Better Married Then Dead

Here I am Sookie Stackhouse wearing a beautiful white dress and my grandmother’s wedding veil. I am carrying a bouquet of the red roses and to my left are a vampire and a fairy both wearing matching blue pastel bridesmaid’s dresses.

On my right stands a really gorgeous blond Vampire, Eric Northman Sheriff Area 5 and my great grandfather, Niall Brigant, the Fairy (he is really a fairy, not gay) is standing beside him acting as Best man.

All of us at the courthouse standing before a judge who is studying our marriage license before the ceremony begins. I am about to marry Eric.

Yes, I, Sookie Stackhouse, am about to become Mrs. Northman.

White wedding dress, bridesmaids, burning hunk of a sexy future husband. Sounds like every little girl’s dream, right?

Well, afraid not. I am getting married because of VAMPIRE SHIT!

Read further for more details

The mood was rather tense as they had been trying to figure out the best way to keep Sookie safe now that The King of Nevada has ordered Eric to turn her over to him

“Niall, she is related to you and you have Fairy Magic at your disposal, there must be something that you can do”.

The tall man shifts in his chair and sighs “what do we of the Fae know of Vampire politics? She is a mainly human and those laws should not even apply to her."

“They apply to her because she is mine and bonded to me by blood, not to mention is under contract with Nevada to provide services for them at their request.

“There is little that I can do, our safe zones would not accept her because of her mixed heritage and if I were to send her any other place in the world, they could just torture you or Jason until either of you lets them know of her whereabouts. Either way she would have to leave her life in Bon Temps forever and spend the rest of her life being hunted by power hungry vamps” replied the fairy, glazing significantly at Eric when he said the last part.

“You know Eric; there are legal ways to keep her safe that don’t involve magic at all” said Niall in a musing tone.

Eric stood up to his full height of 6 ft. 5’ and started to pace the narrow room like a caged lion “okay Niall, and what would that be? Getting the Weres involved and going to war?”

“Well, the best way I figure involves rings and some strategic costuming.” Noticing the blank expression on the Viking’s face he added “get married, as is now legal for vamp-human to marry in your state. The King can ask for your human or even your bonded, but can’t legally ask you turn over your wife to him; that is kidnapping.”

That stopped him pacing right in his tracks. 'Marriage?' He didn’t really like the sound of that. Just the other night he was making fun of the hen pecked vamps who allowed a mortal to defang them by talking them into it “I rather doubt that she would agree to this; I haven’t even spoken to her in four months.”

Niall, who really didn’t understand either humans or vampire said in a very slow voice as if talking to a child “so, you, her bonded, the closest man to her heart, hasn’t even seen Sookie for many, many month and now you call me to discuss her future. Is that right?”

“Yes, it is, but it was for her own protection that I didn’t seek her out. Since the take over I have been doing everything I can to draw attention away from her. I thought this might be coming and was just trying keep her out of harms way” he said.

“Was she aware of the reason through coded messages or anything?”

“No, I have been too afraid that if she knew of the danger that she would insist on getting involved and that would have kind of defeat the purpose.” He missed her and he knew it. He missed everything about her how she laughed, the way she smelled, the way she clung to him in her sleep and especially how she looked when she came during their love play. For just a few brief days that he was truly happy for the first time in a long time and it was given to him by a Witch’s curse and then taken away.

Now his life was full of bitterness, emptiness, intrigue and the knowledge that she was only 30 minutes drive away from him (20 flying) but that he couldn’t go to her. Even when her pain echoed his own through their bond.

“Well, don’t you think that 1000 years is a little old to be a bachelor?” Inquired the crafty Fairy “I am 3000 years old and have had 22 wives. You brought her into this crap; you are the one that should fix it. Unless you know of anyone else who might want to marry her. Like perhaps that shifter boss of her's, Sam” he finished.

This suggestion earned him a nasty glare from Eric “so that is our best option? I force the most obstinate female that I know to marry me, a vampire to keep her from other vampires bent on enslaving her. She is not going to go for it; it took her about 8 months and me not being myself to get her to even agree to have sex with me. I have never had to work so hard for it in my life or my death for that matter. Besides, we have what Pam calls relationship issues”

“You know this is not to my liking one bit that my great grandchild is involved with you in the first place; I think that your relationship with her has been detrimental to her health and well being” said Niall; he didn’t like vampire politics one bit and liked vampires even less.

Eric leaned over the fairy so close that they were practically face to face “and your relationship with her has been so positive? Where were you when her pedophile uncle was molesting her? When her parents died? Her grandmother? You left her here without any guardians, knowing full well of her gift and didn’t even try to help her in any way. How about when she was so poor she couldn’t even afford to fix her driveway?” he growled . “Then you see her at a wedding and realize that she has enough of your blood to interest you and that you want to meet her. Yet you don’t even have the common courtesy to meet her brother who also has your blood because he has no gifts! So you pretty much order me to bring her to the restaurant like I was a taxi driver.”

He paused “you may not like vampires, but at least we see to it that our children have the necessary skills in order to survive on their own before they leave us, where as you fairies leave your by-blows where they may occur and do nothing for them as your racial purity instincts won’t even allow you to help them in any way.”

“I sent Claudine to her to protect her and besides I promised my son I wouldn’t interfere” countered Niall.

This just made Eric madder “yes you did, when she was a full grown woman after she had our protection. I have taken bullets for her, paid for her medical coverage when she couldn’t afford it and have tried to be there for any way that she will allow me to be. Not a fairy, but me, a vampire. And to add insult to injury for all that I have done for you and yours. YOU OFFER TO STAKE ME SO THAT SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE BONDED TO ME ANYMORE.” he roared.

Niall had to consider what was being said to him. Perhaps the vampire had a point “okay, I take that back. However, would you have needed to do those things if she had never met you?

Eric could only shake his head at; he would do this for her to protect her, but it didn’t mean that he had to like her family.


