Chapter 101 rated R

I was dreaming. I was a small child and I was very sick. I burned with a high fever that seemed to be melting my flesh. Every cell in my body hurt and my intestines twisted in knots like I’d eaten something rotten. My hair was soaked in sweat and my eyes ached. My mouth was dry as a desert. Even my fingernails felt bad.

Gran was sitting beside me, putting a cold cloth on my forehead. She murmured soothing sounds. She had the sweetest voice, the darkest, sexiest voice… what?

My eyes flew open so fast I felt dizzy. I was… where was I? I seemed to be looking up at a floor—how could I be looking UP at a floor? But there were boards and joists, and I was lying on compacted dirt. I was dressed in a short pink nightgown, the one I’d always kept for myself in Bill’s guest bedroom for when I spent the night. A faint, heavenly glow lit the darkness next to me. But I could see in the pitch black like the lights were on.

“Sookie?” Bill’s voice was comforting in my ear, like a warm shower on a cold day. I turned my face to my vampire. He was so lovely it almost hurt to look at him. I had always thought of him as handsome, but he seemed almost painfully beautiful, his eyes like liquid pools of dark in his white face, his thick, silken hair falling over his sculpted brow, puckered with worry, his extraordinary mouth pressed into a tight line of concern.

“Bill?” My voice sounded so… loud, but I thought I was whispering. “Why are we in a basement?”

And then I remembered. Bill had brought me here three days ago, after draining me of my blood—at my invitation, of course—and then opening a vein in his chest for me to drink his. Bill’s blood was the best thing I’d ever tasted and I couldn’t get enough (I had his blood twice before, but I didn’t like it nearly as much those times). His blood tasted red and raw and heavy. It filled my mouth and my body with shining rivers of power and sweetness and joy. I felt ravenous, insatiable.

When Bill had pulled back from me, lest I drain him to the point of weakness, I felt a wave of despair like I’d never known, as though I was bereft of all I loved and all that had meaning for me. I began to cry and Bill lifted me up and carried me to his house. I was sobbing and clinging to him like a baby—for a baby is what I was: Bill’s baby. I was a brand new vampire, made by the love of my human life, Bill Compton.

I had not seen Bill or been near him for days and nights as I was lost in my turning. I had hallucinated colors I never knew existed, sounds I’d never heard before, and swirling thoughts from my past; I was ill from the changes speeding through my body, but I was also exhilarated. I dreamed strange, wonderful, terrifying dreams of running through the woods chasing warm things, but somehow through my fear and isolation, I could always feel Bill with me, and in me. Bill had all my blood. And I had his. I was made of him now, and I was him. I always would be. No matter where I was, or where Bill was, we would always be aware of each other. If Bill called me, I would answer, without question or pause. He had made me in his likeness and he was god.

My god spoke to me in the richest, most tender voice: “You must be very hungry. You need to feed now. I will teach you.”

“Not just yet,” I said. “I feel so strange.”

“You are completely changed. You are no longer the human you were.”

Bill leaned up on his elbow to look into my eyes. I could feel his mind inside me, probing, searching. I realized with a jolt that I could feel him in my head. It wasn’t like my telepathy, but like his thoughts and mine were the same thoughts. Without speaking, I asked him what was worrying him so. Without speaking, he told me that he was concerned that I might not have been turned properly; he had never made another vampire before me (we both knew a vampire who had been badly turned; his name was Bubba, and he was like a great big child who just happened to be a very famous singer and a vamp).

I had teased Bill for being a virgin. He didn’t like being teased, never had, never would—that’s why it was always so much fun. But this was not a teasing matter. “I’m fine, Bill. I feel fine. I feel strong. I feel beautiful.”

“You ARE beautiful. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I thought you were lovely before… before I brought you over, but now? If I had breath, you’d take it away.”

