over my head. I was happy as I ran downstairs, eager for my first lesson.

We walked toward town, holding hands. I never knew the night could smell so good. It was warm and moist and ripe and… waiting. Just ahead, I heard footsteps and tightened my fingers around Bill’s. “So soon?” I breathed. Bill replied, “Let’s see,” and swept me forward with that crazy invisible vampire speed. I really couldn’t wait to try that for myself.

We slowed down to approach a man, practically a boy, although he might have been Jason’s age. He looked young and scared at our appearance. From feet away, I could smell on him the girl he’d just been with. I was glad I didn’t know him.

Bill spoke to me softly, underneath the boy’s hearing. “This will be like using your telepathy; you should be a natural at this. Tell him what you want and your glamour will do the rest.”

“Hey,” I spoke soothingly to the boy. “Hey,” he said back, his eyes flicking away from my face, but I reached out to hold his wrist and his eyes flew back to mine, startled. (I had forgotten I would feel cool to him; he felt wonderfully warm to me.)

My mind slid into his head effortlessly and found his recent memories of being with the girl he was falling in love with. She was plain and soft, but he obviously liked her a lot. I played back to him his loving her body, the nice way she felt to him—I expected to be shocked by the ick factor, but instead, I felt excited, like I could feel his love and his passion for this shy, passive girl. As his memories of making love to her streamed through his mind, he became utterly still. I need to see your neck, I thought at him, and to my surprise and pleasure, he pulled his shirt collar aside and raised his chin. I could see the vein pulsing right under his skin. As if from very far away, I heard Bill hiss in anticipation, and felt him in my head, saying, “Drink, Sookie. Do it now.”

I stepped up to the boy and without holding him, grabbed his jugular in my avid mouth; my fangs ran out through his skin and I drew on him. My mouth flooded with his blood. He tasted a bit like drinking hot liquid spoons and I almost pulled away. But my hunger kicked in with slamming force and I sucked on him so hard I almost toppled him over. His life force poured into me, and I felt intensely grateful to him, and maybe even a tiny bit in love with him. But I had no desire to touch him or hold him, any more than I would one of Gran’s deep fried chicken legs.

As I drank, Bill stood behind me, holding back my hair. He had always loved playing with my hair, and it had made me feel pampered when he would brush it and braid it for me. I hoped he might do that later. Maybe I should have him braid my hair each night before I fed so it wouldn’t get bloody…

As my attention wandered, I felt the boy’s legs quaking and I lifted my mouth from his neck. I turned my head so Bill could kiss the boy’s blood from my lips. I felt a lot better, but my mind was struggling to wrap around this new way of being.

“Release him, Sookie,” Bill reminded me.

“Oh yeah,” I said absently. I stared into the boy’s eyes and pulled my influence out of him with a snap. The boy staggered and Bill reached out to steady him. He looked at the boy intently, and I knew he was erasing the memory of us from the boy’s frightened mind. I watched my first dazed victim walk away and ran my tongue around the inside of my mouth. Metallic. My fangs folded back with the sound two pieces of paper make shuffling apart.

“Golly, they sure don’t taste like you, “I said amazed.

“Now do you see what I was telling you? How good you have always tasted to me?” I nodded slowly, but I could see something I had been missing—did I have to become a vamp to see it?—I WAS different. I had been different all along. Not crazy-different, as I had thought for so long, but divine-different. Bill had spotted it in me from the moment he’d met me, and it was the thing that made him love me. I thanked god for that.

Bill held my gaze, his face hardening a little. Uh-oh, I thought, and a small smile flicked across Bill’s face as he heard it inside his head. “Vampires don’t say ‘Uh-oh”” he quoted me.

Then he looked at me seriously. “You must be kind to your victims, Sookie. They are feeding you. You need them. If you want to fit in”—now he was really sounding like me—“you must enter their minds slowly and leave just as slowly, or you will frighten them and turn them against us.”

“I’m sorry, Bill. I’ll do better next time.”

“I know you will. It is time to go.”

“Don’t you need to feed too?”

“No, I am fine for tonight. Perhaps tomorrow… if you are a good student… there will be time.”

I felt terrible for being so selfish, leaving my love hungry so that he could teach me. With my regret, a flood of exhaustion took me.

“I feel so tired. Why are my legs shaking?”

“Dawn is coming. We must sleep.”

“But you don’t feel like this?” He didn’t look tired at all.

“I did at one time. I don’t so much anymore. But we always feel the sun coming and we know it is time to go to ground.” Bill lifted me up in his arms—he had always loved to carry me—and began walking back toward his house. “No,” I whispered at his ear—again with astonishment that he could hear me—“I want to go home.” Bill stopped to study my face, then gave the faintest of nods and turned through the woods. He had made a hidey-hole for himself in one of my closets, and that is where he took me. But I could hear his thoughts: he was reluctant to leave me and seek his own rest apart.

I climbed down into the hole for the first time ever and looked up at him towering above me. His expression was so tender that I quaked. “Kiss me good night?—or… I guess, good morning?” and was rewarded with one of Bill’s sweet smiles. He gently lowered himself down beside me—there was just room for us both to fit with our arms around each other. I turned my face up to him and he bent very slowly to my waiting mouth.

Bill’s cool lips closed softly around my upper lip, then just as softly around my lower lip. He pulled back the teensiest smidge and brushed his lips across mine, left, right, and back again. Then he paused, our mouths only barely apart, and I could feel him… what? Inhale (vampires don’t breathe… )? Smell me?

I was exhausted by the coming of the sun, but I could also feel something else coming. I didn’t know how much time we had, but I intended to make the best of it. Without any effort at all, I climbed up his slender, gorgeous body and wrapped my legs around his waist. He put his hands under my butt, supporting me like I weighed nothing—and I guess, to him, I did. I put my mouth on his, nibbling him, feeling his tongue just barely part my lips. My fangs ran out a little, and Bill touched each one with his tongue, exploring them, licking them—they were, after all, his creation. I gently pushed his tongue back so I could explore for myself, and I felt his fangs run out against my tongue, sharp and smooth and very, very dangerous. I shivered (I never had to fear his fangs again, but I had always sort of enjoyed being a little afraid of him, since I also knew I could trust him completely; I decided it was a feeling I’d hang onto for the fun of it.).

I felt one of Bill’s hands move to unbuckle his belt and unzip his jeans, and I murmured into his mouth, “Are you ready?” “Oh yes,” he rumbled from deep in his throat, “are you ready for me?”

“Why don’t you see?” I invited. With the hand that wasn’t supporting me, Bill slid his hand up my thigh and under the lace of my panties. When his fingertips found my opening, he gasped—not only was I ready, I was practically dripping wet for him.

Bill pressed me back against the wall of the hidey-hole, pulled my panties down in front—they were going to be ruined—giving him just enough room to slip inside me, which he did with teeth-clenching slowness. It seemed like he was concentrating on memorizing every smidgen of me. I could see a muscle in his jaw jump as he focused on controlling himself. I felt, rather than heard the smallest growl in his throat. I was totally impaled on his hardness, and I was more excited and more tired than I’d ever been.

I laid my face against his smooth white neck and sighed, “Bill, I feel the sun.” He nodded, withdrew from me completely, and the world went absolutely black as I fell into the sleep of the dead.

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