'What a nice night', thought Sookie, she had a couple of days off in a row from her job at Merlotte’s, which was a rare thing for her. She had elected to sit on her front porch and enjoy a glass of sweet tea while she watched the fire flies. 'Nice night, not a vamp in sight' she thought facetiously. Not even the one she wouldn’t mind seeing; the one that set her soul on fire with just his kiss and set other parts on fire at the same time.

That lead her to wonder what little message she would get from Pam this week, Pam dutifully called on her once a week to see how she was doing; kind of like how one does with an aging relative.

Pam always reported that Eric was too busy to talk to her but sends his greetings.

Busy her ass; he was too busy banging fang-bangers to think about her.

She remembered that one of the last time that she saw him. He said “we will talk and come to an understanding”. Yeah, things that might not be real, the sasquatch, Nessie and Eric. She already knew that Elvis or Bubba sightings were real.

Sadly she missed him and wished he was with her right then on the porch chatting with her. Or doing wherever else he wished to do on the porch, couch, table top, old swing in the yard etc. She quickly got rid of that thought. 4 months of abstinence do not a happy Sookie make.

Just then the two vampires and two fairies stepped from the shadows. Her heart leapt slightly at the sight of Eric; damned bond, damned him.

As politely as she could she greeted everyone “Hi Claudine, Great Granddad (Niall winced at this title), Pam, Eric.” She was slightly confused to see the vampires and fairies hanging out together; being that fae blood was intoxicating to vampires. But golly, it was good to see them and she proved it by giving them all tight hugs.

Eric led her back to the porch and sat her down beside her setting his large hands on her shoulders and staring into her eyes “Sookie, we have to talk.”

Sensing that all the parties (with the exception of the eternally cheerful Claudine) seemed kind of grim put Sookie on alarm. “Sure, what shall we talk about, have I been contracted out again?”

“No, it is far worst then that the King of Nevada has demanded that you be given to him tomorrow. I can’t protect you with my position anymore; he is the King and can demand this of me as he chooses”.

“What? No, I won’t go and he can’t make me.” She cried her eyes flashing angrily.

Eric sighed, “I have already explained this to you, as you a mine and bonded to me then that means that you can be handed over to him at any time and if you refuse then he will kidnap and kill anyone that you hold dear. Like your brother and myself.”

She really looked at him and realized that he wore an expression that she had never seen on his proud, arrogant face; fear. Fear for her “I don’t want that to happen, I will go” she said trying to sound brave when her heart was racing. “I guess I should go pack”

He pulled her off her chair and sat her on his lap. “There is a way that we might be able to prevent him being able to take you. But whether we take that chance depends on your answer.” He paused to gather the words. Why were they so hard to say? Finally he managed to pull them out of his conflicted brain “We need to get married”

Sookie was positive that she must be hearing things. “I am sorry” she said in the way too cheerful voice she normally adopted when she was feeling stressed “did you just tell me that we have to-get married.”

Eric nodded solemnly, “yes, I have been consulting with your” he eyed Niall to gauge the effects of his words “great granddad to look for options and that is all we could come up with. This is the only solution to keep you from becoming his slave. Being bonded to another means nothing when we are talking Kings and Queens. However as we vampires are now bound to follow human law; even a King can’t separate a couple legally bound by human marriage. It is kind of a loop hole."

Sookie was in turmoil, she couldn’t believe what Eric was asking her to do “but I can’t, it is the most sacred bond between a man and a woman. You can't ask me to enter into loveless marriage so that I won't be handed off to someone like a party favour."


Eric glanced at the others, who seemed too interested in what was going on.

“Give us a minute please” he requested. He waited until they vanished around the corner, and then turned back to Sookie, whose eyes looked suspiciously moist at that point. “Sookie, I didn’t want it to be like this. I do have strong feelings for you and will not force you to marry if you don't want to. But I told you that I would always protect you and that is a promise I intend to keep.”

“Don’t ask me to do this” she said “please don’t take this away from me too” and started crying in earnest. She was referring to the fact that Bill took her virginity on orders of the late Queen of Lousiana.

He gathered her to him; he had always been nervous around crying women “Sookie, I am sorry, if there was any other way I would do it, but this is all that I can think of. It can just be a marriage on paper for now. I won’t claim marital rites and we can lead separate lives if you want”

She slipped her arms around him, lifted her head and looked into his eyes, the warmth there surprised her “okay” she said in a small voice “if this is the only way, then I shall do it”

He smiled and slipped a diamond solitaire in platinum setting on her ring finger, it fit perfectly. “Here, you will need one of these.” Him being as pragmatic as he was, he had had the foresight to stop at a jewelry store on the way to her house. Of course he had a set of wedding bands that matched her ring in his pocket.

This prompted her to start crying again. Trust Eric to give her $10,000.00 ring and phase it like he was offering her a breath mint.

Pam came strolling around the corner “Master, she is leaking again. Why does she always seem to do that when you are around?”

“Does this mean that you are getting married and I get to be your fairy godmother for real?” inquired Claudine brightly.

Sookie nodded tearfully at her.

“Oh, can Pam and I be your bridesmaids then?” she said happily and spun her tall frame around and her plain t-shirt dress turned into a floor length blue pastel gown with a corset back and silver embroidery around the waist. Then she pointed at Pam and her attire turned into a matching dress. She winked at her at her as she handed her a bouquet of white roses like her own.

“Wow, pretty” said Pam “do you mind if I am one Sookie? I never was one while I was alive.”

Sookie smiled at them as politely as possible and said that yes indeed, the colour of dress was just fine with her and that she would love for them to stand up with her.

Claudine then regarded Eric the vampire in his faded blue jeans and old black t-shirt as if he was a poor country cousin and said “you can’t get married in that! I love how this bloodsucker can remember to get rings but couldn’t stop to put on a tux.”

He glared at her “I have been busy trying to sort out our problem; I just didn’t have the time.”