I ducked my head against him, feeling shy, and yet immensely powerful. Could I fly? Could I tear a tree out of the ground, like I’d known Bill to do? A whole new world was about to be mine, but I didn’t want it just yet.

I rolled up against Bill, and folded myself tight next to him. His arms went around me and I burrowed my face into his neck. He made the tiniest sound, like a kitten purring, but I could hear him perfectly. I tipped my face up and kissed him. “It’s been days. I’ve missed you.”

He studied my face as if he could see my change. I had always been able to see the glow of vampires. Did I glow now to Bill?

“Your lips are cool; I wonder if I will miss your heat?”

“You’ll miss my… heat?” I smiled at Bill. Whoo boy, I could feel that urge to tease him bubbling up in me until I thought I’d burst. I lifted a hand to his face and trailed one finger across his lips—he kissed it—down his chest and lower, cupped my fingers through his jeans, squeezing. Bill winced, but grew hard under my hand. I felt for his hand and moved it between my legs—I was already wet in anticipation—I could not believe how fast I was reacting, how immense my desire for him was.

“So I’m not… hot… any longer?” I teased. I put my face into his neck and shoulder—he smelled of salt and smoke like a perfect steak right off the grill. For the first time ever, I felt my fangs run out and it filled me with dread and excitement.

“Sookie, “ Bill said in a soft voice of warning. “You must feed.”

“I… must?” I replied, feeling my smile spread down to my toes.

Bill nodded.

“Oh? Must I?” This was going to be so much fun! I grabbed his thick dark hair at the back of his neck and pulled back his head. I kissed him the way he had taught me to kiss, long and deep and with my whole body behind it, and all the longing I had ever felt, and all the days and weeks that I had loved him and missed him were in that kiss. I could feel him in my head, kissing me back, loving me back, wanting me completely and always. And always was what we had, but right now I didn’t have time to wait.

I rolled over on top of him to slide my tongue between his parted lips. My hands pushed him down and his hands gripped my shoulders, his fingers digging in—but instead of hurting, it made my desire for him skyrocket—he couldn’t hurt me. I couldn’t hurt him. I grabbed Bill’s wrists and pressed his hands down to my breasts—he had told me they were the most perfect breasts in the world. I had never appreciated them quite so much as when Bill cupped them in his avid hands, rubbing his thumbs across my hardening nipples.

I gasped and threw my head back, sighing, “Bill. Bill. Bill.” He lifted up like a panther or a snake, in that way only a vampire can, and captured my mouth with his, his tongue pressing for entry. I bit it, drawing blood. He grunted, and drove his tongue into me like a weapon. I bit his bottom lip and tasted the salt and the smoke of his blood. Was I kissing him or consuming him? I couldn’t tell. I clenched my thighs around him—at the strength of my grasp, he yelped in surprise—and rolled over and under him.

I looked up at Bill poised over me, blood running down his chin even as the wound was visibly healing—I couldn’t stop looking at it—I could smell the metallic scent of Bill’s blood and it made me crazy with desire for him. I shook my hair out of my eyes to look deeply into his own, which were huge and dark with shock, and yes—here it comes— delight. He is delighted by me. He breaks out into a genuine, broad grin—the first one I have ever seen on Bill’s face. Occasionally, in my human form, I would catch a half smile dawning on his lips, and it was always a wonderful and scary thing. But now it made me bark with laughter and flooded me with pure happiness.

I pushed his shoulders up and back, flipping him again simply because I could, and straddled him with my legs. Very, very slowly, to give him plenty of time to see what was coming, I unbuttoned his shirt and eased his collar aside. And supernaturally slowly, I leaned down to the luscious curve of neck into shoulder, nuzzling, inhaling, feeling Bill shiver under me. I let him feel my fangs graze his neck, I let him feel me press them into his glorious white skin, piercing him and drawing on the wound. He began to whine like a hungry puppy, and he struggled to work off his jeans, expecting me to help. I pressed my whole body down on him and drew from the wound again, refusing to help. Bill was genuinely whimpering with lust, but I put my hand behind his head and guided his face to my neck—for a split second he resisted, then I felt his fangs nick my flesh. As he sucked in my blood, I sucked in his, and I could feel the circle of blood flowing from him to me to him to me in an endless copper stream of enchantment, gratitude, and love.