“You’re a vampire, you probably have several” retorted the fairy

“Yes, I do, but they are in Shreveport, where I live, not here.”

“Wow, really thought this through I see. Okay fine, abracadabra etc. etc.” Claudine pointed to him and his clothing change into a tux.

Sookie stopped sniffling and stared at him. He looked good enough to eat.

“You clean up really nicely for a dead guy.” Said the happy fairy, clearly enjoying herself “okay, now the bride, what sort of dress do you want Girlfriend?”

Sookie described what she thought would work, a sweetheart neckline, strapless and no train and for her veil, she wanted to wear her grandmother’s. She still felt overwhelmed; her heart so wasn’t in this.

“Will this do?” asked Claudine

Sookie stood there in a white dress with a small crinoline underneath the a-line skirt, a corset bodice with a sash that matched the bridesmaids dress. The aforementioned veil was attached to a light blue crystal tiara. She carried a bouquet of red roses. She looked down at herself and started crying again. 'This was supposed to be the happiest day of her life!'

“Master, will you do something about her tears, they will get on her dress and ruin it” pointed out Pam.

Eric seemed unable to get his eyes off his future wife’s cleavage. But wrenched himself back to reality “Sookie, er Honey, please don’t cry this will all be over soon.”

'Yeah', she thought to herself , 'that is just great ; make it sound like marrying her was an ordeal to be suffered.' Still she knew that he was trying to be as sensitive to her feelings and did appreciate the effort.

Claudine eyed Niall who was nattily dressed as ever in a bronze coloured suit and apricot tie “looks like you don’t have to change My Lord.”

A thought occurred to Sookie “Claudine, how is it that you are able to be here without the vamps trying to eat you?”

“My Lord, is shielding us both, I am not very good at that, so normally have to stay away from fang gang members.'


They got their license then had a seat to wait until their number was called.

Eric took her hand “are you okay?”

She was still feeling weirded out by the experience “I am okay I guess, I still not sure that to think.”

A vamp-human couple came out of the courtroom, the male vampire was tall and thin with a high forehead and bucktooth fangs. The bride was a very pretty curvy brunette wearing a very skimpy white dress with visible fang marks on her neck.

“Mr. Eric, Mistress Pam I would never have thought to see you here this evening” said the male vampire in a slightly amused tone. “Did you come to honour us by attending our wedding?”

“Oh no,” Pam answered smoothly, “We are attending one of our own” indicating towards Eric and Sookie; her sense of humour as having a field day.

“Oh, congratulations, I didn’t even know that you were dating a human. Quite hard things to resist aren’t they? He said smiling at his new bride, who smiled back “this one insisted to becoming the Missus now that it is legal and all.”

“Good evening Godin and congratulations” said Eric, he couldn’t stand the guy quite frankly and never could in the two hundred years that he had known him. “If you wish to stop by Fangtasia some evening we would be happy to supply you with some champagne and a nice warm vintage for yourself of course, in honour of your marriage.'

Godin grinned; making his fangs protrude even more; “oh that would be lovely, but I shall stick to True Blood thank you, Mrs. Godin would take a stake to me if I were to touch a fang-banger. Right Honey-Pie?”

Sookie recognized Mrs. Godin as a lower classman from her high school; in every description of the word. “Sandra, how nice to see you, that is a lovely dress” she lied.

“I like yours too, it is so traditional. Speaking of lovely, we have to get together soon so that you can explain to me how you managed to snag that fine, fine piece of dead meat” replied Sandra looking at Eric in a way that made Sookie uncomfortable.

She could sense Eric’s displeasure at running into this couple through the bond and she was starting to enjoy herself just a little “Just lucky, I guess. Right Boo Boo Kins? Hims likes wittle blonde humans” She said running her hand down his arm and looking at him with large doe eyes.

“Oh well, we have to get going, time to do a little consummating” said Godin. “Sorry we can’t stay and watch your wedding. After all this little lady has been saving herself for marriage.”

Once they had left Eric said “how many time do you think she has been married?”

“About a couple hundred times is my guess." Replied Sookie "They seemed really nice, Hon, should we have them over for dinner some night?” she was still sporting wide, innocent blue eyes.

Is that how tame vamps are expected to be? Thought Eric, he hoped that Sookie didn’t expect him to be one of those guys. The poor saps sitting in gay little chairs in front of dress shop change rooms dandling their wife’s purses in their laps. He often had the urge to kill those poor ball-less creatures just to put them out of their misery.

Their number was called and they went into the court house and stood before the judge. The ceremony itself was mercifully short, they said the vows, exchanged rings and signed the married certificate and kissed. That part Sookie really enjoyed.

She looked up at the Viking the entire time, trying to picture how their wedding would have been different if he was the sweet, sensitive guy that she fell in love with when he had lost his memory.

What fresh hell is this? Thought Eric throughout, he felt really nervous. He, who had faced whole armies with a trace of fear, felt nervous about getting wed to a mortal girl. Why would anyone want to put themselves through this? He just didn’t get it, he felt happy that his bonded would be safe and happy in another way that he couldn’t quite identify yet. He also thought she looked so beautiful.


After they left the courthouse Sookie turned to everyone awkwardly. “Well" she said, "thank you for coming to the wedding" and started walking to her car.

Eric was not sure if he was supposed to go with her or leave with the rest of them; he didn’t feel it right to impose himself on her but didn’t want to leave her alone either. He hesitated until Claudine swatted him in the head and pointed for him to go after her.

“Sookie, wait. Where are you going?” following Claudine’s lead.

She leaned out the car window and said,” I am going to Merlotte’s for a drink, I sure could use a drink about now.”

“Why don’t I come with you then? You are not much of a drinker and I can drive you home afterwards.”

“What about Pam, shouldn’t you get her home.”

Claudine darted over to the car and said, “Don’t worry about Pam; I’ll get her home." she then darted back to where the others were standing. Both fairies grasped Pam's arms and they all vanished.

Eric could tell by the fact that Sookie wasn’t looking at him that she was really upset and probably going to cry again. “Look I have been told that a woman’s wedding is supposed to be the most important day of her life, but we did what we had to do.”

That was it, Sookie stomped on the gas and she was gone. She was not in the mood for practicality.

He sighed shook his mane of hair and flew in the air towards Merlotte’s.

Sookie arrived in the bar still wearing her wedding gown and veil. She not aware that she was holding her bouquet like she was going to club someone with it.

"Here Arlene, go marry a nice vampire" she shouted as she flung the bouquet at her. Arlene shrank from the flowers, letting them hit the floor. She gave Sookie a nasty glare and left them where they lay.


Merlotte’s was pretty busy that night. Jason’s road crew had stopped in for a drink after work. everyone froze at the sight of her in her wedding gown.

“Sookie, why are you wearing a wedding dress” asked her brother Jason at the same time as Sam asked “What do those damned vampires having you do now?”

Sookie fished the veil off her head and spat “I just got married. Why else would I wear a wedding gown?”

Eric strode into the bar like he owned it and said “Hi Sam, a gin and tonic for Sookie and O Negative for me please” he then drew her onto the bar stool beside him and sat her next to Jason.

Jason was his usual helpful self “hey Eric so you two finally tied the knot huh? Why wasn’t I invited?”

“Sorry it was a spur of the moment thing”

“Does that mean that you are my brother-in-law?”

“Guess so.”

“Shouldn’t you have asked me first if you wanted marry her?”

“Okay, Jason, can I marry your obstinate, annoying sister?”

“Shoot, sure you can.”

“You have any money?”

“Lots. Why, did you want a dowry for her?”

It was then that Sookie who was half done her first drink during this little exchange shrieked “Jason Ulysses Stackhouse, you had better not even consider it!”

“Ulysses?” inquired Eric

“My parents liked to read a whole lot”

“What is Sookie’s middle name then?”

“Well for her first name my mother heard the name in a play and liked it. But she spelled it wrong, so instead of S-u-k-i-e, she spelled it S-o-o-k-i-e, . By the time they found it about the mistake, it was too late. Her middle name is Ophelia from Hamlet.”

“Sookie Ophelia Northman, I like the sound of that”

Sookie just glared at him and ordered another drink. She was not amused by this. All of these people had dead set against her dating vamps. Now suddenly they accepting of one because he had made an honest woman of her and put a ring on her finger. She listened as Catfish and Eric argued about the best way to build a load bearing wall. She wondered if next would be her husband being invited to bbqs and tractor pulls.

“Something bothering you Sookie?” Inquired Sam who noticed that she seemed upset.

“I am fine Sam” she said “It is nothing a good sharp stake couldn’t handle.”

The rest of the people sitting at the bar just rolled their eyes at each other. “Newlyweds that explains everything” was the common thoughts going on in their brains as Sookie heard.

Sookie was miserable, here she was on her wedding night sitting in a crappy bar with the man that she just pledged herself to love, honour and cherish for the rest of her life. The worst part is she was definitely going to die before him; he had 1000 years on her.

“Sam, one tequila shot please.”

Eric quirked an eyebrow and her and asked “Are you sure you haven’t had enough to drink?”

“I will have all that I want, thank you very much” she replied, though she had to admit that the alcohol was going right to her head.”

Catfish leaned over and said “you should listen to your husband, Sookie. It is true Mister; she never could drink.”

Sookie winced when he referred to Eric as her husband. A husband is someone who loves you stands beside you and weathers the rough and smooth times with you. Not Eric! Not someone who rents you out like a backhoe to all the vamps of the world.

She was now on her third drink and had had one tequila shot. The world was starting to spin.

Eric sighed and paid for her drinks. He had been talking with her brother mainly, not wanting to upset her further. This was a bad idea; he should have just have left her alone tonight, but didn’t want her drinking on her own. “Come on, let’s get you home” as he helped her to her feet he noticed that she had a distinct wobble to her walk.

Now she was drunk on top of being upset with him.

He put her in the passenger seat of her car and drove them back to her place. “Come along," he said as he picked her up and carried her inside.

She started to giggle at the wedded image of it; this caused him to look down at her.

“What is so funny?”

“You are carrying me over the threshold.”

“I would allow you to walk over it if I felt you could” he replied setting her gently onto the bed and he took off her shoes, trying not to notice that she seemed to be wearing something very brief, lacey and white underneath her dress. Fucking fairies.

She reached back to tug uselessly at her corset strings, until he pulled her onto his lap and unlaced her. The entire time he was fighting his arousal; he was enjoying this intimacy too much and had already promised her he was not going to claim martial rites until she was ready.

“There” he said setting her on her feet and steering her towards the washroom with the nightgown that he had found under her pillow on her arm. He was very careful not to touch the long silky line of her back that her unlaced gown revealed. The sooner she got into her nightgown the better. Tearing the dress from her and claiming her was too tempting.

He leaned against the wall, even being in room and smelling her scent was arousing him.

She came out of the washroom and staggered to bed. He pulled back the covers, tucked her in, kissed her cheek and turned to leave.

“Eric?” she said in a drowsy voice

“Yes?”

“Could you hold me please?”

“Of course” he said as stripped off his tux, keeping his underwear on and got under the covers with her. He gently arranged them so that her head was resting his breast as he knew she liked to sleep with his arms around her while was she cuddled against his side. She sighed in her sleep as he stroked her back. He had lived 1000 years old to be a mortal woman’s teddy bear he mused and went into downtime.

A couple of hours later Sookie woke up feeling slightly headachy but incredibly comfortable. She tightened her arms happily around the tangle of comfortable pale limbs “You have a nice rest?” asked Eric coming out of downtime.

She swiveled her head up. “You’re still here”

“I didn’t want to wake you up, you seemed so comfortable and I like snuggling you.

She nodded remembering, and then did something she had never done to any man before; she jumped him.