I sucked harder, making Bill growl in part pain, part lust—he really wanted his pants off and I heard fabric tearing. His tremendously hard cock leapt free of his jeans and bounced against my stomach. I erupted in laughter and licked his neck to capture any last delectable flow, pulling my neck away from his mouth. I reached between us to take him in my hand, looking into his eyes. I began to rub the head of his cock over my pulsing nub, slowly and rhythmically, holding his gaze. If I had been human, I would be panting. As it was, I almost could not keep watching him, but seeing his eyes flicker, his lids going heavy with ardor, made me hold his attention.

“Watch me,“ I barely whispered—this was a trick I’d learned from someone else, during that awful time I couldn’t believe Bill loved me, and I could barely wait now to share it with my beloved—and his eyes followed mine.

I bent to lick his collarbone, circle one hard nipple with the tip of my tongue, and trailed my lips down his taut belly, tugging his dark hair with my lips. I looked up briefly to make sure he was still watching—he was. I pointed my tongue and slowly, slowly, so slowly encircled the glossy head of his cock, and then ever so gently—my fangs were full out—slid my lips and mouth down his length as far as I could. Bill made a sound deep in his throat that was both a plea and a demand, and I began to slide him in and out of my mouth.

“Sookie,” Bill gasped, “Sookie… please… I…” I glanced up to find Bill’s hands hovering helplessly around my head, and I whispered accusingly, “You aren’t watching!” “Yes… I am… but I…” Bill’s inarticulate desire enflamed me. I tipped my head back down, turning my face into his upper thigh, my mouth inches from his femoral artery. Bill’s hands ever so gently pulled back my hair so that he could see—I looked up into his dark eyes, deeper, deeper until I felt I was looking at his soul. Bill was trembling like he had a fever. “Please,” he said. If I’d been human, I would not have heard him. I smiled ever so slightly. “Please what?” I asked sweetly. “Goddamit, Sookie,” Bill roared and grabbed for me, but I was faster and I sank my fangs hard into his thigh. Bill howled with pain and need—blood spurted into my mouth, but I’d barely tasted him before he slithered out from under me, and was behind me justlikethat.

Before I could brace myself, he drove into me with such force he flattened me to the floor and fell on top of me. As he reared back and plunged into me again, I could feel all my passion building up to a white-hot peak, and I thought I would pass out from the intensity. I began pushing up and back to meet him halfway as he pounded into me, and I was gulping and laughing and crying all at once as silver sparkly lights exploded in front of my eyes and inside my belly. Bill thrust hard with a snarl like some wild thing, and drove his fangs into my shoulder, tearing my flesh and sucking like he was drawing in my soul. He thrust down into me one last time and I felt him convulse and come, just as I reached my own darkly rolling wave of ecstasy. We collapsed forward on the ground, panting like we’d been in a raging fight. Bill rolled off to land beside me and— was this even possible?—his chest was heaving like he’d run miles. I was awash in contentment as I studied his face, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. “You look like an angel,” I murmured. Bill chuckled then, a sound I’d rarely heard come from him, a sound I adored. He had blood drying on his lip and chin, on his shoulder, and yes, on the inside of his thigh. I could feel blood crusting my shoulder. I wondered if vampires could bruise. I leaned in to lick his mouth clean, his chin—his stubbly beard was sandpapery—and he took me into his arms with incredible tenderness, pulling me against his body like he’d never let me go, holding me like I was a fragile child; and I was: his child.

I tilted my head back enough to look in his luminous eyes. “I’m not all that hungry right now,” I said. And my vampire, my father and lover threw back his head and laughed.

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