She might be mad at him but it had been a long, long time and he was gorgeous.

She lifted her head off the bed and began kissing him intently, while she reached down and began to pump him through his silk boxers. He moaned and his fangs started to extend. She answered him by moving to his nipples and lightly biting them, while both of them reached to remove his underwear. She kissed down the length of his muscular chest and began to lick down the length of him. He hissed and reached for her. “No” she said “let me play with you first” She then wrapped her lips around his and drew him in and out of her mouth, while she gently juggled his balls. She Smiled as he moaned. She then kissed him again and nipped his neck.

He picked her up and flipped her over. Smiling like a lazy tiger, he said “now is my turn to play” and ripped off her nightgown, the then drew one of her nipples into his mouth and slide a finger inside her timing each thrust to when he sucked her nipple into his mouth, until she gasped. Then he lowered himself to between her legs and licked and fingered her until she gasped out his name during her climax. He then positioned himself at her entrance “look at me lover” he purred as he entered her. He gently guided himself inside her, giving her plenty of time to accommodate him and then started plowing into her with long thrusts. She reacted by clawing at his back and lifting her body into his thrusts. He smiled as she had two orgasms in a row and yelled his name each time. She was sobbing and moaning, just quivering with lust for this man, her husband!

He flipped them over sensing that she needed to have the reins for a bit, she rode him hard, practically growling with each thrust, until they reached their climax at the same time. He then gently positioned them so that they were side by side on the bed. After some lazy kissing he propped himself up on elbow and said “a little pent up my dear?”

He was rather surprised by how aggressive she was sexually at the time. He knew that she normally liked her sex slow and gentle, allowing her to savour each thrust while he penetrated her. She smiled in return and stroked his cheek “it has been a while.”

“Since you had sex with Tigger (he meant Quinn)?” he already knew the answer from their blood bond.

“Yes, some people don’t have fang-bangers begging for their attention every night” this was kind of a sore point with Sookie; she could also sense his emotions through their bond and had felt with distinct displeasure every time he had sex.

He felt now was the time for their little talk. “Sookie, I want you to know that I have missed you ever day since I last saw you.”

“Yeah, I could tell from your numerous heart felt phone calls and letters to me” she replied with just a hint of sarcasm.

“It was kind of hard to romance a girl when you are worried for both of your lives. I had to distance myself from you physically and emotionally. I didn’t want you in danger.”

“Kind of makes you wish I had accepted your suggestion of giving up your position and coming to live with me here, huh.”

“It would have been sweet but, you were right to do what you did, no matter what it costs us. Why did I have to blackmail you into telling me what happened anyway? You could have just told me.”

“Oh that would have been fun, I can just see it now: well Eric, we finally had lots and lots of hot monkey sex and you fell in love with me and offered to give up your position and come and live with me AND get a job. So you feel like grabbing a movie and coming and hanging out with me tonight?”

He chuckled “I would have come; we probably would have had hotter monkey sex and I would been really shocked to find out that the second part was actually true when I got my memory back. What an effect you have on us Supe men my dear.”

She snuggled into him and nuzzled into his neck. "So now what?"

He leaned over and kissed her “you get some more sleep, I guess I am staying here tonight in that rat hole you call a hidey hole and we shall talk more tomorrow.”

The next day Sookie was awakened by the sound of a truck pulling into her yard. She threw on her bathrobe and went downstairs.

There was a UPS man at her door “Mrs. Northman?” Sookie frowned; she wasn’t quite sold on the name yet but knew that all the residents of Bon Temps wouldn’t call her anything but. You were expected to take a man’s last name when you marry, it was just the way it was.

“Yes?” she replied

“I have some packages for you, please sign here” He proceeded to unload about 20 packages. Sookie was concerned for a second that they were from Eric, until she read the names on the packages. They were wedding gifts she realized as she unwrapped them: casserole dishes, Bottles of True Class the champagne equivalent of True Blood, gift certificates to Home and Gardens etc. She was especially surprised and really didn’t quite understand why Pam gifted them a dog leash and a studded black leather dog collar; Pam knew they didn’t have a dog.

More kept on arriving throughout the day until the small farm house had gifts covering ever surface. She was still making a list for thank you cards when Eric woke up.

“What is all this, did you win some kind of prize? He asked taking in the myriad of things.”

“Nope, this is what humans do when people get married, they send presents. They also do the same thing for engagements and for when people have babies”

He picked up an extremely ugly vase “they send the ugliest items they can find?” She did have to admit it was extremely hideous “normally people go to a store and pick out what they like and wedding guests buy it for them. It is called registering”

“Odd custom, but most things that humans do is odd to me” said Eric dismissing the subject.

“Sookie, I don’t have much time but I need to tell you something”

“What is it?” He sat across the table from her and said “what we did last night might be considered treason and I could be called to the tribunal. In that case I might be put to death.”

She eyes grew wide with alarm “what? You told me that getting married would protect us.” He took her hand and looked into her eyes “what we did last night will protect you and that was my main objective. They can’t take you now, even if I was to die then my considerable holdings will revert to you. You will then be a very wealthy woman and too high on the radar for them to snatch. I have left everything to you except that which I have put aside for Pam. If anything happens to me I want you to go to…”

“You had better not say Bill, I am not going to be passed around!” she interrupted

“No, if anything happens to me, I want you to place yourself under Pam’s protection. Please Sookie, I am far too jealous a man to place you under the care of another man; even if I am dead for real.”

“What can be done?” She said starting to cry. She had just started to get him back and now he might be gone already “can I testify on your behalf?”

He smiled at her sadly as he licked a tear away “you are a human, only vampires are allowed there.” He held her as cried in his arms and stroked her hair.

“So all of this was for nothing? I could be a widow before the week is out? I don’t want to be married to a pile of ashes!”

“Sookie, I am back here with you where I belong. I am sorry it took me so long to come around.”

He kissed her, which lead to many other kisses and Sookie’s favourite sort of sex commenced.


Eric knew that it was only a matter of time before the King of Nevada learned about his marriage to his bonded, but was hoping for more then one night.

He was sitting on his ‘throne’ when Victor walked into his bar; he didn’t seem happy to see him. He didn’t even bother trying to be civil, just pushed past the normal thralls and hopped up on to the dais.

“Can I help you Victor?” Eric said in what sounded like a bored voice.

“The King sends his congratulations on your marriage to Ms. Stackhouse”

“Tell the King that Mrs. Northman and I accept his kind wishes but are not registered anywhere, so just send an ugly vase if he wishes to give us a gift.”

His eyes narrowed “you realize that what you did could be considered treason”

“What getting married and having legal sex with my wife is treasonous? No wonder the jails are so overcrowded” replied Eric pretending he did not understand.

"I have a further message from the King. He is very mad that you didn’t give him Mrs. Northman as you were ordered to. You are hereby charged with treason and are to report to the tribunal to be presided over by the ancient Pythoness tomorrow."


Eric explained the gist of the conversation to Sookie.

“So that is it? No fighting or anything you are just going to hand yourself over like a turkey on a platter.”

“That is the way things are, I am bound by vampire law like all the rest of my kind.” “

I am going with you then” she said her eyes blazing with anger “and you can’t stop me, I am your wife!”

“Honey, you can’t come, you aren’t a vampire.”

“Don’t you Honey me, Stackhouse women fight for their men and I am not going to sit around twiddling around my thumbs waiting for you to die”

“Sookie, I am doing this for you”

“By making me a widow before we even send our thank you cards for our wedding gifts. How that helping me?” she shouted “Damn you, why did I have to go fall in love with another damned vampire! I should have my head examined.”

“You love me?” he seemed surprised “I thought you only loved me when I was not in my right mind; uncomplicated fun as you called it”

Her eyes softened “I loved you long before that, but you were just too stubborn to realize it. Do you love me too?”

“I don’t know” he answered honestly, “I know have strong feelings, but I am not sure what they are yet.”

“It is okay, I can wait until you know for sure.”

“This might be our last night together, let’s not fight.”

Sookie started making phone calls right after they were done.


'This is it Eric thought', he had never been in the prisoners dock before. The ancient Pythoness read the charges and his trial was about to begin. Either way, Eric did not think he would ever see his wife again. Either he would be dead by the end of day or she would be by the time his punishment was over.

Just then there was a knock on the door, it was opened to admit Mr. Cataliades, the demon lawyer.

“Your honour, I have been retained by Mrs. Northman to represent her husband. May I please approach the bench?”

“I will allow it.”

“Thank you your Honour, I also have brought some witnesses to support my case, some of which aren’t vampires. I cite Dullard v. Magna as a binding case that allows them to be present today.”

“Opposed Counselor, approach the bench” said the Pythonese.

“Please look at this list of witnesses and let me know if you object to them being included in the trial.”

The King’s counselor looked the list over quickly and went paler then usual at the inclusion of some of the names.

“I have no objection your Honour.”

Mr. Cataliades smiled as only a demon can and “thank you your Honour, I would like to call to the stand Mr. Northman.”

Eric walked up to the stand feeling rather nervous, but darned if he was going to look at it.

“Mr. Northman, please look at this document. Is this the contract that you signed with the then Ms. Stackhouse stating that you could retain her services at will.” Eric scanned the contract and answered in the affirmative.

“I have read over this document and notice that says that you are retaining her services for Area 5, where then does the King become involved in a private transaction”

Eric explained about how humans are viewed in vampire society, knowing full well that Mr. Cataliades knew this already.

“But the long and the short of it is that you are the one that they have to approach in order to request her unusual talents”

“Yes that is correct” replied Eric

“Who is the retainer paid to?”

“I collect it from whomever she did work for and forward back to her what we agreed upon.”

“So then what financial compensation were you offered for her to be taken from you?”

“None was offered to me, I was just told that the King wanted her, so I was to present her.”

“Ah, now we reach the crux of the problem. So you have a valid contract when Ms. Stackhouse offered her services; who is not only your blood bonded but is now your wife. And yet the King thinks he can just request her like his favourite beverage. I know my wife would be pretty upset if someone tried to take her away from me. Was the original contract ever amended to read that ultimately she would serve the King of Nevada?”

Eric was suddenly excited “no it reads that she served the Queen of Louisiana.”

“Who is dead correct? Also the contractor is Sookie Stackhouse, not Sookie Northman”

“Yes”

“Further more according to the terms of her contract if a Kingdom falls then other Kingdoms have the right to buy out the original contract. Were you or your wife offered money for her contract in order to renew it?”

“No”

The opposition yelled “objection, the King has the right allowed to absorb all contracts as they stand.

“Even if the parties in question no longer are legally that person? Mrs. Northman went to the court house today and legally changed her name to her married name. I introduce into evidence her change of name certificate and their marriage certificate.”

“The court wishes to challenges the validity of their marriage. In my understanding in order for a human marriage to valid it must be consummated” argued the opposing counsel.

“Thank you Mr. Northman, you may step down but please remain front of the bench.

Sookie walked into the court room wearing dark brown leather pants, a fawn coloured sweater and kitten heel pumps.

Eric felt physically aroused, when did she start wearing leather pants?

“Your Honour, is there a precedent on how the court can determine if a married couple has made love or can we just do it the old fashioned way?” Even the vampires laughed at this.

“Sookie, could you please stand beside your husband for a second.” She did

“Thank you, now could my esteemed colleague please sniff them and let me know what you smell.”

The lawyer for the opposition walked up to Eric and Sookie and sniffed first one and then the other.

“Yes, your Honour it appears that their marriage has been well, well consummated.” Sookie blushed at this “Also it appears that the female had garlic bread for lunch” Eric narrowed his eyes at her.

“However, it just seems awfully convenient that they got married the before day he was supposed to turn her over.”

Mr. Cataliades smiled and said “that is where the rest of my witnesses come in. Defense calls Russell Egdington, King of Mississipi. Sookie almost giggled when she saw Eric start at the name.

The small neat vampire approached the bench.

“Thank you very much for coming, Your Majesty.”

“My pleasure, I have developed a rather fondness for Mrs. Northman, even if her husband lied to me.”

“Could you please explain to the court what happened at Josephine’s when the then Ms. Stackhouse was staked.”

“Why sure your Honour, she requested that Leif Erikson take care of her, who was later identified as Eric Northman and he sure did. He carried her out the club, took her to my place and arranged her to healed. He could hardly be persuaded to leave her side for second. It was really cute; some of my fellas were so jealous.”

“Thank you your majesty, no further questions. So he showed concern for his wounded mate, interesting.

There was close to 20 witnesses, Stan from Dallas, Alcide, Danthia, Sam, Tara, pretty much anyone that had ever witnessed their changing relationship over the years.

Eric now understood why humans blushed when they were embarrassed, if he could he would have been purple. With each new person's testimony he was painted more and more as a love sick sap. Granted the humans and vampires just answered the questions briefly and to the point; it was the shifters that seemed to take sadistic glee in using flowery language such as ‘buzzing around her like a honey bee, making goo goo eyes at her’ and what the hell did twitterpated mean? Even the ancient Pythoness seemed amused. And to think he was worried about having to hold her purse for her.

Sookie was finally called to the bench. “Mrs. Northman, would you tell me under what circumstances you married Mr. Northman.”

“Of course, well we had a lot of differences of opinion, the main one being that I couldn’t live with a man out of wedlock, I am a Christian after all. Then there were the religious differences. So when he finally asked me do have a non-denominational wedding at the court house, we decided to go for it right way. He can be awfully persuasive.” She noticed the attractive court reporter seemed to nod at this statement and Sookie looked quizzically at her husband.

“That sounds petty convincing to me, your Honour.”

On to the the closing arguments

“Getting back to the small matter of whether he contract involves her body and as well as her talent. I would like the court to find this contract is null and void.”

“I believe that the witnesses have proved that they are as they seem, a married couple in love that are very devoted to each other and only want to live their lives in peace. Also any actions that Mr. Northman took were not in the name of treason, but to defend his wife.”

“Then there is the matter of the new contract that Mrs. Northman signed, she can’t leave the state.”

“May I inquire as what is the nature of new contract? asked the Pythoness.

“Certainly, Mrs. Northman has volunteered to be one of the test subjects for trying to develop ways for human woman to carry human children born from the sperm of vampire males. Fascinating study, it involves a Petri dish, a Voo Doo priest and artificial insemination into the host’s womb after the swimmers have been, well reawakened. Between her telepathy and his age; they should be first in line for when the process has been perfected.

Now Eric visibly jumped and went even paler then normal, he gave Sookie a scared look. She just fluttered her eyelashes at him.

Just then the King of Mississippi stood up, “as visiting Royalty I have the right to say a few words. Mr. Northman I think that you are a crafty bugger for daring to lie about your name and entering my Kingdom under false pretenses. However, I would like to go on record as saying that if you ever would like to join my court I would find you a suitable position. At the same time I would buy out Sookie’s contract to bring her there with you should your position here become undesirable. Both have the protection of Mississippi.

“And Dallas” said Stan joining him “it would be a shame if anything should happen to them with two such powerful states backing them right Russell?”

“Why yes,” Russell said in a suggestive tone and isn’t it wonderful what they are doing for vampire science, I bet that that would make at least page 3 of Vampire America.” Then they beamed at the Judge

“I have reached my decision, please rise Mr. Northman. He did feeling slightly nervous “I find you not guilty of treason, you are free to go.” Everyone started to cheer.

“One more thing your Honour” said Mr. Cataliades I would like to request that these court records be sealed to protect Mr. Northman’s reputation. After all a person in his position might not want some references about his character that were said here to become public knowledge.”

“I can agree with that Counselor.”


Eric treated all of the witnesses and his defense lawyer to dinner and drinks at Merlotte’s afterwards as a way of thanking them; even the shifters.

As the party was underway and he pulled Sookie aside. “How did you manage to get everyone together like that in less then 24 hours?”

“I called them and asked; they wanted to help, so they did, besides Russell has a private jet and picked people up on the way in.”

“You are nothing sort of remarkable in how you manage to rally people around you.”

“Does this mean that you want to keep me?” she said sliding an arm around his waist.

“Most definitely” he replied with a toothy grin.

“Sookie, hearing all those people speak about us just made me…”

“Nauseous?” She supplied

“No, though I will get you for the public humiliation. No hearing everyone else speak and seeing us through their eyes made me realize something I should have faced a long time ago. I love you.”

Sookie started crying against his chest.

“Master, she is leaking yet again”

“Sookie let’s go back to your place, I need to get you out of those pants as nice as they may be.”

“You want us to leave our own party?”

“You two off your celebrate your victory in proper style? asked Pam with just a hint of a leer.

“Yes, please ask Sam to charge the tab to Fangtasia; that will give Bruce something to complain about.”

“Before you go, I have a wedding gift that Claudine asked me to pass on” she said holding up a vial of slightly pinkish blood.

“Is that what I think it is?” asked Eric with lust creeping into his voice.

“Yes Master” said Pam with a smile “The real thing, pure undiluted fae blood. Use it sparingly; don’t want to make her too raw. Now I suggest you duck out the back, I will tell everyone that Sookie was burning up and you needed to take her home. By the way, I expect to receive a Christmas card this year with a picture on it of the two of you wearing matching sweaters in front of your Christmas tree”

“Thanks Pam consider it done, I just have to talk to Mr. Cataliades for a second to settle up our legal costs before we leave if you don’t mind Eric Honey” said Sookie.

“Hi Mr. Cataliades, I want to thank you for everything”

“Ah, Sookie, I was a pleasure, now regarding my costs, when can I expect my first shipment?”

“I will make the first one tomorrow and take it to you and the rest I shall drop by your office once a week. Will that suit you?”

“Of course, looking forward to receiving them. It looks like the two of you are heading off; before you go I need Mr. Northman to sign the fertility clinic contract.”

Eric looked at Sookie; her eyes were pleading with him.

“Sure, why not” he said as he signed it with a flourish “if I can look after a bar full of ornery vamps how hard a human baby be?”

“Babies are nothing, you just feed and change them and they are fine; it is when they reach puberty and your little girl start wearing mini skirts and dating when there is problem. You do know that sex drive can be inherited by offspring from their parents right?.”

“Sookie promise me we are not going to have any female children if this works, I had a hard enough time with your suitors”

“See you two later, have a nice night”

“Sookie, what exactly is the price for my legal defense that you agreed to pay anyway?”

“I promised him that I would make him one peach cobbler a week for a year”

“Are you serious? You are paying one of the most sought after Supe lawyer in peach cobblers!”

“Apparently demons have a weakness of peaches and Hadley had told him that our old family recipe makes the best ones. But there is one more thing.”

“And that would be?”

“I did tell him that I you would host a karaoke birthday party for Danthia. You don’t mind do you?”

“No that sounds peachy” he said drolly.

Sookie again, things did turn out okay in the end, Eric kept his bar and his job after he told Phillipe that he was considering the Mississippi position offered to him and I would be going with him. Then Bill told him that he would follow us. So the King agreed to keep things as is; guess he didn’t want the two biggest money makers to leave his area.

I did end up giving up my job at Merlotte’s and moving into upper middle class neighbourhood in Shreveport. Please don’t think that I did it on his orders. After all that went on, I just wanted us to have a fresh start and working got really hard to do when I went to college. We did it on my suggestion.

We are still married, but it is not all wine and roses; he can still be a pompous ass sometimes.


He stepped out of his car that was parked beside the SUV Hummer.

He could sense them hiding in the shadows.

He crouched and bared his fangs preparing for combat.

Then they were on him; a least on his legs being that they were only 4 and 5 years old (Sookie's insemination took right away), so really not that much of a threat.

He gazed fondly down at the two blond and blue eyed children.

“Did you hear us this time Daddy?”

He smiled in amusement, 'like a herd of elephants' he thought.

“No, you two really got the jump on me this time”

“Daddy, Mamma asked us to check to see if you remembered to pick up the pizza” inquired Freya; she was the youngest and had Sookie’s eyes. Where as her brother Fjall (named for Eric’s father) was really tall for his age and looked more like his father.

He opened the passenger side of the Corvette and got out the pizza box with the familiar vampire friendly sticker attached “of course. What is pizza night without pizza.”

With Both children dangled from each one of his biceps he walked into the house.

Sookie was in the kitchen and looked tired, being that she was eight months pregnant and was at the stage where the sleeping was awkward.

“What are the monkeys up to?”

“Swinging Momma” cried Freya.

“Hi baby” she said kissing him.

“Any news today”

“Sure, we receive a wedding invitation is Sam and Tanya wedding and Pam dropped off another pair of baby booties that she knit. I swear to god Honey, the baby is only going to have 2 feet. Anymore of this and we will have to open up a baby store.”

His eyes lit up “a baby line for Fangtasia, what a great idea! Why didn’t I think of it? Just think black velour sleepers with the logo on them.”

Sookie rolled her eyes at Freya and she rolled them back.

“Also Sandra and Mr. Godin asked us over for dinner tomorrow. They have some exciting new; they are having their first baby!”

“What excuses did you make?”

“None, we are going”

“A baby huh? Hope it doesn’t get its father’s teeth” said Eric protruding his fangs over his lip mimicking Godin’s fang tooth overbite.

“Eric Northman, you are intolerable, not everyone one can be tall and gorgeous like you”

“Okay, we’ll go, but you have to promise me that you will not call me Ookie Wookie Schnookums this time.”

“I’ll try to restrain myself. You know Hon, just think it will be time for nightly feedings again” said Sookie touching her belly.

“Oh good, so that you can laugh at me again”

Sookie couldn’t help laughing when she saw him nursing a baby.

When she met him at his bar, he was lounging on his ‘throne’ at his bar, looking as regal as a prince and he gestured her over to approach him. He then tried to glamour her to get her to leave her boyfriend at the time, Bill and come with him.

So it was a far cry from then to see him holding a baby in his arms and feeding it from its bottle, while seated in her grandmother’s old rocker with an old towel slung over his shoulder in case of spit ups at 4am while he was still wearing his bar attire. But he still sounded just as imperious as before when he told her to “go get some sleep.”

“It is almost child birth time too”

“Don’t remind me. This is the last one you want right?”

“I don’t know, 3 is an odd number and I am not sure that is lucky. How about an even half a dozen?”

He answered by groaning.

Eric here, Sookie is finally sleeping so I thought I would add my two cent. First of all, I am not as wussy as I sound in this thing . Sookie is a tad sentimental; I blame all those romances she insists on reading.

I am still the same person as I was before all this, head honcho or High Lord Muckity Muck of Area 5 (Sookie’s words), difference is I don’t have sex with anyone else but my wife or feed off them anymore even. I live with my favourite beverage and drink True Blood for other times. I still have gals coveting me, but not covering me like I used to. She was right when she said that sex without feelings in nothing more then fast food all those year ago, fun but not satisfying. I shall have to kill you if you ever repeat that to her though.

I hope you liked reading the strange incredible emotional and physical journey we both took to end up at this point together.

And to answer a question I believe that everyone has, yes I do hold her purse for her when we go shopping together and she is in the change room, but only because I offer to. Someone needs to watch the stroller after all.

Back to ObsidianS Fan Fiction Menu
Back to Your Vampire Fan Fiction